by Lily Zante
He pushed away from his chair and walked over to where his father’s photo hung. He could imagine Edmondo giving him advice that was sometimes harsh and sometimes not what he wanted to hear but always exactly what he needed.
What now, Papa? What would you do now?
Of course there was no answer and, frustrated, he walked over to the window and looked out at the gardens. Seeing the dirty gray clouds in the dishwater colored sky only made him feel more despondent. Verona was best enjoyed in the summer when the landscape was green and lush like a velvet carpet spread out all around. Not now.
A walk would help clear his head. Sitting in here with his own miserable thoughts circling around would only plunge him further into misery.
He walked out into the Casa Adriana gardens, breathing in the cool fresh air of the February morning. As he walked past the pergola he noted that the table and chairs inside it had waterproof covers on.
Had Elsa done that?
Usually it would have been his father. With his hands deep in his pockets, feeling the slight chill on his back, Nico followed the pathway, observing the mostly evergreen shrubs and trees. The flowers were no longer in bloom but the gardens were green and alive and beautiful even on a day as miserable as this. In the distance he saw Salvatore and, puzzled by the man’s appearance, he walked over to him.
The wizened old man with deep wrinkles and an unsmiling face, nodded at him.
“Salvatore,” said Nico. “I didn’t expect to see you back until next month.” The gardens didn’t need much upkeep during the winter months and yet the more he thought about it, he could have sworn he’d seen Salvatore here more often than not.
“It still needs looking after,” Salvatore replied. “Not so much, but…” He stood with his shoulders hunched together. “The gardens are big. There is a lot to do.”
Nico nodded. He had a landscaping company that took care of most of it but Salvatore had always done a few odd jobs every now and then, while Edmondo had been alive. His father had kept a close eye on the gardens himself but after his death Nico had asked Salvatore to do more days. He hadn’t wanted to let his father’s beloved gardens languish, not even for one day.
Salvatore rubbed his grimy hands together then placed a dirty hand on his hip. “You don’t want me to work here?”
“What?” Nico shook his head quickly. “No, no. No. That’s not why I’m asking.” Then after a while, “You’re doing a good job, Salvatore.” He thought better of asking him about this working hours and days. They stood quietly for a few silent moments while Nico tried to think of something to say but the old man beat him to it. “How is your baby?”
“Elisabetta?” Saying her name made Nico smile. “She’s….” And then he wondered, because he didn’t know how she was. He assumed she was fine, and growing and developing, and coming up with more funny faces and interesting new mannerisms and sounds. Her hair might be a little longer, her face might have changed slightly again. But in all honesty, he didn’t know. He wasn’t there to see. The thought cut through him like a hot, slippery knife, sharp and painful. “She isn’t here,” he said, finally.
Thousands of miles separated them.
Salvatore’s heavily lined face crinkled some more. “Not here?”
“She’s in America, with her mother.”
“She’s gone to America, eh? Your wife?” The way he said it Nico wondered if the gardener knew something he didn’t.
“On business,” Nico explained. “She’s gone on business.”
Salvatore nodded. “And her mother?”
“Her mother?” Nico’s brows pinched together. “You mean Elsa? Yes, she’s gone back as well.”
“They are coming back soon?”
Nico was taken aback by Salvatore’s interest in his family. “Ava and the baby will be back soon.”
“And Elsa?”
Nico nodded slowly, at last understanding the intent behind the questions. A smile forced the corners of his lips to curl up slightly. “I don’t know. She will stay there for the summer, I think.”
The gardener nodded “You are sad alone, Si?”
“Si.” The gardener opened his mouth to say something but the beeping sound of Nico’s phone interrupted them. “Excuse me,” he said and stepped away to take the call.
It was time to get back to work.
Chapter 27
She’d been out all day and had spent another long day with the woman from the CPSC. And this after arriving at work early in order to deal with more documentation and paperwork and coordinating the recalls, as well as having a three way call with Dino and Andrea. She’d told them about the latest turn of events with the second child who had been injured.
She hadn’t even told Nico yet.
Guilt sped through her like a shot of adrenaline. She used to tell him everything, once. They used to talk all the time; share words, jokes, moments, feelings and good and bad days. She tried to bury the guilt with a nod. He’d called yesterday and she’d been too busy to speak to him for long.
Sometimes she wondered if she should have stayed at her mom’s place the whole time she’d been in Denver. She hadn’t fully appreciated until now how much of a help it had been to have Nico, her mom and Helena around. Having a second pair of hands to help out with the baby was a godsend.
It was approaching seven by the time she returned to the warehouse to pick up the new catalogs which had arrived from new suppliers. She wanted to look through these at home later this evening.
“What are you doing here?” Kim asked her as soon as she stepped inside.
“I could ask you the same,” said Ava, combing through the piles of paperwork, all marked as ‘URGENT’ with Post-It notes plastered on. “Shouldn’t you be at home with Danny?”
“He’s got a playdate with a friend but I’m going to pick him up soon,” said Kim. “What’s your excuse?” she asked. “Don’t you have a baby to go home to?”
“I do,” said Ava, and powered on her computer. She sat down, tilting her head forward while she waited for her computer screen to come to life. But she had a few things to take care of first. As desperate as she was to get home—as much for her mom’s sake than anything else—Ava knew that these things would fall to the wayside if she went home first.
“Any more calls from the Dawson mom?” This was the name they’d given to the mother of the second child who’d suffered the shoulder injury.
“No,” said Kim.
“Do we have any more detail on the fractured shoulder?”
Kim shook her head. “I’m sure we’ll hear from her soon. I’m going home,” said Kim, heading towards the door. “And you should be too.” She paused to put her woolly hat on. “You do know that it’s Valentine’s Day today.”
Was it?
Ava smiled at Kim weakly. “It is?”
“Not that you can do anything about it, what with Nico being over there and you being over here,” said Kim. Ava tapped the sharp lead end of the pencil against her notepad, leaving miniature gray-black marks on the lined white paper. It was a day she preferred to forget. “Do you have anything planned?” As far as she was aware, Kim was still single.
“All I want is a nice evening in with my little boy.” She waved and disappeared.
Valentine’s Day. It conjured up images of toys and over-glittered cards and teddy bears clutching cheap red satin love hearts. It wasn’t something that she chose to celebrate because it was the date of her other wedding. The one to Connor.
And yet this was her first Valentine’s with Nico. There was no point thinking too much about it since they were continents apart. If anything the real date, the start of their romance, that was the date that counted. It had been the day when Nico had come to find her in Venice, the first day he’d given her the bracelet, the same day they’d first made love. That had been the start of their romance, and it was the start of so many other special times, so many beautiful days and memories she had made with this man.
She smile
d thinking about him.
It was strange how things tended to be so fraught between them when they were together and now that they were apart, she longed to be with him. Like the day he’d come to the airport to see her off. It had made her sad to be leaving him all alone and that look in his eyes had stayed with her the entire flight. She felt like that now, sitting here in Denver, alone in the huge warehouse while Nico was probably at home, alone in that rambling huge mansion of his.
What were they doing?
She arrived home later than she’d hoped and her mom looked exhausted. Waves of guilt washed over her. “Sorry, Mom,” she said just as Elisabetta’s cries screeched out from the bedroom.
“I can’t settle her,” said Elsa. “I’ve tried, but she might be overtired. She didn’t sleep well earlier.” This only made Ava feel even more guilty. “I was trying to be as fast as I could but I had so many things to sort out. It seems to be never-ending.”
“It’s okay, honey.” But Elsa’s words didn’t ring true. Her mom looked beat. It came as no surprise, after all she’d looked after Elisabetta every day, except for weekends, since they’d arrived here. It wasn’t fair to anyone, not her baby and not her mom.
She rushed into her bedroom and her heart clenched at the sight of Elisabetta with tears streaming down her cheeks. Picking her up and holding her tightly, she wiped her tears away and smothered her with kisses. The baby calmed down and her crying trailed away. But when Ava touched Elisabetta’s forehead, she found it to be warmer than usual. Ava wondered if she was coming down with a something. Her daughter’s tiny hand skimmed over her jaw and Ava clasped her tiny hand and kissed it.
How could she run an international business with a young baby who needed her? Maybe it was time to throw the towel in. Perhaps Nico was right. She could be a better mother by being at home. She didn’t need to work and Elisabetta needed her the most now. She could always concentrate on her business later on, once the children no longer needed her.
She walked out into the kitchen where Elsa was putting the baby’s bottles into the sterilizing unit. “Leave that, Mom,” she said, feeling guilty. “I can finish it off later.”
“It won’t take me long,” said Elsa, continuing regardless.
“Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing, Ava.” Elsa turned around with an empty bottle in her hand. “You’re in a tight corner, I can see that. Let me help. That’s what moms are for.”
“I’ll try to work shorter days.”
“Don’t do that on account of me. I know you have a job to do and you don’t have much time to do it in. Don’t you worry about me. I can manage. How do you think I managed to raise you girls by myself? Admittedly, I don’t have as much energy as I used to but she’s not running around yet.” She wiped her hands. “That’s when the real trouble will start. You’ll have to hire help then.” She dissolved into baby talk as she spoke to Elisabetta. “She has a slight temperature.” Elsa noted. “She didn’t have one earlier.”
“I’ll give her some Tylenol.”
“Good idea. It might help her to sleep. Maybe that’s why she was so restless earlier. You try to get some rest, too,” she said, putting her coat on. “If you don’t mind, honey, I’m going to leave.”
“Say bye-bye to Grandma,” said Ava, taking Elisabetta’s arm and waving it at her mom.
“Go easy on your mommy,” said Elsa, kissing her granddaughter on the nose.
“’Night, Mom,” said Ava, seeing her mom to the door. The sound of the door closing made Elisabetta erupt into a fresh round of tears.
Not again.
Ava paced around the living room and hoped that tonight wouldn’t become one of those nights. She wanted to get changed, and eat, and unwind, maybe take a long, hot soak in her bathtub.
It wasn’t going to happen.
Maybe a feeding was the thing that her baby had missed the most. She’d started weaning her off the breast now and had resorted to giving her the night feeding only. Laying the baby on the couch, she slipped off her jacket and undid her blouse. Then she eased onto the couch and sat back, closing her eyes while Elisabetta took to her breast. It seemed to help, and the baby guzzled away hungrily.
After a short while, Elisabetta fell asleep and Ava placed her in the crib, only remembering then that she’d forgotten to give her Tylenol.
But she was able to eat in peace, and shower, and was about to get into bed when Nico’s text came through. Wary of disturbing the baby, Ava walked out of the bedroom and called him back.
“Hey you,” he said, softly.
“Hey,” she replied back.
There was silence for a few moments.
“You sound tired,” Nico said. “Bad day?”
“Where should I start?”
“Tell me.”
And she proceeded to tell him about the second reported injury. He sounded notably shocked. “How is the child now?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t heard anything more and I’ve called many times but I only get the answering machine. I’ve left messages but nobody has called back. It’s all very strange.”
Nico frowned. “I feel bad for you. All of this is out of your control and I know you’re working so hard to put things right, it doesn’t seem fair that this should happen to you. I was starting to believe that things were going well—you sounded busy, and the recalls were happening.”
“I know. I thought we were over the worst of it but it seems not. I dread each time the phone rings because it could be another parent with more bad news.”
“How are you doing?” he asked, his voice low and soft. “I wish I was there with you. I wish I could make it all better for you.” He’d caught her at a low point and she couldn’t keep her guard up anymore. Nor could she convince him that she was still this super woman who could run her business and raise a child—how could she when she no longer believed it herself? Maybe if she didn’t have these potential lawsuits hanging over her head, or the threat that her business could go bankrupt, or the worry of other customers or having to deal with hysterical women screaming at her down the phone—maybe if she didn’t have any of these things to contend with then, maybe then, she could do it all. But right now, she was beat.
“I’m not sure how I feel,” she said, hugging her knees as she sat back on the sofa. “I’ve been questioning a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
She struggled to vocalize her feelings.
“Ava?” When he spoke to her like that, as if he was really listening, as if there was no Bruno or Ines or spa hotel matters on his mind, when he was all hers and wanted to know how she was, when he sounded as if he really cared, when he was all of these things, then he was the old Nico and she missed him more than ever. “Tell me.”
She bit her lip. “I feel…odd,” she said. She’d reached a turning point today. It was all catching up with her and seeing her mother looking so worn out earlier, and with Elisabetta not being well, and with everything going on at work, well, today she’d turned into a mess of emotions and she hated being without him.
“This never seems to be a good day for you,” he said.
“What day?”
“Valentine’s Day.”
“Ugh,” she said. “Who cares about Valentine’s Day.” She paused a while, reflecting on her decision. “I think this is it,” she said, slowly.
“This is what?”
“I think maybe you’re right. That I’m taking too much on, that maybe I should sell the store and be done with it.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am serious,” she said, yawning.
“What’s brought this on?”
“Nothing, and everything. Being here and dealing with all of this and my mom looking exhausted, and Elisabetta not being well.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding anxious.
“She has a slight temperature and my mom said she was difficult to settle earlier on.”
“What is it? A fever? Is she t
eething or—”
She laughed. “She’s not teething yet, at least I don’t think so, according to my trusted baby book they usually start teething around 6 months.”
“But it can be as young as 3 months.”
“Really?”
“Anywhere from 3 to 12 months. Is she drooling a lot? Does she have swollen and bulging gums? Is she rubbing her face or trying to chew anything she can get her hands on?”
Ava snorted in surprise. “Do you have your own baby book?”
“A man’s got to read something, especially when he’s sitting at home missing his two favorite girls.”
The image of him sitting at his desk in his study reading a baby book made her giggle.
“But seriously,” he continued, “is she doing those things?”
The guilt resurfaced and trebled. “I’m not sure,” she said in a flat voice. She wasn’t sure because she wasn’t around during the day to see. “I might not go in tomorrow if she’s still unwell.” And then she remembered. “Damn it. I have to go in tomorrow. I have a meeting with the CPSC.”
“Can’t you postpone it?”
“I’ll have to do something. I’ll see how she is in the morning.” She yawned again.
“Go to sleep. Maybe your tiredness is forcing you to make these decisions about your store. We’ll talk about it more later, but I want you to go to bed.”
She’d expected a victory dance, or something along the lines of ‘I told you so.’ His suggestion to talk later about her decision to sell didn’t make sense. “I will go to bed, but first, tell me. How are things with you?” He’d hardly said a word about the spa hotel and it was due to open soon. “You don’t have long to go before it opens.”
“Not long, no.”
“I’ll be back by then.”
“Yes, you will be, now go to sleep!”
“I will.”
“And Ava?”
“Hmmmm?” Another yawn.
“I wish I was there to help.”
“I wish you were, too.”
Chapter 28
He’d made up his mind as soon as he’d put the phone down. Now, five days later, Nico was packed and ready to leave for Denver. He was going to surprise his wife.