by Mia Archer
My Evil Ex Girlfriends
Mia Archer
Contents
1. Under Siege
2. Heroic Confrontation
3. Nemeses
4. Evacuation
5. Emergency Teleportation
6. Evil Ex-Girlfriend
7. Semi-Evil Ex-Girlfriend
8. Underworld
9. Questions
10. Decorating
11. Entrance
12. Criminal Underground
13. Let Them Fight
14. Entertainment
15. Territorial
16. Negotiations
17. Old Friends
18. Invasion of Privacy
19. Rousing Speech
20. Sneaking
21. Old Enemies
22. Woman Behind the Curtain
23. Resurrection
24. Dodging
25. Secret Weapon
26. Chamber of Horrors
27. Super Bigot
28. Chamber of Supers
29. Dawning Horror
30. Goddess in Fury
31. New Button
32. Doomsday
33. The End?
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Also by Mia Archer
My Evil Ex Girlfriends
By Mia Archer
Copyright 2018 Mia Archer
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Individuals pictured on the cover are models and used for illustrative purposes only.
First digital edition electronically published by Mia Archer, December 2018
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1
Under Siege
I fired off a couple of shots as Sabine ran across the massive warehouse. She shouldn't be out of her storage container in the first place, but no one ever stopped to ask me what I thought before they tried to ruin my diabolical genius plans.
Fialux certainly hadn't stopped to ask me what I thought when she broke into my lab and started really fucking shit up.
Speaking of Fialux and fucking shit up. She burst through the ceiling and dove straight for Sabine. She had a wicked smile on her face. Clearly she was looking forward to doing exactly the kind of heroic rescue I didn't need happening in my lab right now.
I fired off a shot from the old standby, the anti-Newtonian field, and watched it quickly turn to a bright blue ball of light that was nearly blinding. Thankfully my contacts went dark to save my ass from blindness, which was a good thing since I didn’t think I’d have the use of my medbays when this was all said and done.
I looked around for something. Anything. My eyes fell on one of the massive loading robots. Usually they were autonomous, but I hadn’t been able to resist putting a cage on the things that would allow me to take over manually should I need it.
Having a bunch of metal between me and Fialux seemed like just the ticket. She seemed stronger than she’d ever been before, she was certainly burning through that anti-Newtonian bubble faster than ever before, and she’d already been able to kick my ass before she lost her powers.
So I stepped into the loading robot and took a couple of steps forward.
"Get away from her you bitch!" I shouted, unable to resist a good quote. I figured you took your fun where you could get it when you had a goddess running loose in your lab tearing your life’s work to pieces.
Fialux looked up in surprise, and that surprise lasted long enough for me to slap her across the face with a giant robotic arm.
Hey, when I moved stuff around my warehouse I didn’t go small. Which meant I needed a big robot to be able to throw stuff around. A robot that maybe owed more than a little in its design philosophy to a combination of the movie I’d just quoted and Japanese cartoons which were totally fucking awesome even though I'd never been able to get Fialux to enjoy them.
"What the hell is that?" Fialux shouted.
I didn’t talk. I punched, and she flew across the room. Luckily for me she’d apparently gotten back into bad habits while she was on that other planet getting her super powers supercharged. She had her strength and invulnerability back now, and she was totally relying on that to save her in this fight.
Unfortunately it wasn’t long before she righted herself and flew at me faster than I could move a giant robot arm to swat her out of the air. I turned to the side, but not before she slammed into the shoulder on my loading robot and knocked one of the arms off.
Shit.
"Son of a… Do you have any idea how expensive and time-consuming it is to fix one of these things?"
"I don't care," Fialux growled. "Let her go!"
"You know this really hurts," I said. "I thought we had something, and you moved on this fast?"
"Don't listen to her!" Sabine said.
There’d been something odd on Fialux's face for a moment there. Anger that seemed to be taking over. I'd known her long enough to know she was pretty calm and serene even on the worst of days. There was probably something about knowing you were indestructible that made it easier to roll with the punches life threw your way, but fury contorted her face up until the moment Sabine shouted at her.
It took a moment for her to calm the fuck down, her chest heaved in a very distracting way during that moment, but finally she got that rage under control. Sort of. I think.
"Son of a bitch," I said. "I don't have time for this!"
I wrapped my remaining robotic hand around Fialux. She looked down in surprise as I squeezed as hard as I could.
I knew it wasn't going to do any damage, but damage wasn't what I was going for. Merely a delaying tactic. The only thing I could ever hope to do against her was delay, delay, delay. Even that wasn't much of a long-term strategy. More of a short-term strategy that would probably end in tears. Especially now that she was in my lab fucking shit up.
"Seriously?" she asked, staring at me. "I thought you’d come up with better than this Natalie."
I shrugged. "Honestly I thought I'd have a better plan by now too, but here we are."
Where "we were" was her lifting my exoskeleton by the hand I had a wrapped around her. Shit. I hadn't thought of that. One moment I was staring down at her with my big robotic hand wrapped around her, and the next moment I was being spun around and the robot slammed into the wall.
I hit hard enough that the shields on my suit activated and the inertial dampeners kicked into gear. That was saying something, because the stuff on the robot had also kicked in. I was nothing if not obsessive in my desire to make sure all of my safety systems were redundant as all get out.
"Son of a…"
Fialux whipped the robot by its hand and slammed me down again. Bits and pieces of the giant loading robot crashed down around me. Hey, the thing was designed for lifting heavy objects in the warehouse. It wasn't designed to stand up to the kind of punishment that a superpowered being like Fialux could dish out.
"CORVAC, do you have anything that might help my ass?” I asked.
Something flashed out. An anti-Newtonian bubble wrapped around Fialux. I stared as it started to turn an almost blinding blue.
That thing wasn't going to last long. They never did against Fialux, and they seemed to have an even shorter shelf life now that she’d spent some time in that planet that seemed to be the source of her powers. All I could do was hope it would last long enough to save my ass.
I pulled the eject lever. The canopy around me shot up and I flew out of the robot. It wasn't an explosive ejection lik
e, say, the sort of thing one might expect after watching videos of pilots exiting their planes as quickly as possible when everything went pear shaped.
No, the loading robots were only ever used in the warehouse where there was a roof overhead that could really ruin my day if I happened to hit that thing headfirst at full speed.
So it was really more that I was gently catapulted out of the thing at just a fast enough speed that I’d get away if there was something dangerous is going on with the loading robot, but not so fast that it would cause serious injury if I hit anything on my way out.
Not that I ever used the things without my suit on in the first place. Redundant safety measures, bitches. I whirled around and fired a couple of shots at Fialux just as she got out of the anti-Newtonian bubble CORVAC lobbed at her.
The shots didn't do a damn bit of good, of course. I was starting to think nothing was going to work against her. They did manage to distract her long enough that she couldn't go straight at me though. So I shot off another bubble while she was jerking around trying to avoid my shots.
That must've been a left over instinct from when she was suffering from a lack of powers. She was dealing with a weird mix of instincts from when she had her powers and instincts that’d started to take over from when she didn’t have her powers and it was making it difficult to figure out exactly what the hell she was going to do next.
She’d been a lot more predictable the first time we fought, is what I was getting at. I almost missed that predictability, even if it was that she would predictably uppercut me with one of those superpowered punches every chance she got.
"I'm going to destroy you!" she growled. "Surrender now before I have to do something we're both going to regret, Natalie!"
"I'm supposed to say that to you!" I said.
I did a quick inspection of the room as I fired off a few more anti-Newtonian bubbles. I shot off enough of them that one of them actually hit.
Not that it solved my problems for even a moment. Sabine was nowhere to be seen. Damn it. That woman had an annoying habit of getting away from me when it was the least convenient moment for yours truly.
2
Heroic Confrontation
I sighed. I’d really hoped I’d be able to do this without bringing the big guns into the fight, but she was leaving me with no choice. I did have one weapon left in my arsenal that might be able to do something against her.
So I turned and flew as fast as I could go towards one of the side doors that would take me to the armory. I didn’t for a moment think that this would actually work, of course. Fialux was fast enough that she could easily catch up to me even when I was going at full speed, but I had to try.
I still had that gun Dr. Lana had used once upon a time. I could still maybe turn that on her if I got to the armory.
As plans went, it was a pretty good one. Go find the weapon I'd confiscated that’d been used to relieve Fialux of her powers once upon a time. Turn that weapon on her.
Maybe I hadn't figured out how stupid Dr. Lana made the thing work, but I did understand that pointing the shooty end at Fialux when she had her powers and pulling the trigger would take those powers away.
“Mistress…” CORVAC said.
“Not now CORVAC,” I growled. “Kinda busy.”
Though the telltale feeling of a superpowered hand wrapping around my ankle never came. Weird. Was she not following me?
“I think…”
I reached the armory doors. They flew open, and I skidded to a halt midair as I realized the one major flaw with my plan.
“Fuck me,” I growled.
“That was fun once upon a time,” Fialux said, smiling an evil smile. “But no thanks Natalie.”
Fuckity fuck!
“That is what I was trying to warn you about, mistress,” CORVAC unhelpfully intoned in my ear.
Fialux might’ve had no idea how to get to my lab before I pulled the boneheaded move of bringing Sabine here and basically sending a signal inviting her to come wreck my shit, but she had explored my lab pretty thoroughly following me around as I went about my daily work routines.
Which meant she knew exactly how to get to the part of the lab that held Dr. Lana’s weapons I'd been experimenting on. A half assed experimentation, because why experiment on something that would harm your girlfriend?
Now there was a lesson I was learning the hard way right now. Don't trust anyone. Especially someone you’re dating. You never knew when their mind was going to be taken over by a parasitic alien warm from another world sending them on a rampage to try and conquer the world with stops at your lab to destroy everything you’d ever created and loved in between.
Okay, so that’s not exactly something that happens in every breakup, but you’d be surprised how often that sort of thing happened to super powered couples that were on the outs in Starlight City.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I growled, even though I knew exactly what the fuck she was doing here and didn’t care for it.
Fialux held up the only remaining copy of Dr. Lana’s weapon I had. She smiled a cruel smile.
"I can catch up with Sabine later," she said. "It's going to be easy enough to figure out where she is, after all."
Fialux reached up and tapped her head. That smile never left her face.
"In the meantime it occurred to me that there was at least one trick you had that could be used to defeat me," she said. “Can’t have you running around with a weapon like that, right? I’m sure you even did some silly villain thing like letting Dr. Lana think she was free so she’d make more of these for you or something.”
I quietly wiggled my fingers just so at my side. Nonverbal cues to change up the settings on my wrist blaster. I had one chance, and I had to distract like a motherfucker if I was going to make my shot.
"Dr. Lana is dead," I said. "I killed her myself."
Okay, so it was really more of an accident than killing her myself, but I'd put her in the chamber of horrors that’d ultimately killed her with a ridiculous weakness. Honestly. Who goes to the trouble of giving themselves superpowers and then overlooks a stupid weakness like water inhalation?
Though that plan to let Dr. Lana run free so she could make more of these things while I tracked her was a good one. Downright villainous, even. Yet another reminder this wasn’t my Fialux.
She clearly hadn't been expecting that. Her eyes went wide. Her mouth hung open. She shook her head.
"Wait. You killed her?"
There was something of the old Fialux there for a moment. Something of the goody-two-shoes who hated the idea of killing anyone. Even if it was someone who had it coming.
I wondered if I could use that. What if I could coax her into seeing my point of view? What if I could pull a Jim Kirk and talk that parasite out of her mind?
Sure Jim Kirk mostly talked computers into committing suicide, not parasitic worms, but whatever. I think the comparison still stands. Sort of. If you squint and look at it just right.
"Guilty as charged," I said with a shrug. "Sure it was kind of an accident. I got distracted by a game of Skyrim while I was running an experiment to see what her weakness was and, oops, it turns out I got it right on the first try and I was busy fighting off a dragon and…"
Fialux laughed. It was a low chuckle at first, but by the time she was done her head was thrown back and she was letting out a cackling gleeful villainous laugh.
Okay. I'm not going to lie. Seeing my girlfriend in her oddly invulnerable green miniskirt and crop top throwing her head back and letting out a villainous laugh from that otherwise sweet and innocent and oh so sexy athletic frame was pretty fucking hot. What I wouldn't give to see her letting out a villainous cackle like that when she was on my side rather than trying to destroy my lab.
Only she wasn't on my side, and I couldn't enjoy the moment. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot as she slowed down, trying to project impatience but mostly worrying that this wasn’t going to go my way. Again.
> "Are you done?" I asked.
"I'm not done by far," she said.
"Will you at least tell me what's so funny?" I asked.
I figured it wasn't as much of a long shot as one might think. Fialux was new to the whole villainy thing, after all. Which meant it might be easy to get her trapped doing a monologue, which would be the distraction I needed. I tried not to grin as she shook her head and started revealing her evil plan.
Okay. So the whole indestructible and immortal thing was going to be difficult to deal with if I couldn’t get that weapon out of her hands, but at least it was easy to manipulate her since she was new to the whole villainy thing. That was a plus.
"That's simple my dear Natalie," she said. "By the way. I like that you decided to ditch the mask. It’s a good look!”
I reached up and touched my face. "Thank you! I mean I figured if my enemies know my secret identity, and it's not like I have many friends or acquaintances outside of those few enemies, what's the point in doing the mask anymore?"
"Well it looks good," she said.
"Well I… Wait a minute. Stop it! We're enemies now. We’re not supposed to chat like we’re still dating!"
Fialux shook her head. She did that whole confused thing again. Like she’d been free of that damned worm’s influence for just a moment. I realized maybe I should’ve taken advantage of that moment.