“Oh, mama. Two o’clock.” Jess pointed across the pool at a guy. “He is hot.”
Squinting, Clare looked up. Tall, red swim trunks, but… “How can you tell? I can’t even see his face from here.”
“I’ve seen him before. He lives in 4D.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“Hi and bye. I’m waiting on him to make a move. We should go out later,” Jess said, propping up the back of her chair. “Get some drinks. Flirt with men.”
Clare turned the page. “I can’t drink.”
“Oh, right. Well, you can watch me. Sober driver! Whoop!” She held out a closed fist for Clare to bump. “And you can still flirt.”
“I don’t know. I don’t feel very flirty. I’m about to be a single woman with two kids.” Could she flirt with men? Not now, no. But ever? She thought of Deacon.
“Lot of hot single dads out there. Widowers. Divorced. I could probably dig up some numbers for you.”
No. She didn’t see herself going there again, wondering what they were really thinking, really hiding, behind smiling brown eyes.
“Is this all you two do all day?” Connor asked as he stepped under the shade of their umbrella. “Lay around at the pool?”
“I’m growing your nephews,” Clare said, smiling up at her brother. “I need my rest.”
Connor was tall and built, with hazel eyes and an All-American boy-next-door smile that drew girls—and women—like flies to honey. He turned his attention to Clare’s belly. “Hey, in there. Hey, little dudes. It’s summer. Come out and play with your Uncle Connor.”
“Not yet,” she said, rubbing a hand over her belly and what she thought was a tiny foot.
“How much longer?” he asked. “You’ve been pregnant forever.”
“Thank you so much. I hadn’t noticed. And I still have two more months, so thanks.”
“Jeez. I don’t know if the pregnant mountain will hold that long. And what about you?” Connor asked, eyeing Jess. “What’s your excuse?”
“I’m here for moral support.”
Connor snorted, earning a narrow-eyed glare evident even behind her sunglasses.
“And it’s Saturday, moron.”
“She’s got you there,” Clare said.
“Tell your sister she shouldn’t go back to work.”
“I’ve told her,” Connor said, taking a seat on the empty lounger next to Clare. “But I’ll tell her again. Clare, you shouldn’t go back to work.”
“I don’t have the job yet. Just an interview.” But since it was at her old school and she had a good relationship with the principal, she was pretty confident. “And since neither of you are a doctor, I’m going to listen to Dr. Allen. Who, by the way, says as long as I feel good and I’m not on my feet too much, it’s fine. It’s a librarian interim. It’ll hardly be manual labor. And I need to work.”
She’d considered working during the summer at a daycare or a coffee shop. Something. But none of the directors she’d spoken to were interested in paying someone with a degree in education unless they planned to stay long term. Her doctor had nixed the coffee shop idea.
“The interim is only from the end of August to the first of October. Then I’ll be off.” But she’d have to go back, if not to teaching than to something.
The boys weren’t even born yet, and she already didn’t want to leave them. She reminded herself millions of parents did it every day. But just in the few daycare visits she’d made so far, she’d seen too many parents with strained smiles, rushing their kids in so they could make it to work or rushing from work to pick them up again.
“Or you could call the asshole,” Jess said, “and tell him to take responsibility and support you and his children. There’s no reason you should be doing this by yourself.”
“For once, I agree with Jess,” Connor said.
Clare closed her eyes. Thinking about it made her feel sick, and she’d spent enough time feeling sick for the first four months of her pregnancy. “I’ll be talking to him soon enough,” she said softly. The thought of that made her heart beat faster. What would he say? Would he even remember her? Would Deacon even want to see them? Would he want to keep her and his sons a secret from his wife? She’d almost rather the second, though that was selfish of her. Her children should have a father. Of course, donating sperm didn’t make him a father.
“It would save a lot of money if you’d move in with me,” Jess said, jumping back to her favorite topic. “Connor, tell your sister she should move in with me.”
“Right,” Connor said. “Because your life would blend perfectly with two babies.”
“Shut up, Connor. I know more about babies than you do.”
“Pfft. Yeah, right.”
“Okay, kids. Don’t make me put you in time out,” Clare said, trying to keep the peace between brother and friend. “You know I love you,” Clare said, turning to Jess. “But I’m about to be a mom. I can’t be crashing at a friend’s. Or a brother’s,” she added to Connor before he could throw in his two cents about being the uncle. “Besides, you already housed me most of last month.”
And honestly, she was happy to have her own space. A cute little single story, zero lot line. Plenty of space for her and two babies with a mailbox she could plant flowers around. And most importantly, it was affordable. The ratio of teacher’s salary to daycare for two infants was extremely depressing math. Not to mention the search and the waiting lists.
“So you’re feeling okay?” Connor asked sweetly, and she instantly loved him again.
“Yes. I could tell you all the dirty little details of pregnancy, but I think I’ll save them for when you’re really on my nerves.”
“Thanks. Have you talked to Mom lately?”
“A few days ago. She calls exactly once a week to ask me how I am. I think she tries not to think about it the other six days.”
“You’re such a scandal,” Jess said, smiling.
“I really am.” She laughed softly. Her parents had been pretty good about the whole thing, considering their traditional mindset. They had even offered to help support her, but she wouldn’t do that unless she absolutely had to. “It’s fine. It’s not like they’ve disowned me or anything. You know how they are. She still pretends you and all your friends are virgins.”
“On that note, I think I’ll get back to work,” Connor said.
“How’s it going?”
“It’s going. The bar top is supposed to be delivered this week, so I’m trying to make sure we’re ready for it to go in.”
“I still can’t believe you’re opening a bar,” Jess said.
“A brewery,” Connor corrected. “And I’d think that’d be right up your alley. Bye, Griz.”
She smiled at his nickname, a play on their father’s Clare Bear, as he kissed her cheek.
“Later, Jess.”
Jess waved her hand in the air without looking over. Clare went back to her book and the section on babies learning their father’s voice. Some mothers said their babies moved when the father spoke to their belly, a second voice they associated with love and comfort. So her babies were already missing out?
“I need ice cream,” Clare said suddenly, closing her book. She needed to think about ice cream, not Deacon.
“Okay.” Jess sat up. “You want to go to the store now? We could get stuff for dinner.”
“Nah. You stay. I’ll go. It’s too hot for me out here anyway.”
Chapter 17
DEACON SAW JACKSON AT the bar, a short glass of amber liquid in his hand. “Hey, man,” he said, taking the opposite seat at the high-top. “Sorry I’m late.”
“No problem. Let me guess. The girls didn’t want you to leave? Maci flushed your wallet?”
“Not this time.”
“Margo filled your underwear drawer with flour? Someone has gum in their hair.”
“No. They’ve long since lost gum privileges. Margo has a cold. I swear they’ve been back in school less than a month, and they
’re already bringing home the crud.” So even though his mom was watching them tonight, he’d stayed to rub Margo’s head himself until she fell asleep. Then, because he was a sucker, he’d done the same for Maci.
“Then I had to swing by the grocery because they each need to bring in a pumpkin for a class project. But Margo said some other kid’s mom already got him a white pumpkin, and so she wanted a white one. I told her ‘no problem.’ Who knew white pumpkins were so hard to find?”
“But you found one?”
“Of course. After three grocery stores.”
Jax just shook his head. “Can we get this man a drink?”
“Just water,” he told the bartender.
Jax shook his head again. “And the man can’t even have a drink.”
“I can. I just…”
“You’re too responsible, you know that?” Jax looked into his drink then back up when Deacon got his water. “I’m going to get real with you for a second. I’m worried about you.”
Deacon started to laugh, but Jax added, “Seriously. You need to get out of the house more, meet someone. Or someones. When was the last time you got out of the house for reasons other than work?”
“I’m out now,” he said, but he thought of Clare. Even though he’d reluctantly called off the search a month ago, he thought of pasta, wine, of a warm breeze, and Clare’s hair blowing softly around her shoulders.
“You’re out now because of work.”
Right. They were meeting colleagues, some of whom had been at the Dominican conference. Deacon sipped his water and wished for something stronger.
“Let me introduce you to some friends.”
“Not just no, but hell no.”
“What? Why? I do know women I haven’t slept with.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Jax tossed back the rest of his drink with a smile. “I’m offended. But, D—”
“Nope.” Deacon held up a hand. “Not interested.”
Jax let it go. The other men arrived, and they were seated. Thirty minutes into the conversation, Murray brought up the Dominican conference. No reason to think he wouldn’t, but he’d forgotten that Murray had met Clare. That had been their second night. The night they’d danced.
“And the talented doctor here found the most beautiful woman on the entire island.” Murray laughed, enjoying his storytelling. He raised his class in salute.
Deacon felt Jax’s eyes on him.
“I saw her again,” Murray went on. “I believe it was the day you left.”
Every cell in his body tightened. “You saw Clare?”
“Oh, yeah.” He took a long, slow swallow of his drink, and Deacon wanted to grab him, shake out the details. “She was in the lobby. She asked me about you. Seemed a little…” He shrugged.
Deacon’s mind raced. She seemed what? Upset? Angry? What?
“Confused,” Murray finally said. “I wasn’t sure what to tell her other than you’d left. I mean, my wife and I had just seen you go. You were in such a hurry, you didn’t see us. Anyway, yeah. She asked us if we’d seen you, so… Come to think of it, my wife said she looked like she was about to cry, but you know Betty—she likes to paint an emotional picture on everything.”
No, he didn’t know Betty. But he knew Clare, and the thought of her crying…
“Excuse me.” Deacon pushed back his chair and pulled his phone out even as he beelined toward the exit.
He scrolled through his contacts and hit the PI before he reached the outside door.
It rang once. “This is Cassidy.”
“Deacon Montgomery. Change of plans. Find her. I don’t care what it costs. Just find her.”
* * *
CLARE TOOK ONE LAST look around the library, making sure everything was in order. The fourth graders were her last class of the day, and most of them had given her hugs goodbye.
The school had hired her as an interim, but there was a better-than-good chance she would secure a second-grade position opening in January. That left only one problem—she still didn’t have childcare lined up for when she went back to work.
Already, the thought of leaving her boys made her stomach hurt. They’d been placed on a waiting list for her first choice of daycare, and she was waiting to hear back for her second choice. Ideally, she wanted someone who kept a few kids in their home, but all the names she’d been given wouldn’t take more than one newborn.
She straightened the back-to-school-themed books, lining them up on top of the bookcases, made sure her welcome-back note was laid out where the returning teacher would see it, then retrieved her purse from the back room.
On Monday she met Jess for dinner at their favorite chain restaurant for their standing dinner date.
“Hey,” Jess said, greeting her. “How was the doctor? Sorry I couldn’t go.”
“Everything’s fine. Still pregnant. Still big as a house. She rubbed her hands over her hard belly and squeezed herself into the booth, pushing the table a few inches toward Jess.
“I am woman, hear me roar?”
Clare laughed. “Right. Grrr.”
“That was weak.”
“Well, I’m enormously pregnant. I don’t roar like I used to. I’ll get it back.”
Jess smiled gently. “I know you will. So how big are Tick and Tac now?”
“Dr. Allen is estimating five pounds and five and a half. She said if they don’t come in another seven to ten days, she’ll induce.”
“Holy crap!” Jess literally bounced on her seat. “This is really happening.”
“It really is. I’m ready.” She tried to draw in a full breath and was reminded she couldn’t. Not enough room in there. “I mean, I think I’m ready. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever to meet them.”
“Huh. It’s gone pretty fast on my end,” Jess said, grinning, and picked up her menu.
“Don’t make me hurt you.”
“Here you go, ladies.” A waitress set a plate of loaded cheese fries on the table between them.
“Oh, my gosh. You ordered cheese fries. I love you. Desperately.” Clare pulled out a cheese-coated fry with bacon bits and scallions clinging to it and dipped it in ranch dressing. “I’ll pay for this later. It’ll be worth it.”
“You’ll have heartburn. I’ll have to do two extra hours at the gym.”
“I’ll have to put in the gym time, too,” Clare said, grabbing another fry. “But right now, I don’t care. Oh, I had a different nurse today. She asked me about the father.”
Jess rolled her eyes. “Good grief. You’d think they could put that on your chart or something.”
“Right. Left at the altar. Falls for another less than three days later. Or they could just write ‘loser’ at the top, or maybe stamp it on there in red ink.”
“Clare—”
“I know. I’m not a loser. Just a bad judge of character. Bad judge of relationship viability.”
“Maybe. But let’s go with hormonal. Easier to solve. Here. Eat more cheese fries.” She stuffed two in her mouth to demonstrate.
“I know what you’re doing,” Clare said, smiling at her very best friend in the entire world. “You’re using me as an excuse to eat like a pig.”
“Hey. What are friends for?”
Clare reached out and covered Jess’s hand. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Everything’s going to be fine. But I think you should tell him. It’s time, don’t you think?”
“No.”
Jess looked thoughtful. “What are you afraid of?”
Clare tried for another deep breath. Was reminded again she couldn’t quite do that. “I’m afraid to hear him say it meant nothing,” she said softly and stared at the fries. “I don’t want it to hurt to hear him say it. I mean, I know it didn’t, it couldn’t have.” She looked up and met her friend’s sky-blue eyes. “I barely knew him. It shouldn’t hurt.” But it did. “I don’t want to talk about this, or him. I have to pee. Surprise, surprise.”
She
stood up to go to the bathroom and froze at the little pop inside her, like a rubber band snapping. Then a warm rush soaked her underwear and trickled down her legs. “Jess.” She stared at the puddle at her feet. “I don’t think I’m going to make it two more weeks.”
Chapter 18
RAKE IN HAND, DEACON paused in his work to watch his girls race through the yard. Nearly an acre lot, backed up by another forty yards of evergreens that divided his property from the back edge of a park, provided ample yardwork. He didn’t mind, especially not on a day like this.
Margo kicked a ball into the rosebushes, making their one-eyed tabby, Cat, dart for cover. Maci pounded in after her. They both wore jeans and red sweaters, and they’d both ditched their little windbreakers he’d zipped them into. But the temp was edging over fifty, and the early-October sun shone brightly in a clear blue sky. They were fine.
He smiled as they raced through the piles of leaves he’d raked that morning and not finished bagging for that very reason. They hadn’t been quite old enough to experience the joy of pouncing on a pile of leaves last year or the year before. This year they were in their prime.
He turned as his dad pulled into the driveway. His mom waved through the windshield. He’d asked his dad to borrow a ladder, but his dad, being his dad, had insisted on bringing it over himself.
His mom had barely stepped through the back gate before the girls rushed her.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, honey. And my little angels.” She hugged the girls to her legs. “I’m here to supervise your father, and,” she said looking down at the girls. “I thought we might make cookies.” The girls cheered, and Deacon smiled as he fished his buzzing cell out of his pocket, expecting it to be Jax.
“I found her,” said the voice on the other end.
“What?” He pressed a finger to his other ear and stepped away as his father came into the backyard, voice booming in greeting.
“I had to go down there myself, but you said spare no expense. I know a guy who knows a guy—hell—” The PI chuckled. “You don’t need the details, but let’s just say that with the date you gave me, I found her on the airport camera feed and then with a whole lot of luck, I found her cab driver.
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