by Helen Lacey
Tess’s gaze narrowed. “You think I should marry him?”
“I think you should do what makes you happy,” her sister said. “And Mitch did make you happy...once.”
“Past tense,” she said. “I believe marriage should be about love, not because Mitch thinks it’s the right thing to do. I want my baby to have a father who is present in his life, but I don’t want him present in mine.”
As she said the words, an inexplicable pain pierced her chest. But she had to say it out loud, had to live and breathe it and make it real to herself. She wasn’t about to get reeled back into Mitch’s vortex, despite how good the kiss had been. The kiss. Which had pretty much been all she’d thought about for the past couple of days. That, and the fact that her ex-husband had been conspicuously absent. She’d expected him to turn up on her doorstep every day so they could rehash the same old argument about her returning to the ranch. However, to his credit, he’d kept his promise and had merely responded to her text message about collecting her on Thursday for her doctor’s appointment. But rather than put her at ease, his lack of communication only amplified her anxiety and put her on edge.
“I can’t imagine Mitch taking a back seat, can you?” Annie asked.
Tess shrugged again. Her sister was right. As much as he appeared to be a relaxed and even-tempered cowboy, a man of the land who was happier in denim and a Stetson, there was an element of the pure alpha male about him. Perhaps because he’d been thrust into manhood at such an early age and had to take up the reins as the head of his family. But she suspected that there had always been something in charge about Mitch, even from infancy.
“No,” she admitted. “I can’t. I’m sure he’s trying to work out every angle he possibly can to get me to agree to move back into the ranch.”
“Well,” Annie said with a grin, “running that big house always did look good on you.”
Tess wasn’t about to disagree. She’d loved being on the Triple C. She’d adored the big kitchen and the wide staircase, and the large master bedroom suite with its view of the entire ranch. The bedroom she’d shared with her husband. Where they’d loved, laughed and lost. In the end, it was where she’d told him she was leaving, where she’d packed her bags and walked out from his life and their marriage. The memory made her shiver, and she wrapped her arms around herself, resting her hands on her belly.
“I have to get back to work,” Annie said as she grabbed her coat. “I promised Jasper I’d have his Halloween costume finished tonight and I have eight arachnid legs to stuff and sew.”
“Halloween is still a couple of weeks away,” she said. “Are getting in early with the costumes in case you do decide to leave?”
Annie grinned. “Jasper likes to be organized. Chances are he might change his mind and want to trick or treat as a storm trooper, so I may need to improvise.”
Tess smiled warmly, thinking how her sister was so generous and kind and how much she adored David McCall’s kids. Too bad the stupid man had all the awareness and sensitivity of a rock. Otherwise, he would realize what a treasure Annie was and stop treating her like an employee.
“I hope I’m half the mom that you are,” Tess said gently and hugged her sister. “I know you’re worried about me, but I promise I’m fine. Once I find a place to live and get settled, things will get back to normal and I won’t feel as though I’m living my life from one improvisation to the next.”
Annie hugged her in return, and once her sister left, Tess spent the remainder of the day doing a little light housework and reading. Early on Wednesday afternoon, she headed into Cedar River and dropped by the real estate office, hopeful she could check out a few more listings. There were several that interested her, and Leola showed her two possible places.
The first one was way too large, but the second place was better than expected. The house was a three-bedroom brick and tile, with a good-sized, fully fenced yard and an overgrown vegetable garden out the back. When they returned to the real estate office around two, the agent handed her a contract and Tess said she’d think about it overnight.
Since she’d parked in an hour zone, Tess took a walk down Main Street and made her way into the boutique beside the beauty parlor. She tried a few things and settled on a new pair of maternity jeans and a knitted poncho she figured would fit over her expanding belly in the next few months. She impulsively added a cherry-red sweater that caught her eye, a trio of assorted pink scrunchies and a dark cashmere scarf. Once she’d paid the clerk and had her parcels, Tess left the shop and walked back into the street.
Unexpectedly she came face-to-face with her former brother-in-law Joss and his two daughters, eleven-year-old Sissy and eight-year-old Clare. The girls were shy at first, until Joss explained who she was, and how she was having a baby who would be their cousin. Then she was hugged, and Clare began tugging at her shopping bags enquiring about what was inside. Tess took out the scrunchies and handed one to each of the girls, and they both hugged her again.
Clare pulled on her father’s arm. “Can Tess come to my birthday party, Daddy?”
He grinned. “Of course,” he replied, and looked at Tess. “Saturday, twelve o’clock at the ranch. There’ll be cake and party games. David’s kids are coming, so your sister will probably be there, too, if that’s helpful.”
And Mitch will be there.
“I’d love to,” she said, and nodded toward a smiling Clare. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“No worries,” he said. “So, my brother said you were looking for a house?”
A seed of suspicion sprouted. “That’s right.”
“You know, the elderly lady a couple of doors down from us recently moved into a nursing home. She’s Mrs. B’s mother-in-law,” he added. “Well, anyhow, after old Mrs. Bailey left, I bought the house and was planning on leasing it out. If you’re interested I could—”
“Is this offer your brother’s idea?”
Joss, who was about as honest as the day was long, simply shrugged. “We thought it would—”
“We?” she asked, cutting him off.
“He’s just trying to—”
“I know exactly what he’s trying to do. Control everything, as usual,” she said, her quiet tone defying the irritation coursing through her blood. “I’ll see you Saturday.” She gave the girls another quick hug before she headed to her car. Once she was back at the Annie’s, Tess unloaded her parcels, stomped around the house for half an hour and then grabbed her bag and car keys and headed straight for the Triple C.
* * *
Mitch was hauling bales of hay with one of the ranch hands when he spotted Tess striding through the feed shed, arms crossed, her mouth set in a tight line. Still, in dark jeans, glittery flats, a red smock and woolen coat, she looked so beautiful that his heart felt as though it literally skipped a beat. Her blond hair was down, and her cheeks were flushed, as though she’d been working herself up into a kind of temper tantrum.
Joss had called him, of course, and explained how his idea of offering Tess the house had been received like a lead weight. It didn’t look as though her mood had improved in the hour and a half since his brother’s call.
“Ah, Roy,” he said to the young ranch hand. “Take a break, will you?”
The younger man noticed Tess and quickly dropped the hay and made his way out through the side door. Mitch remained where he was, about ten feet up, standing on a stack of bales.
“I want to talk to you,” she said, her chest heaving. “Now.”
Mitch jumped down and met her in the center of the shed. “What’s up?”
“I’m not going to live next door to your brother so that you can get him to keep an eye on me,” she said quickly. “If that’s what you were thinking.”
He shrugged. “It’s a nice house on a nice street. And actually, it’s not next door. It’s a couple of houses away. I think your old friend
Lucy Monero lives next door. Isn’t she part of the reason you want to have the baby at the community hospital, since she’s a doctor on staff there? She married Brant Parker a couple of years ago. I think they’ve got a toddler, although I’m not sure if it’s a boy or a girl. Does knowing that make you less suspicious of my motives?”
She frowned. “I thought... I thought...”
“The worst of me,” he said quietly. “As usual.”
She harrumphed. “Joss made the offer and I assumed you—”
“Were trying to be the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-controlling pain-in-the-neck who wants to tell you what to do. I get it. You’re still angry with me and you don’t trust me. I can read you, Tess. I know you’re doing your utmost to hang on to your resentment. Well, it goes both ways. I’ve got a fair bit of resentment myself for the way you walked out on me and on us four years ago. But I’m trying to get past it for the sake of our child.”
It was a nice speech. One aimed directly at the core of the problems between them.
She resented him. He resented her. The problem was that it had taken Mitch about twenty-four hours of her being back in Cedar River to realize that despite everything, he still had feelings for her, and it was very clear that Tess had moved on from loving him a long time ago. Which of course made him resent her even more, because knowing it battered his pride and made him also feel like the biggest fool of all time.
“Okay,” she said after a moment, her expression softening a little. “I’ll look at the house.”
“I think that’s the most sensible thing you’ve said since Friday.”
She smiled humorlessly. “Do you do that simply to make me crazy, or what?”
“Probably. We can look at the place tomorrow, on the way back from the doctor’s appointment.”
“And if I said I don’t need you to accompany me, would it make any difference?”
“I know where Joss keeps the spare key,” he said. “Now, what time tomorrow?”
She muttered something about nine thirty in the morning, giving them time to make the appointment and allow for any delays, and then turned on her heels and left. Mitch stayed where he was for a while, propped against a hay bale, trying to make sense of what had happened to his life in the past five days. He’d deliberately left her alone since Saturday sensing she needed space and knowing she would wrap a cloak of resistance around herself if he pushed the issue about moving back to the ranch. Small steps were what he needed. Mitch pushed himself off the hay bale, stretched out his shoulders and got back to work, figuring it was what he needed to keep his mind clear.
He slept poorly that night and woke up around seven with a crick in his neck. He showered, changed and ate the toast Mrs. B passed him when he entered the kitchen for coffee. He had an eight-o’clock meeting with Wes and Ellie and left for the McCall ranch at ten past nine. Tess was waiting out in front of Annie’s small house when he arrived and he got out quickly to open the passenger door. He didn’t say she looked nice, even though she did, because he figured she wouldn’t welcome his compliments.
She said hello and that was all, and they were through the front gates before she spoke again, giving him the address of the obstetrician in Rapid City.
“Will this be your last ultrasound before the baby’s born?” Mitch asked as they headed onto the road.
“Probably not,” she replied. “Since I’m considered high risk because of my history, my doctor in Sioux Falls wants to make sure everything is okay as I go from one trimester to the next. My blood pressure is monitored weekly and I make sure I report any changes.”
Mitch’s stomach tightened. “Changes?”
“Like spotting or cramping.”
“Have you experienced any of those things?” he asked quietly.
“Not so far,” she said, knowing exactly what he was asking without hearing the words. “Somehow, this time, I feel different. Stronger. It’s like I just know everything will be okay. That might sound foolish, but I can’t describe it any other way.”
It didn’t sound foolish. It sounded exactly like what he would expect her to feel. Long ago, when she’d endured loss, she’d grieved every miscarriage so profoundly he’d experienced an acute sense of helplessness that wounded him right to the soul. Every time she’d fallen pregnant, at first she was joyful, then hopeful, and then, once she realized the baby was unable to cling to her womb, she had possessed a look that had haunted him—a look of inconsolable anguish.
What she didn’t need, he realized, was stress of any kind.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped with the house thing,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I want you to be safe and figured that if you live a couple of doors down from my brother you’ll always have someone looking out for you. Stupidly macho, I know, but I can’t help it.”
“You mean, you can’t help who you are?” she suggested. “I get that, Mitch. I know you’ve spent your adult life being the glue that keeps your family together. And despite how it seems, I do appreciate your concern. But I have a hard time dealing with the way you’re overreaching, and I don’t like feeling smothered, okay? Look, I’m back because I want our child to have a relationship with you. Because I know you’ll be a good father to him.”
And that’s all.
“Is there someone else?” he asked, thinking about the possibility for the first time in any real sense.
“What?”
“Do you have someone, you know, a man you’re seeing or something, and is that why you won’t—”
“I see. The only reason I might be foolish enough to not come running back to you and the ranch is because I’m seeing someone?” she asked, cutting him off. “Really? Is your ego that healthy that you can’t imagine I might simply not be interested in picking up where we left off?”
“It occurred to me that you might have met someone,” he said, ignoring the dig about his inflated ego.
“No,” she said. “I told you already I’m single. And I’m not interested in meeting anyone.”
“But you might?” he asked, hating how the idea of her being with someone else, loving someone else, cut him through to the core. “And if he’s to be a stepdad to my child, then it involves us both.”
“If I do fall in love, you’ll be the first to know,” she assured him, and he noticed she was grinning a fraction, as though she was amused by his words. “By the way, I’ve been invited to Clare’s birthday party on Saturday. Is there anything I can do to help with the organizing?”
“Ask Ellie, she’s the party planner. Which reminds me, she’s badgering me about arranging a baby shower for you, so if you can let her know when and where she can start making plans, that would be great.”
They talked the remainder of the way about his sister and the Alvarez deal, and she asked questions about the ranch and nothing more was said about their relationship. Or lack thereof.
Rapid City was a busy town, and it took a few minutes to get a parking spot outside the suite of professional medical offices. But once they were inside and were greeted by reception, they were shown into an examination room within minutes and a nurse arrived to help Tess prepare for the test. They’d been through the process before, so Mitch knew he had little to do until the technician arrived. Tess lay on the bed, her belly modestly exposed, as the technician spread gel over her skin. Another woman came into the room and introduced herself as Dr. Huang, and soon the procedure was underway. Mitch sat by Tess’s shoulder, watching the monitor as the doctor ran the ultrasound across her stomach. It didn’t take long to see the shape of their child on the screen and he blinked back the heat burning behind his eyes as their baby’s image came to life. It was a profoundly intimate moment and one he would cherish for the remainder of his life.
Mitch didn’t realize he’d grasped Tess’s hand until he felt her fingers tighten around his. He glanced at her face and saw her eyes were glistening
with tears. And rightly so. It took all his strength to hold back his own.
“Well, everything looks fine,” the doctor assured them and smiled. “Would you like to know the baby’s sex?”
Tess looked at him and nodded. “Yes, I think it’s time we found out.”
Mitch’s throat burned and he nodded agreeably.
The doctor smiled at them in turn. “You have a son.”
He blinked again as Tess’s grip tightened and she let out a long and shuddering sigh. “Told you so,” she said softly, as tears fell across her cheeks.
Mitch reached out and gently wiped the moisture away with his thumb, thinking he’d never seen her look more beautiful than she did in that moment.
“He’s growing exactly how he should be,” the doctor said, “and with a very strong heartbeat. Would you like a photo to take with you today?”
Mitch nodded, his throat so tight he couldn’t speak.
It was Tess who said what he couldn’t. “That would be wonderful. Two copies please.”
Two copies. Because most couples would share the joy of their child together. Most couples weren’t so emotionally far apart. He hated how it made him feel...included in the moment, but excluded in their future.
The technician and doctor left the room, and Tess grabbed a handful of tissues from the table by the bed and began wiping the gel off her belly. Mitch made a move to help her and she stilled instantly, holding up her hand.
“I’ve got it,” she said, and grabbed some more tissues.
He watched as she struggled and then took the tissues from her hand. “You missed a spot,” he said, and wiped the gel away from her left hip. “Stop being so damned independent for a moment and let me help.”
She rolled her eyes and flopped her hands to her sides. “Fine. You don’t have to get so heated up about it. Go ahead.”
He cleaned her up as quickly as he could and tossed the tissues into the trash can by the door, trying to ignore the flicker of awareness rumbling through his system. “See, I touched you and the world didn’t end.”