“Please, Nick,” I gasped, pulling him upwards by the hair. “Take me now. I need you so much.”
He was on his feet and with a swoop had lifted me into the bath. Lying back in the bubbles, I watched him climb in, his magnificent cock defying gravity. I raised my knees for him to enter me, and as he lay on top of me and plunged himself inside, I clenched my legs around his back.
With each stroke, Nick touched parts of me that I never knew existed, and I spiralled towards heaven. At that moment all the worries and troubles of the last few weeks faded away, and there was just the two of us, locked together in our own world. Adam, Tara, Sarah, Don Gribben, they all faded into the background as Nick thrust slowly, then harder and faster, building up to a sweet crescendo. When the tremors started, there was no going back, and I felt my orgasm rising, as I clenched my pelvic muscles tight around Nick. He played with my breasts as my back arched and my body started to tremble, and I knew there were only a few more strokes until we would both explode. Our mouths were magnetized together, tongues locked and probing, when with one final thrust Nick sent us both over the edge into a blackness of bliss. The final release sent shudders through my body and I screamed with painful pleasure. At the sound, Nick let out a hard groan, and I felt him burst inside me. The two of us moaned in unison until the waves stopped.
I clung to Nick and our kiss was soft, lingering and sensuous, before he pulled back and started to gently wash my body with the soft, fluffy bubbles. The moment was perfect, and I knew the time was right to tell him.
“Nick?” I asked, trying to sound casual. “Have you ever thought about having children?”
Nick’s face clouded over, taken aback by what I’d asked out of the blue. “You mean with Sarah?” he replied. “Yes, of course we did.”
His eyes looked away, and were fixed on a spot behind my head.
“Just before the accident, we had decided to try, but now … ”
He shrugged, and snapped out of whatever memory had captured him. Looking back at me again, he forced a smile.
“Holly, this is really hard for me. I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Nick, I know it’s really hard for you. It’s really hard for me too, you know.”
“Really?” Nick looked surprised, indignant almost. “What do you mean, Holly?”
Uh-oh. This wasn’t how I’d planned on this conversation turning out.
“Well, okay Nick. This is how I feel. I moved my life to New York to be with you, and now I never see you. You’re always working, or at the hospital. Yes, I understand you have to see Sarah, and I get that, really I do. I just feel lonely and vulnerable. It’s like I’m not very important to you right now. There’s things I want to talk to you about, that I’m worried about, and I’m afraid that you won’t understand.”
“What do you mean, I won’t understand?” Nick was shaking his head in disbelief. “Holly, have you got any idea how needy you sound? You’re the one who didn’t want to live together. You’re the one who’s obsessed with getting promoted at work. You’re the one who went home in a bad mood because I was a little late last night. I’m trying my best to deal with this imperfect situation that we’re in and you’re acting like a spoilt princess. What else is it that you want me to do?”
I was taken aback by Nick’s reaction. His annoyance was clear, but he didn’t raise his voice or shout. It was worse than that, he just seemed so drained.
“Look Holly, please. Don’t spoil tonight, okay? It’s not that I have to see Sarah, I want to see her. Do you have any idea how guilty I feel? That I didn’t take her to the hospital sooner after the accident? That I didn’t insist she see a doctor, even though she seemed fine afterwards, back at the hotel? And when she collapsed later, it was too late. The swelling on her brain caused more damage than the initial injury. Maybe I could have saved her, Holly. So don’t say I don’t understand, because I do, Holly, only too well. Life’s not perfect, but be thankful for what you have because it can all disappear, just like that,” and Nick snapped his fingers in the air.
“No, Nick, you did everything you could, nobody could have known, you mustn’t think like that,” I reached out for his hand, trying to comfort him, but he shook me away.
Nick’s voice was quiet, his words shaky. “Sarah has no life ahead of her, Holly, and you have everything to live for. So please don’t whine and complain. If you didn’t mean anything to me, you wouldn’t be here right now, believe me. You mean more to me than you know.”
Nick got out of the bath, and reached for a towel. He tied it round his waist, and turned back to me. There were tears in his eyes.
“Nick, I’m sorry,” I pleaded, “That’s not what I meant. You’ve misunderstood.”
He shook his head. “Have I? I’m starting to think we don’t know each other at all, Holly.”
He handed me a towel and I stood to get out of the bath.
Just then the muffled buzzing of a cell phone echoed from amongst the clothes strewn in the corner of the room. Nick lifted his trousers from the floor and fished the phone out of one of the pockets.
“Nick Van Hoogen,” was his curt greeting, his eyes never leaving me as I stepped out of the bath.
He listened to the caller for a few seconds then pressed the screen. His face went pale. Bending down, he leaned one arm on the marble vanity unit for support.
“Nick, what’s happened?” I asked, alarmed.
“It’s Sarah,” he gasped. “She’s showing signs of responsiveness. I’ve got to go, Holly. Can you meet me there later, at the hospital?”
He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. “I’m sorry for arguing with you. Please don’t hate me.”
And then he was grabbing the rest of his clothes from the floor, frantically pulling them on. Even after he was gone, I stood there in disbelief, his taste still on my lips.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The news about Sarah had blindsided me. I didn’t even know where the hospital was. It was hardly appropriate for me to go there, I thought, but Nick had asked me, and I didn’t want to argue with him again. After being so close earlier, our wonderful lovemaking had been tarnished by the harsh exchange before he left.
I didn’t need reminding that we hardly know each other. But how could we cross the hurdles that come with any close relationship without talking about things properly?
Nick didn’t know I had a confession to make, so he wasn’t to blame for thinking my worries were minor. But I just didn’t know if I could ever compete with Sarah for his affection or for a true place in his heart.
All around the condo, were signs of their life together. Sarah’s graduation photo, with Don and her mother. Sarah and Nick on their wedding day. Sarah, throwing back her head in laughter on a boat.
The furnishings had a stylish woman’s touch. Sarah’s taste was pared back and sophisticated. Her apartment was everything I would have dreamed of for myself. Her husband was everything I would have dreamed of for myself. But I didn’t want her life, I wanted mine. And maybe, as I was just starting to consider, maybe my life wasn’t meant to include Nick.
I dressed in still damp clothes and lifted my briefcase from the hallway. As I passed Nick’s bedroom on my way to the lounge, I could see the door of the walk-in closet was open, Sarah’s clothes still hanging there.
Nick had sent me a text, with the address of the private hospital where Sarah was being cared for. Sitting on the squidgy cream leather sofa, I took out the brown envelope that had been delivered to me that morning, and emptied its contents onto the walnut and glass coffee table.
Photos. Me and Nick in London, that first day I met him. We were in the park, having lunch. The memory came back and hit me as if it was yesterday. My heart skipped a beat and my tummy flipped, remembering those mixed feelings of attraction and frustration for the man who changed my life one sunny Monday morning.
Me and Nick in the pub, that first Friday night. Me and Nick at the Tube station, our first kiss. Me and Tara getting
into a taxi. Me and Adam in our secret cafe. Me and Nick on the Millennium Bridge. Me coming out of a cinema. Me and Adam downing tequila shots. Adam coming out of my London flat. Me with my mum at the train station. Me and Nick at Heathrow airport. Me going into Cathwell’s New York. Me in a late night drugstore, taken last night. A snapshot history of the last 8 weeks of my life.
There was no note with the photos. No clues who they were from, but I had my suspicions.
Someone who had it in for me and seemingly knew what color knickers I was wearing every day of the week.
***
The private hospital was more like a hotel. It was warm and cosy, with dimmed lighting and soft music. I almost went back outside to check that I was at the right place, when I saw the plaque beside the inner door that matched the details in Nick’s text:
Vitality Private Medical Centre. Est. 1986
Pictures of dignitaries lined the walls. There was even one of a smiling President Reagan sitting in a hospital bed with Nancy at his side. It looked like Sarah was in good company.
Before I had even reached the desk, a middle-aged woman dressed in a business suit approached me.
“Holly Martin?” she whispered. I nodded.
“Mr. Van Hoogen is expecting you. Please, come with me.”
The woman ushered me into the elevator and we travelled in silence to the 11th floor. When the doors opened she waved me out. “End of the hall, last door on the right,” she trilled, disappearing behind the elevator doors as they closed.
The hallway wasn’t as plush as downstairs, and a medicinal smell permeated my nostrils. There was silence, no music up here. A man was standing with his back to me at the end of the hall. At the sound of my approach, he turned.
“Hello, Holly,” he smiled.
“Hello, Don,” I replied.
I stood, frozen, wondering where Nick was, and realizing that I was crazy to have come here.
“Please, sit,” said Don, and I followed his command, sitting in one of the wooden chairs lined up against the wall.
“Nick’s inside with Sarah and her mother.” He tipped his head towards the door opposite. “I understand that Nick invited you here, although I have to warn you, my wife is very upset that he did.”
“I’m sorry,” I replied. “Nick asked me to meet him here. If you prefer me to leave, I will.”
“Nonsense,” Don retorted. “Not yet. I wanted to speak to you anyway. Did you get my little present?”
The penny dropped.
“The photos? Why did you send those to me, Don? I don’t understand.”
“No?” sighed Don. “You didn’t think I’d let my daughter’s husband take off to London without checking up on him, did you?”
Don smiled again, but this time it was a hard, steely smile with a hint of menace.
“I know an awful lot about you, Holly. You and … ” he coughed, hand covering his mouth, “your friend.”
“Let me make myself clear,” he continued. “You’ve got your claws into my daughter’s husband, and I want that to stop. In fact, yes, I would very much like you to get out of here. As far away as possible. Just say your goodbyes to Nick and make yourself scarce. It would be better for everyone.”
Gulp. “Don, I’m sorry about your daughter, sir. Really I am. But I’m not trying to hurt anyone. Nick’s told me what happened, and he’s taken Sarah’s accident really badly. He’s just trying to move on, and I want to support him. I’m not a husband stealer, Don. I can’t control who I fall in love with.”
Don wiped his hand across his forehead, which was shiny with perspiration. His face relaxed as he viewed me with interest.
“I love my daughter. Holly. And so does Nick. And he’s in there right now, urging her to live, because she’s a fighter. She’s showing vital signs, Holly. Did he tell you that? When Sarah recovers, you’ll be cast out with the garbage. But go away now, and I will help you. So name your price, Holly, and just leave us in peace.”
I hoped that I sounded braver than I felt. “I think that’s up to Nick. If he wants me to get out of his life, I will. But with all due respect, Don, it’s nothing to do with you.”
“Wrong, Holly,” Don replied. “It’s everything to do with me. Nick owes me, big time. I made him what he is, and I can break him just as easily. But not when he’s family. You, on the other hand,” he raised his voice and pointed at me, “are quite another matter. You little slut.”
I cowered back. Gribben continued, lowering his voice. “I hear you’re very ambitious. Holly. It would be a great shame for such a promising career to end so soon, don’t you think? Before you’ve even got started. What a pity.” Gribben shook his head from side to side, tutting at the same time.
“But if you have any sense, young lady, you will let me help you. I have friends in high places. You name it, Holly, and I can open doors for you in any corporation you wish. But it will be far away from Nick Van Hoogen, I can guarantee you that,” he hissed.
I was frightened to argue with Gribben, who was getting angry, but I figured his options were limited in such a public place.
“And what if I refuse?” I asked.
“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll accept my offer, forget about Nick, and get on with your life back in London. Or else,” Gribben spat, “your career is over. I’ll make sure of that. Here, take this.”
He reached his hand in his pocket and handed me a USB memory stick.
“Just a little sneak preview Holly, of your own little home movie. I’m sure you can imagine how Nick and the rest of Cathwell’s will love seeing this when it goes viral on their network. You’re wild Holly, aren’t you, when you get going?” He licked his lips, looking me up and down.
My knees were quaking as I rose from the chair. There was a crack in the air as I slapped his cheek with all my might. My hand stung. He raised his hand to his face and touched the spot where I had struck him.
Without a word, he turned his back on me and walked the two steps across the hall to the medical room door. He opened it and disappeared inside.
For the second time tonight, I was left speechless. I sat for a few moments, then ventured over to the door. Looking through the small glass pane, I could see Don, with his arm around his wife, both standing at the foot of Sarah’s bed. I couldn’t see Sarah, because Nick, with his back to me, was leaning over, his face close to hers. He was holding her hand, and seemed to be whispering in her ear.
It pulled my heartstrings to be snooping on such a personal family event, a family that I didn’t belong to and that I was being accused of wrecking.
The sight of Nick, huddled over his wife, stayed with me as I walked back the way I’d come, my head held high.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The next night I sat for hours, waiting, until the intercom announced Nick’s arrival. I was expecting him, he’d called ahead. He’d been at the hospital with Sarah all day.
When I undid the chain and opened the door I could see it in his eyes, before he said anything. He took me in his arms and held me like he always did. But this time, I knew it was goodbye.
We stayed like that, so close, so needy, so still, until I could feel his shoulders shake and we both released our tears. I clung to him, and never wanted to let him go. I could feel his pain, salt on the rawness of my own wounds, and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him either. We needed to be strong, to help each other, to do the right thing. I’d missed my chance to do right by him before, but now I could redeem myself.
I finally prized myself away from Nick’s hold. I met his eyes and plucked up the courage to ask the question whose answer I dreaded. “Sarah?”
Nick’s expression was so pained that I couldn’t tell whether the news was good or bad. What was good news anyway? Good news for me was bad news for Sarah. Poor Nick, stuck in the middle.
Nick’s eyes were still wet. He didn’t reply, kissing me with a hard and urgent force. He pulled my robe apart and cupped my breast, with a roughness that I’
d never known from him before. His primal desire turned me on more than any foreplay.
I led him by the hand into the bedroom, where he pushed me back onto the bed. Reaching for his trousers I unbuckled the belt. His hands were already pulling down my loose pyjama pants and I helped him slip them off. He grabbed my arms, pinning them down by my sides, and was grinding on top of me.
Stopping only long enough to pull his pants and shorts down to his knees, he entered me with a grunt. I was so aroused I held my breath to try and last longer, but I was already close to the edge of no return.
My body was possessed with a fiery passion fed by lust, and I abandoned all propriety. We didn’t speak, just fucked like strangers. Experiencing the most uninhibited sex that I’ve ever had, my dream became reality. Except this time I knew the identity of the perpetrator.
Just when I was spent and thought there was no more, he took me again, gentler this time, and fed me another orgasm that brought my whole body alive yet filled me with intense sadness.
Afterwards, we lay in silence in the darkness. I didn’t push him away, and he didn’t leave.
Repeating the dreaded question, I whispered, “How’s Sarah?”
He held my hand, and in the dark Nick’s confessed his own confusion and fears, putting mine to shame.
“The doctors say that Sarah’s showing positive signs. But it doesn’t mean that she’s going to wake up. Or if she does, that she will ever fully recover. The change in her condition could just as easily be her body shutting down. I think she can hear my voice, you know? What if she knows I gave up on her?”
I stroked Nick’s arm while told me about his shattered dreams for a future with Sarah.
“You asked me about kids. I had promised Sarah on holiday that I would cut back at work and we would start trying for a family. That’s all she wanted, you know?”
Oh yes. I knew.
“She complained I worked too much and what was the point of being together if we couldn’t enjoy ourselves? I never knew there wouldn’t be enough time to make it up to her. And after she got sick I just threw myself into work more than ever. And then you came along, Holly, and it was like being given a second chance. But now … ”
Duplicity 2 (Duplicity New Adult Romance) Page 4