Duplicity 2 (Duplicity New Adult Romance)

by Knight, K. T.

  Okay, here it comes.

  “Stop, Nick, before you say anything else. I wanted to tell you something last night, something that I thought was really important about our future together.”

  “What is it, Holly? I cut you off, and I’m sorry, but I overreacted because what you said was true. Yes, I’ve been neglecting you, and yes I’ve been working too much, and no, it hasn’t been fair on you. Not at all. And I feel real bad because I don’t know if I can give you what you need, but I’m here now, and I want to hear what you have to say.”

  Tell him now and you’ll hurt him even more.

  I tried to make my voice sound as light as possible, even though it was killing me inside.

  “It doesn’t matter now Nick, because your duty is to your wife, not to me. And whatever happens with Sarah, I will respect your decision. And I’ll be okay, I promise. But for now … I don’t want to say anything to cause you any more guilt or heartache … ” My voice trailed off. The last few words were the hardest. “I don’t want to see you any more.”

  Nick sat up, and yanked me up by the shoulders. He pulled me right up to his face, so that his nose touched mine. “No more guilt, Holly? It’s too late for that. I’ve been looking for you my whole life, it’s just taken me till now to find you. I thought I knew love until I met you. I will stay with Sarah till her dying day, but you are my true love. How’s that for guilt, eh?”

  “Please go, Nick, “ I whispered. “Now.”

  Silent tears trickled down my cheeks as I watched him dress in silence, till the sound of his footsteps and slam of the door signalled the point of no return.

  ***

  I looked at the photos again, and picked one up. Me and Tara. I think it was the night she hooked up with Hairy Hal. We had such fun getting ready that night. What a laugh we used to have together. Even though she drove me mad with her mess, pinching my clothes, and not getting her life together.

  Not everyone’s as perfect as you, Holly.

  I missed her. And I felt a pain in my chest thinking about how I left things with her. I never went back to the flat after that night. Not because I didn’t want my things, and not because I hated her.

  There was another wrong I had to right. I had to speak to her, and explain, if she would let me.

  I dialled Tara’s cell phone, but she didn’t pick up. So much for that idea. It was still early evening in the UK, she wouldn’t have gone out yet. The message service kicked in and I smiled as I heard Tara’s voice saying, “If this is Alexander, you can fuck right off. Anyone else please leave a message. Ciao.”

  After the beep, I hesitated before speaking. “Hey Tara, it’s Hols. Listen, I feel really bad about what happened. I hope you’re okay. I just … I miss you, that’s all. Bye babe.”

  Tara’s text pinged back just as I was heading to the bedroom.

  Spare me the tears. Skype me in 5

  I went to find my laptop. No rest for the wicked.

  ***

  I felt a wave of joy as Tara’s face flashed up on the screen when she accepted my online call. Her expression was dour, and I could tell she was still pissed with me.

  I didn’t care, I was so pleased to see her.

  “Hey,” I said, “You’re looking amazing. I love your hair.”

  It was pink this week. Her foundation was pale as alabaster, with contoured cheeks and shocking pink lips.

  “Yeah, thanks,” Tara offered with a shrug. “Sorry, but you look shit babe.”

  “Yeah, thanks.” I did a half shrug too. “Um, this is awkward. Look, how are you anyway?”

  “Really, Holly? Really? How do you fucking think I am? I’m living out of a plastic bag. My job is shit, I’ve got no clean clothes, and I haven’t had sex since the weekend. Just the usual, really.”

  Tara gave me a rueful smile, and we both burst out laughing. She held a up glass of wine to the screen. “Chin chin. Cheers, babe. Are you having one?”

  “Nah, I’m off the booze. Long story.”

  “Ah, right. Boring. Jeez, I can’t believe you ran off squealing and left me, you bitch. How’s lover boy?”

  My face crumpled. “I chucked him.”

  Tara’s mouth fell open, aghast. “Fuck, that was quick. Shit, what are you going to do?”

  She took a slurp of wine. Before I could answer, she went on, “Well, so what anyway. You can always come back here. I forgive you for being such an asshole about Adam. He’s a tosser anyway.”

  Tara tweaked a strand of her hair. “Honestly, you have such crap taste in men.”

  “Hang on,” I said, flaring up. “I made a big mistake with Adam. I felt really bad about what happened. We were such good mates, and I led him on, yes, I know I did. But I never meant to hurt him. I thought it was all a game for him too. And if it wasn’t for Nick then things may have been different. But I cheated on Nick with Adam and now I can hardly look Nick in the eye. Never mind look at myself in the mirror. And now I’m … up the duff without a paddle with no clue who’s the daddy.”

  Tara was shaking her head at me and waving her hands at the screen. “Will you shut up?” she screamed. “What the fuck are you talking about? You think you had sex with Adam? No you bloody well didn’t!” She beamed me a triumphant smile.

  “Um, how would you know?” I pointed out. “You weren’t there.”

  “Right. And how do you know you had sex with him, Holly? Because after a few drinks you can never remember a thing. That night with me and Adam—he told me that nothing happened between you. That you were a drunken mess and you were all over him like a rash. You went to bed together and fooled around, sure. But for some reason he didn’t want to get raped by a crazy woman. He said you weren’t in your right mind and you told him you loved him but you kept going on about Nick. Adam just came round that night to get something he said he’d left in your room.”

  Ha! A webcam, by any chance?

  “Yeah, and he jumped into bed with you?”

  “So what, Holly? What’s the big deal? We were two consenting adults having sex. It’s not a crime. It meant nothing to me, and I don’t suppose it meant anything to him either. Because I haven’t seen him since. He didn’t cheat on you, neither of us did. You’re just looking for someone to blame.”

  I nodded. “I’m sorry, Tara. I was. But he was lying to you to get you into bed. I did shag him. He set me up. But it was my own fault for getting so out of it in the first place.”

  Tara rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly. You know it doesn’t take much to get me into bed, he didn’t have to lie. Anyway, set you up how?”

  “Like, sex tape, that’s how.”

  Tara threw her head back and shrieked. “Holy fuuuuuuck, are you kidding me? What the fuck is going on, Holly?”

  So I told her about Nick and all our troubles, and the pregnancy test, and Don, and the photos, and the USB stick he’d handed me tonight. There was enough footage of me pole dancing naked around the end of the bed, followed by Adam writhing on top of me, to leave me in no doubt of what happened next.

  When I’d finished, Tara said, “Right, so you haven’t seen all of the tape? So where is it?”

  “I need to get it off Gribben.”

  “Okay, and what about Nick, do you still love him?”

  “Of course I do, Tara, more than anything. But it’s impossible. If Nick sees the tape he’ll be devastated. And if it gets out at work … it’s too awful to think about. Honestly, I’d rather leave town and never have to face him again.”

  “Well don’t you think that’s unfair? He’s a big boy, Holly, stop treating him with cotton wool. You can’t make people’s decisions for them. Don’t you think he deserves to know the truth, about Adam, about the baby, everything?”

  “I’m trying to protect him, Tara!”

  “Well, you’re not,” said Tara. “You’re a bloody disgrace. Promise me you’ll tell him.”

  “It’s too late now,” I sighed.

  “It’s never too late. Now get some beauty sleep,
darling, cos you sure as hell need it. I’ve gotta go out now, so call me soon, okay? Bye honey.”

  Tara signed out with an air kiss, and the screen went black.

  CHAPTER NINE

  At work, there wasn’t much to pack up. My cardboard box was only half full. I’d requested a meeting with my Head of Department later on, when I would hand in my letter of resignation.

  I was booked on the red-eye flight for London that night, and I’d calculated having to leave Manhattan for JFK at 5PM. I still had a few things to do, plus it was safer to escape the confines of Cathwell’s for a few hours in case I happened to bump into Nick. The thought of seeing him again was too much to bear.

  The USB stick was in my pocket, along with the directions to Don Gribben’s office that I’d printed out in the office. I would tell him in person that he had won, that I wouldn’t be around to bother his family any longer. I didn’t want a penny from him, or a job, or a reference, or whatever else he was offering. There was only one thing I would ask for, and that was the tape. I would beg the bastard if necessary.

  Downstairs, I asked Donna at reception if she would mind booking my cab for the airport, and watch my luggage for me. It was the same small flight bag that I’d arrived in New York with, just two weeks previous. The designer clothes? I didn’t need them any more, and had dropped them off at a thrift store first thing.

  “Sure, no problem,” said Donna. “I’ll ask the concierge to leave it in the luggage room. And what about the box?” The pathetic little cardboard box was the last bastion of my failed corporate life.

  I smiled, lifted the box, and handed it to Donna.

  “It’s trash.”

  And in a heartbeat, I was free.

  ***

  Who should I meet as I was leaving the building, but Gavin Hains. Seeing me, he blocked my pathway, so I was forced to stop.

  “Well, if it isn’t Holly Martin,” he sneered. “I hear you’ve split up with Nick. What a surprise. Maybe you’d like to go out with a real man sometime?”

  Well, that was it.

  I imagined Tara, goading me on.

  “Fuck off, asshole,” I replied, pushing him aside.

  ***

  The doorman at Nick’s building remembered me.

  “Mr. Van Hoogen’s at the hospital, miss,” he said when I inquired. “He told me he won’t be back till late.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. That was perfect. I would be gone by then.

  “But I promise to give him the letter, miss.”

  “Thank you.”

  I pressed a twenty into his hand and hurried off.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Dear Nick,

  I owe you a huge apology. For running away. For not telling you everything before now, because I could never find the right time or the right words. But that’s no excuse. I should have told you at the start, before everything spiralled out of control.

  Before we left London, I made a mistake that will stay with me forever. I cheated on you, with my friend Adam. It wasn’t pre-meditated, and I don’t remember the details. I was drunk, but that’s no excuse either.

  I didn’t tell you because it didn’t mean anything. I was ashamed, and I thought there was no need for you to ever know. That you would never find out. I blamed Adam for what happened, and I didn’t take responsibility for my own actions. I know now that was wrong.

  But the truth has a way of catching up with us, and maybe that’s not a bad thing. I learned only a couple of days ago that I’m pregnant, and I don’t know who the father is. It could be you, or Adam. I’ve thought this through and if anything good can come of this situation, it’s that there’s a miracle growing inside me and it puts everything in perspective.

  I never planned to be a single parent or to start a family so young, I always thought that my career came first. I had no time for love, until I met you. I had no thought of babies, but now I can think of nothing more wonderful or important than the little life that’s growing inside me. That’s my priority now, to build a safe and happy life for my child. A child who is very much wanted and will be cherished and adored whoever their father turns out to be.

  Not that it matters now, but Don Gribben has been trying to blackmail me. He knows all about my deceit, and has a video of my night with Adam. But please believe me Nick, that I’m not leaving because of Don, I’m leaving because I think it’s the right thing to do, for all of us. I hope that Don won’t use the video against either of us, but that is out of my control.

  I have learned a lesson that I will never forget. A relationship built on lies can never survive. I don’t deserve your love. Sarah is a very lucky woman. I will always cherish the memories of our time together. My love for you was true.

  Please don’t come after me. After the baby is born, I will contact you to arrange a paternity test. I understand if you never want anything more to do with me, but I hope that time will heal old wounds.

  I wish you only the best of everything, always and forever.

  Yours,

  Holly x

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  I arrived unannounced at Gribben’s office. Big mistake.

  “I’m sorry, but Mr. Gribben is unavailable,” said his prim assistant. “He never sees anyone without an appointment. Would you like to come back next week?”

  I glanced at my watch. It had taken me longer than I thought to get across town from Nick’s place. I didn’t have much time to get back to the office.

  “Please,” I pleaded. “Can you tell him it’s Holly Martin? I’m sure he will see me. I have a plane to catch, and I think he will want to know.”

  “I’ll tell him,” said Miss Prim. “But he’s not here right now.”

  “Can I wait?” I asked. “Or can you call him for me? It’s really important. I can’t leave without seeing him.”

  She lifted the phone, and I heard her speak, telling Gribben I was here to see him.

  “Mr. Gribben won’t be back till later,” she announced, setting the phone down.

  “Fine, I’ll wait.”

  “Suit yourself,” she snapped.

  She watched me as I sat down and stared out the window. An adrenalin rush was the only thing that was getting me through today. I knew it would fade as soon as I got on the plane, and exhaustion would take over. I hadn’t even had a chance to call my parents yet.

  The seconds ticking by turned to minutes, until the clock on the wall told me that I could wait no longer. I scribbled a note to Gribben and left it with Miss Prim.

  Outside, I was overcome with a ravenous hunger. The little bun in my oven was screaming, “Feed me!” and I felt guilty for not having eaten properly for days.

  I noticed a hot dog vendor across the road, and hot dogs all of a sudden seemed like the most appealing food I could ever have wished for. In my excitement to get one, and at the same time trying to answer my ringing cell phone, I looked to the right before stepping off the sidewalk. That’s when I saw Gribben, but this time he didn’t save me.

  ***

  I watched the young woman rush onto the pavement at Fulton. Clutching her phone, she looked the wrong way before her mistake cost her dear.

  I screamed to her to stop but it was too late to avoid the path of the oncoming vehicle. The car approaching couldn’t stop in time. The bump of the initial impact was followed by the thud of her body as it landed.

  A crowd gathered around. Her eyes were open, like a rabbit caught in headlights. I met her gaze and saw myself, scared and alone.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Now I know why my mother told me always to wear nice underwear. And it wasn’t anything to do with getting laid. Speaking from experience, whether you get run over by a cab or get lucky when you least expect it, your underwear doesn’t matter. No guy cares if your bra and panties don’t match when all he wants to do is get them off as fast as possible. And in the accident situation, well let’s just say your undies are going to get all messed up anyway.

  Lying on the hospital
gurney, every time I closed my eyes all I could see was the slow motion replay of the accident, over and over again. This time I wasn’t the spectator, I was the star of the show.

  A sudden thump that swept me off my feet and threw me upwards, the bounce off the hood, and a weightlessness as I flew through the air before coming down to earth with a crash of splintered bones. The screech of brakes and the smell of burning rubber as the car on the other side of the road ground to a halt, inches before I was flattened.

  The cab driver, inconsolable, shouting to passers by to call 911. Me, lifting my head and smiling, saying “Don’t worry, it wasn’t your fault,” and seeing the concern in his eyes. And wondering if he would be the last person I ever saw. Not Nick, not my mum or dad. A look of kindness from a stranger who had mown me down in broad daylight because I was stupid enough to look the wrong way.

  I had flickered in and out of consciousness, aware of the sounds of sirens. Shouting voices. The pain of being moved. Every part of me ached, but mostly my head. The rest of the pain was disjointed, like the dots didn’t meet. Relief when it all went black. They said that was my body’s way of shutting off the pain.

  I didn’t know how long I’d been here, it seemed like an eternity. At last, a nurse approached with an orderly, who started pushing me along the hall. I winced as the trolley shook me about. The ride was bumpy and the wheels rattled.

  “We’re just going to take you somewhere private, Holly. Where you can rest in quiet,” explained the nurse.

  She pulled back a green curtain and helped the orderly move me onto the bed. Bolts of pain shot through me and I clenched my teeth, all of which had miraculously survived.

  “There, there dear. I know you’re sore, but it could have been much worse. Just a few broken bones. We’ll have you stuck back together in no time. The doctor will be along to see you soon.”