by Amy Cecil
What bloggers are saying about
Sainte
Knights of Silence MC – Book IV
by
Amy Cecil
The Knights have and always will stand up for family and the Brotherhood. Sainte is no different. Sainte and Honey bring out all the feels. Amy really brought it all to the table to end the series.
- Leave Me Be I’m Reading
This book rocked my world. Sainte and Honey are so perfect for each other. If you are in the mood for a wild ride take this book for a spin. Ms. Cecil, you have more than earned your five stars and I can’t wait to see what you write for us next because this was beyond brilliant.
- Alison Pridie Blog
I just don’t have words to say. Author Amy Cecil just blew my mind!! What an epilogue!! What a book, awesome, awesome, awesome!!
- Elaine and Tami’s JB3 Blackbirds
Sainte definitely fits his name and he fights for what he believes in and for what he wants. Amy Cecil had me gritting my teeth, ready to scream and crying all in the same book. What more could you ask for? That’s book perfection!
- A Little Book Love
The thing with writing a series is sometimes scenes and characters can become predictable to the readers, but Amy Cecil has a way of throwing you curve balls of unpredictability! I thought something was going to happen, and it turns out I was completely wrong. This is yet another well-written novel!
- Monica’s Maniacal Menagerie Book Blog
There were a lot of fun surprises that came up in Sainte that involved so many characters we’ve come to know and love throughout the series. Amy has done a wonderful job of giving us the ending that ticks so many boxes of what we’ve come to know and want for the characters throughout this journey. Well done!
- Rae’s Reading Lounge
Sainte – Knights of Silence MC Book 5 – Amy Cecil
Copyright © 2019 Amy Cecil
All rights reserved in accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. The scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the author constitutes unlawful piracy and theft of the author's intellectual property. If you would like to use materials from this book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the author.
FBI Anti-Piracy Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of a copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to five years in federal prison along with a fine of $250,000.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental or used in a fictitious manner. The author acknowledges that all song titles, film titles, film characters, and novels mentioned in this book are the property of and belong to their respective owners.
Any views expressed in this book are fictitious and not necessarily the views of the author.
Thank you for your support of the author's rights.
Book cover, layout and formatting design by Ellie Augsburger of Creative Digital Studios.
www.creativedigitalstudios.com
Editing Services provided by Angie Wade of Novel Nurse Editing. www.novelnurseeditng.com.
ISBN- 9781650431772
Suggested reading order in the
Knights of Silence MC Series:
Ice
Ice on Fire
Celtic Dragon
Forgetting the Enemy (Enemy Duet #1)
Raw Honey
Loving the Enemy (Enemy Duet #2)
Sainte
Novellas related to the above series
Ace of Hearts
Fatal Enemy
Dedication
This book is dedicated to the members of my reader group, Amy’s Amazing Street Girls. You ladies are amazing, and I am so blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you for all you do for me!
Author’s Note
Please be advised that this book contains subjects and graphic content that may be considered dark, taboo, and/or disturbing. If you are a reader who is sensitive to certain triggers involving drug abuse and addiction, then perhaps this may not be the book for you. You’ve been warned.
Prologue
Ice
It’s another waiting game at the hospital. I can’t stop pacing. He’s gotta fucking make it through this. It’s been over an hour since we arrived, and the waiting is killing me. I need answers. I need to know he’s gonna survive.
Several minutes later, Dr. Siegel comes into the waiting room. “We’re taking him into surgery now to remove the bullet. I’m sorry for the delay, but we had to stabilize the bleeding. He’s got some internal bleeding, and once I get inside, I can assess the damage.” He pauses and turns toward me. “I’m sorry, but he’s not out of the woods yet.”
“He’s gotta live. Whatever it takes. Please,” I plead.
“I’ll do my best,” he replies and turns to leave.
Two hours later, Dr. Siegel returns. By the look on his face, it’s not good news. “Hawk is out of surgery and is still holding his own for now. We were able to remove the bullet, and thankfully, it bypassed his heart. That’s the good news. Unfortunately, however, the bullet punctured a lung. He’s currently got a breathing tube and a machine to help him breathe.”
“The prognosis?” I ask.
“I’m gonna be honest with you. It’s not good. He’s lost a lot of blood and has been breathing with limited oxygen. We’ve given him a blood transfusion, and we’re hoping he won’t need any more. The breathing machine is helping him breathe with full oxygen. The next forty-eight hours are critical. If he survives and can breathe on his own, then his chances are good, keeping in mind the healing process afterward is gonna be long and uncomfortable for him. I’m sorry, but it’s all I can give you right now. We’ll just have to wait and see and pray he gets through the next couple of days.”
Guilt consumes me, and I can’t hold back my thoughts any longer. “That should be me fucking lying in that bed, not him!”
Rebel steps up and grabs my arm. “No, it shouldn’t. Get a hold of yourself. He did what any of us would have done in a similar situation. He did what you would’ve done. Don’t start this shit. He needs you right now to be strong for him. Hell, he fucking needs all of us.” He waits for me to calm down a bit.
I look at him. If Hawk dies, he will be my next VP. He’s strong and is already stepping up.
“If anyone can get through this, it’s Hawk. You gotta have faith, man.”
“Fuck! I feel like shit!”
“I know, but we can’t change what’s happened. We just have to deal with it.” Rebel pulls out his phone. “Do you want me to call the girls?” I rake my hand through my hair.
“Yeah, they need to know.”
“What if they want to come back to New York?”
“As much as I don’t want them here, we can’t keep them away. Emma would have my head, and Honey—oh fuck, Honey.” I rub at my temples to help ease my growing migraine. “Get them here as fast as you can. Have Sainte drive them.”
“No,” Michael says, interrupting. I totally forgot he’s still here. “You don’t want them to wait the eight-hour drive to get here. They can use the jet. Just give me a time, and I’ll make sure it’s at the airport and ready to pick them up.”
Relief washes over me. Maybe with Michael’s jet, the girls will arrive in time. “Thanks, Michael.” In time… how much time does he have? Reality finally settles in the pit of my stomach. We’re on borrowed time, an
d there’s a good chance we’re gonna lose Hawk. Fuck!
Rebel walks away, his phone in hand ready to make the call.
I turn back toward Dr. Siegel. “Is he awake?”
“No, he’s still out. It’ll be a while before he wakes up. Keep in mind his body has suffered a major trauma. He may not wake up even after the anesthesia wears off. It’s nothing to be alarmed about at first. It’s just his body’s way of preserving what it needs to help him heal. Just be patient, son.” He pats my back.
“Patience is something I don’t have, Doc. I gotta see him.”
“You’ll be able to see him tomorrow. Right now, he needs rest.” Dr. Siegel turns to leave but turns back. “You boys should go back to the Vitalis’, get some rest, and hopefully you’ll be able to see him first thing in the morning.”
I shake my head and whisper under my breath, “I can’t fucking believe this.”
“Doc, just let him see him for a minute. He needs to see him,” Michael says encouragingly.
“Michael, I really shouldn’t.”
“Doc, please?” Michael asks.
Reluctantly, Dr. Siegel agrees. “Fine, but just a minute. Then you need to promise to let him rest.”
I nod.
Dr. Siegel waves me on and says, “Come with me.”
I follow as Rebel comes back.
“Well, Michael, you better get that jet ready. The girls wanna come back, just need to know when they need to be at the airport,” I hear Rebel say as Dr. Siegel and I walk away toward Hawk’s room.
I get to Hawk’s room, and as Dr. Siegel indicated, he’s asleep. He has all these tubes and monitors around him, and they all seem to be beeping at different intervals. He looks so weak and pale. I should be in that bed, not him! I walk to the bed and touch his hand. “You need to fight this, brother. You need to fight harder than you’ve ever fought before,” I say aloud, praying maybe he can hear me. “I can’t do this without you.”
A few minutes go by, and I return to the waiting room.
“Did you see him?” Michael asks.
“Yeah, he looks like shit.”
Michael chuckles. “Well hell, Ice, he’s been shot. What did you expect?”
“I know. I just fucking hate seeing him like this. He’s always been the strong one, the one I could always count on. I feel so fucking helpless.”
“I know. The only thing you can do now is to be strong for him and have faith.” He pauses then says, “By the way, Rebel and Ricco are working together, along with my pilot, to get your girls here. I’m guessing, as long as we get landing clearance from the airport, they will be here in the morning.”
“Thank you.” After the dust settles, I will owe Michael big time for all he has done.
“We got you.”
I hope he knows how grateful I am to him.
Rebel and Ricco return. “Everything is set. The girls should be here around eight a.m. tomorrow morning. I’ve also arranged for Gio to pick them up at the airport,” Ricco says.
“Good. Now let’s get these boys home. Hawk needs his rest, and so do you,” Michael says and pats me on the back. “He’s in good hands.”
I know he’s trying to reassure me, but it’s not working. I look back toward Hawk’s room for a moment and then reluctantly take Michael’s advice and leave.
The next morning, my boys and I head to the hospital as soon as we’re up and ready. The girls arrive around nine thirty, and they haven’t stopped crying. It’s making my head hurt. I’m so proud of Rebel and Spike. They are trying to be strong for everyone, including me. Dr. Siegel informed us as soon as we got here that they have been having an issue with Hawk’s blood pressure. It keeps dropping, and they can’t get it to stabilize. If they can’t get it under control, the prognosis goes from bad to worse. They’ve given him medication, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
The nurse steps out. “Caden?”
I look at her and acknowledge her.
“Are you Caden?”
I nod.
“He’s asking for you.” She turns, and I follow. As we walk toward his room, she stops and says, “He’s been in and out of consciousness all morning.” She stops and touches my arm. “So don’t be alarmed if he fades in and out on you. For now, it’s normal. He’s on a lot of pain meds.”
I nod.
We get to his door, and I step in when she opens it long enough for me to slip in. He looks so weak and pale lying in that bed. I am so pissed at him for stepping in front of a bullet that was meant for me. And before I think, my words come pouring out. “Why did you do it? Why did you have to step in front of that bullet? I know you thought you were doing the right thing.”
I don’t give him a chance to say anything, so he just looks at me as he always does when he’s waiting for me to get shit off my chest.
“I know you think your priority is to save a fellow brother, and frankly, I would have done the same thing. But I’m so fucking pissed at you right now.” I turn away from him. I can’t believe I am in a hospital in New York—fuck, I don’t even know the name—watching my VP and the best damn friend I’ve ever had fight for his life. He’s always been there for me, including taking my fucking bullet.
And then, instead of arguing with me, he says the one thing I don’t expect nor do I want to hear. “It’s my time, Caden,” he whispers. He called me Caden. This is bad. This is so damned bad. We’re losing him. He’s given up. Well, I got news for him; I refuse.
“You’re not giving up. I won’t let you!”
He doesn’t say anything, just listens.
“It’s not your fucking time! Fight this, Hawk, like you’ve fought everything else.” When I realize nothing I say is gonna change the outcome, I say, defeated, “What the fuck are we gonna do without you?”
“I’ve watched you grow with this club for years. You’re a born leader. Your father would be so fucking proud of you, just like I am.”
“Don’t you fucking say good-bye! You’re not fucking going anywhere, Hawk. Fight this, dammit.”
“Caden, listen to me, please. You have to accept this. The sooner you do, the easier it will be on the rest of the club and the girls. They will look to you for support and guidance. More so than they do now.”
I rake my fingers through my hair. “This is so fucked up. I refuse to accept that this is the way it has to be. I need you, man.” I grab his hand. “We’ve got plans for this club. We were gonna do this together.”
“I know, but it’s my time.” He takes a labored breath. “Now, I need you to do some things for me.”
Clarity washes over me as I realize I’m no longer in control. Hawk is gonna die, and there’s not a fucking thing I can do to stop it. Ever since I chose the MC life, I’ve always been in control, except for one time. Ace. It’s happening now all over again, and I’m not handling it any better than I did then.
“Anything.” I sigh in frustration. I have no choice, and it will be better for him if I calm down and do what he asks. I shouldn’t be upsetting him, and more importantly, he needs to know I am on his side. The best thing I can do for him now is give him what he wants and accept this.
“First of all, I need to speak to Honey. Can you have her come in when we’re done? I really wanted things to work out for us, but I couldn’t get past her obsession with you and Sainte.”
“Sainte?” Did I miss something? Have I been so wrapped up in this Vitali shit that I missed him moving in on my VP’s old lady? And why me? I thought that was ancient history. Is she really still hung up on me? I’ll be sure to nip that in the bud as soon as we get back.
“You’ll find out soon enough. And it’s not what you are thinking. Believe me, I don’t hold it against either of you. It was all her. She was torn with her feelings from when she was with you and the growing feelings she is having for Sainte. She stuck with me ’cause I was safe. She needs direction, Ice, and I believe Sainte is the man to give it to her.”
“Okay, I get it. I’ll do what I can to help
her along. What else?”
“You raise that baby right. You’re gonna have a strong healthy boy, Caden, and he’s gonna have your strength and his mother’s tenacity.”
“How do you know it’s gonna be a boy?” I ask. Hawk always thought he had at sixth sense about things.
He looks up as if he is looking into the heavens. “I know these things.” He adjusts himself on the bed and lets out a soft groan. I barely hear it over the subtle beeps of the monitors. “Keep moving the club in the direction you’re going. The illegal shit has to stop. You’re on the right track, just don’t get sidetracked.”
“You’ve always known that was my plan, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll stay focused. I promise.” Fuck, it was our plan, but something always got in the way. We would move forward a step and then get pulled back two. From now on, it’s gonna be this club’s number one priority, which is a promise I can definitely keep.
He takes a deep breath. He’s struggling more now. “I don’t know how much longer I’ve got. Can you get Honey? Gotta get this shit over with.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” I get up and walk toward the door. I feel as though this is the last time I will ever talk to Hawk, and part of me doesn’t want to leave his side. But he’s counting on me. He has things he needs to say, and I’m not the only one he needs to say good-bye to. This club loves him, and fuck we’re all gonna be broken for a while when he goes.
I step out into the doorway, and Michael is standing there. “Hey,” I say.
“I’m really sorry, man.” He puts his hand on my shoulder.
“I know. It’s part of the life, but it fucking sucks. We all know it, and we all understand it, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow when it happens.”