by K. Darblyne
"Yeah, a few hours," she leaned against the couch to take off her shoes. "But not very comfortable, to say the least. I fell asleep in the doctor’s lounge in the O.R." Her hand rubbed at her back to ease the soreness. "I think I’m just going to take a hot bath and go to bed."
The petite woman could not believe how tired her Amazon looked. "You want something to eat?"
"Thanks, but no, I ate at the hospital. I just need to relax and get a lot of sleep."
"Well, let me start your bath for you." Danni went into the bathroom and turned on the water for the tub. Emerging from the doorway, she came back into the living room. "How about I fix you a nice cup of tea. Hmmm?"
Garrett nodded and muttered the word, "Thanks," as Danni passed by on her way to the kitchen, her energy waning.
Calling in from the kitchen, Danni asked, "Did they find any family for that young trauma patient yet?"
Garrett waited for her return, too tired to yell back. "Yeah, turns out the only family so far is his sister." She looked up at her roommate. "She’s only seventeen."
"Oh, by the gods!" She sat down on the couch. "She must be devastated."
"She’s doing better than some that I have seen. Tomorrow’s going to be the hard one."
Danni looked puzzled.
"I ordered the brain death protocol. We’ll know for sure by noon tomorrow." The surgeon rolled her tongue across her teeth; "I told her that I would be there with her tomorrow when it’s time."
The blonde sighed. "I wish I could have been there with you today. I know how much you like doing the sensitive chats."
"Yeah, well..."
"Garrett, I’m off for the next two days. Let me be there with you tomorrow?"
"Thanks, but you don’t have to, Danni." The surgeon rose to her feet. "I better get that bath before I fall asleep right here." She thought about the offer as she walked to the bathroom. Pausing at the door, she said. "Maybe that might not be a bad idea. I’ll see you about noon tomorrow in the Neuro-ICU."
After the time spent soothing her tired muscles with the heat of the water, the tall woman stole herself quietly into her bedroom. There on the corner of her nightstand was a cup of hot tea. ‘I’ll have to remember to thank her for this. It’s nice to have someone who cares,’ she mused. Letting her robe fall off of her body into a heap on the floor, she slid under the covers that had been neatly turned down for her. Taking a few sips of tea from the cup, she placed it back on the table and readied herself for sleep.
*****************
She had always prided herself on keeping her word and now as she mulled over the events of the last two days, the surgeon was not looking forward to what was about to take place within the next hour or so. It was her day off technically, but she had promised to be here with Brad’s sister Diana when the time came. Sure, she could have put it off for another day, but somehow that just didn’t seem right, to make the poor girl agonize over the potential outcome of the tests. Besides, she didn’t want to add to the young girl’s burden by causing any hassles over the payment of the hospitalization by the insurance company.
Garrett sipped at her cup of black coffee as she was looking over the reports of the tests that she had ordered on Bradley Morgan. The EEG test, which measured the activity of the brain, was plain and to the point; no activity found. The other test reports were all in alignment with the neurosurgeon’s prognosis at the sight of the initial CT Scan. Now it was going to be her job to help Diana grasp the concept that her brother didn’t really inhabit the body that was being kept alive in the ICU. There really was no life force present, only the mechanical initiative that preserved the body in its vegetative state.
The surgeon rested her head in her hands as she contemplated the course of changes that the life of Diana Morgan was going to encounter. She sighed knowing full well that this was not the way her parents would have wished for her life to be. Unfortunately, there was nothing Garrett could do about it except to give the support and guidance that she would need in the next few hours. The surgeon felt absolutely helpless at the outcome of her efforts.
The small windowless office seemed to be closing in on her as she raised her head out of her hands and looked around. She had been so preoccupied with her thoughts that she had not heard the knock at the door. The motion of the door slowly opening and the appearance of the blonde hair brought her back to reality.
Knocking again on the open door, Danni peered in at the woman seated behind the desk. "Hey," she smiled, "mind if I come in?"
The answer was evident by the lopsided smile on the surgeon’s face at the sight of her friend. "Yeah, I was hoping that you’d be a little early."
The petite woman slipped in the door as she studied the room. "I guess you don’t spend too much time in here." The nurse knew how claustrophobic the tall woman could be at times.
Garrett chuckled slightly, "Every free minute that I get." She was being sarcastic with her reply. "Have a seat." She motioned to the small chair that was behind the door. She waited for the door to close all the way. Gathering the papers that were spread out across her desk into a neat pile, she offered them to the nurse. "Care to read the results?"
"By the look on your face when I stuck my head in, I don’t think that I have to." Danni shifted her position in the chair. "Did you tell his sister yet?"
"No, I just got done reviewing them myself." She placed the stack of reports on the desk. "Danni," she hesitated biting her lower lip. "I’d appreciate it if you would help me with this one."
The nurse sensed the apprehension in Garrett’s voice. Something about this case was really bothering her but Danni knew enough about her friend not to push for answers. "Sure, anything that I can do to help, just let me know." She watched as the tense look on the surgeon’s face relaxed.
"Thanks, I really want to be as gentle and considerate as I can on this one. She’s got a lot on her plate right now and being so young." She took a deep breath, "Well, it could affect her for the rest of her life. I don’t want to let her feel any remorse about what has to be done. She doesn’t need to be haunted with this tragedy any more than she is already." Garrett closed her eyes at the thought, a pained look over taking her face.
Danni felt compelled to reach out to her friend. She was certain that this was affecting the surgeon more than usual. She knew that Garrett was not one for talking about herself or her childhood, and now seeing this, she was sure that there was a reason why. She let her hand gently rest on the edge of the desk with her fingers flexing. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Crystal blue eyes shot to attention as her lids opened wide then slowly narrowed settling on Danni. "There’s nothing to talk about," she snapped.
Her face had taken on a new hard look to her usually pleasant features.
Sensing that she had touched on an exposed nerve, Danni backed off.
"Sorry, I only meant to help," she apologized. "If you ever…" her voice trailed off abruptly with the intense look that she was receiving from her friend.
The surgeon cleared her throat trying to choke back the cry that was readying to escape from her. She let her gaze drift away from her friend to hide the well of tears that were threatening to overflow. Having successfully reigned in her emotions she pushed herself away from the desk and stood up. "Let’s get this over with," her face expressing no emotions as she rounded the corner of the desk, advancing toward the door.
Danni watched in amazement as she witnessed the surgeon fighting back her emotional turmoil and reinstating her mask of professional facade. This sight saddened the young woman’s heart. Her friend was hurting and she could do nothing but be ready for the time when Garrett would allow her into that secret place where her tortured soul dwelled.
The nurse followed her friend, reluctantly, out of the office. Pausing as she closed the door, she offered up a silent prayer. ‘She’s hurting so badly. Please, if there is any god that ameliorates the healers, let me act as your instrument to help her soul find peace with
in herself.’ Sighing deeply, she turned and followed the surgeon to the Neuro-ICU area.
******************
A young girl peered out of the safety window in the door of the family room. Her sullen eyes reflecting the scene before them. "Mom," she whispered to the woman who had just joined her there. "I don’t think it’s good news." She looked up to her mother for support.
Mrs. Gryphon observed the three women in the hall. She recognized Alexia and Dr. Trivoli from the day before. The third woman was new to her. She watched the grim looks that each one had on their faces and prepared for the worse. Resting her arm around her daughter’s shoulders, she glanced over at Diana sitting on the couch with her head buried in her hands. Sniffing back a tear, she squeezed Kristen and whispered gently in her ear, "I love you." The young girl smiled up at her and nodded. "We have to be strong for Diana now. Can you do that?" She nodded again then went to sit beside her friend.
Moving away from the door, Marianne took up a position nearer to the two young girls and waited for the trio to enter the room.
A few moments later the door opened with Alex leading the procession of sober faced professionals. Diana’s head raised out of her hands when she heard the sound of heels walking across the polished tile floor. The hopeful eyes of the young girl searched the faces as each one entered the room for the answer to the question ripping at her heart. Her mood went spiraling out of control as the petite blonde stepped in, closing the door behind her. Tears were streaking down her cheeks as Alexia greeted them. All her mind could think about was her brother and how he had been so full of life the last time she saw him outside of the hospital. Her eyes grew large as she picked out the tall surgeon and stared directly into her crystal orbs. The girl shivered seeing eyes staring back at her that were devoid of any emotions. Before any one had even spoken to her, Diana knew what was about to happen. Her hopes and dreams of the future were about to change for the rest of her life, for the second time in the last two days.
Garrett cleared her throat and began to slowly approach the young girl. "Diana," she paused motioning the petite nurse to come forward. "Let me introduce one of our trauma nurses to you. This is Danni, she was Brad’s nurse when he first arrived here the night before last." The surgeon’s eyes were gauging her response to the nurse. "Danni, this is Diana Morgan, Brad’s sister and her friend Kristen and Kristen’s mother Marianne Gryphon." She pointed to them as they were introduced.
The nurse used all of her skills as she came forward to greet the young girl. She brought herself to rest on the couch next to her and spoke in a soft, quiet manner. "I hope you don’t mind, Diana, but I asked my friend, Dr. Trivoli, if I could meet you today." She waited for a response but the young girl’s eyes were blanks. Danni looked around the room to the mother and her daughter, each one with only true concern written on their faces. The nurse tried a slightly different approach this time. "You know, little brothers can be a challenge to their older sisters, but deep within our hearts we love them dearly. When I was growing up, my brother was always teasing me and…"
The girl suddenly focused on the nurse sitting next to her. "You have a little brother too?" Her eyes were now coming to life as a common ground was found, linking the two women together.
"Yes," her warm smile bridging the space between them. "I know you love your brother just like I do mine, and that you only want the best of everything for him." She gently laid her hand on top of the arm. "That’s why I would like you to listen to what Dr. Trivoli has to tell you. Okay?"
Diana sniffed as she wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. She blinked several times trying to contain the tears that were waiting for release and nodded in affirmation. Her attention now turned to the tall figure in front of her.
"We’ve gotten the results from the tests back." Garrett paused as she looked at the nurse for support. "They proved what we had speculated about the night he came in." Her eye caught Kristen glancing at her mother in anticipation. "I’ve studied the reports and have spoken with several colleagues of mine in reference to Brad’s prognosis. I’m sorry to say but there is no evidence of a recovery at this point in time. His body is not able to function on it’s own without the assistance of the machines. I was hoping that there would be some small chance, but I can’t even give you any glimmer of hope that he will ever be anything more than what you see in that bed today."
The young girl bit down on her lip. She looked over to Kristen and then slowly lifted her gaze to Mrs. Gryphon. "What…" she stuttered. "What happens now?" She turned to the nurse beside her, pleading for guidance. "How do I take care of my brother now?" A large tear found its way over her cheek as her hand reached out to grasp the hand of the nurse.
"You have to think of what is best for your brother now. How he would like his life to be." She held on to the girl’s hand, letting the compassion show in her face. Studying her face intently, "Would your brother have enjoyed his life like it is now?"
Her gaze drifted to the floor, as she answered shakily, "No." Then without warning her body stiffened and she rose abruptly. "But he’s my brother, damn it!" Her head turned quickly as she looked at the people around her, "I can’t just kill…" her voice trail off into a whisper, "him."
"Nobody is asking you to kill him, dear." Mrs. Gryphon spoke up.
Kristen tried helping, "You know that’s not really Brad in there."
Danni drew her attention back by touching the young girl’s arm. "They’re right, Diana. Your brother’s life force," she paused searching for a better explanation of it, "the essence that makes Brad different from anybody else just isn’t there any longer. All that you see is his body, the shell that housed his soul and gave direction to the energy that he was." Danni gazed into the young girl’s eyes and then slowly directed her to look over to the surgeon.
Sensing that it was her time to speak, Garrett started. "We just need to let his body go, Diana."
"But how…who?" Diana’s eyes grew bigger as her mind raced with the possibilities. "You don’t expect me to…" her eyes now darted around the room, the tears welling up and starting to fall. "You’re asking too much. I couldn’t…"
"Me," fighting a break in her voice not to be heard. "I’ll be the one to turn the machines off." The surgeon reassured her.
The girl thought about it for a moment. Looking to her friend’s mother for approval, she slowly nodded her head in agreement. Garrett closed her eyes and sighed. The decision was made. Now all she had to do was carry out the task.
"Would you like to see him before…?" Danni waited for her answer. The girl only shrugged her shoulders, and then thinking on it, shook her head. "That’s all right, Diana. If it were my brother, I think I would want to remember him at his happiest moment, full of life and loving everything in it. What did your brother love to do best?"
The girl thought for only a second. "It would be riding his bicycle. His racing helmet on and streaking across the top of the hill at the end of our street, the late afternoon sun at his back, that’s how I’ll remember him." A faint smile played upon her lips at the thought.
"Then that is the way you will see him. Remember him like that and you will never be far from his spirit." Danni instinctively meet the azure eyes of the surgeon and felt that her words had helped more than just Diana.
The subdued voice of the nurse seemed to wrap itself around Garrett’s soul. The silences of the moment allowed a fleeting glimpse of a tasseled haired boy come to Garrett’s mind. His youthful features covered with a smattering of sweat and dirt as he laughed holding up his prize catch, a rainbow trout.
The nurse watched as a serene look came over the face of the surgeon. She wasn’t sure what her friend was thinking about, but at least what she had said was helping her cope with the situation at hand, if not what she held in her past.
Alex breathed a sigh of relief knowing that the hard part, if only for her, was over. She had feared the worst out of the young girl who was being dealt a hard slap in the fa
ce by reality. The intense emotional scene that she expected had been averted by the combined effort of Danni and Garrett. For this she was truly grateful.
Diana walked over to Mrs. Gryphon. "I’d like to leave now." Her voice was even and unwavering.
The woman gathered both girls into her arms and hugged them equally. Looking back to the medical professionals she mouthed the words, "Thank You." She watched as each one accepted her appreciation. "Come on, let’s go home." With that, the small group made their way to the door and out of the hospital.
Danni sidled up to the tall surgeon who seemed to still be absorbed by her thoughts. She watched the expression on her friend change to one of confused questioning, as the surgeon became aware of her. "Ah…I’d like to be with you when you take him off." Her green eyes locked onto the blue orbs in a knowing plea to allow her to share this last service to her patient.
Garrett acquiesced. There was something about the petite nurse that made her feel better about the whole situation. Rubbing her chin in thought, she nodded. "Let’s go see to our patient’s needs one last time."