by K. Darblyne
The small woman looked up into the distant calming azure pools, a soft shade of crimson now spreading over her skin, as she realized she was being watched. It was as though she was a young girl caught playing at make-believe, but this time it was different. This time it was for real and she had the friend with her that her heart had always longed for, who would be the one that touched her very soul to its hidden depths. Danni could not help but be a little embarrassed at her unbridled actions pouring forth from her childhood, manifesting now in front of her friend.
She slowed her pace to a standstill and gazed back at the tall woman emerging from the opened driver’s door of the vehicle. The long, raven locks moving gently with the forest’s natural air current, beckoning to them as she moved away from the vehicle and closer to Danni. The small woman stood mesmerized as she watched Garrett come to within just a few feet of her. Reaching out to her friend, she touched her arm, just ever so lightly to make sure that this was not just another of her dreams. Wrinkling her nose, she cocked her head to one side and spoke softly. "I guess you think that I’m silly."
"Nope," the word was deliberately drawn out. "I think you look cute." She looked around the clearing and then back to her friend. "You must have had some wonderful times here in the past to feel this way."
The blonde was speechless at the surgeon’s words, nodding in agreement. Closing her eyes, she willed her emotions to yield once again to her control.
A warm smile tugged at her lips as she began to speak. "I used to spend time here with my grandfather when I was growing up. My brother and sister never really enjoyed it like I did." A single tear rolled down her check as she remembered. "I haven’t been up here since I was sixteen, right before he died." She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. "By the gods, I don’t know whether I missed him or this place more," she confided.
The older woman was curious about what had kept her friend from coming back sooner than now. "So why did you wait so long to come back?"
Reflecting inwardly, she sighed. "I guess I just got too busy with school, friends, and all the stuff that goes along with becoming an adult. Besides, my uncle inherited it but never spent more than a week or two here each year." She shrugged her shoulders, "No one to enjoy it with mostly. It was never one of the "in" places to go when I was a teenager. You’d say Sandy Lake to someone and they would look at you like you were from Mars." She was quiet for a moment before continuing. "There is something about the beauty of nature that you just can’t enjoy unless you share it with someone."
"But surely you had friends that you could bring…"
"I’m friendly, Garrett, but that doesn’t always mean that I had friends to share quiet moments with, or who would understand and appreciate the solitude of the forest."
Her words seemed profound to the surgeon’s ears. She looked at her companion, as if seeing her for the first time in this new light. Here, in front of her, was not the social butterfly one thought that she was originally, but rather the lone pine tree that stood ever-vigilant against the changing weather patterns, offering shelter to all who sought it. A sense of pride came over the woman, realizing that she was thought of as someone special and deserving to share in the beauty of this place. It felt good to be thought of in that way and she let her small friend know it by the lopsided grin stretched across her face. She choked on the words at first, but finally got them out. "Thanks for thinking enough of me to share this with you."
Danni smiled back at her, too scared to let her know what she was thinking.
****************
The remainder of the day, after unpacking the supplies, was spent on exploring the area and enjoying the natural beauty of the land. The two grown women frolicked and played like children in the piles of fallen leaves that had accumulated on the ground, first gathering them and then taking turns jumping into them. Anyone watching would not have considered them capable of holding the highly disciplined and demanding careers that they had. The sounds of laughter and giggling were like music to their ears, as each delighted in the closeness of this budding friendship.
With the light of day drawing to a close, thoughts of food and a warm fire soon came to their minds. Each one chipped in to the common goal. Garrett stacked the small branches and kindling, starting a fire in the fireplace, as Danni prepared their food for dinner. By the time they were done eating, darkness had fallen outside making the glowing embers of the fire even more inviting. They sporadically conversed about the day’s events; their thoughts often left long moments of comfortable silence as they sat in front of the fireplace, soothed by its warmth and their full bellies.
The fresh country air had taken its toll, as Danni began to find it hard to keep her drooping eyelids from closing almost completely. Shaking her head to try to fight off the ensuing sleep, the blonde yawned as she slowly made motions of getting up from her chair. "I guess I’m more tired than I thought." She stretched and yawned again. "I better turn in before you have to carry me to bed," she teased innocently.
The dark-haired woman looked into the fire studying it. "Hmmm…sounds like a plan to me." She smiled at the young woman. "Maybe I should bank up the fire so it will last ‘til the morning."
Danni nodded, making her way over to the beds. "Does it matter to you," she pointed to the two bunk beds against the wall, "upper or lower?"
"You take what you want," she chuckled, "I’ll sleep in whatever is left empty."
The small woman grabbed her nightclothes out of her bag and headed for the bathroom to change. Stopping at the door she looked over to Garrett who was strategically placing more logs on the fire. "Hey, Gar, I couldn’t find your pajamas when I looked for them yesterday, so I packed a pair of sweats for you to sleep in. I hope that’s okay?"
She held onto the log she was about to place and began chuckling, "Yeah, that’s okay." She watched the perplexed look on the blonde’s face.
"Where do you keep them anyway?" She shyly asked, then offered, "for future reference, I mean."
"Ahh…Danni, I don’t really have pajamas per say, that’s why you couldn’t find any."
"Oh! A boxer and T-shirt kind of girl, eh?"
A lone eyebrow arched as she answered with all sincerity. "Not really, I sleep in the buff when I’m not on call."
Mouthing the word ‘Oh!’ she went into the bathroom with visions of a tall, raven-haired, stalwart, unencumbered body being carefully caressed between the sheets on the bed. She closed the door and fell back into it. She fanned herself with her hand in an attempt to cool her raging thoughts. "That was more than I needed to know," she said under her breath as she contemplated taking a cold shower.
*************
The pristine sound of silence was deafening to the ears of the city dwellers as each lay in their bunk. The combination of full bellies, a day full of fresh air, not to mention the warmth and smells of the wood-burning fireplace, had quickly dulled their senses enough to allow each woman to drift off happily into the land of slumber.
Thinking back about her younger days spent here, Danni had prayed that her strong friend would easily succumb to the deep and relaxing sleep that she had always experienced. The mountain air was different than the city air. It had a way of cleansing your thoughts of worries and troubles, at least that is what her grandfather had always told her. The small blonde had surfaced from her sleep just long enough to hear the slow, rhythmic breathing of her friend. She smiled, then turning onto her side she pulled the blanket under her chin as she nestled into the pillow, drifting off swiftly once again.
The occasional popping and crackling of the logs on the fire had given way over time to the gentle even glow of burning embers. The night was edging over the apex of its nigritude into the softening light of early morning when Danni could feel herself being slowly aroused from sleep by the irregular rocking sensation of her body. Her mind strained to make sense of it, thinking that she had just relived a somewhat humiliating ambulance ride that she had once had in her now-forg
otten dream. The harder that she tried to bring order to her mind, the more she was able to actually feel the rocking and bouncing of the bed beneath her. Her external senses were now coming to life with the surging adrenaline that sped through her body. The audible noises of thrashing and turning from the bed underneath hers filled her ears.
"What?" She mumbled sleepily as she tried to push her head up off of the pillow. "Garrett, do you feel that?" She was now leaning up on her elbow, rubbing her eyes with her fingers. "Are you all right?"
The sudden movement of the body below had sent a rippling tremble throughout the bed frame as she quickly sat up, throwing her long legs over the edge and on to the floor. She sat there with her fingers clenched tightly on the mattress, her body rocking back and forth as she tried desperately to regain her breathing.
The sounds of gasping sent alarms through the nurse’s brain as she scurried to the end of the bed and started down the ladder that was attached to the frame. Blinking her eyes in rapid succession to accustom them to the dim light, she stepped around from the bed and gazed at the sight before her. Seeing the long hair draped forward on the downcast face hiding it from view and the tall body tense with fear, the young woman reached out to place a gentle hand on her shoulder. The soft touch on her skin drew an abrupt, uplifting turn of the shadowed head, allowing large, pleading eyes to be seen staring back at her in the dim glow given off by the smoldering embers. The look touched the very depth of Danni’s soul with its need to be comforted. Words were not exchanged as the small woman stepped closer, wrapping her arm around Garrett’s shoulders, pulling her in toward her welcoming body.
With her head resting on her young friend’s chest, the surgeon let the tears slowly find their way out, escaping the prison that housed them for so long. Soon, it became a hard, soul-cleansing cry that had overtaken her. Her fingers released the mattress, only to allow her long, muscular arms to wrap themselves around the small waist of the nurse. The gentling touch of Danni’s hand stroking her friend’s dark hair was accompanied by the soothing sound of her voice. "It’s okay…I’m here…I’m with you now…nothing can hurt you," she whispered. Brushing her lips against the top of the crying woman’s head, she tenderly rested her cheek on it, her eyes closed in meditation. "I won’t let it."
She found herself being comforted with tears rolling down her face as her mind fought to regain control. The vulnerability of the normally strong, stoic woman had been shown to the petite nurse without any reserve. There for her to see, the surgeon subconsciously had bared herself, both body and soul, for scrutiny.
The effortless ease that the pair had in their friendship was evident, as both the comforted and the comforter relished in the moment. Each soul either getting or giving what was needed most, unselfishly.
With her tears subsiding, the once-thought-of strong woman began to speak, her voice quivering as she tried to get the words out. "I…I…can’t change a thing." She shook her head in defeat. "It just keeps coming…keeps repeating itself over and over again." She bit her lip to stop it from trembling, "I can’t prevent it, or change its outcome."
Maintaining a soothing voice, the younger woman asked, "What can’t you change, Gar?" Then offered, "Maybe I can help you."
Crystal blue eyes pierced through the dimly lit room with such intensity that they shook the very soul of the young nurse. The hurt and pain transmitted between the two was immeasurable. With that single gaze, Danni had become privy to the driving force of the surgeon’s life.
Her mind began gathering the parts of the puzzle, searching desperately for the one key element that would tie it all together. The sounds that had awakened her this night were the same as the ones she had heard on their nights off together for the last several weeks. She thought back, trying to remember exactly when the surgeon had first shown signs suggesting her lack of sleep. Green lamps blazed with realization that it had all started around the time of the birth of Rene’s children, the night of the horrific family tragedy and the days of dealing with the single family member that had been left.
Danni closed her eyes tightly and prayed. ‘Please, don’t let me be right. Don’t let that have happened to her.’ Her mind raced for any reference that her roommate had ever made as to family, and came up empty. It was as though they had been wiped out of the surgeon’s memory. Images of a serene-looking Garrett entered her mind. The scene quickly playing in her head, they were talking to Diana Morgan about how she wanted to remember her brother, Brad. Then the nurse could hear the sound of her friend’s voice talking in the distance. It was a conversation she had had with Danni, enlisting her aid in the situation. ‘…It could affect her for the rest of her life. I don’t want to let her feel any remorse about what has to be done. She doesn’t need to be haunted with this tragedy any more than she is already.’ She could still see the pained look on Garrett’s face from that day.
"By the gods!" Danni exclaimed under her breath. She had found that elusive piece that tied the puzzle together. Tears began to roll down her cheek as she felt the rage of her anger build within her. The fates could be cruel indeed. Had it not been for Rene needing to be off that night, her friend would never have been in a position to see history repeat itself first hand and all too personally. Her heart cried out in anguish for the surgeon.
With renewed concern, the young woman held on to her friend. "I’m here…shhh, I’m right here with you." Sensing the chilled touch of the skin under her hand, Danni reached down to the rumpled ball of blankets, pulling one around to cover the trembling form. "I think we better get you warm," she whispered into the sulking woman’s ear, proceeding to rub her hands on top of the blanket to hasten the warmth into the shivering body. "Garrett, I’m going to put some more wood on the fire." She tugged at the surgeon’s hand that was now clutching the blanket together in front of her. "Let’s get you closer to the fireplace. Come on…you can sit up here in the chair."
Blue eyes raised to meet the warmth of the loving green that acted like the beacon of a lighthouse, guiding the ships away from the rocky traps of a jagged shoreline. The promise of safety guiding her motions, she nodded her head and rose to follow the smaller woman. There was shelter in those eyes and the sailor was sure that for now, she had found her safe harbor.
Danni patiently waited, not wanting to push her friend before she was ready to share her past life experiences. She made herself busy replenishing the wood in the fireplace, and coaxing the glowing embers into igniting the kindling. Her mind tried to think of how her friend had been able to live for so long without having anyone close to her. The young woman thought about her siblings and how much she enjoyed and took pride in their lives and loves. Danni looked over her shoulder at the ghastly form that filled the chair; she could feel her heart tugging at her to give comfort, but knew that what her friend needed now was warmth and time to deal with her feelings.
She got up from the fireplace and ventured into the small kitchen area of the cabin. She had provided warmth for the exterior of the tall woman, now it was time to think of something for the inside. The blonde rummaged through the bag of provisions that they had brought with them until she found the box of tea bags. A slight smile came across her lips as she remembered her mother’s favorite saying when troubled times had reached one of her offspring, ‘Share some tea with me and I’ll share in your troubles.’ She had always marveled that by the time the cup or two of tea would be gone, the troubles seemed to be also. Sighing, she reverently whispered as if it were some kind of prayer, "Well, Mom, let’s hope that I paid attention all those times." She reached for the teakettle on the stove and filled it with water, placing in it back on the now-lit burner. An occasional gaze in on her friend only prolonged the task of readying the cups for the steaming liquid that would steep the tea of its flavor. Sooner than she anticipated, the teakettle began to whistle, drawing attention to its timely readiness. Stealing a brief look in Garrett’s direction proved only to be disheartening, as the bleak woman sat unaware of the shri
ll whistling that the excited teakettle was producing.
Carrying the two cups over to the fireplace area, she placed one down on the table next to the empty chair. The nurse gently placed the other cup next to the surgeon’s sinewy fingers, "Garrett, I made us some tea. Would you like to have a cup?"
She waited to see if the words would get any type of response from her friend. They didn’t. The huddled figure still clutched on to the blanket, her eyes staring straight ahead of her. The petite blonde wasn’t about to give up on her friend, though. Instead, she carefully pried the fingers of one hand away from the blanket, replacing it with the handle of the cup. "Careful now, it’s hot. We got to get some warmth going on the inside, Gar. Take a sip or two for me, will you?" The blonde watched patiently as the cup slowly made its way to the lips of her friend. With each sip a little more of the warm liquid reached its destination. The combination of the warmth both inside and out was beginning to soothe the ragged woman, easing her with as much gentleness as was being shown by her small friend.