Gavin shot me a perfect smile, dimple firmly on display. "The Moon Mother sent me back for good. I'd say after we get back, we have a lot of decisions to make."
I shot Gavin my own goofy grin,. "I’ll hold you to that," I said.
And I did.
EPILOGUE | GAVIN
I’d known there was something missing from my life. I’d fought for the title of alpha, beating out contenders who’d come from many territories around. With the old alpha’s blessing, I’d assumed leadership of our pack.
I listened to wise counsel, and I tried hard to make sure that all of my decisions were sound ones. No one could ever accuse me of being power hungry. I never led us into unnecessary battles. I made sure that hunts were shared among the pack, caring for those too old or too weak to care for themselves.
I gave my life in service to my people.
But I’d never found the other half of me, never known the omega whose touch would make my life complete.
Many urged me to take a mate anyway. There were widows who were ready to open their hearts again. There were other mateless who would have been good companions. And for those who were willing, I never begrudged them the happiness of finding that affection - within our pack, or out of it.
It just wasn’t for me.
I died defending my packlands. An ambush. I took down as many of the invading wolves as I could - but it wasn’t enough.
And then I slumbered in the Moon Mother’s embrace.
The thing about being on the other side of life is that it isn’t any less real. You’re still you - with all of your desires and your foibles. And while sinking into rest was exactly what I needed when I first was slain, as time went by I began to wake up. I invested myself into seeing what became of my pack. I visited with old friends and family in the Other. And one day, looking out into physical reality, I saw him.
Tiny scrap of a thing, really. A pup wailing his song to the moon, besieged by grief and sadness.
I didn’t feel anything more for him but care and affection - there wasn’t anything sordid about it.
But I knew. In the Moon Mother’s embrace, I knew immediately that his soul and mine were two sides of the same coin.
And that I was two hundred years too late.
I grieved. I raged. It was like I’d managed to roll away all of my loneliness from when I was alive and stuff it down into a tiny, square box that I hid within my soul. I knew it was there, but I’d never let myself feel it.
And then the box exploded.
I felt very foolish, even as I let out all of those pent up emotions. The Moon Mother comforted me. Once Jay had lived out his life on earth, he too would come to rest in her embrace. Eventually, we would both choose to live new lives on the earth, and we could reincarnate together.
I thought I’d made my peace with that. I probably had. It was still more about processing the emotions I’d denied myself in life than it was really about him - he was still a child. I retreated back into slumber.
Every so often I’d wake, and look in on him. He grew up well. Whipsmart, beautiful, and so strong, even if he didn’t see it. I saw.
And when he called out to the Moon Mother, I could see it all so very clearly. There was a living alpha who would make a fine match for him. A man who would treat Jay well, and adore their children. Jay would leave a fine legacy. The Moon Mother could bring that alpha - that Gregori - to Jay. Would do it to protect her child.
But I was greedy.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay. I knew that I was condemning him to potentially live a life without me. But I wanted. I’d fallen in love already, watching the brief glimpses of the man as he studied and cooked and sheltered in my pack lands.
And so I took. I inserted myself into the Moon Mother’s plans, and came out snarling, ready to defend my mate.
I only hoped that it would be enough.
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS BOOK!
Find You: In the Desperation is the first book in the Find You series, but certainly not the last! The second book, In the Attic, will be available on May 31, 2019.
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In the Desperation (Find You Book 1) Page 10