She arrived home to find Audrey ensconced in an armchair reading a magazine; she appeared to be much calmer. At least she had set the table for tea – she had visited Maisie several times and knew where everything lived – but it was up to Maisie to set to and make a meal. Bacon and eggs with fried bread would be quick and tasty, she decided, and she was pleased to see that Audrey ate it with enjoyment. Maisie guessed she was trying – and succeeding, it seemed – to put tomorrow’s ordeal out of her mind; as though, having unburdened herself to her friend, she was now able to turn her thoughts to other matters.
She did not mention the thing that was uppermost in her mind, and surely must be in Audrey’s too, although she was managing to conceal it very well. But she knew that before they retired to bed she would have to broach the subject again. They talked instead about events that were taking place back home in Middlebeck…
At the end of the previous month Archie Tremaine had been elected as the Labour Member of Parliament for the district of Middlebeck and Lowerbeck, unseating the Conservative businessman who had held the seat for many years. Not, however, by a tremendous majority. The election, throughout the country, had been something of a cliff-hanger, and although a Labour government had been returned to power, with Clement Attlee still at the helm, it was with a considerably reduced majority.
‘My father said that Archie was very lucky really to be elected,’ observed Audrey. ‘Apparently it was a close run thing.’
‘Still, he got there, didn’t he?’ said Maisie. ‘I’m glad for his sake, and I’m sure he’ll do a lot of good work for the constituency. He will have to live down in London though, won’t he, for a lot of the time? I wonder if Rebecca will go with him? It will be a big change for them.’
‘Have you heard anything of Bruce lately?’ asked Audrey. ‘I heard that he was thinking of leaving the RAF.’
‘No, I haven’t heard anything,’ replied Maisie. ‘Not a dicky-bird… Oh, that reminds me, I must tell you something. You’ll never guess who came into the shop a couple of weeks ago…’
‘Go on, who was it? Not Bruce, obviously.’
‘No… Christine with her new chap! They’ll be married by now…’ She told Audrey the tale of her encounter with them, with full details of what Christine had been wearing, and her flashy engagement ring. ‘She was as nice as pie, actually; I was really surprised.’
‘So Bruce is divorced now. He’s footloose and fancy free again…’ said Audrey, looking keenly at her friend.
‘Obviously…’ said Maisie, but she did not rise to the bait.
Later that evening they went on to talk about the plans that were afoot at the High Street premises owned by Arthur and Lily Rawcliffe. Lily had come into full ownership of the draper’s shop early in the previous year, when Cyril and Eliza Jenner had both died quite suddenly. Cyril had succumbed to the flu in the January, and Eliza had died only two months later. Of a broken heart, folks said; at all events she had lost her will to live. They had been a devoted couple and life without Cyril must have seemed meaningless to her.
Lily was devastated by her death as she had been a very good friend over the years, and the fact that she was now the owner of quite a substantial property had meant very little to her at first.
The drapery business had not been doing too well. It had always been a somewhat old-fashioned shop, especially when Eliza Jenner had been in charge. Since Lily had taken over the management she had tried to bring their merchandise more up to date, but she had found as the years went by that she was up against more and more competition. Since the end of the war there were more readymade clothes on the market; synthetic fibres were all the rage and garments could be bought reasonably cheaply. She realised that many of her customers were now shopping further afield, making expeditions to the larger towns and cities now that goods were more readily available.
On the other hand, Arthur’s bakery business next door had been going from strength to strength, as had his outside catering business. The same idea had occurred, it seemed, to both Lily and Arthur at the same time; but it was Lily who first made the suggestion that she might close the draper’s shop, and that the premises could be made into a restaurant… Only to find that Arthur had been considering exactly the same thing for quite a while, but had not wanted Lily to think that he was seeking to take over her own little enterprise.
Consequently, they had contacted a firm of builders, and work was now going on apace to convert the draper’s shop into a tearoom.
‘Well, rather more than a tearoom,’ Maisie told Audrey now. ‘It’ll be a restaurant really, but only quite a small one because it’s not a very big area. Mum thinks it’ll be popular with shoppers who want to pop in for morning coffee or afternoon tea, but Arthur is rather more ambitious. He wants to do lunches, and evening dinners sometimes, if they’re booked in advance. He’s got all sorts of plans, but they’ll just have to see how it goes.’
‘So when is it going to open?’
‘In a few weeks’ time, all being well. Arthur wants to open in time for Easter, certainly. They’re trying to think of a name for it at the moment. “Rawcliffe’s Restaurant” is OK, but I think they need something a bit more catchy…’
Maisie noticed that her friend was not listening as intently now. She had finished her drink of chocolate and was staring down at her beaker, twisting it round and round in her hands. It was ten o’clock, and if she was going to raise the dreaded subject again that night, Maisie decided she had better do it at once.
‘Audrey…’ she began. ‘How are you feeling now? I mean…are you still in the same mind, or are you beginning to realise that it would be a foolish thing to do? Not only foolish, but very wrong as well. You must realise that…’
‘I do, I do!’ Audrey turned an anguished face towards her. It was clear she was still in a state of great torment. ‘I know all about that; I know it’s wrong. But I’d rather go through with it than have to tell my parents what I’ve done; that I’m pregnant… I couldn’t tell them, never, not in a thousand years. I couldn’t do that to them. They’ve been such wonderful parents to me, Luke and Patience, since my real mum and dad died. In fact, they are my real parents now, and I just can’t hurt them like that, Maisie… Don’t you understand?’
‘I think so,’ said Maisie. She went over to her and took the mug out of her hands, then put an arm around her. ‘I’ll be there for you, Audrey, I promise… Now, I think it would be a good idea if we went to bed, don’t you? You must have my bed – no, I won’t listen to any arguments – and I’ll sleep on the settee. And you’re going to take some aspirins to help you to get to sleep…’
‘Come on now, there’s a good girl,’ she said, returning with the pill bottle and a glass of water. ‘In fact I’m going to take two myself to settle me down. Off you go now and use the bathroom; it’s free at the moment, and the woman on the next floor sometimes takes ages. I’ve put a hot water bottle in your bed. See you in the morning…’
Audrey clung to her for a moment, then silently went off to prepare herself for bed. Maisie knew it was doubtful that her friend would sleep very much. She, too, lay awake for a long time, despite the dose of aspirin, but eventually her agitated thoughts diminished and she slept until the alarm clock wakened her.
She decided that there was no point in harrassing her friend any more. She had done all that she could. Maybe a night’s rest – if Audrey had been able to sleep – would have helped her to view things differently. At all events, it was up to Audrey now to make the decision.
It soon became clear that there would be no moving her from her resolve to go through with her plan. Audrey would drink only a cup of tea, with nothing to eat. She had been told to make sure she had an empty stomach. She seemed calm; too calm. At just after half past nine they boarded the tram and travelled the two stops to the other end of Woodhouse Moor, then walked to the house that Audrey had visited before.
Maisie was feeling sick at heart, and sick in her stomach too, so she
could imagine that Audrey must be feeling ten times worse. She was slightly encouraged, however, when she saw the house. It was, as her friend had said, quite posh, both inside and out; and clean, too, which was far more important.
The door was opened by a woman in a white coat, the same woman, Maisie guessed, that Audrey had met previously. ‘Ah yes, Miss Dennison,’ she said. ‘We were expecting you.’
Maisie was a little surprised to hear Audrey give the name that she had had as a child, before she had been adopted by the Fairchilds; presumably because she wanted to safeguard her identity and, maybe, not to connect the name of the rector and his wife with the sordid operation she was about to undergo.
‘And this is…?’ The woman looked enquiringly at Maisie.
‘I’m Audrey’s friend,’ she said unsmilingly. ‘I’ll wait for her, if that’s all right with you?’
‘Yes, quite all right.’ The woman gave a nod and the briefest of smiles. ‘Come along in…’ She ushered them into a room at the front of the house which was furnished quite comfortably, but not lavishly, with easy chairs and low tables on which were copies of magazines: Ideal Home, Yorkshire Life, and Amateur Gardening amongst others. ‘I’ll leave you here for a little while, then I’ll come and tell you when my husband is ready for you, Miss Dennison.’
They both sat down uncomfortably on the edge of the armchair seats. There was an eloquent silence for a few moments, and then Maisie spoke. ‘Audrey…’ she whispered urgently. ‘It’s not too late, you know, to change your mind.’
Audrey shook her head. ‘No…’ she whispered back. ‘I’ve come this far, and it’ll soon be over. So long as I know that you’ll be here waiting for me.’ Her voice broke on a sob and she looked away, blinking rapidly. She clenched her hands together tightly. ‘I’ve got to get a grip of myself. It’ll soon be over…’ she said again.
After only a few minutes the door opened and the woman – Maisie had never discovered her name – was there again. ‘Miss Dennison, if you would come with me, please…’
Audrey walked from the room without a glance at her friend. If she had looked at her Maisie was sure she would have cried out, ‘Audrey, don’t! You mustn’t…’ But it had to be her own decision when all was said and done.
Maisie sat and waited, not knowing how long the wait would be. She was not sure, in fact, just what would be happening to Audrey. Would she have an anaesthetic, or would she be conscious of all that was going on? She shuddered, staring at the clock on the mantelshelf and watching the hands move round, so very lowly. It had a loud tick and it sounded, to Maisie’s ears, like a solemn harbinger of doom.
Nine-forty…nine-forty-two, nine-forty-three… When the hands of the clock had almost reached a quarter to ten the door burst open and Audrey dashed in. ‘Maisie…oh, Maisie!’ she cried, flinging herself at her friend. ‘I can’t do it! I can’t, I can’t… Take me home, please, Maisie. I want to go home…’ She burst into tears.
Maisie felt a great weight lift from her mind. Thank goodness… No, more than that. Thank God! she said silently inside her head. She held her friend close. ‘Of course I’ll take you home,’ she said. ‘Let’s get away from here, right now.’
The woman was hovering in the doorway. ‘Miss Dennison will lose her money, of course,’ she said. ‘We can’t be responsible for people changing their minds.’
‘Money!’ Maisie almost spat at her. ‘What does the money matter compared with my friend’s life? You might have killed her.’
‘Now just you look here,’ the woman expostulated. ‘We run a reputable business, and I’ll have you know that we have never lost anyone…’
‘There’s always a first time,’ retorted Maisie, ‘and when it happens I hope you are found out and punished. Come along, Audrey; let’s go…’ She took hold of her arm and guided her out of the door and down the path.
‘I’m sorry…’ whimpered Audrey, ‘but I just couldn’t do it, Maisie. Not when I saw the bed and all the instruments on the table. And he told me to…to take off my underwear and to lie down. And I just panicked. I’m sorry…’
Maisie put an arm around her. ‘Why do you keep saying you’re sorry? I’m not sorry… I’m glad, really really glad, and I’m sure you must be too. You know it was wrong… What did you mean when you said you wanted to go home? Did you mean…to Middlebeck?’
Audrey nodded. ‘Yes…’ she whispered tearfully. ‘I need my mum, and my dad. They’ve been so good to me, and I know they’ll understand. Luke and Patience always understand, and they always make everything come right…’
Chapter Twenty-One
Before they made the journey to Middlebeck – for Maisie knew that she would have to go with Audrey – they went back to the flat.
‘Breakfast, first of all,’ she said. ‘You’ll feel tons better when you’ve got some food inside you.’ She made several slices of toast which Audrey ate, spread lavishly with butter and marmalade, finishing off with a banana.
‘You’ll come with me, won’t you?’ asked Audrey. She seemed much, much calmer, as though a colossal weight had been lifted from her. ‘I don’t know how on earth I’m going to tell them, but I want you with me, Maisie… We won’t tell them, though, about – you know – what I was going to do. I feel ashamed of it now, more ashamed than I am about being pregnant. That’s our secret, isn’t it, for ever and ever?’
‘Of course it is,’ replied Maisie. ‘And you know I’ll come with you; you didn’t need to ask. I told you I would be there for you, whatever happened; but I’m so relieved you changed your mind. I would have gone along with you and supported you, whatever you had done, even though I didn’t agree with you. But now that you’ve come to your senses everything will be just fine, you’ll see.’
‘They’ll be shocked,’ said Audrey. ‘And so disappointed in me, so ashamed… Oh dear, whatever have I done?’
‘You made a mistake,’ said Maisie, ‘just like thousands of other girls have done before you. But I should imagine Luke and Patience are pretty shockproof by now, don’t you?’
‘I suppose so… Come on, Maisie; let’s get moving, or I shall change my mind again about telling them.’
‘OK… I’ll fling a few things into a bag, then I’m ready. I shall have to come back tomorrow, though, to open the office on Monday. I can’t leave them in the lurch any longer.’
‘And I suppose I will have to go back to college…’ said Audrey. ‘Do you think so? Or will I have to leave…?’
‘Don’t let’s think about it now,’ replied Maisie. ‘But no – I’m sure you won’t need to leave. You finish your course in June, don’t you? It’s not very long… Now, could you clear these few pots away for me, there’s a love, while I get ready…’
They caught a train in the early afternoon after lunching at a snack bar near to the station.
‘Do you remember the first time we made this journey?’ asked Audrey, when they had left the city centre and the outer suburbs of Leeds behind and were passing through the wide Vale of York.
‘Could we ever forget?’ smiled Maisie. ‘Saturday, the second of September, wasn’t it? 1939 – the day before war broke out.’
Audrey giggled. ‘You sound like Rob Wilton,’ she said. ‘The day war broke out, my missus said to me…’
Maisie joined in with the comedian’s catchphrase, glad that her friend was actually starting to laugh again. ‘Yes, off we went into the wide blue yonder. I don’t suppose we gave a thought to how long we might be away from Leeds…’ And, subsequently, the little town of Middlebeck had become home to both of them, although Maisie did not wish to remind Audrey of the circumstances that had led to her staying there.
‘And now we’re both back again in Leeds,’ observed Audrey. ‘At least you are, right in the city centre, and I’m not so far away.’
‘But I still think of Middlebeck as home,’ said Maisie. ‘I was eager to get away, but it’s always nice to come back.’
‘You took care of me on that day, all those yea
rs ago,’ said Audrey. ‘And you’re still taking care of me, aren’t you? I don’t know what I’d do without you, Maisie, honestly I don’t.’
‘Now don’t start getting maudlin on me.’ Maisie grinned at her and nudged her elbow. ‘Here…’ She held out a paper bag. ‘Suck a barley sugar and shut up! Or else we’ll be so far down memory lane we’ll never get back.’
Audrey smiled. ‘We had barley sugars on that day as well. I remember…but they were mine, not yours. My mum used to say they were very good when you were travelling, to stop you from feeling sick.’
‘Well, there you are then… Let’s be quiet, shall we, and read our magazines?’ The other folk in the carriage were a silent lot and Maisie did not want them to overhear any unwise confidences; the woman sitting opposite, pretending to read a book, looked as though her ears were out on stalks. She closed her eyes, lulled by the rhythm of the train, and dozed for a while, the sleep she had lost the night before finally catching up with her.
Audrey dozed too, and when they awoke they were travelling through the hills and valleys of the dales country. They smiled at one another, then looked out of the window at the familiar scene as the train approached Middlebeck. The ruins of the castle on a distant hill; the river, and a little waterfall cascading down a gully; greystone cottages with spring flowers just beginning to peep through the earth… and then they had arrived.
They lifted their bags from the luggage rack and alighted. There was no one to meet them because no one knew they were coming. Audrey was starting to look a mite apprehensive again. She glanced uncertainly at Maisie, biting her lip, which was beginning to quiver a little.
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