A small smile turned up the corner of his mouth as he looked at me. “You might be biased.”
“Not on this, boy band,” I said, almost insulted that he was implying I was. I liked him on a personal level better than the others, for many reasons, not the least of which was that we were on the cusp of a romantic relationship. But there was no denying he was far and above the best musician. I wasn’t the only one to think so, either, a fact that I kept reminding myself of because I never wanted to be accused of playing favorites.
He seemed to get it then, the little smile disappearing a fraction of a second before he dropped his eyes. “Sorry, I...I didn’t mean...”
“I know,” I said trying to take the sting out of my words. “It makes you feel weird. I get it. But you’re the best choice to take lead.”
“Of course I’ll do it—whatever’s best for the band.” He sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair, messing it up adorably. I tried not to focus on how good he looked, especially as he still seemed off.
I was about to ask him if there was anything else when he spoke again. “Anyway, that wasn’t the only reason I came out here.”
I took another sip of my latte as I looked at him, eyebrows up, waiting for him to now get into the Legion Thunder thing.
“Sandy texted me,” he said.
And that would make strike two. I said nothing as I waited for him to go on.
“She...she said that she couldn’t tell me why, but that I should come find you and make sure you’re okay.”
Putting the latte down on the table between us, I didn’t know whether I should hug Sandy or punch her in the face. Moot point since she was still almost a full continent away. I’d just have to owe her, I reasoned with myself.
“I’m fine,” I said, though he knew me well enough that he’d see right through the lie. I was mostly phoning it in anyway, because why bother?
“Is it about your mother?”
I nodded and reached for my drink again, stirring the straw around before taking a sip. I was trying to look casual but was stalling for a second, praying silently to the god of keeping it together in hotel lobbies that I wouldn’t completely lose it. “Yeah, so apparently the guy she ran off with is selling his story and leaked it to the media.”
“I figured it was something like that,” Will said. “I did see a mention on my feed this morning.”
“Perfect,” I said and then let out a few curses while I did some more praying to that god. Not that it was working.
“Is that why your dad was staying away from the band? To keep the negative press away?”
It had never occurred to me until that moment that my dad might be using that as a strategy. “Maybe.” But then I realized my father was en route. “Except he’s on his way back, so get ready because the vultures are going to start circling.”
“Good thing we have security in place,” he said, glancing up toward Stefan.
He was right, and I did feel more prepared for the paparazzi and media attention this time. But in a way, it was almost worse waiting for it. Last time I had no idea what was coming for me. This time, I knew too well.
“I’m really sorry,” Nessa.
I shrugged and took another pull from the straw. “It is what it is.”
“Anything I can do to help?” he asked.
I looked up at him and his earnest face and was about to say, “Take me to a private spot and kiss the crap out of me until I forget my own name,” but instead I drank the rest of my latte, the straw sucking loudly against the bottom of the cup as I tried to ingest every last molecule.
“Nessa,” he said. I saw out of the corner of my eye as he leaned forward, toward me. “I want to help. Tell me what I can do.”
There was no way for him to help me, to stop the drama that was coming for me. Sandy had already taken away my social media accounts, so my exposure to anything that I wasn’t deliberately looking for, was basically nil. There was nothing else anyone could do. My past was coming for me whether I wanted it to or not.
“I know you want to help,” I said. “But you can’t.”
He reached for my hand and rubbed my fingers with his. “For what it’s worth, I’m here for you, you know,” he said softly.
“I know.” I then lifted my eyes to his, gently pulling my hand from his grasp. “Take the gig, Will.”
He did a double-take, like it was the last thing he’d expected to come out of my mouth. Which wasn’t a stretch, since it was about the last thing I’d expected to come out of it.
“What?”
“I’m sorry for the bad segue, but we were going to get there eventually. You should take the gig,” I repeated. “You’ll be sorry if you don’t.”
“It’s just an audition,” he said. “Not a done deal.”
I would bet money on the job being his if he wanted it, but maybe they were using the formality of an audition to let him feel them out. “Whatever. You have to do it.”
“Are you...” He frowned. “Nessa, are you trying to get rid of me?”
“Not at all,” I said. “But it’s a time-limited job. A good opportunity. You said yourself you’re feeling superfluous here, so why not?”
“I...I’m not...” he trailed off into a sigh as he seemed to be dithering.
“What’s stopping you?” I asked, my tone more clipped than intended. “And I swear to God, boy band, if you say it’s me, I will tell you to get your head out of your ass. And then I’ll break up with you.”
He grinned up at me through his lashes. Be strong, Vanessa, I told myself as I stared back at him, defiant. Or, at least, trying to be defiant, because I would not back down on this no matter how freaking boybandy and adorable he was.
The grin dissolved and he looked down at his hands. “You know that my joining Wiretap was supposed to only be an interim thing,” he said. “Because they needed me and it felt like a cool opportunity to live the rock star life for a while. A short while. Something to tell my grandkids about, you know? The coolest summer gig ever.”
“Totally.” I nodded.
“And it is. I have to admit I’m loving it way more than I thought I would. So much about it has been amazing. The music, the guys, getting to learn so much under your dad.” He shrugged and looked away, his eyes scanning around the lobby before he continued a few long moments later. “Joining Legion Thunder is...that’s big time. Legit big time. And following in my grandfather’s footsteps. It’s not just messing around for a summer.”
I took exception to the fact that he was calling my father’s band ‘messing around for a summer’ but I knew what he meant. Taking the Legion Thunder gig probably meant, at least in his own mind, that he was working toward a career as a rock star. Something he’d said he didn’t want. He was seeing this as a pivotal moment in his life.
But it didn’t have to be that black and white. It didn’t have to be forever, either. “It’s what you make it, Will,” I said. “Like I said, it’s a time-limited job. No one says you have to make this a life decision that you can’t come back from. There are plenty of rock stars that return to earth and become normal people. Some even go on to have regular lives and jobs.”
He nodded, but that he missed my joke made me wonder if he’d even heard me—he seemed far off. Or far inside his own head. “They want me to be there for the recording of the album. They’re even asking me if I might have some songs that they could consider using.”
“Seriously?” I asked, my heart aching in pride for him because: wow. That was huge. But of course, Billy knew all about his talent—had now seen it firsthand.
He nodded.
“Any you have in mind?”
“Full Circle,” he said without a second’s hesitation. “The one I played back at the talent show. Maybe a couple of other things I’ve been working on, but that one for sure. I actually had Legion Thunder in mind when I wrote it. You know, with all th
e stuff with my grandfather going on. I actually...” he paused, and I saw his jaw working as he took a minute to work through the obvious emotion. “I’d hoped to share it with my grandfather when it was done, but...”
“That’s a good song,” I said. “That’s the one that got you discovered.” I was smiling but hoped he could tell from my eyes that I was dead serious.
He nodded. “I know,” he said and then took a deep breath and smirked up at me. “Well, that and my good looks.”
He was changing the subject with his teasing, but I got it; no one wants to get emotional in the lobby of a hotel. Maybe he was praying to those gods too.
“Please,” I said, rolling my eyes for his benefit. “Full of yourself much?”
But he wasn’t. If anything, he seemed uncomfortable with the idea of being a sex symbol. Not because he didn’t like the attention, but because he didn’t think he deserved it. Which made me think he needed a better mirror. Or an eye test.
That he was so humble was a big part of his appeal and the only reason why I could tease him about it. The modest thing really did it for me. Way more than it should have, but after my complicated past with Andres and how I felt about many musicians with inflated egos, I was all about genuine guys. Ones who didn’t feel they were entitled to adoration while being insecure and desperate for it at the same time.
So yeah, that he was so humble and innocent, the anti-rock star type, made him irresistible.
And based on the love that Sandy said he was getting on social media, it did it for a lot of Wiretap fans, too. He’d been branded the sweet guy in the band, where Darren was the funny one, Max was the broody one, Andres, the sexy Latin lover, and Graeme was the sophisticated Brit. Chris hadn’t been around long enough to be typed yet, though he was probably going to get branded a sweet guy, too. Just not my sweet guy.
Will was blushing a little, which just made him even more attractive. “Anyway,” he said. “I’ve been tooling around on a few things. Max has been helping with the arrangement. Did you know he’s a songwriter?”
It didn’t surprise me, and I said so; Dad loved fostering talent so it made sense he’d bring someone on who could do more than just play music.
“He’s been working on some of his own stuff, too,” Will said. “Stuff he’s going to show to your dad. He’s good.” He seemed like he felt he needed to convince me. Which he didn’t; he had proven time and again that he knew good music when he heard it, so I trusted his judgment.
I took a final last sip of my latte that was mostly melted ice as my phone rang. Glancing down at it, I was relieved to see it was Billy.
“I’m just inside with Will,” I said as I answered. “All is good in here. I checked with the events lady; we’re all set for later.”
“Good,” Billy said. “Graeme is out for today; I presume you’ve heard?”
“Yeah,” I said, glancing toward the elevators to see Kiki emerging from one on her own. “Kiki just checked him in. She’s on her way back out to you.”
“All right. We need to get started on sound check. A car is on its way to pick us up to take us over to the venue.”
“So early?” I asked, glancing at the clock on my phone—it was later than I’d realized, but still earlier than we normally got started.
“Kev called over and said they’re all set up. I thought that with the meet and greet being earlier, we should take advantage. That will let us do a longer rehearsal. Not a bad idea with Will taking lead. Once we wrap that, everyone can have a chance to rest this afternoon.”
I looked over my shoulder, but Max and Dr. Carmichael were still in the hotel somewhere. “Max is busy for a bit,” I said.
“He can join us later—I’ll send the car back for him.”
I stood up and tossed my cup into a strategically-placed garbage can. Will was already getting up and facing the doors, either hearing the conversation or taking my movement as a cue. I looked over toward Stefan and gestured for him to follow, nodding my head toward the front doors.
“Okay,” I said into the phone, feeling a little down over Graeme’s illness, and very, very hopeful that it started and finished with him.
“We’ll manage,” Billy assured me. “As long as no one else gets sick,” he added, echoing my own fear. Then he laughed humorlessly because there’s nothing funny about a whole band and crew getting sick.
“Anyway,” he went on. “Come on back so we can head over when the car gets here.”
“On our way,” I said and ended the call.
I took a long breath and turned toward Will, forcing a smile that I wasn’t feeling, despite how this could be a good opportunity for him.
“So. Ready for your big break?” I asked him as I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes.
He raked his fingers through his hair again and nodded as he gestured for me to precede him through the sliding doors out into the blistering heat.
“Ugh,” he said. “I am so over this Arizona furnace. I hope Legion Thunder has some dates up north. Like, Alaska.”
I stopped mid-stride, even though it meant longer under the burning fireball in the sky, and looked up at him. “So you’re going to audition?” I asked, trying to sound casual about it even though my heart was pounding like crazy. At least the flush I felt rising on my cheeks could be blamed on the fact that we were basically standing in an incinerator.
He looked over at me and nodded after a pause. “Yeah. Mostly thanks to you being so smart. You made some pretty convincing arguments.”
I didn’t feel very smart just then.
“You’d regret it if you didn’t,” I said out loud, when all I could think was a very sarcastic: Well done, Nessa, you just convinced your boyfriend to leave you.
I began to walk again, moving faster to get around the building and to the back lot where the bus was parked. “Come on, I feel my skin crisping up like a roast chicken.”
“You sure you’re good with this?” Will said as he practically had to jog to catch up with me.
I glanced over, but only for a half a second. “I’m great with it. Really. Couldn’t be happier for you, actually.”
“Cool,” he said in a relieved and happy tone, obviously taking my words at face value.
Which nearly broke my heart because he absolutely should have known I was lying.
Sound Check
As we rode in the limo over to the venue, the guys were more subdued than normal. I hoped it was simply because they were down a man and not because any of them were getting ill. We’d asked them a bunch of times if they felt okay, and to let us know if they weren’t, enough that they were starting to get annoyed at being badgered. That might have been part of the tension in the car, too.
I hoped it wasn’t because Will was taking Graeme’s place. The last thing we needed was any in-fighting in the band because egos and bad feelings were getting in the way.
Speaking of egos, I snuck a glance at Andres and noticed he was scowling slightly more than usual. I hated that scowling had become his ‘usual,’ and I wondered if he was starting to regret ever joining the band—a thought I shelved for later when I had a moment to myself. I knew him well enough to suspect that at least part of his mood was due to exactly that—that Will had been picked over him. As the most experienced touring musician in the band, Andres likely felt he should have been asked to play lead.
If decisions were based on seniority, he’d be right, and he would have been chosen. But judgments were made strategically on what was best for the band. At least, I thought they were.
As we rolled down the freeway and I kept my gaze trained out the window at the stark scenery of the Phoenix landscape, I thought about the reasons why putting Andres up front in Graeme’s place might not have been a bad idea. His existing fans that knew him and were following him from his solo career would have enjoyed seeing him acting as frontman. It probably would have been smart to play to that exis
ting base. We could even have turned Graeme’s illness into an opportunity to spotlight Andres, doing some targeted social media, pumping him up as a feature.
The more I thought about it, the more I wondered at Dad and Billy’s strategy in passing him over and asking Will to fill in. Had they even considered Andres? Maybe they were holding him back to keep his ego in check, which I secretly appreciated, if that was the case, but was that what was best for the band?
Whatever it was, it began to feel like an odd decision. I mean, they easily could have rotated all the guys through the playlist and given everyone a chance to take lead. That would have kept everyone happy (except poor Graeme, of course).
I looked around at the sullen faces, and couldn’t help but think this was what all the guys were pouting about as we drove the few short (but agonizing) miles to the concert hall. Or maybe they were just tired after several days of back-to-back performances. Tomorrow’s day off after tonight’s concert couldn’t come too soon.
I almost sighed as I remembered I wouldn’t have the relaxing day off in El Paso that they would. Not that I spent two strenuous hours on stage every night after rehearsals and sound checks, along with being ‘on’ for the meet and greets, but I still did plenty behind the scenes. Definitely enough to warrant some serious R&R beyond the impromptu nights off I’d been given.
And what I had on deck for the next day—meeting my mother—could not be considered R&R.
We finally arrived at our destination and to say that we were relieved to pour out of the limo, despite it being nicely air conditioned, was an understatement. We rushed through the heat to the backstage door, eager to get into the blissfully cool building. Security pointed us in the right direction and with a nod and a thanks, I led the guys to the backstage area.
We were met right away by our techs who handed off equipment to the guys, pre-tuned and ready to go. The entire Wiretap machine was very well-oiled.
“Where’s Max?” Kev said, looking around as he held up Max’s bass.
The Rosewoods Rock & Roll Box Set Page 76