Slowly shaking his head, he continued, “They want a place where they can escape from God’s dominion, even if they have to create it for themselves. A place where they can plot and scheme a way to pursue their war against Heaven. It’s not possible that they ever could achieve an independent existence apart from God, not in a virtual reality, not on Earth, not in the unseen, supernatural realm. It’s an absolute impossibility — it would be like trying to lift a chair while you are sitting in it. But they have convinced themselves it can happen. So they keep trying. And failing.”
Maru-Dannum stamped his foot and shifted impatiently, bobbing his head up and down. Mia thought, “He understands everything Enoch is saying. He has to!” She patted his neck.
“The ultimate goal of these fallen beings is to go to war with Heaven, defeat the Holy Great One, and as victors, become the sole rulers of the Earth and an enslaved humanity. It sounds like a foolish, foolish idea, but they assume that God has weakened and diminished himself each time he gives gifts away to his children, human and angelic. In the days of Nimrod, they tried shooting an arrow into Heaven through a portal they had built on top of the Tower of Babel, and the arrow came back with blood on it. So ever since, they have believed that they have a chance to succeed in killing God. Even though they have no idea what that arrow hit. By creating a powerful creature that will incorporate the pieces and parts of multiple human souls added to their own powers, they believe this Frankenstein-ish supernatural Beast will overpower and defeat the Lord of Hosts, and in this way, they will escape the judgment they know they are facing as long as God is the King over the universe.”
“So foolish, and ridiculous!” Mia said, and Maru snorted.
Enoch smiled at them both. “They are, but they can’t see it. What I’m saying is that they kidnapped you hoping to extract the powers God has given you and add them to their own. But their schemes are doomed to failure. No matter what they do, The Watchers won’t end up with all-mighty powers in a virtual reality that exists separately from God. They can never create a world where they could launch a successful war with any hope of defeating the Lord of Hosts. They keep ignoring the number of ways their very existence is still hard wired to God’s world, to God himself.” Enoch paused for a moment, then said, “All he would have to do is speak a word, and they would become dust, fragmented into less than a pile of atomic nano-particles.”
“Good to know!” Mia smiled. “I’m glad to hear they’re doomed to failure. Even so, I don’t want to be a part of their attempts. In any way.”
Nodding in agreement, he continued. “As for the other question — ‘Why did they think you would cooperate with them?’ We’ve already talked about having to choose a side, God’s or the devil’s. They knew your loyalties were divided, that you were choosing to be on your own side, not God’s, even though you were favorably inclined to God. It’s my belief they saw that rebellion in your soul and thought that you could be brought around to support their cause by appealing to your wish for an independent existence. They knew you had not laid down your arms and weapons where God is concerned.”
Concentrating on grooming Maru (and not looking at Enoch), she said, “It’s strange to realize that I was seeking the same things those monsters wanted, that I had a hidden impulse to fight against God and create my own independent realm where he was excluded. I just thought I wanted to be left alone, to be able to make my own decisions without anyone else’s interference getting in the way. And if I could, find a sanctuary, a place of my own that was insulated from everybody telling me what to do — so that I could escape the pain I’d suffered. I’m glad I’ve changed my perspective now. Earlier, I couldn’t see beyond the notion that I’d let myself be bullied and made a horrible, unforgivable —.” She glanced at Enoch. “A horrible, but forgivable, mistake that was made when I let someone else take charge, push me into doing wrong. I let them pressure me —. She took me to —.” Mia stopped and sighed. “I could have said no, but I didn’t. As a result of that pressure, I had an abortion.” She continued brushing, silent for a time. “I can’t tell you what a gift it is to meet my never-born son Kit. A great and totally unexpected gift that I’m grateful to have received, even though it was beyond painful to go through it all. It answers so many questions I’d wondered about. Kit’s such an amazing person. I’m glad he has found a home here with you.”
“Yes, he is a wonderful person, extremely brave, and good of heart,” Enoch said. “We’re very fortunate to have him here, and I’m proud to have him as a greatest great-grandson.”
Unexpectedly, these words brought tears to Mia’s eyes, and she was glad she had put another linen handkerchief into her skirt pocket. How could anyone ever have convinced her to do away him? Thinking to justify discarding a human life because the child was so small, unable to speak for himself because he was barely begun is evil — nothing less. She still had trouble grasping that God would forgive her for choosing to end Kit’s life because it was difficult to forgive herself for doing it. But she was determined to hold onto that thought, to have faith in God’s mercy.
He continued, “I want to be sure you understand the answer to your question. No one plans to become evil. When tempted to cross the boundaries the Lord of Heaven has set up, people say to themselves, ‘I’m a good person, these forbidden things won’t affect me. My good heart is a guarantee that I won’t change, proof I can resist evil. I can do this little sin and still be a good person.’ People imagine they will cling to what’s good, and at the same time, indulge in their pet corruption. But it’s not possible. Good cannot stay good on its own. Good isolated from God always becomes evil and corrupt. Always. Those evil creatures saw that you were not entirely connected to God, that you put loyalty to your self-sufficiency higher than your obedience to God. And so they thought they could drive a wedge into the gap by exerting their expert skills at manipulation on your soul, mind, and body. In time, they would have led you to begin compromising your desire to do good in small, unimportant ways. At first. Later, there would be greater and greater betrayals and rebellions, until in the end, they would bring you around to connect with them and totally reject God. It has happened so many times before. Fortunately, you have decided to offer yourself as a living sacrifice, choosing to love God with all your mind, heart, and strength. God conquers each of us in order to free us, captures us with the goal of liberating us from the chains that bind us. He’s the only monarch who demands our loyalty but after he has it, then he truly sets us free. But you had to choose a side.”
“I know, you said that before. For the record — no changes, I still pick God’s side.”
Enoch laughed. “I see you’re still not entirely comfortable with the idea.”
Mia smiled and shrugged. “Laying down my arms and swearing fealty to the King of the Universe is a concept that doesn’t come naturally to me. I don’t take well to being commanded. But I’m working on it.”
“Glad to hear it,” Enoch said. “Just so you know, I share that struggle to surrender as well. People who can lead or stand up alone in a fight have an independent mindset, so yielding in any way will be very difficult for them. But God himself provides us with an example of an obedient life. When faced with a choice, Jesus always obeyed his father’s words. Always obeyed God’s laws in every way. That is the example that you and I must follow.”
“Ah yes, obedience,” Mia said. “They say that the Lord of hosts is the most frequent title given to God in the Bible. In Sunday School, I got the impression that the hosts were angel choirs or something like that. It wasn’t until I studied medieval literature that I realized that the word hosts referred to armies. So, there it is. I’m enlisted in God’s army, and bound to do as I’m commanded. No Dread Pirate’s life for me on the high seas, sailing miles from port and laws.”
After a slight pause, he said, “A pirate’s life might sound like a wonderful adventure. Even so, I always advise reb
els to lay down their arms and surrender. Which you have done. Once you quit battling God, then you can start battling evil, with freedom, passion, and valor. You don’t need to regret the loss of your pirate days, Mia. God has created a role for a woman with a warrior’s heart. Are you familiar with the subject of Proverbs Thirty-One? The so-called virtuous woman?”
Putting her hands on her hips and with a smile on her face, Mia turned and confronted Enoch. “The description of the perfect woman who is held up as a paradigm no actual woman can ever live up to? Who never sleeps, keeps a perfect house, and who runs a small business so well she can invest in real estate and hire a live-in maid? That virtuous woman?”
Enoch laughed. “Yes, that woman. In English the passage opens, ‘A virtuous woman, who can find?’ I wanted you to know that virtuous is not the best English translation for the Hebrew word cha-yil. Cha-yil means valiant, strong, powerful, wealthy, capable. So a better translation would be, ‘A woman of valor, who can find?” She’d be an example of the virtues of courage and strength. And not overvalued by saying ‘Far above rubies is her worth.’ A wife has to be valiant to be a helpmeet suitable for her husband, to watch over him, to act as a bodyguard to help protect his soul. It is a shame so few English-speaking men support such a concept.”
“Is that true? Before anything else, the ideal woman is a valiant warrior?” Mia asked.
“Absolutely true,” Enoch nodded. “Eshet cha-yil.”
“Then I may be more qualified to be a Proverbs Thirty-One Woman than I ever thought I could be. Who knew? What do you think of that, Maru?”
The tall red horse nodded his head up and down. Mia laughed, then said, “Good boy! You know what’s right, don’t you. Have saber, will wife! You know what? I just thought of something, Greatest Grandfather. There was one time when I gave up the sword in my hand in the middle of a fight, if I remember what I did correctly. That’s pretty close to laying down my arms where God is concerned. It’s a start anyway. And I don’t remember regretting it at all. So maybe I can learn to be content with swearing fealty to God, happily choose his side and not my own.”
Enoch smiled, “A good example to remember then. That occasion can be a start for learning to lay down your arms where God is concerned.”
Leaning against Maru, her head on his neck, Mia stopped brushing him, her hand dangling by her side. Enoch took the brush out of her hand. “If you’d like, you can sleep on those bales of hay tonight, here in Maru’s stall. He will stand guard while you sleep.”
Mia nodded, and Enoch turned to leave. She stopped him and said, “Thank you, Greatest Grandfather. For your help and wisdom. I appreciate that you always take the time to explain how things work. It helps me know what is the right way to understand what has happened to me. Otherwise, I would feel like such a freak of nature, asking questions nobody else cares about, while everything inside me is so unstable, my mind a source of potential confusion. Or worse.”
“You’re very welcome, Greatest Granddaughter. It’s always been my pleasure to talk with you. And don’t worry — you are not a freak of any kind. May the Eternal One bless your sleep.”
On the way out, Enoch stopped next to Ethan, who was standing just inside the barn door. They walked out together, then stopped to talk outside.
Ethan said, “Glad you were there to talk to Mia. Earlier, Mother Tallis told her about the probability that iCon had used MK Ultra conditioning on her, and the news came as a shock. Obviously very distressing for her. The reaction to the upset wasn’t too bad really, but she did get upset, so I wanted to be sure everything was okay. Earlier tonight, Kit told me his side of story, what happened when he met his mother, how it hadn’t gone very smoothly at all in the beginning. Adding everything together, even a small, inconsequential revelation might be difficult for her to deal with right now. And discovering you’re being mind controlled is no small thing.”
“Oh, I see. I’m sorry to hear that.” Enoch nodded. “Yes, you’re right. It’s been one shock after another after another after another for her. And all in such a short time too. Even over an extended period, it would disrupt anyone’s equilibrium trying to deal with such devastating blows to the foundations of your life. It’s a good thing we’ve been able to provide help, do what we can to keep her feet from sliding.”
Ethan said, “I’ll keep watch here tonight, stand guard outside the door.”
“That’s a good idea. In case she needs anything.”
33 | Impress
Next morning, Mia woke listening to the sounds of a rooster crowing, someone moving around the barn, the animals eating their breakfast. In the stall beside her, Maru-Dannum’s bright red coat was glowing in the dawning sunlight, and he was tearing at a stack of dried green something in the manger in his stall. She was surprised to find there was blanket covering her — she didn’t remember having one when she fell asleep. Maybe Enoch had gotten it for her.
It was a new day, and she was glad her heart felt much lighter today. She wasn’t sure what the source of this brighter outlook was, but it felt like something more than the sunlight streaming in the barn windows. Whatever the reason, she didn’t feel so damaged or vulnerable today, and the burden of knowing how deeply iCon had invaded her privacy, her home, and her mind felt less pressing. The reason why wasn’t entirely obvious, but she felt a confidence that Enoch, Kit, and everyone at his home (including Maru-Dannum) were offering her an effective place of refuge here, that she was truly protected. She stepped over to Maru and patted his neck. “Thank you for watching over me last night.”
Just then, the stall door swung open and a tall man with long hair, moustache and beard entered. “What did you say?” he asked.
“Good morning, Ethan! Oh, nothing. I was talking to Maru. How are you today?”
“Good morning, Mia. Doing very well — and you?”
“Much better today. I want — I need to apologize for making a scene at supper last night. I guess I got overwhelmed by what I discovered, what I learned from Mother Tallis, about my mind being controlled without my knowing it.”
Ethan poured grain into Maru’s bucket. “Want to help me with the livestock?”
“Sure! Show me what to do.”
“Follow me then. You know, as far as scenes go, it wasn’t very bad. Last night.”
“That’s good to know. But that’s not how it felt. She confirmed — I had suspected something was happening to me, but it was still shocking to hear, ‘You are being mind controlled.’ Not paranoia then, but something terrible actually happening to me. I already had proven to myself that my house had been bugged, and my car and my office and my cubicle. Then last night, I was told my mind had been hacked. Earlier when I caught the people at iCon knowing too much about me — that was a terrible shock, but that was nothing compared to discovering my mind had been invaded and was controlled from the outside. Last night, everything I thought about myself and my world was gone in an instant, all burned up like flash paper. Boundaries that I thought were solid weren’t. Never had been. Every shred of privacy I thought I had, turned out that it hadn’t ever existed. How can you live if you can’t even trust your own mind? It’s like there are hidden doors to other dimensions that might burst open at any time, in any place, revealing monsters intent on overpowering me. It’s weird but I’m so glad there’s no electricity here, and of course, no electronic spying. Otherwise, nothing here would seem safe. Or even —”
Mia struggled to pull the twine off the bale of alfalfa hay for the horses. “Shoot.”
Ethan came over with wire cutters to help undo the bale Mia was struggling with. “Hold that steady. Don’t want to lose a finger, you know.”
Smiling, Mia asked, “Why? You’ve got nine more.”
With a serious face, Ethan said, “Because I’m attached to this one.” But the twinkle in his eyes showed he was joking too.
Mia laugh
ed. “Ooh. So puns it is. En garde then.”
After removing the cord, Ethan continued. “You’re right, Mia. In the twenty-first century back on Earth, there’s not much privacy left, not many boundaries that are still respected and protected. If it helps, you aren’t the only person here who feels vulnerable because their life was invaded by evil. The everyday world back on Earth only seems safe, because often it’s not. Living in the natural world we can see, there’s no indication of what’s going on in the unseen realms. No idea when or where the supernatural will break out and impact our lives. However, once the veil is lifted, and you’ve seen the supernatural world and what’s truly out there — well, it’s an eye-opening, perspective-shifting experience. Don’t know the full extent of the spiritual forces that surround us, good and bad, but it’s better knowing the forces on God’s side outnumber the ones on the other side. In any case, it’s truly different here at Ismarsettehka. Feels safer here because it is safer, and we are more secure. We’re being protected. Satan doesn’t rule this place like he rules the Earth.”
While he was standing next to her in the morning light, Mia looked at Ethan’s face. She could see that the bruise around his black eye was getting better, but she was shocked to observe the left side of his face was covered with scars. How had she not noticed the scars before this very moment? She must have gasped a little because he glanced sideways at her while he was sweeping and said, “Ran into a burning building once.”
“Oh.” Mia paused. “I remember now. I saw those scars earlier, didn’t I, when you and Enoch came to rescue me in Noonan Hall. I’m sorry, I had forgotten.” She paused, remembering. “Funny, I said something about running into a burning building last night.”
Ethan nodded. “Yes, I heard. Was standing guard near the door last night and heard you talking to Enoch.” He stepped into the next stall and started sweeping it out.
Mia looked at him. “Oh. I didn’t know that. By the way, your black eye looks better today. Just so you know, I have this talent for saying the wrong thing to people — wrong because it’s perfectly accurate and relevant to their life but blunt and painful to hear. From what everyone has been telling me lately, I have some sort of in-born ability in my soul to gather information about other people, where another person’s history will impress itself on me without me even trying to discover it. And then that impression goes from my subconscious and out my mouth without me even realizing that I’m saying things that will go off like dynamite when the other person hears it. I don’t know how it works — it’s just something that happens. If you ask me to do a psychic reading on a person, I wouldn’t have a clue what to say. I don’t try to get these messages. Sometimes I wonder, ‘Where did that sentence came from?’ after I’ve said it.”
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