“I’ll go,” I said. I made to rise, but he pressed his hand on my shoulder.
“No.” His voice cracked. “Please stay. I’m … afraid.”
I twisted around to better see his face. He’d reddened, and his eyes taken on a glaze.
“You … read it to me,” he said.
I faced back around. “Jackie.”
“I wish she wouldn’t call me that,” he said.
I smiled to myself. Jackie sounded like a girl’s name. I continued reading. “I wish I could talk to you and tell you how much I love you. But I’m afraid that you’re still too upset with me to hear it. You and your sister deserve so much better than a mother like me.”
I paused and glanced upward at him. He squeezed my shoulder. “Keep reading.”
I searched for my place. “Lucy said you thought I abandoned you like I abandoned Joseph. I understand why you feel that way. But I didn’t abandon Joseph. He is with his father’s family. Attached is a picture of him with his grandparents.”
I waited to look at it until I finished reading. “They are good people and very happy to raise him. I am allowed visits, though it is strictly out of their kindness. The father is not in the picture. I’m sorry, but I will not explain that. It is too personal. Know that my sin I carry in my heart, praying to God for forgiveness I do not deserve. I hope one day to find it.”
“Son, I didn’t want to let you and your sister go, but you’ve never been happy here, and your father didn’t want to stay anywhere near me. I don’t blame him. So I thought you’d simply be better off there. It isn’t that I didn’t want you with me, but I have no income, no way to support you. I promise to come for your high school graduation, if you’ll let me. Maybe before then, you can call me sometime. However, only when you’re ready. I love you very much, more than you will ever know. With love, your mother.”
I hesitated before calling up the picture. If he protested, I wouldn’t. But he waved me on with a flick of his hand. Joseph was a beautiful baby, all chubby and round with a thick head of hair. His grandparents were smiling from ear to ear.
“He looks like you,” I said. He actually did. I wasn’t making that up.
“You think?” Jackson replied.
I dipped my head in response. “Yes. I can print it for you … if you like.” He said that was good, so I hit the print button. The papers squealed into the tray, and he scooped them up. He turned, pausing at the door.
“Jackson, I’m sorry … for going behind your back.”
He nodded, the back of his head bobbing up and down. “I’m going home. I’ll see you later.” He left before I could speak, and his withdrawal pinched my heart so tight the pain crushed my chest. I sat there numb, unsure what to do, what to think.
My cell phone buzzed. I touched the screen. It was Jackson.
I love you, but I need time. Please understand.
I stroked the words with my thumb and muttered beneath my breath. “Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me.”
***
I sunk into the doldrums, Jackson’s absence hitting me harder each day, and laid about inert, staring at everything and nothing at all. I skipped breakfast, just the thought of sitting in there and Jackson not being around made me want to cry, and picked at my lunch and dinner. It all tasted like paste anyway. On the third night, I crawled into bed at nine o’clock. I mean, why stay awake? Sleeping seemed preferable.
But I didn’t sleep. I kept glancing over at Jackson’s room, tormenting myself. He’d closed his blinds, probably to keep me out. And I ran over and over in my mind the whole thing. It seemed more and more needless the longer I thought about it, and so I was feeling pretty dumb and very depressed when I finally drifted to sleep.
Jackson’s voice woke me up. “You sleeping?” he asked.
Why ask me that when you’re sitting right beside my bed and can see that I am?
“I was,” I said. I rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?”
“Six.”
“A.M.?” I screeched. He’d never awakened me that early. Then it hit me he was Jackson, right here in my room, and he’d ignored me for three days. My eyes got all squishy, and I started blubbering. “I … thought … you … were not … coming back.”
He smiled at me and ran his fingers down my cheeks, wiping up my tears. “Of course, I was.”
But get a girl crying real good and she can’t stop. I started sobbing even worse. Soon, I was a complete wet and snotty mess. He acted like he didn’t care and told me to scoot over in bed. I did, and I folded myself around him, laying my head on his chest.
It was so nice being there like that. He was warm and snuggly, and he kept kissing my cheeks and mumbling how much he’d missed me. He’d just needed time to think, and never thought I’d think he was taking off. I said I’d thought he was and would never speak to me again.
Then it came to me I was in my nightgown minus breast support, a fact which soon communicated itself to him because he started making funny faces at me, smirking. And that made me giggle.
We weren’t either one being too quiet. Mistake. Because next thing I know the door flies open, and Travis is standing there. If I could have captured his expression for all time and sold it for pennies, I’d have enough to live off of.
“I knew it!” he declared. “I knew you’d both been doing this, and I knew one day you’d mess up and I’d catch you.”
“Oh, shut up,” I said. “We aren’t animals for you to catch, and we aren’t doing anything.”
“But look at you … and him … in your bed. You’d better hope I don’t tell mom.”
Travis was such a pest. He wouldn’t tell mom; I’d see to that. I glared at him. “Travis McKinsey, I dare you to speak one word.” Then I said the one name that always shut him up. “Susan Bell.”
He got all blustery, his face shading crimson, and in a huff, shut the door.
My giggles returned. Helpless to stop, I buried my face in Jackson’s chest and laughed until I lost my breath.
He was looking at me then, his eyes twinkling, but the question was written across his face. Who is Susan Bell?
I pulled myself together. “Susan Bell,” I said, “is my mother’s boss. Well, was my mother’s boss. She’s not there anymore. But when Travis was just out of high school, she hit on him. Like unbutton the shirt, lick your lips, hit on him. He was so freaked.”
I laughed again and had to compose myself. It was so priceless. “He let her know he wasn’t interested, her being older, and she went ballistic. Started threatening Mom’s job if he wouldn’t see her. He came to me asking what he should do. Like, what do I know? So I told him Mom would be upset to lose her job and more upset he hadn’t told her what her boss said, to take his pick. He goes to see her at her house and tell her his decision, and honest Abe, I don’t know what he chose, but he opens the door and she’s standing there stark naked. He got so upset he puked all over her feet.”
Jackson was laughing now, holding his sides, and that made me laugh again. Then a noise in the hallway shut us both up.
“Lucy?”
Mom.
“Who you talking to?”
“Go. Go. Go.” I said to Jackson. He slipped from the bed and out the window.
I mussed up my hair and cracked the door. “Nothing, just … you know … having a bad dream.”
“About Travis? I thought I heard him too.”
“He … came to check on me.”
She smiled real wide. “Well, I was worried. You’ve been so down in the dumps.”
“I’m all right now,” I said. “Jackson’s coming for breakfast today.”
She scratched her head and moved toward the bathroom. She had to get ready for work. “That’s nice. He’s a sweet boy.” She closed the door and water gurgled in the sink.
I returned to my room and looked out the window. Jackson was crouching underneath. “You were coming for breakfast. Weren’t you? Because I’m making waffles today.”
He smiled real big.
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
I tapped him on the nose with my finger. “Good thing I’m your neighbor or I think you’d starve to death.”
EPILOGUE
Almost a year later
A camera went off in my face, and I blinked through the dots in my eyes. “Is that it?” I asked. I really hoped it was because I couldn’t take much more picture-taking.
“One of you with Jackson,” Jackson’s mother said.
I moved to his side, and he put his arm around me. The flash went off again.
Travis showed up out of nowhere. “If it isn’t the happy couple,” he said.
I made a face at him. “If we’re happy, then what are you?” I’d be glad when he graduated from college and made himself scarce.
Jackson’s mom walked up to us. Behind her, like way behind, was his dad. They’d sat in opposite places from each other. To be expected I suppose, but at least they hadn’t argued. His sister was somewhere. I looked around for her, but she’d run off with one of her friends.
“Where’s mom?” I asked Travis.
His answer made me snicker.
“She saw Susan Bell and went to say hello.” His face was white as the snow, or I guess it was. I’d never seen snow.
“You mean you didn’t want to go with her?” I asked. Oh, that was funny to me, but to Tray, not so much.
“So what’s next?” Jackson’s mom asked.
He’d started calling her when the school year began, and they’d worked out some of their issues. I shrugged. “No idea. I’m sick of people telling me to go to college. I hate school.”
“Well I know where I’m going,” Jackson said.
I looked up at him. This was news to me. I knew he wanted to play college basketball. I also knew he’d been offered a couple scholarships, but frankly, I blocked a lot of that out because it meant him being away from me.
Then I saw his mom’s face. She had a funny expression, sort of like she had a secret and was about to burst. What exactly was going on?
“Aren’t you going to ask me where?” he said to me.
I shifted my bouquet of flowers to my other arm, the fragrance of mums wafting up my nose in the transfer.
“Okay, where?”
“Washington State.”
“Washington?” I stared at him incredulous. “But that’s … so far. And I’ll be here, and you’ll be there. And …”
He cut me off. “You could come with me.”
Come with him?
“And live where?” I asked.
“With me, of course.”
You could have scooped my jaw up off the floor at that point. Live with him? But that went against the Bible and all the stuff my mom had taught me. I couldn’t compromise my values even for Jackson Phillips, and I loved him so much.
Then I noticed the sparkle in his eye. Okay, so he was funning with me again, but the question was why.
“Well,” I began. So I’d play along with his charade. “I could do that. But seeing as it’s so far and I have all these plans for the future, I just don’t know …”
I’d just said I didn’t have any plans, so he knew I was going on.
He fiddled around behind his back, and I noticed our families gathering around. What was he up to?
“What plans? You’re only plans are being with me,” he said.
I gave a huff and spun around, putting my back in his face. “You think a lot of yourself.”
His lips hit me moist and warm right at the nape of my neck. Oh heavens, do that again.
“You know, there is another way,” he said.
My heart went all flippy-floppy out of time. Was he doing what I thought he was doing? Sure enough he was because his hands wrapped around me and in his palm sat a ring.
“Marry me.”
Marry Jackson Phillips. You’d think I’d go all gaga and say, “Yes.” And I wanted to. But I was always thinking way ahead. I turned back around, no small feat with his hand around me and his mouth close to my neck.
“We’re so young,” I said. “How will we live? We’ll have to have housing, and that means rent, at least. Then there’s buying food and paying for everyday expenses. Plus, don’t forget light and water bills. And you’ll be in school or gone to games. What’ll I do? Get a job at a supermarket?”
Not that I had anything against jobs at supermarkets.
His face got all serious, and he sat there, the ring in his lap. Then the corner of his mouth turned up. “Lucy McKinsey,” he said, “I dare you to marry me.”
A dare. Oh, that wasn’t fair. He knew I never turned down a dare. I narrowed my gaze and pressed my lips together real tight.
“You chicken?” he asked. And he went to calling like a chicken and flapping his elbows.
Now, the last thing I was where dares were concerned was chicken. And I loved this man. No way, I wanted to spend the next four years of my life on the opposite coast from him. And I reckon we’d figure all the other stuff out.
I stuck out my hand. “You’re on!”
FROM THE AUTHOR
When I wrote my first young adult story, Me & Timothy Cooper, I decided I loved writing YA. That was the sole reason I began writing this one. There is something so sweet about the innocence of youth and two people finding love for one another.
Lucy McKinsey is such a ham, and one of the most fun characters to be inside the head of. I did not plan her crazy, daring personality past the initial kiss of Jackson when she was fourteen.
Jackson developed more as the story went on. Initially, I thought to set the story in high school with his coming back and her seeing him there. But that was too much like Me & Timothy Cooper. It came to me when I had her yank the shirt over her head in Chapter 1, that the best thing would be for someone to see it, and what if it was him? Thus came the “boy next door” idea.
I hope you enjoy this story and take away from it the joy of reading and the thought that God can fix broken hearts. God offers forgiveness for Jackson’s mother just as He offers it for anyone else. I have to believe she found it eventually, and that her son, Joseph, grew up into a wonderful young man.
But such is the mind of an author, always thinking ahead.
God bless,
Suzanne D. Williams
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Suzanne D. Williams is a native Floridian, wife, mother, photographer, and writer. She is the author of both nonfiction and fiction books. She writes a monthly column for Steves-Digicams.com on the subject of digital photography, as well as devotionals and instructional articles for various blogs. She also does graphic design for self-publishing authors.
To learn more about what she’s doing visit http://suzanne-williams-photography.blogspot.com/
or link with her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/suzannedwilliamsauthor
Also by Suzanne D. Williams:
Nonfiction:
Fearless
Short Stories:
The Amanda Series
Christmas Angel
Me & Timothy Cooper
I Kissed The Boy Next Door
Fiction:
MISSING (The Sanders Saga #1)
FOUND (The Sanders Saga #2)
Love & Redemption (The Florida Irish #1)
For Eternity (Time-Travel Romance #1)
Upcoming Fiction Novels:
Life & Deliverance (The Florida Irish Series #2)
Faith & Forgiveness (The Florida Irish Series#3)
Crossing Eternity (Time-Travel Romance #2)
Maire’s Song (Children of the Irish Series #1)
Tattooed
Upcoming Short Stories:
Flight Risk
A Miracle For Mari (Young Adult)
SUIT
The Life & Times of Lucas McGilley (Young Adult, Historical Fiction)
Eden
If you have enjoyed this book, please support the author by leaving a book review at Amazon and Goodreads. Thank you!
Available at Amazon and other online retail
ers
CHAPTER 1
Timothy Cooper, with his sandy-colored hair and sparkling blue eyes, was an absolute dream. Too bad he didn’t notice me. Ever. Could be there were lots of prettier girls around. Or could be we were only seventeen and he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship.
I didn’t think I was ugly. In fact, I’d gotten comments from other boys saying different. I had brown eyes, nothing remarkable about that, but my lashes were long and dark. I also had thick, brunette hair with a natural wave to it. Girls always envied my hair. More than one told me every day was a good hair day where I was concerned.
But maybe Timothy Cooper wasn’t interested in brunettes. Or maybe he liked girls with stick figures because I didn’t have one of those either. That was embarrassing at times. Mom would take me to the big department store in the middle of town, and we’d have to shop in the women’s department to find clothes. I simply couldn’t wear those skinny, tight things made for girls my age.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t fat – overweight. Just curvy. Which seemed like a good thing for the future, but not so much for a girl who was trying to fit in. And I wanted to fit in badly. I wanted the in-crowd to treat me as equals and Timothy Cooper to look my way.
But fate or the devil or whatever you believe in always conspired against me. Until our teacher, Mrs. Walker, decided to put us in pairs.
***
“Taylor Lawton, you will work with Timothy Cooper …”
My head shot up from my desk into the eyes of the very boy I spent all my days thinking of, and my gut twisted. Me and Timothy Cooper? Work together? The twist in my gut became a stone.
Then he smiled, and the room became brighter than the noonday sun. “Guess you’re stuck with me,” he said.
Heaven help me, being stuck with Timothy Cooper wasn’t such a bad thing.
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