For a moment, he looked away. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Are you ready to listen?" I tried hard not to sound snide.
Alan returned his eyes to mine. "I am."
Slowly, I took a deep breath. "Ok. As I said, Terry called me." I waited for Alan to respond. I wouldn't say one more word if he didn't agree. He nodded and I continued, "He's been following us since that night at the House of Blues. He saw us in the park, and he saw me faint. Terry asked me if I was having an affair."
Alan nodded, but his face darkened. Perhaps he could see what was coming.
"Anyway, he asked if I needed someone to talk to about it, and, like an idiot, I said yes."
"I knew this was bothering you. I should've listened."
"Alan, aren't you conflicted about this too?" How could I be the only one who was confused?
"Sure I am. But I know where I want this to end."
"You do?" I thought my heart had stopped. Could I handle it if he said he wanted to run off with me? Worse yet, could I handle it if he said he wanted to go home and pretend like nothing had ever happened?
"Yes. I…"
I cut him off, "I don't want to know right now." Alan frowned. "First we have to resolve this issue. Let me finish the story."
I waited for him to nod, then began again. "It was Terry's idea to go on the bike ride. He was just outside the door. I guess he had been waiting there when he called me." Alan's eyes turned darker, like a murky, brackish green.
"Again, like an idiot, I climbed onto his bike, and off we went. I should've said 'no,' but I didn't."
"Where did he take you?"
Did I detect concern or anger in his voice? "The lake where we went that first night. He had a blanket in his saddlebag, and we sat down, and I told him some of the story."
"What, exactly, did you tell him?" Alan said the words slowly, as if he was preparing to yell at me again.
"I left out the juicy stuff. I told him I didn't think I loved my husband anymore. That he'd become a philandering workaholic and that his priorities had changed. Terry held me, and I cried. It would have been fine if that's all that had happened."
"What else happened?" Anger flared across Alan's face, but I had to continue.
"How descriptive do you want me to be?"
"He came onto you?!" Alan stood, knocking his chair down. He began to pace.
"Yes."
"What did he do? Kiss you?"
"Yes."
"That's all?" He was in full fury mode.
I sighed. I would have to tell him, or he would always wonder. "He pushed me down, climbed on top of me, shoved his tongue down my throat, and his hand down my shorts."
Alan's voice was deadly calm. "He tried to rape you?!" Veins thundered beneath his skin. "That fucking bastard! I'll kill him…"
I interrupted his vigilante monologue before he put on a ski mask and tried to buy a handgun in Florida. "You don't have to."
"He attacked you!" he screamed.
I folded my arms, countering his hysteria with calmness. "I'm not exactly helpless, you know."
Curiosity got the best of him. "What did you do?"
"I knocked his balls so far into his throat he won't be able to swallow for a week. Then I kicked him while he lay there. I told him I would call the cops and report him for attempted rape and made him drive me back."
Alan slumped into his chair, staring at me in amazement. Clearly he hadn't expected that.
"He's pretty scared right now. I wouldn't worry about him."
"I still want to kill him," Alan muttered. "Did he give you an excuse as to why?"
I shivered, thinking about that. "He said he's always wanted me and that he thought since I was sleeping with you, I would sleep with him."
"Blackmail?"
"Possibly. Or he could have thought I was a slut."
"Jesus." Alan wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. "I had no idea."
We sat for a moment, allowing what I told him to sink in. Relief washed over me, taking all my strength with it. If Alan still wanted to fight, he wouldn't get much from me.
"Are you alright?" He ran those long, sexy fingers through his hair.
That was exactly the right thing to say. "I think so." I responded, taking his hand in mine, "Alan? Do you think I'm a slut?"
"No, I don't. I'm so sorry I even made you think that." He rose and pulled me tightly against him.
I pulled back. "Well, I told you about Nick…"
He brought me back into his arms, "I don't care about Nick. That was completely different."
I took a deep breath, smelling him, remembering, and making new memories. This one problem was solved, but a much bigger one loomed ahead. Tonight, I would have to have answers, but for right now, I felt better.
* * *
Martha arrived promptly at seven, and we left the hotel for the bus, arm-in-arm. During the twenty minute ride, we laughed about the kids' antics on the trip. I noticed that when Alan talked about Rory and Clara, it was with the same affection he used for Alice and Jack. He was already beginning to think of all four kids as ours. I know it should have startled me, but it had the opposite effect, and I melted into him.
Our reservations at the fake English pub weren't until 8:30. We had a table reserved on the patio so we could watch the light show. As darkness fell, we walked around the lagoon, talking intimately and holding hands.
Every time our eyes met, my heart fluttered. I felt nervous and giddy but also comfortable and safe. Like that feeling you have when you fall in love for the first time. It was exciting and terrifying, and I wanted more.
We paused beside the lagoon, Alan's arms around me. His lips brushed my ear, kissing my neck, leaving a trail of shivers across my skin.
"It's a beautiful night," I said.
"You are a beautiful woman," he responded, "and I'm a very lucky man."
"Hmmm, how so?"
"There's no place I would rather be than right here, right now, with you."
I laughed. "You say that to all the moms you run into on vacation."
"No, no, you are the only one."
I turned to face him, kissing him slowly on the lips. He moaned, and I wanted him. Pulling myself away, I forced myself to think of the kids. Tonight was supposed to be about discussing our dilemma. No matter how desperately I wanted to fuck him.
"You were going to tell me what you've decided," I said, searching his eyes.
He nodded, "I was, but you stopped me."
"Don't think you're going to get out of telling me. I want to know. Right here. Right now." I sounded calm but was jelly inside. What if he didn't want me? He seemed so sure of himself. Why wasn't I the same way?
Alan pulled me against him, tracing my face with his fingers, "I know what I want, Laura. I want you. I don't care if we live in a shack in Guatemala. My decision is to have you with me for the rest of my life."
I trembled uncontrollably. He slipped both hands up to my face, looking deeply into my eyes. I can't remember a time when I felt more terrified and happy. He was telling the truth. I could see it in his eyes.
"Come on," he said with a smile, "I'll bet our table is ready."
We held hands all the way to the restaurant. After we ordered, our fingers met across the table. I had made up my mind.
"Okay."
He looked puzzled. "Okay?"
I nodded, apparently having run out of words.
Alan's face turned from confusion to ecstasy when he realized what I was saying. "Really? Are you sure?"
"Yes." I took a mouthful of wine and swallowed. I was taking a big step. My life would change forever. Not just mine, but the kids' lives as well. Mike could just make that goddamned job his mistress. To hell with him.
"My God, Laura." Alan looked like he would leap onto the table. "I don't know what to say."
"Neither do I," I admitted. Fortunately, the fireworks went off, silencing us for a while. Every now and then our eyes would
meet, and I thought the table would spontaneously combust from the heat. His fingers never stopped stroking mine. I was completely lost.
"Anything else I can get you folks?" Our waitress asked as she brought our dinners. We shook our heads, and she left.
"What about the kids?" I asked the first question since I had agreed to run off with him.
"Let's try to get custody of all four." He grinned, and I nearly choked on my filet. "Why not? Susan and Mike don't want to be burdened by their families. Let them have every other weekend."
"And what will we do every other weekend with an empty house?" I asked, taking another sip of wine.
"I don't think we'll leave the bedroom."
"I knew I made the right decision." I smiled at him. "But we can't base this decision strictly on sex."
"I suppose we must be practical about it." He chewed his steak thoughtfully. "Where should we live? Your town or mine?"
"Let's find our own town. After all, we have to pull two kids from school, either way. Why not just make a fresh start?"
Alan laughed. "Fine with me. West Coast? East Coast?"
I cut through my meat, "How about the Southwest? Ever lived in New Mexico?"
"I've never even been there. You?"
"Me neither, but I've always wanted to go. I have a friend who's the dean of a college there. I could get work easily enough."
"I can work there. It’s a culturally active area and there are probably theater groups everywhere. ." He lifted his wineglass, "This deserves a toast. To our new life together in New Mexico!"
My glass rang against his, and I drained it. New Mexico. Where the hell did that come from? I suppose if we were going to do something so reckless as run away together, we should start out in a completely new location. My stomach twisted as I wondered if Mike and Susan would fight us. I suppressed the thought.
"So, we've made up our minds, we have a new place to live, and we know the kids will be happy. What's our timeline?"
"Timeline?" I asked.
"Well, you know, when we return home, how long before we break the news and flee to the hinterlands?"
"I don't know. How about immediately?" Leaving Mike was going to be agony. Being alone and away from Alan would be hell. The sooner we left, the better.
Alan pushed away from the table, shaking his head. "I can't believe this is happening. We're actually going to do it."
My God. So we were. "Yes, I guess so."
The silence was deafening. It finally hit me. I was leaving my husband. I was going to get a divorce. I never thought that would happen to me. I certainly never thought it would make me happy to do so. Happy. Jesus. It had been so long since I'd been happy. What would it be like to wake up happy every morning?
"I guess there's only one thing left for me to do." Alan rose from his seat and came around to mine, kneeling down on one knee before me. I think my heart stopped beating at that moment.
"This is something I thought I would do years ago. Laura," he began, "will you marry me?"
"Oh yes! Of course I will! Alan, I love you!" Tears flowed down my cheeks as I nodded in response to his proposal. A clearer head might have pointed out that I and the man proposing to me were already married to other people. A sober person might have said, let's take it one day at a time, or something reasonable like that. I think this might have been the most insane moment of my life. Things could only get saner from this point, right?
"I love you too. I know it sounds crazy," Alan said solemnly, "but I just can't live without you. Do you understand?"
I nodded. It did sound crazy, but it also made sense. There would be a lot of tears, not to mention paperwork, along the way. But for right now, life seemed absolutely perfect.
As we walked through the park on our way to the bus, I thought about all the questions crowding my brain. Instead of answering them, I just catalogued them for later. Tomorrow we could answer them. My heart was happy. Soon, my head would be too. But right now, that wasn't important.
When the lights went out on the bus, we made out like teenagers. Our lips never parted as his hands roamed across my body and my fingers explored his. I was going to give this man the lovemaking of a lifetime tonight. And it would just be a preview of what was to come for the rest of our lives.
When the bus came to a stop in front of our hotel, I pulled away, leading him off by the hand. In spite of what was to come, we moved slowly, taking our time as we passed through the lobby out to the bar area by the pool.
"Would you like a drink?" Alan asked, stroking my arms with his hands.
"Sure. Sounds good."
"I'll be right back." He pulled out a chair for me and headed to the bar. The night was cool, but my flesh was on fire. I took a couple of deep breaths and closed my eyes. Everything happened so fast, but I wasn't upset. Shouldn't I be?
No, this was what I wanted. It's the right thing to do. I knew it in my heart. For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace with my future.
Alan returned with two glasses of champagne, sitting after placing a glass in front of me. "To my future wife, Laura, the woman of my dreams."
"To the man that I love," I replied, "with all of my heart."
The glasses clinked, and we drained them. I started to laugh as the bubbles burned my throat.
"What is it?" Alan asked with a wicked grin.
"What I meant was, with all of my body."
"Oooh. Let's include that in our vows!"
"Mom would love that. Maybe we could get the minister to say, 'Now you may fuck the bride.'" Hmmm, that had potential.
"Now my dad would love that one. Why don't we just get a justice of the peace to do the ceremony from the hotel room?"
"That would make the wedding pictures tricky, to say the least." My God, we were talking about our wedding!
"You're right. But just in case, maybe we should get some practice in." Alan stood, holding his hand out to me.
"Yeah, we want to be really good at sex before the wedding night. I don't want it to be awkward in any way." I took his hand, and together we laughed as we walked to our rooms.
From the hall, we could see that the lights were out in Alan's room, on in mine. The kids would be asleep with Martha knitting away in the other room.
"I'm going to run down to the bar and get us a couple of drinks," Alan said.
"You go; I'll pay Martha and get ready for you."
He kissed me. "That sounds promising," he stroked my cheek with his thumb, then turned and headed back toward the hotel.
I was so giddy I could barely get the keycard into the door. I fought the urge to begin disrobing as I entered the room. Martha would probably be a little shocked. Finally the handle gave way, and I pushed the door open.
"Hey Martha," I began, smiling and flushed with desire.
Martha was gone. There, sitting in her place, was my husband.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I knew that people were talking about me and Nick long before we slept together. For some reason, it didn't bother me. Our colleagues had never met either of our spouses, so their gossip was just a haze of innuendo. While I didn't like being accused of something I didn't have the fun of actually doing, I ignored them. If Nick knew what was being said, he kept it to himself.
So, every afternoon we met in the empty cafeteria for our "break." These breaks became longer and longer as we both became more reluctant to leave. Our lunches lasted up to three hours. Even though we never discussed it, I think we both knew that this was more than a friendship.
So, why did I do it? I don't know. Maybe because Mike had cheated on me. Maybe I'm genetically predisposed to adultery. Perhaps I just have no willpower when I'm attracted to someone. I could be polyamoric—capable of falling in love with more than one person at a time. There really was no point in analyzing it, because being with Nick made me feel so good. And I didn't want to know the answer.
At any rate, we never even touched until that night in the back of his car. Isn't that strang
e? Something held me back. And yet, on days when he wasn't there, I was miserable. But each night I returned home to my husband and kids as if nothing was going on. I never felt guilty. And that is important, but I don't know why. Actually, Mike and I had better sex on the days I saw Nick, possibly because he got me all keyed up inside.
Something made this affair with Alan significant…different than the affair with Nick. I was able to walk away from that situation. I was able to put our families first. Now it seemed that I would do anything to break them up.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
There he was, my husband, smiling at me as if I was a multi-million dollar client, and there I was, blinking at him. I probably should have smiled back, considering Mike was there, like I had begged him to be a thousand times over. Only, I didn't want him there anymore. And I was pretty sure he could see that on my face.
"Mike?" I barely squeaked.
He rose from his seat and embraced me. "Surprise!"
I pulled back, still hoping it was all a mirage. "You're here. I…I can't believe it."
Mike laughed, then turned back to the chair and sat down. "Yeah, I clinched the deal early, so I thought I'd join you guys. I figured you weren't having that much fun without me."
"Great," I managed weakly. What the hell could I do? Alan would walk through that door any minute, and with my luck, he would be naked, carrying two bottles of beer with a rose in his teeth. Not that it was an unappealing idea, just the wrong moment. Now would be a good time for Terry in a G-string.
An idea popped into my head. I had to warn Alan. "Great Honey." I conjured up a little more enthusiasm, even planting a kiss on his cheek. "Why don't I run down to the gift shop and get us a few beers to celebrate?" Before he could respond, I ran out, shutting the door behind me.
There was no time to waste. Running down the hall I paused at the elevator. Would Alan come up the elevator or take the stairs? Just then the elevator doors opened. Alan stepped off holding two bottles of beer. I grabbed him by the shirt, dragging him into the stairwell.
Sex, Lies, & Family Vacations Page 11