Janette Oke

by Laurel Oke Logan

  Quickly she pulled her from the bassinet and ran to the phone to call Terry. “Come home,” she cried, “I can’t get Amanda to breathe!”

  Terry tried to calm her enough to have her call 9–1-1. The person who took the call kept Barbara on the phone while the Emergency Unit sped to her aid. They took over immediately, calling both her doctor and the pastor after finding the telephone numbers in her purse. When they were able to convince Barbara that she should give them the baby, they diverted her attention by drawing her into the kitchen and asking her to make tea.

  It was obvious that little Amanda was beyond help. The doctor later told Barbara that the wee baby must have passed away shortly after she was put to bed the night before. He had given Barbara medication, but she still seemed to be in shock when Edward and Janette arrived. She tried to be brave.

  “We can’t cry,” she warned them all. “They’re bringing Ashley home.”

  The funeral service was held in Calgary at the church where Terry and Barbara had stood to say their wedding vows. Terry read a poem that he had written the night after Amanda died as he looked at the empty cradle and then out at the star-strewn sky. Barbara sang to her baby one last time. And in answer to Terry and Barb’s request, Janette wrote a tribute that was read by the pastor.

  Amanda

  So tiny! So fragile! And yet in two-and-a-half short months, you changed our world so much.

  You responded to Mommy as soon as you were placed in her arms and learned over the weeks to enjoy the songs that she sang to you with love in her voice.

  You made your daddy proud with your sturdy, fast-growing little body and your refusal to sit down when you could see so much more by standing on your strong little legs.

  And you brought such pleasure and joy to your big sister Ashley as she shared her toys and pushed you in your Jolly-Jumper.

  You learned to smile and make your baby sounds so early, your little face crinkling up so completely your eyes would be forced to shut. Your grandmothers loved it.

  You endured, good-naturedly, the many impromptu hugs and kisses bestowed upon you by loving, yet sometimes not so gentle, big sister and cousin Nate.

  You cooed and gurgled and smiled your way right into each one of our hearts.

  Your grandparents proudly discussed you. Your gentle disposition. Your quick responsiveness. Your strong little body.

  Such a beautiful baby!

  Such a sweetly responsive little “punkin.”

  Such a treasure from heaven!

  We are all so glad that God sent you to us. We were not prepared to return you to Him so soon. We wanted to keep you—to watch you grow and mature and become all that He wanted you to be.

  But I guess He thought that you are perfect just the way you are—that you had, in such a short time, completed your mission here. You brought love and happiness and joy into our hearts and homes.

  We love you. We miss you. But even your “going” accomplished much, for it has drawn us even closer to God and to one another.

  It has reminded us again that life here on earth is so fragile—so temporary, and that we should spend time building relationships, not empires, that we should learn to treasure moments and memories, not things, that we should concern ourselves with attaining spiritual growth, not worldly gain.

  And heaven? Heaven is a much dearer place—for among all of its treasures, God has added another little jewel. You, our dear little Amanda.

  We know that you are not alone. We know that you will be well cared for. Be patient, sweetheart. The days pass quickly. It will not seem very long until your family, one by one, will join you in a far better world than the one we leave behind.

  It was so hard to say good-bye to one so small—so precious. And then there was poor little Ashley. Over the weeks that followed she nearly broke her grandma’s heart. Being much too young to understand about death, she continued to ask for Manny over and over. Then she began to have nightmares and could not sleep. There were so many times when Janette would have given almost anything to be able to place that little baby sister back into Ashley’s arms.

  “Remember how often you said that you felt God allowed you to lose Brian so that you would understand and be able to comfort others,” Lavon reminded Janette. “Well, I’m sure you never guessed it would be someone in your own family.”

  It turned out that the work at the farmhouse was good for Janette, though she often longed to just forget the whole project. But once begun, the work had to go on. Workers were coming and going, and she was needed to coordinate the action. The project was right in the middle of the heavy tasks and had to be completed before winter set in. And, too, Janette had another manuscript deadline coming very close, and she really needed the little house for writing.

  It was therapeutic for her to keep her mind active with something. The last draft of the manuscript needed to be finished by the first part of December, and she finally dismissed the last crew, deciding that the remaining renovations of the house could wait. For the time being it was usable. The manuscript was sent off to Bethany in time to meet the proposed deadline, but it certainly had been a struggle.

  Barbara had begun to pray that she would be expecting again by Christmastime. The family was pleased for her when she made her announcement. But things did not go well from the beginning. Shortly after Christmas, she miscarried. How difficult it was for her to lose two babies in such a short time.

  The following January, Janette left for Indiana. Another grandchild had arrived. Jessica Brianne had chosen a Saturday to be born, conveniently scheduling her birth around her daddy’s hectic class schedule. She was born in the evening, with Marvin’s mother and sister waiting nearby and ready to hold her. Janette arrived late Sunday evening, with Jessica and her mommy already at home to greet her.

  With the grandchildren growing, Janette began to treasure the little stories of their antics and accomplishments. This visit with Laurel and Marvin was her introduction to baby Jessica as well as a time of enjoying and discovering Nate. Although he was not yet two, Marvin had noticed one day that he could recognize all his letters and was remembering many words by sight. So when Janette arrived she came with a small set of homemade flash cards. She had included all the really important words, which he had soon mastered: Jesus, Grandma, Grandpa, Mommy, Daddy, Nate, Ashley, baby, and McDonalds. And one very special card said “Jessica”—the new little sister they were all just beginning to get to know.

  In the summer of 1988, Edward, Janette, and their boys embarked on a business venture together known as Oke Grove Publishing. They had purchased a newspaper in the nearby town of Innisfail, with Terry to manage it on their behalf. Edward was also very involved, helping with the computer work with which he had become adept. Eventually Barbara became a full-time employee as well.

  Ashley, being the only grandchild close enough to make frequent trips to see her grandparents, loved the opportunity of visiting on her own. She of course loved her own parents dearly and was always glad to see them after a few days at Grandpa and Grandma’s, but after the initial welcoming, she was quite content to let them go and leave her again, should they be so inclined. She was a good girl for Grandpa and Grandma and a great source of enjoyment. She talked early and clearly and brought many chuckles.

  Janette began a memory book in which she wrote many of the accomplishments and cute sayings of her grandchildren. Day by day the pages were filled with more and more little items of interest. Though she continued to be very busy with writing and other responsibilities, she took special delight in watching her grandchildren grow and change.

  On one occasion Ashley and Grandma were just returning from a trip to the farm, one of Ashley’s favorite outings, and as they wound their way through the streets to get to Grandma’s house, the sun suddenly shone directly into the front seat and into Ashley’s eyes.

  “Gramma, will you make the sun go back?” she asked, turning to Janette.

  She chuckled. “Do you think Grandma can
make the sun go back?”

  “Yeah.”

  Just then they rounded another corner and the sun was gone. Ashley turned again to her grandmother and said simply, “S’anks.”

  It was wonderful for Janette to be a grandmother. When little faces turned to her own, there was a particular glow in them. They seemed to say, “Grandma, you’re special.” And Janette was convinced that these little people believed there was nothing she could not do.

  Someone once said, “If I’d known grandchildren would be this much fun . . . I’d have had them first.” But there were also times when Janette was reminded of how wonderful motherhood had always been. And she often thought that she would love to have just one day with those little babies of her own—now grown.

  During the fall when their men were busy with the paper, Janette and Barbara, as well as Ashley, Orville, and Jean, drove down to Indiana to visit Lorne, Lavon, Laurel, and their families.

  The drive was a long one, especially for two-year-old Ashley. Her car seat was not comfortable for such long periods of time and was even more difficult to nap in. For most of the trip she did well, but once, totally out of sorts, she reached for the drink that Aunt Jean offered her; then looking directly into Aunt Jean’s face, she deliberately turned the cup over and poured out the contents. Aunt Jean had to be quick not to have a lap full of juice—and Ashley required a reprimand.

  When the carload arrived at the Logans’ home, Nate and Ashley flew at each other, falling to the ground in their rough hug. It was strange how, even with the long months between visits, the pair seemed to remember each other and felt that they “belonged.”

  Laurel was especially glad to have Janette arrive. Only two days before, she had been in the hospital because of a miscarriage and appreciated the comfort of having her mother nearby. Her life wisdom and gentle words helped to ease the sting of losing this child.

  The following December, just one week before Christmas, Lorne and Deb welcomed their first child. Kathryn Louise was born in Mishawaka, and not only did she have an anxious father in the delivery room, but an uncle pacing the nearby waiting room. After Katie made her appearance, the nurse bundled her up and passed her to her new daddy for inspection. When she turned back, she found that both father and newborn had disappeared.

  Without a moment’s thought, Lorne had taken his new daughter out to make acquaintance with her Uncle Lavon. The frantic nurse, eyes over her shoulder watching for a doctor, quickly shooed the new father and his daughter back where they belonged.

  Since it was Christmas, Janette and Edward planned to arrive shortly after Debbie’s baby was born. But Edward had been playing with Ashley, tossing her into the air as he loved to do, and unfortunately his back had gone out. This was just three days before they were due to fly, and the hours of sitting in an airplane were much more than he could have managed. So Janette came alone that Christmas.

  On February 23, Courtney Elizabeth was welcomed as Ashley’s new baby sister. Ashley, three years old, had just celebrated her own birthday. Now there were five little grandchildren, with an additional one already waiting safe in heaven.

  With Terry and Barbara living so close, Janette baby-sat periodically and enjoyed the chance to have tea parties and dress dollies with Ashley. Another favorite activity was to play dress up, and once the three-year-old exclaimed, “I can get so pretty and so glamious!”

  It was not as easy to get her to say good-bye. Little Ashley would plead, “I wanna stay here for a little couple whiles, Grandma.”

  In the spring of 1989, Marvin and Laurel decided to make their best effort to move closer to family and planned a job-hunting trip to Alberta. The last trip that Grandma had made had ended with such a tearful good-bye that it had raised questions in the couple’s minds about why in the world they were living so far from family. When Marvin was given an opportunity for employment in Calgary, they chose to take it.

  After officially accepting the offer, Marvin left with the understanding that they would begin their move as quickly as possible after the arrival of their expected third child. His new employer was not quite certain how to work this out in the written contract, but he seemed willing to oblige the unusual arrangement.

  Both of Laurel’s children had arrived before their due date, and she was convinced this one would follow suit. So Laurel convinced Janette to fly to Indiana two weeks short of her due date so they could “share” one of the deliveries.

  Janette arrived on Wednesday evening, and Jacquelyn Leigh arrived just after noon on Thursday. So Janette was in the delivery room, making teasing bets with Marvin as to the time of birth, and was on hand when Jackie first appeared. Even there, Grandma had her camera clicking, though she followed strict discretionary guidelines.

  The move to Canada followed when Jacquelyn was only two weeks old. Janette had suggested that she take Jessica back with her on the plane, and Laurel was grateful for her help. Jessica was a busy, energetic almost-two-year-old who did not like long car rides and was under the age limit for needing an airline ticket. The small family car would be crowded enough with four, along with the luggage needed for the trip.

  Edward and Janette had spent days house-shopping for the couple, and they suggested a little house on Allen Street in the town of Airdrie. It was perfect, halfway between Marvin’s work and Grandma’s house.

  There were regular trips to visit Grandma’s house and sometimes even a visit to her farm. At this farm there were planned events, like picnics and Easter egg hunts, but mostly it was just a few hours here and there of relaxation shared with Grandma, listening to the wrens and the chickadees, or caring for the big country garden.

  The grandkids loved the farm. They headed for the rows of carrots almost as soon as their feet touched the ground. When they had pulled themselves a carrot, almost as long as themselves from the tip of the root to the top of the feathery leaves, they scampered to the hose to wash off the dirt—or at least most of it. The rest of the day’s activities were carried on while munching the carrot.

  One summer the neighbor’s cat gave them all a wonderful surprise by coming over to Grandma’s farm to have her babies. It could not have been planned better. Six darling little kittens for six darling grandchildren. When Janette showed the cluster of preschoolers where the kittens were tucked away in her barn, they fondled and fussed over the new babies, especially Jessica who claimed the many-colored runt as her own right from the start. All summer long the kittens were a special treat at the farm. When winter neared, the neighbor girl came and collected her brood, taking them back to where they belonged.

  For the children, the farm was also a nice place where they could run and shout, with no one telling them to settle down. Just what busy, happy preschoolers needed—and during this time, Grandma was given many new anecdotes for her memory book.

  Nate loved the cows that fed in the adjoining pasture. One day he took Grandma’s hand and led her to the fence. “Look, Grandma! All those cows are for sale.”

  “Why do you say that?” she asked, puzzled.

  “They all have price tags in their ears.” Janette laughed when she realized he was referring to their identification tags.

  When evening fell at the farm, stars spread out across the enormous prairie sky and the moon hung low over the horizon.

  “It’s getting dark,” Nate stated.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “God sure is a tricky God.”

  Janette smiled. “He is?”

  “Yeah. It’s a little bit tricky to put the moon out now.” Janette raised her eyes to the glowing orb, and she had to agree.

  On another occasion when Ashley was having her turn at the farm, Janette saw a coyote and tried to point it out to the child. “Look, Ashley. There’s a coyote.”

  “Uh-uh. That’s not a coyote,” she argued with a knowing look. “Coyotes are always on a hill by the moon.”

  The farmhouse/writing studio proved to be a good purchase. Once the renovations were complete and J
anette had taken advantage of the few pieces of furniture left behind, the house took on a wonderful air of antiquity. Other antique pieces were added to complete the picture, and the result was homey and a good setting for her imagination. It was a small bit of solitude in a hurry-scurry world.

  Both Janette and Edward enjoyed the quiet retreat—even the many hours of hard work that went with cleaning up the place—the house, the outbuildings, the yard and fields. And here Janette showed her farm girl upbringing, as well as her own tenacity to stick with a plan. For many hours of back-wrenching labor, she cleared bush, dug stones, and pulled weeds. By the time she and Edward were finished, the little farm was a model of beauty and neatness.

  There were many others who helped as well. Lavon and Lorne came home in the summer and painted the barn and the pump house. It was a big task but they did a good job of it. And on a blustery, cold fall day, Terry helped shingle the double garage that Edward had built.

  Orville and Jean spent countless hours helping clean up the yard, but it had all been worth it. Only bird songs and the lament of coyotes broke the stillness. And Janette had so faithfully and patiently fed the little birds that the chickadees would fly down and eat right out of her hand.

  But even with everything that had already been done, there were always things to do at the farm. Edward built new doors for the barn and new steps for both the front and back porches. Janette added landscaping, decorated inside, and spent hours in the little office over the kitchen.

  Sometimes, while the grandchildren were visiting, they would share in Grandma’s activities. Sitting beside her in the kitchen was always a good time to chat.

  “Grandma, can I have a peach?” Ashley asked, eyeing the fruit basket that usually sat on the kitchen table.

  “Remember, I told you they aren’t ripe yet,” Janette reminded.