Happy Ant-Heap

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by Norman Lewis


  Colonel Irwin took his seat to a strong rumble of applause.

  The questioning was now at an end. Alain was still manoeuvring for a better shot of the General, who had momentarily opened his eyes but only to settle in a more comfortable position. Colonel Irwin had taken his seat again and the chair vacant until this moment was now occupied by a Christian Businessman, who along with several other applicants had been able to book a brief counselling session with him. Moments later I was surprised at the approach of the steward with Arthur at his heels to inform me that, as a guest of the General, I was among those to be favoured in this way. ‘You’re next,’ he said. ‘You have five minutes, and remember no reference is to be made to the postal covers.’ This was an illusion to the scandal about the 400 envelopes, imprinted 2 August 1971, taken without permission aboard Apollo 15 and, as the Colonel had admitted in his autobiography, cancelled ‘with our own cancellation device which worked in a vacuum’ and sold to a German dealer. The proceeds, Irwin had stated in mitigation, were to be devoted to ‘our children’s education’. It was a mistake that overshadowed his subsequent career and it may have been this crisis that convinced him to devote the rest of his life to his mission.

  At close quarters the Colonel seemed to possess the good looks of a mature film actor, with a muscular physique and small eyes narrowed as if in scrutiny of some not necessarily acceptable object. His manner, however, was genial. I received a hard handshake accompanied by what might have passed in mission circles as no more than a routine politeness—the question, ‘Are you saved?’ Just out of earshot the steward stood, his eye on his watch. So I was really to be allowed no more than five minutes to know anything more than the newspapers had said of this man’s huge adventure. His book, To Rule the Night, does little more than sketch this in against a background of the commonplaces of an average life and the humdrum religiosity with which the author attempts to advance his beliefs. From this there are rare escapes, as in that tremendous moment when on its re-entry the spacecraft is 42,587 miles from the earth, appearing as a thin illuminated sliver in the black sky.

  Irwin denied in our talk that he had experienced loneliness at any time during the flight. ‘I entered into consciousness of the Lord’s presence.’ Smilingly he went on to describe God as his Mission Director. It was a designation he had used in the book he had written when he was grounded after a heart attack. ‘It was God taking charge again,’ he wrote. ‘My Mission Director was changing my flight plan.’

  Time, I realised, was almost up. Just below us more steak was being rushed to the Christian Businessmen. The President’s head had fallen on his chest and, arm thrust up, the steward tapped urgently on his watch. We rose to our feet, and Irwin took my hand in a crushing grip. His wide smile was pleasant and reassuring. ‘The Lord can be your Mission Director, too,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you just call on him?’

  1997

  About the Author

  Norman Lewis (1908–2003) was one of the greatest English-language travel writers. He was the author of thirteen novels and fourteen works of nonfiction, including Naples ’44, The Tomb in Seville, and Voices of the Old Sea. Lewis served in the Allied occupation of Italy during World War II, and reported from Mafia-ruled Sicily and Vietnam under French-colonial rule, among other locations. Born in England, he traveled extensively, living in places including London, Wales, Nicaragua, a Spanish fishing village, and the countryside near Rome.

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook onscreen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

  ‘God Bless the Squire’ and ‘Love at all Costs’ were first published in Granta; ‘Boris Giuliano’, ‘The Snakes of Cocullo’, ‘The Happy Ant-Heap’, ‘Where the Mafia Brings Peace’ and ‘Back to the Stone Age’ in the Independent Magazine; ‘A Goddess Round Every Corner’ in Departures; ‘Looking Down the Wells’ in Condé Nast Traveller; ‘Namek’s Smoked Ancestor’ in GQ Magazine; and ‘Guatemala Revisited’ in Punch.

  Copyright © 1998 by Norman Lewis

  Cover design by Kelly Parr

  978-1-4804-3334-2

  This edition published in 2013 by Open Road Integrated Media

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  www.openroadmedia.com

  EBOOKS BY NORMAN LEWIS

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