"For fuck's sake, people. If we wanted to sit at the curb and converse for twenty minutes, we would've caught a ride with Sam," Patrick said.
"Sam doesn't have room for us," Andy said. "He has the baby and Ellie. Remember?"
"I'm not interested in those details," Patrick replied. "But if this is the pace we're going, I could walk to Shannon's house faster."
Andy rolled her eyes while Lauren rocked in silent laughter. "Then you should do that, Patrick. Get out and jog alongside the car."
I settled into my seat and put the car in gear. "Doesn't get any merrier than this."
* * *
"White or red, Lauren?" Riley asked, a bottle in each hand as we settled into Shannon's dining room.
"You know, I think I'll stick with water," she replied.
Riley chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, that's funny but really," he said. "White or red?"
She shrugged as if she declined wine every day. "I think I'll skip the wine for now. I'll have some later."
"None of my special holiday creations last night, no wine with dinner," Riley said. "What's happening to you? Are you dying? Are you doing some fucked-up cleanse where you stop eating and drinking the best things in life?" He clutched the bottles to his chest. "Holy Hannah, are you pregnant?"
"Finally!" Judy shrieked and pressed her hands to her chest. "Is it true, Lolo?"
Abby and Dave took this as an invitation to join the shrieking from their side-by-side high chairs, and it dawned on me that our child would be joining them soon enough.
"I knew it," Tiel said with a fist pump. "You little secret-keeper."
"What are you talking about?" Lauren cried. "You guys are crazy. Stop it. I skip drinks all the time."
Shannon stared at her from the far end of the table. "Never once," she said, holding up a finger. "You have never once declined a drink. Don't you remember the time we went out for dinner and instead of leaving a half-finished cocktail, you emptied Abby's sippy cup and dumped your drink in there?"
"I don't see the issue with that," Lauren said.
"Neither do I. It's conservation," Andy added. "The best thing about having kids is the sippy-cup-cocktail routine."
"There might be a few other things," Nick said.
"Hey, Matt," Sam called. "You're gripping that fork damn hard. This might be a good time to think about putting it down, taking a breath, blinking."
Riley reached over and relieved me of the utensil. "I'm gonna look after this for you."
"I know pregnant boobs," Tiel said with a pointed look at Lauren's cleavage. "Pregnant boobs don't lie."
When I recovered from the quick snap of shock from Riley beating us to this announcement, I glanced over at Lauren. She had a tight smile plastered on her face and her hand flattened on her abdomen.
"This wasn't the plan," she whispered.
"It's never your plan, Sweetness."
Her shoulders shook with laughter. "You're always rearranging my plans."
"Hardly." I took her hand in mine and glanced up at our family. "Yes, we are having a baby."
"It is about time," Judy said. "I can't wait. Cannot wait! I'm just thrilled. Let's get some champagne."
"Yeah, you do that," Lauren said. "I'm having the baby but the rest of you should definitely celebrate with alcoholic beverages while I watch. That makes perfect sense."
"Is anyone else pregnant? Are there any other announcements?" Shannon asked, one hand on her lower back, the other waving at the people seated around her table. "Let's get it all out now. I can't do multiple rounds of this. We can discuss and eat at the same time."
The collective gaze shifted from Riley and Alex to Patrick and Andy and then Nick and Erin.
"Don't look at us," Erin said. "We already earned our big holiday dinner announcement badge last year. We're good on that front."
"Yeah, I think we're maxed out on announcements. The secret marriage was plenty," Nick said. "We're good."
"My pants are zipped," Riley said. "That's the best I have for you today."
"Let's get back to Matt and Lauren," Andy said. "When is this baby arriving?"
"Early July," Lauren said. "My plan is to make it through the school year."
"There you go again with the plans," I murmured.
"This is the best news I've heard all day," Judy said. "Isn't this the best, Bill? We need some champagne."
The Commodore's gaze settled on me for a long, painful moment where it was obvious he was fighting off the knowledge that I'd defiled his daughter. "It's wonderful news," he said. "I'll rustle up the bubbly, Judy, don't you worry."
"You get the champagne," Shannon said as she pushed to her feet. "This kid is killing me. I need to walk around. I'll grab some sparkling water so Lauren doesn't feel left out."
My father-in-law followed Shannon into the kitchen but not before tossing a sharp glimpse at me over his shoulder. I didn't think anyone else noticed as they were too busy lavishing my wife with well wishes but I saw it.
"Your dad wants to kill me," I whispered to Lauren.
"No, he doesn't," she replied. "He's stoic, that's all."
I was about to disagree with her but then glass shattered in the kitchen. Shannon cried out and Will was on his feet, sprinting into the next room with all of us in tow. We found her hunched over with the Commodore at her side, a broken bottle at her feet.
"What the hell happened here?" Will asked.
Andy picked her way through the crush of people and bent to collect the chunks of broken glass. "Let's handle this first," she said. "No one move. Keep the dogs and kids in the other room. We'll get everything cleaned up." She spared a look at Shannon. "Are you doing all right, mama?"
"My water broke," Shannon said through a groan.
Beside me, Alex and Nick exchanged a glance. "This one is all you," she whispered to him. "I don't know the first thing about childbirth."
"Bullshit," Nick mouthed. "That's really fuckin' false, Alex."
"What?" Will roared. "What are you talking about, Shannon? We have three more weeks and—"
"And this kid doesn't give a fuck," Shannon replied. "I started having contractions last night—"
"What do you mean you've been having contractions since last night? You didn't think to mention that highly critical news to me?" Will asked.
On my other side, Lauren rested her head on my shoulder. "One of these years, we'll have a low-key holiday," she murmured.
"When did this start?" Will asked. "While we were in the city or after—"
"After," Shannon yelled. "After we came home and had that long conversation." She shot a fierce, pointed glare in his direction. "I didn't want to alert you because you know that I usually have light contractions after vigorous conversations."
Behind me, Riley asked, "Does anyone else think conversation might be code for something?"
"I don't think we're meant to ask questions right now," Lauren said to him.
"That was eighteen hours ago," Will said.
"They slowed down," Shannon said. "But then they sped up."
"I haven't delivered a baby since my first year of residency," Alex whispered. "You take this, Acevedo. Call me when there's a peptic ulcer or some diverticulitis. Hell, I'll treat stomach viruses and acid reflux before I'll deliver a baby."
"Goddamn it, Shannon," Will said, groaning.
"You two aren't making me feel any better about this situation," I said to Nick and Alex. "Shouldn't you do something?"
Nick clapped me on the back. "I'm on it, Walsh. Don't worry."
Shannon cried out and wrapped both hands around Will's arm. He ran his free hand down her back, whispering something I couldn't hear. Nick stepped away from us and edged around Andy as she cleaned up the broken bottle. He moved to Shannon's side, and rested one hand on her back and one on her belly.
"That one was for real," she said, her cheeks flushed and breath coming fast.
"Yes, it was." Nick glanced at his watch. "We should go. I don't want you
to progress much farther."
Andy dropped the shards into a paper bag, and in that moment, the clink and crunch of glass was the only sound in the kitchen. Then, everyone talked at once while I watched in stunned silence.
Judy: We need to get you out of those wet clothes, sweetheart.
Lauren: Where's the hospital bag? Nevermind, I'll find it myself.
Will: Do you really think we have time for a wardrobe change, Judy?
Patrick: What is happening right now?
Shannon: I need the blanket. The little one with the purple elephants.
The Commodore: I'll pull the car around.
Erin: I'll find the elephants.
Alex: I'll give your doctor a call.
Tiel: I'll grab some towels. You can never have too many towels after your water breaks.
Patrick: No, really. What's happening?
Sam: Is anyone getting a mop? Because…you know…someone should do that.
Ellie: I'm taking Abby and Dave into the playroom. We're gonna learn some tunes and pretend everyone isn't screaming.
Will: I have to call Shaw. Where's my phone?
Nick: Would someone grab my medical kit out of the car?
Patrick: Someone tell me what's going on.
Shannon: It's in your motherfucking hand, Will.
Riley: Should we boil some water? Isn't that what you're supposed to do?
Erin: Purple elephants!
Judy: I have a change of clothes!
Alex: She doesn't need a cup of tea, babe.
Sam: I don't think we're paying enough attention to the mop situation.
Patrick: So, it's happening right now? Now now?
Riley: I'm pretty sure we're supposed to boil water.
Lauren: Where do you think babies comes from, Patrick?
Erin: Let me take your bracelets and necklaces, Shannon. I'll put them upstairs. You don't need them getting in your way.
Nick: The only reason to boil water is to give the father a chore when he's in the way.
Will: We're going right now.
Sam: Okay, so we're ignoring the floors?
The Commodore: Got the kit, Doc.
Shannon: I'm not leaving yet. I'm not ready.
Will: What, you'd like to wait another eighteen hours?
Shannon: I want to take a shower and spend some time with Abby and—
Nick: This baby has a different plan, Shannon.
Riley: I'll boil the water. Just in case.
Sam: Fuck it. I'm getting the bleach.
Tiel: We'll stay with Abby tonight. Don't worry about a thing.
Will: Peanut. Now.
Erin: You've got this. Go. We'll see you soon.
The chaos migrated from the kitchen to the foyer and then into Will's SUV while I stood by, struck by the panic of it all. I wasn't ready for this.
"This is going to be us," Lauren whispered.
I tugged her closer to me. This moment felt too bright, too fast, and I didn't know how to respond. "Hopefully we won't follow this exact playbook." My stomach churned at the thought.
"We'll see," she said with a laugh.
"No, Miss Honey," I replied. "You're not allowed to go into labor without telling me."
"You're going to be fine," Lauren said, squeezing my hand. "We are going to be just fine."
We stood at the door, watching as the SUV's tail lights faded from sight.
"What's the etiquette here? Can we finish eating?" Riley asked, looking at each of us. "I think Shannon would want us to enjoy this meal. It's not like we can do anything right now. She's the one with the vagina and baby and all of those things. We can't help with the birthing of the child. We can support her by enjoying this delicious dinner, and once it's finished, we can go to the hospital and meet Tinkerbelle."
Andy gasped. "It's a girl? You knew? When did Shannon tell you?"
Riley waved his arms at her. "Out of everything I just said, that's what you heard?"
"I vote that we eat," Patrick said, his hand raised.
Riley pointed at Patrick. "Optimus is the boss. We have to do what he says."
"My god, don't repeat that," Sam muttered. "He might start to believe it."
Chapter Fourteen
Nick
"Coordinates?" the Commodore asked as he pulled out of the driveway.
"Just get on the damn highway, Dad," Will snapped, his phone pressed to his ear. "Shaw, unless you're handling an international incident, I expect a call back in the next minute. And if you are handling an incident, call me back and then call Kaisall."
"Boston," Shannon yelled. "Head for the city. I'll give you directions to the women's hospital from there."
She was sandwiched between Judy and me in the back seat, and I had both hands on her belly. I was counting the seconds—we were on a seconds basis here—between spasms but I wasn't convinced I had the timing right. It couldn't be right. She couldn't be progressing this fast. But seconds later, I felt her muscles tighten again.
"We don't have time," I said.
"We're going to make time." Her eyes flashed with panic. "You don't get to tell me there's no time," she continued, waving her hands to the side, tears filling her eyes.
"There are thresholds to this, Shannon," I said. "This baby is coming very quickly, and I can't promise we have the time to get you to Brigham. It's on the far side of the Back Bay. That's another half hour that I don't believe we have, and we'd drive right past Mass General on the way. Let me call Hartshorn, and he'll page everyone in OB. We'll take great care of you."
"But I don't want that," Shannon wailed, tears spilling over. "I want my hospital and my doctor and my plan, and this isn't that."
"And I don't want you delivering your baby in the back seat of this car," I said.
Will shifted in his seat, the phone still at his ear, and stared at Shannon. "Peanut," he said, desperation heavy in his tone. "Please. I know it's not what you want, and hell, it's not what I want either, but listen to Nick right now."
"Look at me, sweetheart." Judy tucked Shannon's hair over her ears. "We're going to do this, and it's going to be all right. Just hold my hand."
We were flying down the highway, driving faster than seemed safe or possible with snow falling in heavy sheets. "You'll have to push soon," I said. "You don't want to do that here."
"Okay," Shannon said, sniffling. "But I want to state, one more time, that this is not what I wanted."
"And I want to state that it won't happen again," Will replied.
"Again?" Shannon yelled. "You think we're doing this again? The first chance I get, I'm cutting off your balls and making lawn ornaments with them."
"Oh really?" Will replied. "First chance I get, I'm going to remind you that I was right. I told you that you were doing too much, I told you to sit the fuck down, and I told you to stop pushing yourself. If you did what you were told, we wouldn't be in this position."
"If you want to talk to me about this position, you can do it while you suck my dick," she said.
"No, Shannon, I can't fucking do that right now because I need to reroute the security team I had in place at the other hospital," he said. "Forgive me, but I'll have to catch your dick later."
"Why the fuck do you have a security team in place?" she asked. "Goddamn it, Commando. There are too many issues to list right now."
"Why wouldn't I have a team?" he replied.
"I know this is your normal, but it would be great if y'all could scream at each other a little less," I said. I caught Shannon's eye as I pressed my fingers to the pulse point in her wrist. "We don't need your heart rate and blood pressure going through the roof."
"My blood pressure would be fine if it weren't for the mansplainer in the front seat," she said.
"Your blood pressure would be fine if you listened to reason from time to fucking time," Will replied.
The Commodore whistled and pointed at Will. "This is one of the instances in life where your opinions are less useful than rubber dog shit, and
I've never found a use for rubber dog shit," he said. "Shut it, or I'll leave you on the side of the road. Don't forget that I outrank you."
"As if I could forget," Will muttered.
"Let's talk about names," Judy suggested as she massaged Shannon's abdomen. "Which ones are on your list, sweetheart?"
"Stop trying to find out the sex, Judy," Will said, furiously stabbing at his phone as he spoke. He pressed the device to his ear, still fuming. "Shaw, I mean it when I say I'll fly to Virginia and beat the snot out of you tonight if you don't call me back immediately."
"Leave Shaw out of this," Shannon said. "We do not need a military unit on standby. We didn't have one with Abby."
"If that's what you want to believe, let yourself believe it," he murmured.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Would it kill you to run any of this shit by me before—" Shannon shrieked as another contraction hit. "I fucking hate you right now, Commando."
Will tossed his phone to the center console and shifted in his seat to take both of her hands in his. "Give it to me. Come on, Peanut, I have you."
I pulled my phone from my pocket and wedged it between my ear and shoulder while Judy and I rubbed Shannon's lower back through the worst of the spasms. The first and second calls went to voicemail, a sure sign that Hartshorn was in surgery. That was not the way I wanted this situation to pan out. I tried a few other numbers, but they all went to voicemail or the surgical answering service system. With a reluctant sigh, I called the only other doctor I knew to be working tonight.
"Doctor Stremmel," he answered.
"Hey," I replied, stretching the word out as I made peace with this decision. I had to remind myself that he was the top trauma surgeon on the West Coast, and we were lucky to have him and his piss-pleasant attitude. "It's Nick Acevedo."
"The wonders of caller ID notified me of this before I answered," he replied. "What can I do for you, Doctor Acevedo?"
"You're holding down the Emergency Department, right? How's the board tonight? Busy? What's going on?"
"Yes, empty, slow, and not much. In that order," he replied.
"I'm heading in with my sister-in-law, Shannon. She's thirty-seven weeks and in active labor with contractions about fifty seconds apart."
Thresholds Page 14