by J Bree
On Sunday morning Avery leaves for ballet practice and I force Blaise into the shower. I threaten to drag him and then scrub him myself but I’m lying through my teeth because there is no way I’d survive a shower with him. No way. My panties would disintegrate. Eventually we come to an agreement where I’ll let him smoke a joint if he takes the damn shower. While he’s busy, I open every window to get our room to stop smelling like a bar.
I cook him pancakes and when he’s finished eating I hand him a coffee and a bowl of ice cream. He pulls a face but takes them. I sit with him at the kitchen counter and enjoy my own cup quietly until he breaks the silence.
“What’s your earliest memory, Mounty? No wait, don’t answer that. It’s probably really fucking bad and I’ll feel like a pussy for comparing.”
I chuckle at him and shove the bowl of ice cream at him. He lights his joint and sucks on it like it’s the answer to all his problems, blowing the smoke out the window. The smell of it sparks the memory he’s asking for.
“My mom rolling joints on the back steps to our house. It was too hot to move and I kept crying and pissing her off so she filled a bucket with water and dumped me in it. I think she was trying to be cruel but it was the best feeling ever.”
Blaise smiles and huffs out a breath. “My father’s office. A modernist nightmare of cold steel and crisp white boxes. I’ve fallen asleep on his weird couch, that doesn’t even have cushions, under his suit jacket. I wake up but I keep my eyes shut because even at five years old I know that when my parents talk in that hushed secret way they’re talking about me. My mom is telling my dad that ‘normal’ children can’t read by age five and to lower his expectations. My father says he’s sure I’m actually retarded. His ethics board would shit themselves if they knew how he speaks to me. He has a whole list of words he likes to use in my direction because he was born with an IQ of 190 and I’m…so fucking average. I remember I cried and he looked so disgusted at me. Said I’d probably turn out to be a faggot too. Imagine every derogatory word in the book and that man has thrown it at me and the worst part…the fucking stupidest thing is I still care. I still hate that I don’t measure up.”
I finally see the damage. I always knew he was a lonely sort of guy, his lyrics make your chest ache in a way that can only come from heartbreak, but I didn’t understand how he fit in with Harley and the twins until now. His life may not have been in danger but his soul was. I want to add his dad to the planner. I want to hunt that man down and say hi with my knife but the longing in Blaise’s voice is an echo of my own. It’s the echo of a little kid praying that someday their parents will love them enough to stop hurting them.
My mom didn’t stop hurting me until she stopped breathing. I have a feeling his dad will be the same.
“Eat your fucking ice cream, Morrison. Do we need to hug? It’s not really my thing but I'll give it a go for you.”
He bursts out laughing and finally lifts his spoon. I can breathe again because I have a feeling he’s finally taken a step away from the ledge. When he finishes he slings an arm around my shoulder and whispers in my ear, “How about a song, Mounty? Sing me something with that voice of yours that's so good you can beat me in choir.”
Ain’t that a bucket of ice over my head? I gulp. “Ah, sorry. I have severe stage fright. Avery and I are working on it.”
He groans and pulls away from me. I try not to crawl after him pathetically but really. When he grabs his guitar and his lyric book I stop breathing altogether.
“I’ll have to give you a private concert then, Mounty. I’ve been working on some songs, tell me what you think.”
Be still my fucking heart.
Chapter Twenty
Blaise’s sabbatical ends on Monday and I’ve never been so fucking happy to go to classes. I’m still twitchy from being locked up with him for so long. Not that he was a problem, it’s just hard to contain your hormones when a sinfully hot guy is lounging over all of your furniture with too much skin on display. He sleeps in boxer shorts and nothing else. I’d wake up, see the tattoos and the abs, and have to flee to take the coldest showers possible.
My teachers all ask if I’m feeling better and I play along with Avery’s lies like a pro. It helps that I’m the top of every class, except choir, and I’m still managing to keep six weeks ahead in all my assignments.
After class I have tutoring with Ash and Lance in the library and my good mood fizzles out a little when I see the cheerful smile on the other Mounty’s face. Ash is nowhere to be seen, thank God, because Lance has brought me flowers. No, not just flowers, he’s bought me fucking roses. He holds them out to me and I shake my head at him.
“I’m not taking these. We’re not friends, I don’t want anything more, don’t buy me flowers.”
Lance’s smile doesn’t falter as he drops the roses on top of his bag on the floor. “I didn’t think you’d like them but I thought I was worth a try. I have a proposal for you! I’m glad your scowling friend isn’t here so we can talk just between us Mounties.”
My skin crawls. I don’t know what it is about him that creeps me out so much but I find myself looking around for Ash. Of all the days for him to skip tutoring! I send him an irritated text, which he ignores. Fuck him.
“I’ve heard about the little bet you’re at the center of. I thought it was all in good fun but then I heard about how much money is in the pot and, well, I think we should come to an agreement.”
I lean back in my chair as I grit my teeth. An agreement? Should we sign a contract before he sticks his dick in me? I’ve changed my mind, I want to stab him. He’s not a good guy, he’s a nice guy—the type that expect sex for basic human decency. Well, you little asshole, you picked the wrong fucking tree to bark up.
“Fuck no. Are we going to study or can I leave?”
He leans his chest over the table towards me and I have to fight off a full body twitch at the sickening smell of his cologne. Jesus, did he bathe in it?! The smile stays plastered on his face. “Sex between friends. We can have some fun and get a million dollars each out of it.”
“I’m choosing to take the high road and not break your arm for suggesting we fuck for money,” I snap and I stand up because fuck tutoring him, he can struggle through math by himself.
I make it three steps away from the desk before he calls out to me, loud enough for the entire library to hear, “I looked you up, you know. I know you’re from the south side of the city, near the docks. What’s one more cock when you’ve already serviced hundreds? I’d risk a quick fuck for a ticket out of here.”
I hear a snort of laughter and death glare the little rich dick at the next table over. When I’m sure my voice will be level, I turn back to him and say, “You’re going to regret that.”
He just keeps fucking smiling and I walk, with a calm I don’t feel, back to the girls dorms.
It takes me three tries to get the key to work and once I’m into our room I let my rage out. I fling my bag on my bed and kick out of my shoes so they go flying while cursing up a storm. I rip my blazer off and when my hands grip the bottom of my shirt, ready to yank it off, buttons be-fucking-damned, I hear a throat clearing and find Avery and all three guys sitting at the kitchen bench. Avery arches an eyebrow at me with a little smile but the guys are all gaping at my temper tantrum. Fuck this. I need a shower.
“Fuck today, fuck this school, and fuck every fucking knuckle-scraping, chest-beating, egotistical piece of shit guy in this fucking hellhole!” I yell and slam the bathroom door. I tear the rest of my clothes off and get into the shower, screaming a little like the dramatic petal I am today. Fuck, maybe the dramatics are contagious and Blaise fucking infected me? What a dick.
I’m scrubbing my skin like a psycho when Avery pops into the room. She didn’t knock but I also didn’t lock the door. She crosses her arms and leans against the bathroom cabinet.
“Tell me what’s happened so I can go set the guys on whichever loser pissed you off.”
I g
roan and duck under the stream of water to try and cool my head off. Avery taps a foot and I glare at her with no real heat. “Lance tried to convince me to fuck him for the money. Told me it was our tickets out of here and he’d make it good for me. When I said no he told me he knew I was from the slums and he wasn’t exactly thrilled at having to fuck a well used gash but he’d push through.”
Avery cocks her head. “And that’s pissed you off? This badly? Ash has probably said worse to you and Blaise definitely has.”
I grunt and turn the water off. When she arches an eyebrow at me I huff back at her. “Maybe I’m just PMS-ing.”
She side-eyes me as I dry off. I grit my teeth, “Fine. It bothers me because he’s so…nice. He’s never said a word wrong to me all year and now suddenly he’s trying to cut a deal to fuck me. Ash and Blaise have always been honest. If they hate me, they say it. If they think I’m fucking half of Mounts Bay, they say it. They don’t buy me red fucking roses like it’ll get them a pass into my fucking panties.”
Avery cackles and shakes her head. “Roses? Seriously? He’s as clueless as the rest of the boys trying to court you.”
I pause as I pull my booty shorts on. “Who the fuck is trying to court me?”
“Exactly.” Avery says, pointing at me. “They’re so clueless you’ve missed their attempts. What would it take for you to even notice a guy?”
I blush all the way down to my freaking toes. Harley’s voice pops into my head and provides me with his little one liner, I had to get your attention somehow.
I decline a plate of the curry Avery ordered in and go straight for a tub of ice cream, no bowl just a spoon. Harley watches me carefully as I take a seat next to Avery and wallow in my rage.
“You gonna share with the class whose fault it is you’re pissy or just attempt a diabetic coma?”
I shove a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth and flip him off. Ash snorts at me and I glare at him. “Thanks for skipping, by the way. I had to deal with the little creep by myself,” I say around my mouthful.
Ash smirks at me. “I didn’t realize you needed backup, I thought your knife was enough.”
I seethe. I seethe and eat ice cream, licking my spoon like it has the answers to this shit.
“Stop tongue fucking the spoon. Some of us are going through a dry spell.” Harley grumbles and I flick a cherry at him, ignoring his little jab.
Avery tucks her arm into mine and says, sweetly, “Lance offered his services to end the bet. When Lips declined his offer he took it upon himself to try and persuade her. Alas, the great and complex mind of Eclipse unknown-middle-name Anderson remains an unsolvable puzzle to mere mortal men.”
Blaise takes a swig of the beer, the first he’s been allowed, and moans, obscenely. “What a dick. Maybe you should just fuck someone and get it over with. Might lighten your mood.”
Harley’s eyes narrow dangerously at him and when he opens his mouth I give him my most severe look. I don’t need the epic piles of bullshit I’ll have to face if he blabs about my fucking virtue.
He grits his teeth and changes tactics, looking around the table at everyone. “We decided Lips is in, right? Avery and I vouched for her, Blaise has come around, and Ash may still be a stubborn dick but we all know she’s in. So, are we going to accept some dickhead chasing her tail, begging for sex, or are we going to remind the sheep of where they belong?”
My chest tightens and I fix my eyes on the pristine white surface of the kitchen counter. Avery squeezes my arm but I’m shocked when it’s Ash that speaks. “We’ve gone from three people on the planner to pure fucking bedlam. Joey, Harlow, Annabelle, Lance, dozens of little bitches from the stupid fucking website. We need to get on the same page and decide what our priorities are. Is Lance going to be an issue?”
I clear my throat. “No. I’m pissed but I’m not in any real danger.”
Blaise opens another beer and points the bottle at me with a slow, dirty smirk. “I’ll beat the disrespectful little fuck for you.”
Harley scoffs. “Only if you get to him first.”
Avery laughs and leans in to whisper to me, “Better than roses, right?”
I scrub a hand over my face to try and hide the blush. Like I need Avery teasing me about my stupid crush…well, crushes. I think I’d like roses if they came from one of these three. No, that’s a lie. Flowers are stupid, but I’d appreciate the effort. Nope, still a lie. I wish I were the type of girl that wants flowers because then maybe I’d be the type of girl Harley, Blaise, or, dammit, Ash would want to have for more than sex. Ugh. I’m going to kill Blaise for turning me into a whining bitch.
“Joey?” Blaise asks and when Ash opens his mouth I cut him off sharply. I have a plan.
“I’m on it. Next?”
“Harlow?”
Avery hums softly and says, “She’ll dig her own grave eventually. Same goes with Devon. The real problem is Annabelle.”
All eyes are on Blaise as he fidgets with the bottle cap from his beer. When no one speaks I think, fuck it, and dive in.
“Do we need her to disappear? I…can make that happen.”
I refuse to look at anyone except Avery. She doesn’t blink or flinch, her face doesn’t show even the tiniest bit of fear or disgust, as she looks at me with cool calculation because she really is deciding if Annabelle Summer’s needs to be removed from the board.
“So you really do have gangster connections then?” Blaise grumbles and I flinch before I can rein it in.
Harley punches him in the arm and he groans. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it like that, Mounty, just…I know nothing about where you come from. I guess Avery does and Harley obviously knows something but I’m trying to figure out how the fuck a sixteen-year-old girl can calmly, casually, offer to end someone’s life. Fuck, it’s not even the killing. It’s the mundane tone, like you’ve killed a bunch of other girls for pissing in your Cheerios.”
I swallow roughly. “I know a lot of people from all different walks of life. Some of them are gangsters. I am not a member of any gangs, I do not fuck members of any gangs, and I do not owe loyalty in any manner to any gangs.”
Harley scrubs his hand over the back of his neck. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. We can’t kill her. She’s a dumb, manipulative bitch but she’s not Joey. If we’re killing anyone it’s him.”
“No one is killing Joey,” Ash snaps and I guess that’s the end of that.
Harley is running late for his swimming practice and Avery leaves for ballet soon at the same time, Ash slings a casual arm over her shoulder to walk her down.
Blaise asks for help with his assignments and I’ve calmed down enough to help him out. After a full hour of work, I stretch out my shoulders and risk asking him the one question that’s been bothering me since his dad’s letters were leaked.
“When did Annabelle get the documents? Avery said they had to be recent photos because they were dated right up until the day they were released.”
Blaise cringes and I frown at him. “Really? Really?! It’s almost like you want to be sixteen and pregnant. Will you take the baby on tour?” I snark and instantly regret it when his face falls.
“I didn’t have sex with her! I just let her in the room so she could cry on the couch. I didn’t know what to do, I’m not good at saying no to crying girls! I’ve been…frustrated lately. I made a shit decision because of it. I’m not exactly known for my clear head.”
I snort at him and keep writing. He fidgets with his pen, his fingers twitchy and his face is drawn. “If you can’t settle down and focus we can leave this for the night. Your assignment is done and we’re making good progress on the workbooks. The couple of days we took off won’t affect your GPA.”
He nods but his eyes stay on the door. I sigh and sit back in my chair.
“What is it? Just spit it out.”
He grunts and rubs his hands over his face. “I want something. I can’t have it. I’m not good at not getting what I want. I know you’re going to bitch me o
ut for being a spoiled rich kid but it’s the truth.”
I could do that. It’s obvious he’s been given everything on a silver platter his entire life and you could say this is finally karma happening for his shitty treatment of me. But I like talking to him, I like that he’s opening up to me so I choose to be empathetic. I know a lot about not getting what I want. Plus, knowing his home life is actually pretty similar to mine growing up has given us a weird thing to bond over.
“That sucks. I’m sorry.”
He blinks at me and then groans. “I was kind of hoping you would bitch me out. Then I’d have a distraction.”
I shrug and say, “I can if you want but wouldn’t you rather talk about it?”
“I’d rather get fucking drunk and play my guitar. Harley’s banned me from playing in our room because he’s sick of my, quote, sulky tantrum whining. Apparently, I should be over this by now.”
I chuckle at that and pack up his papers and supplies. “Go grab your guitar and you can crash on the couch tonight. Avery moved the booze to the cupboard on top of the fridge. I’ll have a shower and mix cocktails when I’m out if you want.”
His face lights up and then falls in an instant. He stands and slings his bag over his shoulder and scuffs his boot along the floor. “Fuck, Mounty. I would. I fucking would.”
I sigh and nod slowly, taking his hand to stand. “But Ash would be pissed if he found out you were still sleeping here?”
“I’m making a lot of my decisions based on what my friends would think at the moment,” he mumbles.