by J Bree
“Now, I know you're going to want to run off to the principal or Joey to tattle on me but remember this: Avery Beaumont runs the cleanups at Hannaford. Joey’s too fucking high to manage anything and Trevelen is bought and paid for. He belongs to us. You'll wear this warning and you'll swallow your pride because if you don’t, next time I’ll take your head instead of just your hair.”
I throw the fistful of locks on her chest and I walk out without looking back. Ash takes one look at me and follows me as I stalk out of the girls’ dorms.
I pull my phone out and text Avery the details.
My arms are shaking.
The dark part of my heart, the inky black stain that lets me become the Wolf, grows and becomes something wild. I’ve never used it to keep someone else safe like this before. It’s the first time I haven’t felt dirty for using it. Avery Beaumont will wake up tomorrow because I’m suspicious and have the gut instinct of a seasoned FBI agent. I’ve never been so relieved to be so damaged.
I stumble and Ash grabs my arm to steady me. He looks down at me with unreadable eyes and I just stare back at him, open and honest about what I’ve done. I mean, I’m covered in blood. There’s no hiding that.
“Come to my room. You can clean up there before you see Avery,” He says, his voice low and raspy. I nod and let him lead me to the boys’ dorms. There’s a lot of eyes on me as I walk one step behind Ash. At first I think it’s the blood, that would make any normal person curious, but then as we make it into the dorms I spot Lance and his frown. My chest tightens like a vise. Of course none of these rich assholes care about some blood. They’re all pissy because they think I’m about to fuck Ash and let him win the goddamn sweep.
I should have gone back to my own room.
“Take a photo of her right now, Smithson, and you’ll never walk again. Do you think your father will still love you if you’re not on the State Track team?” sneers Ash and suddenly the room is moving and no one is looking my way. I can breathe again.
We stop outside a door at the end of the hall while Ash unlocks it. He has the same lock system as Avery and I. She must’ve organized it. Then he steps aside to beckon me into the room.
It’s fucking surreal.
The room is the exact same layout as the one Avery and I share but with an extra Cal King. There isn't a doubt in my mind over who sleeps where. Ash’s bed is immaculately made, dark bedding, his nightstand only holding a phone charger and a pair of glasses.
Harley's bed is also perfectly made but he has a patchwork blanket on the end and books overflowing from the nightstand. At the foot of his bed there's a bookshelf with even more books.
And then there's the messy nest that Blaise sleeps in. Everything looks clean enough but I can still see the exact position he must've woken up in etched into the pillows and blankets. There's a guitar hanging over his bed and picks everywhere. Tantalizing, there's an open notebook on the pillow and I can see his writing and little pictures all over the pages. His lyric book. Fuck me. He’s been sharing little snippets with me for months but it’s still tempting as fuck to look.
I do a double take when I see the photo I gave Avery for Christmas on the wall in their kitchen, framed and placed where they’d all see it every day. My heart does a weird little flip in my chest and I have to look away.
“I'll grab you something to change into, the towels are under the sink. Use whatever you need.” Ash says as he moves around the room. He doesn't look at me and I'm worried he's regretting bringing me here.
“I can go. Aves seen me worse than this, she's fine.”
He snorts and flicks the coffee machine on. My stomach rumbles. I missed out on dinner and caffeine sounds perfect.
“Just take a shower, Mounty.”
So I do.
The bathroom looks more like I'd expect from three guys living here. Piles of dirty laundry and towels are in the overflowing basket and there's shaving cream still in the sink. I strip off and, with little options, I throw my clothes into their washing pile. Avery can get them back for me and I make a note to ask her. The water is cranked and blisteringly hot. I’m weak so I use a little bit of each of their soaps and shampoos. I like them all but I love the smell of all three mixed together more.
Once I'm out and wrapped in a towel Ash knocks and hands me a pile of clothes without looking at me which actually is exactly what I need because I'm a bumbling, blushing idiot only covered by the towel. Then I slip my underwear back on and the yoga pants he's handed me. They're Avery's, I've seen her in them before, so it's a decent fit and I don’t have to think about which girl left them behind in his room. The shirt is one of his, a black v-neck that's softer than cashmere and hangs off of my small frame.
I dry my hair and once it's tied up I take a deep, calming breath to walk out.
There's a cup of coffee on the bench, and Ash has one of his own, so I grab it and take a big gulp, praying the heat soaks into me and the caffeine gives me the energy to get through whatever bullshit Ash is going to throw at me.
“Why did Joey call the juniors off last year? The real reason.” He still doesn't look at me from where he sits on his bed, his long legs braced against the floor and his big hands cradling the coffee cup.
“Someone from Mounts Bay found out about the bet. He's Joey’s dealer. Actually, he's the top of the drug dealing food chain. This guy didn't like the idea of me being a bet so he warned Joey off.”
Ash hums and takes another sip of his coffee before putting it down. “Why didn't Joey just find a new supplier?”
“The guy owns all of the dealers. Everyone in the state leads back to him so he told Joey that he'd never touch an ounce of anything again if he didn't back off.”
Ash nods again and I tip back the last of my drink. I want to fidget but I force myself to stay still. When Ash doesn't say anything else I start to move towards the door, giving him space seems like the right thing to do right now.
His fingers curl around my wrist to stop me. His eyes stay trained on the floor, unblinking, and I take a step towards him. My heart is thumping, I don’t know why but I feel like something has shifted in him and finally the gaping chasm between us is going to disappear. He tugs me into him and moves his free hand to the back of my neck, gently cradling the nape of my neck and rubbing the silky curls there.
With his height and the height of the bed, I still have to tilt my head up to look at him. Standing between his legs, looking up into his icy blue eyes, he’s surrounding me until all I can see, all I can feel, is him. I take a shuddering breath and the sound of it breaks the dam of his control and he pulls me into his kiss.
His lips are hot and demanding, he swallows my gasp and pushes me for more until all I can do is give in to him. I’m less nervous about kissing now, thank God. I want to give him everything I can and he grunts as my teeth tug on his bottom lip. His hands move to fit over the curve of my waist, his fingers stroking and teasing me. He groans and lifts me up against his chest, my feet dangling and his strong arms banding around me, holding my weight like it’s nothing.
I can’t think. The world around us is spinning and turning until I’m laid out on his perfect bed and he’s hovering over me, our bodies only touching at his searing kiss. I want more. I want him pressing me into the bed, I want him grinding against me, I want him to touch every inch of my skin.
I want him to own me.
And it’s that thought that slams reality back into my mind and I break away from his lips. He’s running on a high from saving his sister. He’s cut Annabelle loose. If I let this continue, he doesn’t even know he’s risking his life for a quick fuck. And, as crushing as it is to even think, that’s exactly what I am to him. Another notch on the post of his ridiculously comfortable and luxurious bed. Seriously, where do rich people get their sheets? I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, just to feel and enjoy having him so close for a little longer, and when I finally open them I see he’s doing the same. He’s probably cursing himself out for being st
uck here with the frigid Mounty.
“I can’t,” I croak at him and he nods, his eyes still shut.
Neither of us move. I just stare up at his heartbreakingly handsome face until he finally lets out a shuddering breath and rolls off of me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I decide that all guys are the devil and I need to stay the fuck away from them. I can’t hide from Harley or Blaise but I can stay the hell away from Ash if I’m careful. I figure out pretty quickly that Ash is trying to avoid me as much as I am him. It stings more than it should and I might be hypocritical for feeling that way but when Avery starts getting suspicious of his behavior I pretend I have no clue of what’s she’s talking about. I don’t think I’ve fooled her at all and, if anything, I think I make her even more suspicious.
I can’t tell her about the kiss.
She was accepting of Harley kissing me and pissed about Blaise. I can’t imagine her reaction to hearing I’ve also had a try of her beloved twin brother. Sweet lord, for a virgin I am managing to get around.
Avery obviously decides she’s done with our shit because she sends out a group text the Friday after the kiss with Ash.
Dinner in our room. Attendance is compulsory, this means you Ash.
I frown down at my phone and Harley smirks at me. “We used to have dinner together once a week. Clearly Avery is sick of her brother’s sulking too.”
I text her back privately.
You shouldn’t cook, we have too much class work to waste time on that.
Her reply is instant because she knows I’m avoiding them all like the fucking plague.
I’ve ordered in. Blaise is going to grab it on the way up from his boxing session. No excuses, we’re getting back to normal programming.
I groan and slump down in my chair.
I try to hide in the library, switching my phone off so I can pretend it’s died and I got sidetracked. Unfortunately, Avery has fucking superpowers and finds me before I’m even technically late. She sits across the table from me and places a takeaway coffee on my math workbook, forcing me to stop working on the equations.
“Before the cup is empty, you’ll tell me why you keep staring at me like you’ve stabbed my puppy.”
Straight for the throat, there’s the dictator I call my best friend.
I sigh and take some deep, deep gulps of the coffee. She raises an eyebrow at me and I fucking cave like a bitch. “I kissed Ash. Well, I think he kissed me but I didn’t stop him.”
Avery’s face stays completely void of any emotion as she cocks her head for me to continue. “I did eventually tell him I couldn’t continue. I’m so fucking weak and stupid. Why do I keep ending up in these situations? I can’t do anything about it with the Jackal’s eyes on me and I’m not a casual type of person. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and I’m sorry I’ve now made out with all three of your...people.”
Avery nods and drums her fingers on the table. “Do you want a non-casual...relationship with my brother? Or one of the other two?”
I blush and clear my throat. “It’s not an option. I won’t even think about it because it’s not what they’re interested in. Any of them.”
Avery squints at me a little and I try not to squirm. Whatever she’s looking for, she doesn’t find it in my face and with a sigh, she stands up.
“Don’t be dense, Mounty. Kiss whoever the hell you want to but you need to tell them all about the Jackal.”
I notice the tension in the air the second we walk into our room. Ash is sitting on Avery’s bed death glaring at his phone like it has mortally offended him and Harley…well, Harley is standing in the kitchen, braced against the kitchen counter, with murder in his eyes. Avery frowns at them and then gives me a sidelong look but I shrug. Blaise walks in behind us, carrying bags of Thai takeout, and he’s stomping around as well.
“What’s Joey done now?” Avery snaps.
Blaise won’t look at me as he brushes past us to get into the kitchen. Avery waits another second before snapping, “Well?!”
“It’s not Joey. Harley’s got some emotions he would like to express but he has to work through them first,” says Ash, so condescendingly I cringe for Harley but he doesn’t flinch. In fact, he acts like he hasn’t heard a word Ash has said. He’s the only guy in the room who is looking at me, while the other two are pointedly looking elsewhere. I know for a fact I’m PMS-ing and my nerves are fucking wearing thin so I keep my mouth shut. If I open it I may verbally eviscerate the lot of them and I’m sure Avery doesn’t want to spend her evening scrubbing their innards off the walls.
Blaise sets out everyone's food and continues to ignore me, even after I thank him. Avery glares at him, then Ash, before finally settling her ire on her cousin who is still staring at me like I stabbed a baby.
He makes it through the world’s most awkward and silent dinner before drawling at me, “I didn’t peg you for a liar.”
Ash laughs and throws a napkin at him. “Of course she’s a liar. If you chose to believe anything she’s said that’s your own fucking insanity.”
I set my knife and fork down onto the table carefully and fold my hands. I pull myself into Avery’s signature power pose, ankle fucking crossed and everything, before I sweetly say, “What is up your ass now, Arbour?”
“You. You lied about being in danger, you lied about hating the other Mounty, and now you’ve gone and fucked him. I hope the money was worth it.”
Avery meets my gaze from across the table. What the actual hell is he talking about and how widespread is this pile of lies? Her eyebrows ask the same questions and we both slide into damage control. “Uh no, I didn’t. He threw himself at me and I said no,” I state, calmly, though my knees start to grow restless.
Harley snorts at me, pushes out of his chair, and stalks over to the fridge to grab a beer. Avery stands to start cleaning up our dishes and snaps, “What does it matter to you if she did fuck him?”
He shrugs casually but the sneer stays fixed to his face. “You said you didn’t want to fuck any guy at Hannaford but you made an exception for him.”
Ash is watching Avery with narrowed eyes. He knows something is up, something more than what we’re saying. If Harley wasn’t so pissy he’d notice the cleaning, too.
“I didn’t fuck him. I kind of thought you’d believed me over the gossiping bitches but clearly I was wrong,” I grit out, the muscles in my jaw twitching.
Harley slams the beer bottle on the bench and moves to stand over me. I don’t back away like everyone else does because I’m not afraid of him. His mobster roots and overbearing size don’t mean shit to me. I know what type of guy he really is. I do hate that I have to tip my head back to look at him right now and the fury in his eyes cuts me worse than his words.
“He handed in proof. He’s been declared the winner and he gets the sweep. All two million dollars of it.”
My stomach drops. My vision blurs, my ears ring, and I think my heart has exploded in my chest cavity.
Fuck.
I’m dead.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Right. This is bad.” Avery’s voice is thready and mine would sound the same if I could choke some words out.
“So some asshole Mounty guy ends up with the money, what does it matter? With the bet over with Lips won’t be followed around anymore. We should have a word with him about the money. He should really split it with you,” Blaise says, sounding completely at ease even though he’s still refusing to look at me.
“She didn’t fuck him! Get your heads out of your fucking asses and believe us both. We’re fucked because of that asshole’s lie!” Avery screeches.
I can’t think clearly. If they’re still talking I don’t hear it, nothing exists to me anymore except the sheer, blinding terror. The panic clawing at my chest has become so overwhelming that it consumes everything until I’m at its mercy. I think I’m going to pass out. My legs give way and I collapse down on the ground. My arms shake. When I still can’t breathe
I lie down and begin to count backwards from a hundred in French.
“What are we missing here?” Ash asks, carefully, and I look over to find them all staring at me. Harley looks haunted, his eyes so wide I can see the whites all the way around his irises. Nope. I can’t do this. I shut my eyes and get back to counting, out loud so I’m forced to focus. I try to block out the memories of all the things the Jackal will do to me.
“I’m telling them, Lips. We need their help to fix this, that little fuck Lance needs a beating and we all know I can’t throw a punch to save my life,” says Avery and I jerk my head to form some sort of nod. “Okay. If word gets back to Mounts Bay that Lips has fucked Lance her life is in danger. The Jackal will kill Lance, no question, and he deserves it so fuck him. But there’s a good chance he’ll also kidnap, torture, and rape Lips.”
“What?! Why?” snaps Ash as Harley starts cursing up a storm behind him.
“Because he’s a sadistic egomaniac who thinks he owns her. He threatened Joey away from her because he doesn’t like to share his toys. He’s waiting her out, playing a game that he thinks he’ll win, and if anyone messes with it he takes them out. If we don’t fix this he’s going to rape and kill her.”
I think about throwing up but I’m paralyzed by the liquid terror coursing through my veins. I let it take me. I give over to the fear and let it consume me for a minute so it will burn off enough that I can tamp it down again. The truth is I’m not ever fearless, I’ve just learned to live and work through it.
When I can see again, I risk another glance at the others to find Avery trembling in Ash’s arms and Harley staring down at me. I take my first deep breath when he looks at me, like the fire in his eyes thaws something in me and the spark in my soul starts up again. I have survived everything that’s been thrown at me so far. I will survive this, too.