by J Bree
I wish I could believe him.
Chapter Thirty-Six
My phone pings after midnight and I have to wriggle out from under Blaise to reach it, my rock god boyfriend wrapped around me like a second skin. He doesn’t falter in his faint snores and Avery’s headphones are in her ears blaring still so neither of them have woken at the sound.
The dining hall. Now. Don’t bring your little friends unless you want me to slit their throats while you watch.
I stare down at the Jackal’s text and a cold wave of dread takes over me for a second. Then I get angry.
Really fucking angry.
I slip out of the bed and into one of Harley’s hoodies and some yoga pants because I’ll be damned if I let that psychopath see me in booty shorts ever a-fucking-gain. My knife gets slipped into my pocket and, after a moment of hesitation, I slip my gun into the waistband of my yoga pants.
Then I stand over Avery for three minutes, my heart in my throat, debating telling her but, fuck, she might follow me down there or call for back up and that’s a bad situation looking to turn nuclear.
When I’m out of the room, door locked firmly behind me, I text Illi.
The Jackal is here. I’m going to meet him. If you don’t hear from me in thirty minutes call Diarmuid for backup. Tell the boys I love them and Avery she’s the best fucking thing that ever happened to me.
It’s sappy as fuck, and Illi will give me so much shit for it, but I need them to know how much they mean to me if I’m… dead. Fuck, I hope I’ll be dead and not taken.
But I’m done bowing down to this man’s whims.
I walk slowly, calmly, down the silent halls of Hannaford as if I’m not heading into the very hell I enrolled here to escape. Luca is waiting outside the dining hall doors with three other flunkies. I dip my head and for once Luca doesn’t grin and flirt.
“He’s not very happy with you, princess.”
No shit. “He doesn’t have to be happy with me. He’s forgotten he’s an equal to me in our world.” I’m proud of how strong my voice sounds.
Luca just looks at me for a second longer, his eyes searching mine, and then nods.
I give him a nod back like I’m not concerned in the least, and he opens the door for me. I keep my eye on Luca and not the man dressed in a sharp suit, sinfully handsome and utterly soulless. He ushers me in with a firm hand at the small of my back I try not to flinch away from and helps me to my seat across from the outwardly calm Jackal.
He’s sitting in Harley’s seat.
He knows everything that happens in this school.
I meet his gaze and, fuck it if he doesn’t look menacing in his suit. I suppress the shiver that tries to take over my body. He looks calm, with his hands on his knees below the tables, but that only intensifies the dread clawing at me.
“Good evening, little Starbright. I hope I didn’t wake you?”
I raise my brows at him. “Don’t you know? I assumed you’d have found a way to get a camera in my room by now.”
He smirks at me and tips his head. “But of course. I have to say, I’m not a fan of watching those boys defile you.”
I fucking refuse to blush or think about him watching us, watching me during my most intimate moments. He could be bluffing. He’s probably not but I hold onto that hope for now. “What would you like, Jackal? What are you really here for? Because I’m not going to leave with you. I’m content here and who shares my bed every night is no concern of yours.”
He twitches. His little tick when he’s trying not to attack someone coming out in full force. I’ve watched him torture, maim, humiliate, pulverize, and destroy a thousand times before and I know his every tick.
He wants to break me.
“You will leave here with me tonight. I’ve grown tired of our little game, Starbright. I was hoping to wait for you to be a little older, a little wiser, before I claimed you but you’ve pushed my hand.”
I cross my arms. “Claim me? What are you, a fucking caveman? I’m not yours.”
He leans forward, the gentleman mask melting away and leaving nothing but the sociopath behind. “You are mine. You’ve been mine from the second I saw you. I’ve fixed every single problem you’ve ever had. You owe me and there’s no way I’m going to let some little rich cunts take what’s mine.”
I laugh at him, so clearly I’ve gone insane, but the haughty, arrogance of the boys fills me. I’ve had a steady diet of it for months and now I can breathe that same fire, even if it gets me killed. “You killed my mom. You destroyed my leg. You took my voice away. You murdered any person, man or woman, that tried to be my friend. You did everything you could to cut me off from any help that may have been offered to me. You’re not a good man, Matteo. You never have been.”
He laughs back at me, flicking a hand at me dismissively. “And you think Johnny is? He’s far crueler than I am with his kills. He taught me half of his tricks, back before the French slut ruined everything.”
I grit my teeth. “That’s your problem; you don’t want friends. You want to own people, and Illi and I have never been the type to bow down to your rules.”
He drums his fingers against the table, glaring over at me and then nods at me like I’ve agreed with something he’s said. “I can see you’ve been tainted here. I think your time at Hannaford is over, little Wolf. We need to go home and wipe you clean of all of these new ideas. Rich people can have dreams, and love, and free will. But we are not rich people. We are the lurking shadows.”
I grip my knife and his eyes track the movement. I don’t care that he knows, that he’s watched me just as closely as I’ve watched him. I’m not going with him without a fight.
“You’re a rich man now, Matteo. You may still stand in the shadows but you’re richer and more powerful than God. Just not to me.”
He stands, revealing the gun in his hand. He’s had it pointed at me the whole time. I knew it but seeing it pisses me off. Fine. We’ll play this his way for a little longer. I just need to be patient.
“Let’s go, Starbright. I’m looking forward to wiping you clean from all that this school has done to you.”
I stand and keep my hand around my knife. He smirks at me and puts his gun away, motioning for Luca to get my arm. I force myself not to tense as his fingers wrap around my elbow but he’s gentle enough with me that it’s not so hard.
The moment the Jackal is no longer watching me, Luca drops his hand away and when I glance up at him he gives me a stern look. I frown.
The Jackal walks ahead of us, lazy and confident in his stride and he never sees it coming.
Luca wraps an arm around his neck and squeezes.
Holy fuck.
Holy. Fuck.
I stand there like an idiot as the Jackal scrambles against his most trusted and loyal supporter, a man who’s been with him since the very beginning, but Luca is bigger and stronger than Matteo and holds firm, even when his arms begin to bleed from the deep gouges Matteo leaves.
The door to the dining hall bursts open and Ash storms through, gun drawn and wild looking, with Harley on his heels. I stare at them both, at the blood on Harley’s hands, and then back to Luca who is now laying an unconscious Jackal down on the floor.
He’s not dead, not yet.
“WHAT THE FUCK MOUNTY?!” Harley roars, and I blink at him.
I think my brain is a little broken.
Luca gives me a wry smirk and then shocks the shit out of me. “I’ve been waiting to do that to him for years, princess. It felt as good as I thought it would.”
I turn to look at him but I can’t get my head around his words. He’s never been anything but loyal to the Jackal and now he’s standing over his prone body. I just… I can’t figure this out.
He chuckles at me and I glance out the now open doors at the other flunkies but they’re all on the floor, bleeding and groaning. Fuck, I forgot how good Harley and Ash are.
The sound of feet slapping on the wood floors has us all tense and then
Blaise and Avery bolt through the door, looking frazzled and desperate.
“Good fucking use you two are!” Ash snarls at them both, but Avery ignores him, stumbling over to me and wrapping her arms around my waist. I’ve never seen her so shaken.
Luca plants a foot over the Jackal’s throat in case he wakes up and says, “Atticus sends you his personal regards and would like you to know he’s been watching you for a long time. Now he is sure Miss Beaumont is guarded by such a capable and competent friend he would like to assure you he will not hesitate to offer you any help necessary. That includes me.”
Holy.
Sweet.
Lord.
He’s a double agent. A spy. A fucking made man in the Jackal’s den, spying on the psycho’s every move, and I never would have guessed it. The Jackal clearly hasn’t either. Luca has been trusted with everything since the very beginning of the Jackal’s reign of terror in the Bay. Fuck.
Atticus is good.
“I guess he’ll know now that you’re a spy,” I say, breaking the silence.
We all stare down at the Jackal and Luca shrugs. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll drop him home and head back to the Crow. I’m sick of watching the sick fuck hurt people anyway.”
I nod and then pull away from Avery to hold my hand out to him. “Thanks for breaking your cover for me. I hope it was worth it.”
He grins at me and tugs me into a hug. “Like I’d let him kill you, princess. Even if I wasn’t on orders from the boss, I’d have figured a way out for you. It’s time for me to go home, it’s been too long.”
Ash finally lowers his gun but he’s still staring at Luca like he wants to shoot him. Harley shakes himself out of his stupor and stalks over to me, so fast I don’t realize he’s moving until he’s pulling me away from Luca’s arms and running his hands over me to check for blood and bruises.
“Are you okay? Did he touch you? Tell me he didn’t touch you, babe. What the fuck were you thinking?!” he says, voice hoarse and panicked. I catch his wrists in my hands and pull away.
“I was thinking he wasn’t leaving without seeing me and I needed to face him. He would’ve killed you if I had brought you guys. It’s fine, I told Illi—”
“We know what you told Illi, who the fuck do you think called us?” Ash snaps, and I glance up to see him staring down at the Jackal, his eyes like black voids. Luca steps in front of the Jackal’s prone form.
“You can’t kill him. The Twelve will come after the Wolf if you do. There’s a process that needs to be followed,” he says, hands out placatingly.
Ash’s gaze doesn’t waver from his perusal of the Jackal. “The Twelve are choosing sides as we speak and we have Atticus, don’t we? Without this dickhead, we’ll be able to take on the rest.”
Luca shakes his head. “He’s been recruiting. There are other members who have sided with him. They don’t like the Crow cleaning things up. There’s a lot of talk about the Vulture’s business being disbanded. They’re criminals for a reason, they don’t have morals. Even the Bear isn’t happy with the skin markets being gone. He used to sell in them as punishments to his followers. We have to let him go and do this the right way.”
Ash sneers at him and I sigh, stepping in. “He’s right. The Crow can’t defend against nine other members.”
Luca shrugs. “Five. The Jackal has five that have followed him. He’s working on the Boar but he’s very reluctant to side with him over you.”
I startle. “Over me? Why the fuck would he side with me?”
Luca shrugs again, grabbing his phone and tapping out a text. “We can’t figure that out either. The Jackal is going fucking insane over it, but the Crow can’t find a reason why either. He just says it’s a blood thing. Whatever the fuck that means. Bikers are a strange breed.”
I groan. Will anything ever be straightforward and simple?!
“Fine. Take him and drop him off. I’ll call the Crow later and we can… discuss plans.”
Luca nods and grins at me again, swooping down to kiss my cheek and making Harley growl at him like a rabid fucking dog.
“I guess I’ll have to carry him out myself now you’ve incapacitated my men, O’Cronin,” Luca jokes and Harley snaps at him, “It’s Arbour, dickhead.”
We head back to the room for a debrief and Avery’s hand shakes in mine the whole walk back. I feel awful for not warning her and also a little shocked at how badly this has affected her. I mean, I’ve known all along we’re family now but to know just how much she cares is still jarring.
Harley won’t stop touching me, clutching at my hand if I move away from his arms, and I think I made a mistake in going down without telling them.
Avery makes us all tea, even though we all said no when she offered to make them, and I clear my throat in an attempt to move the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry I didn’t wake anyone. I didn’t know Luca was a plant. I thought I’d have a better chance getting him out of here if I wasn’t worried about him killing one of you.”
Blaise nods but he’s staring at his feet, refusing to meet my eyes. Fuck.
Ash takes the cup Avery hands him but doesn’t sip it. “There were a lot of options you had, Mounty. This won’t work if you don’t trust us. Not just the relationship, the whole fucking family won’t work if you run off towards the threat to sacrifice yourself at every sign of danger.”
I wince but nod. “I know that. I just… I don’t want him touching any of you.”
Harley’s fingers flex in mine, a reminder of how close we got to losing him only weeks ago at the hands of the Jackal. Avery gives me a soft look, knowing exactly what I’m thinking.
“Don’t be so harsh. Annabelle drugging Harley did a lot of damage. Lips is barely sleeping now, and she can’t make perfect decisions every time something happens,” she says and Ash snorts at her.
“I’m not asking for perfect, I’m asking for trust. We all trust you, Mounty. With our lives. Why can’t you trust us with the same?”
Tears prick my eyes but I refuse to cry. “And if he’d killed you, Ash? What would I do with myself then? Knowing that he did it for me. He thinks I belong to him, even with me telling him it’ll never happen, he doesn’t give a fuck about what I want.”
Ash slams the coffee cup on the table and stalks into the bathroom, closing the door quietly, though it sounds like a deafening bang in the silence of the room.
Harley squeezes my fingers again. “Just tell someone next time. I thought you were dead at the look on Ash’s face when Illi called.”
My gut squeezes again and I pull away, ready to grovel at the bathroom door until Ash forgives me.
The Jackal poisons fucking everything.
Harley stops me and directs me back to bed, undressing me and tucking me in as if I can’t do it myself. It’s only when I end up jammed between Harley and Blaise that I notice how badly I’m shaking. Maybe I wouldn’t have managed undressing.
Avery climbs into her bed but the glow of her phone confirms she’s not planning on getting any rest. We’re all stuck in the limbo of what-ifs.
What if Luca wasn’t a plant?
What if I had woken them up?
What if I died?
I startle awake hours later, having not even realized I’d fallen asleep, to Ash sleeping across the bottom of the bed. I’m penned in completely.
“I think he’s worried you’ll run off on him. He’s asked me to put a GPS tracker on your phone,” Avery murmurs, making me jump again.
I look over and find her tapping away on her phone again. “I think I fucked up, Aves. I’m really fucking sorry.”
She nods and smiles at me. “I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. Ash will too, he’s just… worried.”
I fight back tears again and nod. When I’m sure I won’t cry, I carefully pull out from between the bodies and crawl over to Ash, curling myself around him. His eyes fly open the second I touch him but he relaxes back once I’m plastered to him, his arms wrapping me up tight as he kiss
es the top of my head.
“I’d rather you hate me for going alone than being dead. I’m sorry I worried you but I’m not sure I’ll make a different decision next time. In my mind, I will always be expendable because… I’ve survived it all before. I can survive it again. I can’t face that stuff happening to you and he wouldn’t torture you. He’d slit your throat and bleed you out in front of me. He told me that when he called me down to meet him.”
Ash nods but doesn’t speak. I don’t think he’s forgiven me, not even close, but I know we’ll be okay. At least until something else happens.
“Sorry to interrupt your little make-up session, but Atticus just informed me that we’ve been summoned by Senior. He’s told Atticus he knows about his… plans to keep us separated and he wants to meet with the Wolf.” whispers Avery and I groan.
There are too many threats in our lives.
I need a week off.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Exams consume our every waking moment for two weeks.
It’s a blessing really because no one has the chance to panic or argue about the Jackal’s impromptu visit and Avery is so consumed by her studies that she trusts Atticus to put protective measures in place for our meeting with Senior, despite her rage at his deception.
Harley and Ash become so competitive that I ban them from talking about classwork around me. I can’t cope with the snarking and arguing at all, especially not with Blaise looking green the second they start quoting random lines from our literature readings to out do each other.
I just need to get him through the exams.
He’s ready. I know he is. We’ve worked too fucking hard this year, around all the fucking bullshit trying to kill us all, for him not to pass his exams now.
Avery refuses to let any of the guys sleep in our room for the week, claiming they’re a distraction for me and bad for my sleep, and I don’t have the heart to tell her I sleep better when I know they’re all around me. I’m plagued by constant dreams of Jackal, and what would have happened if I hadn’t snuck off by myself.