Tate and I huddle under the shelter, unable to leave until Cindy calls. “This sucks,” I say, wiping the rain off my face with a towel and sit at a picnic table.
“Totally.” Tate sits on the bench next to me. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I have no idea where this is going but what comes out of his mouth is a total surprise.
“What’s this Buffy thing?”
“Buffy? The Vampire Slayer?”
“Yeah, I heard you and Henry talking about it.”
I frown. “Just a TV show. It’s not on anymore.”
“Oh,” he says, a little defeated.
“I have it on DVD if you want to watch it.”
His face lights up and it’s like the parting of the Red Sea. Beauty in the middle of a raging storm. “Really?”
“Sure.”
“That would be awesome.”
“How about tonight?” he asks. “I could come to your house, you know, since I live with a bunch of cavemen.”
“Tonight?”
“Sure, I don’t have anything else to do. Do you?”
I shake my head and flinch at another huge crack of thunder. No. I don’t have anything planned except now Tate Christensen is coming to my apartment and how did that even happen?
*
“What’s he doing here?” Tricia whispers in the kitchen.
“Honestly? I have no freaking clue, but who am I to deprive anyone of the glory of Joss Whedon and Buffy?”
“Maybe you accidentally seduced him instead of Henry.”
“Doubtful.” But to be honest, other than the disgusting skin peeling thing, which seems to turn Henry on a little bit, I’ve been looking pretty good lately.
“I’ve got this political dinner thing I have to go to or I’d stay.”
“Eh, it’s okay. We work together all the time. It’s not that awkward.”
That is a total lie. Everything about this is awkward. From Tate being in my apartment to him stretched out on Josh’s ratty couch he inherited from his older brother. It smells like cheese and dog.
“Have fun,” Tricia says, passing us on the way out the door. She winks at me. Ugh.
“Later,” Tate says.
“You ready? Episode one?”
“Yep.” He reaches for one of the beers on the table in front of him and offers me one. I take it because obviously I need to curb some of the edginess.
Hours later I can hardly stifle my yawn. I’m curled up on the couch, my toes pressing into Tate’s leg. We’ve watched six episodes and Tate’s hooked, pausing the show to ask questions but digging the mythology. It’s weird. All of this is weird, but I’m tired and he’s gonna have to leave.
“You want to take the rest with you?” I ask once the last episode is over.
“Oh,” he says. “Don’t you want to watch them together?”
There are eight seasons of Buffy. It will take us weeks to watch all of them. He looks so hopeful though I’m not sure how to tell him no. “Well, we can watch some of them. Why don’t you take the rest of this season home and we’ll get together in a couple of days.”
“Awesome.” Tate takes his empty bottles to the kitchen and throws them in the recycling bin. “Thanks for letting me come over.”
“No problem,” I say, stretching my arms over my head. Tate’s eyes flick to my exposed belly and I tug down my shirt. “Surprised you didn’t have a date tonight.”
“Eh, I’m kind of taking a break from all that,” he says like it’s no big deal at all.
For the record, it’s totally a big deal.
“Wow, really?”
“Yep,” he says. “You and Henry kind of encouraged me to cut the manwhore stuff out a little. I mean, I’m still getting some here and there, but it had gotten a little out of control.”
“How mature of you,” I say, nudging him toward the door.
“I guess you gotta start somewhere, right? It’s like you and Henry.”
“Like me and Henry what?”
“Like how you’ve put all that drama from the past behind you and are friends again.”
I’m not sure about all that, but I’m proud of Tate in a weird way. Maybe I’m not as invisible in his eyes as I thought. I may not be sex worthy to him but at least he listens to my advice, which is better. I guess.
We step out my front door and onto the balcony area. The parking lot below is quiet. “Well, thanks and I guess I’ll see you on Wednesday.”
“Right, day off tomorrow,” I say.
Surprisingly he pulls me into a bear hug and I squeak from the wind being knocked out of me. “Night.”
I watch him tuck the DVD under his arm and disappear down the stairs. Once he hits the parking lot I hear his voice and lean over the railing. Henry. Tate jerks a thumb upward and Henry looks up—our eyes meeting briefly.
I step backwards, pressing myself against the wall overwhelmed by feelings glee and guilt. My plan involved making Henry crazy—crazy enough to regret treating me so poorly, but as things shift between us, Operation Payback seems harder than expected.
*
Somehow I let Josh talk me into going to the pool to hang out even though it’s my day off. So yeah, I’m voluntarily at work even though I’m not getting paid.
“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” I say to him.
“It’s only fair since I got you that job and I can’t get free ice cream anymore.”
Josh climbs out of the driver’s seat and slings a towel over his neck. I get my bag, filled with a variety of sunscreen, magazines and snacks. Great. Now I want ice cream.
“So this date you had the other night?”
“It wasn’t a date and shhhh.” I jerk my head toward the entrance. The last thing I need is for Tate to think I have a thing for him. Well, more than any other hetero girl. I push the gate open and Henry waves from his perch over the deep end chair. I smile and wave back.
“Five hours of Buffy sounds like a date to me.” I elbow him in the ribs and point to a couple of deck chairs in the sun. Josh shakes his head. “Oh, look, Davey’s here.”
Sure enough, Davey sits over on a lounge chair in the grassy area alone. He gives us a wide smile and I roll my eyes behind my sunglasses. “So this is why you made me come today?”
“Yes, and I don’t have to pay a guest fee.”
I lead the way and drop my stuff onto a chair, leaving one chair empty so Josh can sit next to his crush. Davey may be the only guy that can compete with Tate in the looks department. Tall and broad. Creamy brown skin, dark eyes and hair. His chest looks like it’s molded from the same marble Tate’s came from.
“Hey Zadie, what’s up?” he asks.
“Nothing much, just hanging out at work on my day off,” I jab, but they are already absorbed in one another.
Josh makes a production of laying his towel out and taking off his shirt. He’s fit too but not like these guys. I’m starting to feel like a third wheel. Geez.
While the boys enter the first stages of flirting I pull out my sunscreen and lotion up my arms and legs. “Here,” I say to Josh handing him the tube. “Lather up.”
He squeezes some into his hand and covers his chest. He hands the bottle to Davey and says, “Can you get my back?”
“Oh man,” I mumble, yanking my cover up over my head. I’ve decided to attempt to manage my life guard tan, wearing a different suit with different tan lines. This one is a two piece, bluish-green with a tie around the neck. It’s something I’m not accustomed to but Tricia and I decide it has the desired effect. Plus, everyone else around here flashes some skin. So can me.
I settle in my seat and narrow my eyes at the pattern on Josh’s shorts. “What is that?”
“Oh, these are amazing. Dry they look like a normal pattern but look,” he runs to the edge of the pool and jumps in. A second later he jumps out and rushes back over dripping wet. “See?”
“Are those naked ladies?” I ask, incredulous.
“Yes! My m
om bought them for me!”
Davey touches the hem and they marvel at the cheesiness of the shorts. They shift into the bubble that follows them around lately. I’m happy for them, but it’s boring being the third wheel. I open up my magazine, pretending to read, but predictably, I find myself staring at Henry.
Henry flipping his whistle over his finger.
Henry scratching his chest.
Henry adjusting himself in his chair.
Henry glancing at me.
He perches his whistle between his lips and lets it hang there while he watches some kids closely. After a couple of seconds he blows it, waving them over to his chair. He falls into a deep argument with the ten-year-old over the diving board rules. He’s so freaking adorable.
“Just go talk to him,” Josh says, interrupting my Henry fest.
“I’m getting a soda,” I say in response. “Want one?”
“Sure.”
I leave the love birds, hopping out of my chair to go get it. I pass Tate waist-deep in the pool scrubbing tiles, (I’d give him credit for doing some actual work but I know he lost a bet with Henry for the job) and he winks as I pass by. I force myself not to tug and pull at the suit. That is not sexy at all.
We have a refrigerator in the office and I lean in to get a Coke off the bottom shelf. The cool air feels nice against my hot skin and I stand there for a minute.
“Wasting energy, huh?”
I spin quickly, holding the can to my chest and find Henry standing in the door. “How long have you been standing there?” I ask.
“Long enough,” he replies with a smirk.
“Want one?” He nods and I hand him mine before leaning in for another.
“So Tate came over last night?”
I open the can with a loud click and hiss and sway from hip to hip. “He wanted to watch Buffy.”
“He did?” His eyes watch my hips like a metronome. “Interesting.”
“I know, I thought it was weird too, but whatever.”
“Hmm,” he says, flashing his eyes at me. Or on me. His eyes are all over me and this bikini that suddenly seems too small and too tight.
“I guess I’ll go back out with Josh and Davey, not that they’ve noticed I’ve gone or anything.”
“Okay,” he says, not moving out of the doorway. I edge past him, bumping my hip into his lower stomach. His very toned lower stomach, covered in the finest hair that I crave to touch. I keep my hands to myself and once I’m out of the hot spot, I swear I feel the heat of his hand on my lower back.
For a minute I can’t decide who’s seducing who.
Back at my seat I tune out Josh and Davey and keep one sunglassed eye on Tate as he makes his way around the pool. His back muscles tense with every movement, only stopping occasionally to mess with one of the kids. The kids love the lifeguards, all of us, but mostly Henry and Tate. These particular children belong to Mrs. Robinson. They beg and splash, trying to get Tate to horse around. This makes an excellent opportunity to ogle, watching both guys as they use all their strength wrestling with the kids.
“Hey Pip,” I hear over my day dream of Henry and Tate water wrestling one another.
“Hey.”
“Come talk to me.”
“Why would I do that?” I laugh.
He drapes his arms over the side of the pool and smiles. “Come on, I’m bored and doing this so you don’t have to tomorrow. Come entertain me.”
I look over at Josh who hasn’t paid me any attention in the last fifteen minutes and shake my head. I walk over to the edge of the pool and sit, dangling my feet into the cool water.
“This is how you chose to spend your day off?” His eyes flick toward my chest.
“Not really but these two seemed to have ulterior motives.”
“I watched the rest of season one,” he says, dipping his brush back into the water and resuming his cleaning. He’s cleaning the area to the left of where I’m sitting, slowly making his way in my direction.
“And?”
He smiles. “Buffy kicks ass. You’re right.”
“Obviously.”
The water sloshes against my legs as he moves closer. I look up and catch Henry staring in our direction. Or at least I think he is. It’s hard to tell behind his sunglasses. I smile but he turns away before seeing me.
Tate approaches my legs, picking them up and to clean the tile beneath them. “Hey!” I shout, trying to keep my balance, but laughing anyway. He drops my legs but grabs my ankles under water and says, “So, what do you think? Want to go to the superhero bash with me?”
“What?”
“The party at my frat? Want to come? It’s next weekend. I’m trying to decide between Thor again or Captain America.”
“You want me to go with you?” Like a date, I want to ask, but don’t. No way. Never.
“Yeah, it’ll be fun to bring a girl who knows all the characters.”
“I’m not that big of a nerd,” I laugh. He leans in and his chest is deliriously close and I clasp my fingers around the edge of the pool deck so I don’t just reach out and touch him.
“How about it?” His eyes struggle between my chest and my face and for once I just don’t care. I think I may be turning him on and it’s exhilarating.
“I don’t know,” I tell him, warily. “I’m not big on crowds.”
“It’s summer. It’s like half the normal-sized party.” His hands are still wrapped around my ankles but his fingers feel soft under the water and what the hell is going on here? Is he really flirting with me? I glance up at Henry but all I can see is the muscle in his jaw working overtime. “Just come, it will be fun. Everyone goes—Henry will be there.”
“He will?” I look across the pool.
“Yo, H! You’re going to the Superhero bash, right?” Henry gives Tate a quick nod and a double thumbs up.
Tate flashes his mega-watt smile and my heart flips erratically. Part out of anticipating of a night out with Henry, if he’s aware of it or not, and partially because I’m on the edge of an anxiety attack, knowing historically what happens when I decide to go out and have a good time. I close my eyes and say, “Yes.”
*
“I can’t believe you said yes to this,” Tricia says. We’re in the bathroom. I’m sitting on the top of the toilet, both eyes shut, while she works on my makeup.
“I know.”
“I can’t believe you’re wearing this outfit.”
I open one eye. “Is it too much? Too tight? Too slutty?”
She closes my lid with her finger and swipes across it with a brush. “Nope. You look stunning. It’s perfect.”
“I’m nervous.”
“You’ll be fine. I wish I could go. I can’t believe I have to go to another political function. I think my dad was more concerned with ruining my social life than getting me job experience,” she says. “You can look now.”
I open my eyes and stand up. I went with the Avengers theme, dressing as Black Widow. She’s not super slutty which is good but she wears a skin-tight outfit that has my boobs squeezed together so tight they may actually tear the fabric. Tricia managed to curl my reddish-brown hair into wavy ringlets.
“My ass looks huge,” I say, twisting to look in the mirror.
“No it doesn’t, and have you seen Scarlett Johansson’s butt? It’s curvalicious. You’re fine.”
In my room I pull on my knee-high black boots. This outfit’s going to be hot as hell tonight but Tricia’s right. I look pretty good. The only problem is my nerves, which run ice cold in my veins. Checking my clock, I see that I have thirty minutes before Tate will arrive. I decide to go outside for some fresh air first.
“Good luck,” Tricia says. “I suspect Henry will be jealous as heck he didn’t ask you out first.” I close the door and step outside. The night air is humid and not much of a relief but I couldn’t sit around my apartment any longer. I make my way downstairs and realize my suit is sticking to my skin and I can’t stay out here.
I can’t go anywhere. What am I doing, dressing up like superhero Barbie? Going to a party with a crowd of people I don’t know. The anonymity doesn’t bother me. It’s the minute they figure out who I am. That I don’t belong. What do I do then?
“Zadie?”
I glance up and realize I’m standing in front of Henry’s apartment door on the first floor. He has on a white T-shirt and baggy plaid shorts. He’s barefoot and has a plastic grocery bag in his hand. “Huh?”
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” I give him a weak smile.
“You look…” he says, trailing off. His face is riddled with confusion—as he should be—I’m dressed like Black Widow and it’s not Halloween.
“Lame, I know.” I cross my arms over my chest in an effort to hide myself but all it does is squish my boobs even bigger.
“No, you look great.” He eyes me head to toe and his Adam’s apple bobs up and down. “Really great.”
We stare at one another for a minute because I feel stupid and he’s looking at me with the dumbest expression. Definitely not helping my nerves settle.
“What are you doing out here?” he finally asks.
I take a deep breath and exhale. I admit, “Freaking out.”
“Why?”
“Because I agreed to go to this stupid fraternity party with Tate and I’m wearing this outfit and, well,” I meet his eyes with my own. “I’m nervous about all the people and stuff. It’s the kind of thing that triggers my anxiety. Hey!” I notice he’s not dressed up. “You said you were going!”
“Yeah, we’re going to later, when Charlie gets off work. So you’re going with Tate?” he asks, quietly.
“Yeah, he asked me the other day. He swore to that he would be nice and not leave me stranded in a sea of sorority girls. I don’t trust him. Hence the nerves.”
Henry bites his lip but says nothing. A light bulb goes off in my head and I realize what’s going on. Why he’s being so strange. “Look, I know I told you I’m not falling for his puppy dog thing. I’m not. I just—I want to break out of my shell a little and Tate and this party are about as far out of my shell as I’m ever going to get. I’m nervous as hell but I promise you this has nothing to do with me liking him or the risk of you finding us making out in the utility room at work, okay?”
No Regrets Page 5