“We’re not sure yet. Some people like to see the world fall into chaos. Light the torch, then whip it into a crowd. Others are believers or greedy or sick. So far we’re thinking greed motivates him.”
She thought about how her mother would claim to be full and skip a meal right before payday just so Sutton would have enough to eat. “How much money does one person need?”
“Good question.”
She’d looked into Josiah’s background. On that damn tablet that caused so much trouble. She’d used the bombing to trace his past. She knew he came from a connected family. The articles talked about titles and estates. Things so far outside her world.
But they didn’t seem like him either. She hadn’t seen him pull rank or act as if his money and background put him above the rest of the team. If anything, he stepped up to sacrifice as much as, if not more than, the rest.
That sort of selflessness intrigued her. “And I’m not, you know.”
His head shot up. “What are we talking about?”
“Fearless.” Not even close. “I’m not Tasha.”
He came back to the bed and sat next to her. Took her hand in his. “No one expects you to be.”
“The idea of going back to Benton or being traded or whatever scares the hell out of me. Like, I can barely say the words without throwing up.” The thought of facing Benton and seeing Frederick made her dizzy with fear. Part of her wanted to hide in a closet until all of this was over. “Sure, I can shoot but I’m human. I know how terrifying that man can be and I’ve always been careful. Walking right to him kind of violates that.”
He squeezed her fingers. “You’re not going, Sutton. I can’t be clear enough on that.”
“But you need Ellery back.” Sutton got that. Ellery provided the tech support they needed and acted as the emotional center. More importantly, she was their friend. The guys treated her with respect but teased her like they would a baby sister. All but Lucas, who definitely didn’t look at her as his relative.
Josiah’s expression went blank. “Do you think I’m that bloodthirsty? As if I see you and her as commodities we can just exchange?”
“I think you’re practical because you have to be. There’s evil and you fight it and sometimes you don’t fight fair.” She used both hands to grab on to his now, willing him to hear her. “I’m not judging. That all makes sense to me.”
“I don’t want you to go. Okay?” He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling for a second before looking at her again. Let out a long groan of what sounded like frustration before dropping his head again. “The idea of something happening to you makes me physically sick.”
The words lit something inside her. They cleared out the darkness and flooded her with a sense of calm. Suddenly the scary seemed so much less scary. “Josiah.”
“I’ve treated you like shit since the first day we met and said awful things to you. Didn’t believe you in the beginning.”
She put a finger over his lips. “That’s over.”
With a sweet loving touch, he held her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. “I’m sorry.”
The touch soothed the worries away, but the words stunned her. She sat back a bit on the bed as she turned them over in her head. “Do you say that often?”
“Never.”
This man. “That makes me feel special.”
“That’s the point.” He turned until her leg slid up and over his. “You are. I don’t want you to be, but you are.”
Other women might be offended, but not her. She felt the same way. It started as a reluctant attraction. Now it was a pull she could not break. She was falling for him and that might be scarier than anything Benton could do to her. “Believe it or not I find that sweet.”
Josiah smiled as he slid her fingers through his. “Hard to believe you’re the same woman I kidnapped a few days ago.”
The comment hit like a punch to the chest. “Oh my God. Was it only days?”
“Yup.”
She sat there and watched him. His attention stayed on her hands. He didn’t throw her down. Every action told her she meant more to him than sex. She loved that. “I still want to, you know.”
He glanced up at her. “You lost me again.”
The man was not exactly picking up the clues she kept dropping. So she’d be less subtle. With a hand on his chest she pushed him back on the bed. On her hands and knees, she crawled up his body, stopping at his waist.
“Oh, now I’m getting it.”
“Finally. Good God, man. Keep up.” Her fingers went to the front of his jeans and danced across the material.
While he watched her, she lowered the zipper. Careful even though her insides screamed to hurry, she slipped his erection out of his boxer briefs. The warmth of his body heated hers. His excitement sparked hers.
She slid her hand up and down. Followed with her tongue. “This.”
“Sutton.” His hand went into her hair and held her close.
When she put him in her mouth, they stopped talking.
Josiah knew he was alone the second he woke up. He couldn’t believe he’d even slept. He came into the bedroom to talk some sense into her. Thought a few minutes of a nap might not be a bad idea before he ventured out to do battle with the rest of the team again. Somehow he’d slept two hours.
He sat up and the blanket dropped to his waist. He wasn’t wearing much more than underwear but he had no regrets about that. Just thinking about Sutton and that hot mouth made him smile. The way she . . . His blood went cold.
“Shit.” He jumped out of bed and scooped his jeans off the floor. He had them in his hand when he threw the bedroom door open and stepped into the hall. He’d worked up a fevered fury by the time he turned the corner and hit the main living area. One step into the room and all conversation ceased.
Sutton sat at the kitchen table with Tasha and Harlan. Mike hovered nearby eating a sandwich and spied him first. He stopped chewing and visibly swallowed. “Uh, dude. This is not a clothing optional establishment.”
“You forget your pants?” Harlan asked as he sat back in his chair.
“No.” That’s all Josiah got out. Anger clouded his head and the rest of the words wouldn’t come.
Mike winced. “Technically. He’s holding them.”
That did it. “I meant no. She is not doing this assignment.”
Sutton gave herself a visible shake and finally blinked. “You didn’t get dressed before coming out here?”
He was not playing this game. “They all know we’re sleeping together.”
Mike snorted. “We do now.”
All of a sudden everyone cared about his wardrobe and the sleeping arrangements. That was fucking great.
“Fine.” He practically ripped the jeans tugging them on. He had a flannel shirt in his hand and put that on without bothering to button it before holding his arms out to the sides. “Happy?”
“I can’t unsee it, so no,” Mike said before taking another bite of his sandwich.
Josiah ignored that but he couldn’t ignore the sight of Sutton sitting there, talking with the two people who would set up the strategy for any operation. He pointed at her. “Get up.”
Her eyebrow lifted. “Excuse me?”
He was not in the mood for the battle of the sexes right now. This wasn’t about her being a woman. It was about her mattering to him. Pure and not even a little bit simple because his life was a shit storm, but there it was.
He skipped over all that and got right to the point. The one he kept saying even though no one listened. “The answer is no. We are not putting you in danger. Whatever happens in there is not going to change my mind.”
Mike’s eyes widened. “Whoa.”
For the first time since he entered the room, Tasha lifted her head from whatever she was reading. “Josiah, maybe you should take a breath.”
“She is not one of us.” Why couldn’t they see that?
But the room had gone silent. They all looked around.
Most stared at Sutton as if waiting for her to blow.
“You need to work on your tact,” she said in a quiet voice.
He wasn’t in the mood to whisper. He wanted to yell and hit things. “Yeah, I get it. I’m not good with comforting or tact. I’ll work on those, but that doesn’t change my position now.”
Tasha sent him a sad smile. “It’s not your decision.”
She made the rules, so if she thought this mission could work and Ellery had a chance she’d talk Sutton into it. That’s why Josiah needed to cut this off now. “Tasha, no. Ellery is not more important than Sutton. We are not going to make those distinctions. It’s sick.”
“Ellery has operational significance,” Harlan pointed out.
“Shut the fuck up.” Josiah switched from frustration to rage. Harlan was right but that didn’t make the words any less infuriating.
Heat flushed through Josiah’s body and he felt a knock in his head. Likely stress, which was fine. He understood anger. The rest of the emotions, no.
“Josiah.” Sutton came over to him. Put her hands on his forearms and stared him down. “I can’t live with the idea that I could have done something to help Ellery and didn’t.”
The feeling, noble but misplaced, didn’t change his mind. “And she is not going to be okay with you sacrificing yourself to save her. And then there’s the part where Benton is going to perform some sort of double cross and try to kill you both.”
“We can protect them,” Harlan said. “That’s the point.”
Josiah didn’t bother to look at him. “You can’t guarantee that. Hell, we couldn’t even guarantee Ellery’s safety when she was with us. Benton got her, didn’t he?”
“But we can say with some certainty that Ellery will die if we don’t try.”
The sound of Mike’s voice had Josiah turning around. “You don’t agree with this, right? You know having Sutton out there is dangerous for her and could be dangerous for us.”
Sutton snorted. “Thanks.”
“It’s a fact. I will be so busy protecting you that I could . . .” Josiah wouldn’t go there. He refused to say more on that score. “No, we’re not doing it.”
“Which is why you won’t be protecting her.” Harlan nodded. “I will.”
“No.” Since he was two steps from launching across the room and beating the hell out of Harlan, Josiah stopped there.
Mike threw the rest of his sandwich on the plate. “They’re doing it with or without you. I’m going to be there and do everything—and I mean everything—to make sure Sutton stays safe and Ellery comes back to us.”
In his head Josiah knew Mike was right. This call made sense, but he wasn’t leading with that part of him right now. “It’s not enough.”
Sutton grabbed on to his hands and tugged until he looked at her. “Trust me.”
“This isn’t about trusting you.” God, that wasn’t it at all.
She trailed the back of her hand down his cheek. “No, it’s about trusting them, and you do. So, end of discussion.”
“Then it’s settled.” Tasha stood up. “Be ready to move in ten. That should give everyone time to get fully dressed.”
19
THE CALL with the details for the exchange came hours after the blow-up at the house. Since then Sutton had wavered, changing her mind and going back and forth about the sanity of this whole operation about six or seven hundred times. Not that she told them or warned Josiah. He was a bundle of angry nerves and she couldn’t add to that.
But it was too late to turn back now. They were on the way. Harlan and Tasha sat in the front seat but tension zipped around the utility truck, threatening to choke them all. Benton had insisted only Sutton enter the building, but Harlan made it clear he was going along. The building in question sat close to the site of the fire, which meant Benton likely had been close by that night. Josiah had sworn for hours over that one.
She slipped her hand over his thigh as she sat next to him. She expected him to nod or even stay quiet in response. He surprised her by leaning over and kissing her. Right there in front of Mike across from them and within viewing range of the mirrors in the front. All while he disassembled his gun.
He was a complex guy. Just when she thought she could read him, he did something unexpected, like a slow lingering kiss.
“Will you kiss me next?” Mike asked.
Sutton looked up and laughed when she realized he was looking at Josiah.
“What would your professor say?” Josiah asked, not skipping a beat.
“Probably something like, ‘You can do better than the guy with the gun’ but I’m only guessing.”
The easy camaraderie helped to calm her jumping nerves. They joked and gave each other crap but they’d die for each other. She loved that about this group. They might be the best of the best and all that, but they held on to their humanity. Maybe just barely some days, but she saw it on every face. The dead emptiness in Benton’s eyes didn’t reach here.
Tasha turned around in her seat. “We all clear on the plan?”
They’d run through it so many times that Sutton had it memorized. Just when she got it down they informed her that once in there all hell would break loose and to just use common sense. She was starting to wonder if she had any.
“Any sign of trouble or a double cross, we yank Sutton and leave.” Josiah stared unblinking at Tasha.
She nodded. “Yes.”
Not that he bothered to ask her. Sutton swallowed a sigh. He still didn’t get that she had signed up for this . . . sort of. She didn’t have a death wish and planned to be stuck to Harlan’s side, but she knew in her heart this was the right answer. No way could she travel through life, go back to her real life gathering evidence on the supposed bad guys in her small world, while she knew her choices and fears damned Ellery.
Besides, she was ready. In a way. She had a knife at her side and the gun. At Harlan’s request, Mike had run her through a series of quick tests with the gun. Thanks to the pair of contacts Tasha had picked up from God knew where, perfect prescription and everything, Sutton had passed them all. He also told her not to use the knife, which she assumed meant she sucked at those skill tests.
When the van came to a stop a moment of panic took hold. That quick the shaking started and something clogged her throat. She had no idea how these guys walked into this level of extreme danger every day.
As if he read her mind, Josiah gave her the out. “You can still say no.”
She glanced at Mike. Thought about Ellery in that chair.
“You can, Sutton,” Mike said. “No one would blame you.”
He was wrong about that. She would. “I’m ready.”
Her voice sounded firm and confident. She hoped her legs would hold her when she jumped to the ground. Mike saved her from a rough answer to that question when he opened the door and slipped out, then turned to help her. Her hands stayed on her waist for an extra beat as she forced her knees to stiffen.
“Thanks,” she whispered.
“We all get scared. Courage comes from plowing ahead anyway.” He winked at her.
Then Josiah was in front of her. That drawn expression and severe frown. She wanted to brush her fingers over those lines and kiss him stupid. She settled for smiling.
Josiah glanced over at Mike. “Did he just give you a pep talk?”
“He’s a good guy.”
Josiah nodded. “The best.”
“I know you don’t want me to do this.” She rested her hand on his waist because not touching him wasn’t an option. She needed the connection, even if it was just this one last time.
“No.” He cupped her cheek with his palm and let his thumb brush over her lips. “I want you safe.”
“I will be.” With him, like this, she felt as if she could conquer anything.
Tasha appeared next to them with Mike at her side. “I’ll ride this out in the van with the equipment.”
Mike chuckled. “Which you hate.”
“I do, but with Ellery gone, the tech and logistics parts fall to me.” She checked her watch before looking at them again. “No one goes in until I check for heat signatures and Mike runs a wire in there.”
“Benton has to be expecting both,” Josiah said.
Tasha waved off that concern. “Probably not the heat signatures. I had to borrow that equipment since he destroyed ours.”
Even Sutton understood that tone. “Borrow?”
“I’ll give it back. Eventually.”
“Another thing to blame on Benton.” Mike sounded ready to kill. “Fucker set our building and our equipment on fire.”
Tasha sobered as he turned back to Sutton. “Do you remember the commands?”
“Yes.” They’d been pounded into her head. She been quizzed until she had to beg for something to stop the headache. Sutton appreciated the importance of it all but if bullets started flying the last thing on her mind would be what she should do if Tasha yelled, “Scramble” over the comm.
Tasha started to turn away then came back. She held out a hand to Sutton. “It takes a lot to impress me. You do.”
Sutton shook it without thinking. She was too caught up in the stunned expressions on the men’s faces and how that vote of confidence from someone like Tasha chased away some of her doubts. “Thank you.”
Josiah didn’t move as the others started to shift. “That’s huge.”
“People, it’s time,” Harlan said in a voice that boomed over all the others.
The words sliced through her. She blocked how she could see her breath in a smoky film on the cool night air. Lights bobbed above her on long wires and every building stood dark yet protected by high fences and elaborate security systems.
Their target sat eight buildings down on the right. They had the van and Tasha stashed another vehicle just outside the main gate into the complex. Backups and redundancies and protections. They had it all covered.
The only wildcard was one horrible man. “Will Benton actually be in there?”
Josiah shook his head. “I doubt it.”
“So, there’s no way to catch him today.” The thought deflated her. Through all the prep and speed courses in every skill they thought she’d need, she missed that big part.
Facing Fire Page 19