by Tara Brown
My eyes shot up. “A princess?”
“From one of the other kingdoms. She was heir to the throne, but she fell in love with someone unacceptable, so she gave up the throne and ran. She ran away and met my dad, and they bought the inn. My mother died. My father started gambling, drinking, and singing at the dance hall. Next thing we knew, he had married my stepmother and lost the inn to Tom and his men.”
I grimaced. “We are related then.”
“What?” He scoffed.
I looked down at the hard dock below me. “You know the rumors in the city of the lost princess who escaped when King Henry was murdered?” He didn’t answer so I spoke again, “My name is Amillia Morgentstein.”
“No.” He dropped to his knees. “A princess and the red-cloaked assassin?”
My eyes averted his as I held my breath. He knew I was an assassin. Obviously, not a very careful one. “You knew?”
“I knew all along. You came that first day with the cloak and the swords. I knew it was you.”
“You don't care that I am a murderer?”
He sat still for a moment. “I am not one to judge another for why they do as they do.”
I lifted my gaze. “They each played a part in the destruction of my family.” My words were a hollow whisper.
“We can solve this together. I can help you avenge your family.”
A single tear dripped from my eye. “I cannot ask that of you.”
“You do not have to ask it. I would give you the moon.” He reached forward and lifted my chin. “I too have a debt that needs to be paid. I know the weight of such troubles.”
I sniffed back my tears. “We are cousins, you and I. We can never be anything but that.” The thought of it made me sick. Cousins married frequently, but I had never been one to accept a marriage amongst family.
“Cousins marry all the time.” He grinned. “Besides, how related do you really think we are?”
I laughed. “The seven kingdoms were split a few hundred years ago. Our great-great-great-grandfathers would have been brothers.”
“That’s a weak connection. Very diluted.” He leaned in, his grin captivating me and making my already racing heart soar.
I lifted my face to meet his as he kissed me with desperation and dread. I could taste it on his lips. I felt the same way.
I broke the kiss. “Can you just go back to being the guy in the inn who might love me?”
His blue eyes were filled with emotion. “There is no might, Princess.”
I wanted to take that as the final word on it all and move on, but I knew there was one more thing I had to tell him. “What if I told you that I am not a normal girl?”
“I know that already.”
I shook my head, still lost in his gaze. “No, you don't. I not only had a dragon for a pet, but also have dragon’s blood flowing in my veins.” I hardly believed the words as I spoke them, but by the look on his face I could tell he did believe and it scared him.
“Dragon’s blood?” He closed his eyes and sat perfectly still, though I could see the racing pulse in his throat.
“You know of dragons?” I asked, afraid of where the answer was leading us both. He seemed to dread the dragon part of the story.
“Not much.” He shook his head. “I know what you are—who you are.”
“I'm me.”
“NO—you aren’t.” I watched him close off from me. It was just like watching Maddox. “We can't do this. You have to save the seven kingdoms. You have to go back into that life. And I can't come with you. I don’t want that life.” His eyes were dead calm, like he had accepted a terrible fate.
“You don’t want me because I might be some prophecy?”
He looked confused for a moment before he opened his mouth, but I put a hand up. “Just don't. Trust me, I've heard all of this before. I get it.” I walked past him but stopped, looking back. “You know even if I did want to save the seven kingdoms, I wouldn’t want your love to help me through it. Love like yours and Maddox’s is fickle. If I'm not worth the effort it would take for you to be the leader you were born to be, and you wouldn’t live the royal life for me, then I don't need you in my life. But I do want you to know, I would have saved the entire world for you. I would have actually been the girl I was meant to be, just for you.”
I turned away and ran. I ran to the inn to fetch my things. My hands shook as I emptied the contents of the drawers and the hole in the floorboards into a sack. I slung my swords over my shoulder and stuffed the cloak into the bag, taking one last look around the room. I would miss my own space and I would miss Grayson, maybe even more than Maddox. Unlike Maddox, Grayson had lied to me. He had convinced me. He had promised me the moon.
Tears burned my face and blinded me as I opened the door to a grin. I stepped back as Herrick's foul breath filled the air I breathed. Behind him I could see the grinning face of Mabel.
“Hello, Amillia. Did you miss me?” he asked.
I laughed. “I did, but you're awfully close this time, Herrick. So, I think my odds have improved for hitting you.” I dropped everything but pulled my swords from the sheaths as the sack fell.
Calmly he lifted a pipe to his face and shot something at me. I leapt at him and sliced into his arm and chest, but the thing in my neck made the room spin and my swords grew heavy. I blinked and suddenly I was surrounded by five Herricks and five Mabels, and the room spun again and more of them came. In the spinning and blurry vision I saw Herrick’s hand bring the pipe into the air once more and then something hit me on the head.
I blinked and struggled to keep my eyes open, but the room went black before I landed.
I woke to the sun beating down on me through colored glass. My eyes wouldn’t open fully. They were crusty, and I couldn't stop squinting in the light.
I dragged a hand up to cover my face and noticed a sound. I glanced at a chain attached to my wrist and across my chest. I turned over and held my hands over my face. My eyes adjusted to the light. My mouth was dry. I tried to recall if I’d been drinking fire ale again, the feeling was so similar.
But then in waves the memories came crashing back in.
“Herrick.” The name left my cracked lips like venom.
I ran my hands over the dusty bricks I lay on and looked around.
The gray bricks on the floor matched the walls. I pushed myself up. My arms almost buckled from trembling so hard under the weight of my upper body. I tried to sit back on my knees but the chains on my wrists wouldn’t let me.
Both my arms were chained. I looked back to find my ankles were the same. I grimaced and felt my fire building slowly inside me.
“You look lovely in that position, Princess. On all fours is how I expect you will spend the next fortnight, if not longer.”
I turned back, grimacing at Herrick on a set of stairs he slowly rose from. When he reached the top he lifted the pipe. I winced and waited for the dart.
“Why not forgo that, Herrick? Just come over here and fight me like a man.”
He laughed and shot me with the dart. It struck my butt cheek. I looked back at the small dart sticking out of my breeches.
He walked toward me as I struggled with the chains. I pulled so hard, a scream tore from my lips and my throat felt as if it were bleeding.
He shook his head and strolled to me, slapping the long wooden pipe in his hands. “I am going to teach you a lesson now.”
My eyes widened. I was stuck on my hands and knees. I groaned as the dart started to hit me.
“I used a lot less of the poison. I wanted to make certain you were awake for this, just maybe a little less aggressive.”
He pulled a dagger from his belt and grinned at me.
I screamed, “HELP ME!” I whistled and screamed, “ARTAN! GRAYSE! MAX!”
He laughed harder as I tried to wiggle free, but the poison was withholding most of my strength from me. I sobbed but my tears were gone too. “Please don’t do this, Herrick. I'll do anything you want willingly
, but please don’t do it like this.”
He knelt behind me. I tried to kick at him but my leg was caught easily. I was slow and lethargic.
The cold of the blade against my lower back as he sliced down the back of my breeches made me scream louder, mostly in desperate anger. My arms collapsed a bit and the blade cut into my skin slightly.
“Stay still. I want you to be perfect, not more scarred up than you already are.”
I cried harder, so much so that my eyes burned as tearless sobs ripped from me. He shoved me hard, facedown into the bricks that scratched my cheeks as my screams sent dust billowing across them.
His fingers bit into my skin as he cut my breeches more, pulling them away from me.
“I will kill you when this is over,” I raged, fighting with the chains and the fatigue.
He laughed, laying a soft kiss on my back. “I could not think of a better way to die.”
My body went limp. I could feel my eyelids fluttering.
His lips dragged down my back just as a thunderous crash exploded in the room.
I looked up, praying it was Artan as the air around me sparkled like magic dust filled it. Where joy and relief and desperate hope had been, stabbing pain took over. Something ripped into my back, searing my skin.
I closed my eyes and screamed until my screams turned into choking sobs. Pressure and cutting ripped into my back. It sliced and dragged across my skin. My scream was cut short as I coughed, shooting red splatters across the gray bricks.
“IF I CAN'T HAVE HER, THEN YOU SHALL NOT EITHER!” Herrick screamed into the air like it was a war cry as another stab made pressure as it cut into my skin.
The world faded just a little. The screams became like a song and the savagery-filled view tilted as my body convulsed. Everything I did see was in flashes.
Pain was everywhere, like it had taken over my entire existence.
Then it was nowhere.
I was blank and the room seemed lighter.
I closed my eyes, but my ears made out the sound of Grayson. He screamed like he did in the ring, and overtop of his noise was Herrick, squealing and shrieking.
The pain returned and then I heard a slump next to me.
My eyes had closed at some point.
The groan next to me made me force one open.
Herrick stared back at me.
Blood dripped down his blank face.
I let my eye close again.
Chapter Twenty
I saw my mother.
She smiled at me, the way she always smiled with some kind of plot in her head. Only for whatever reason, she looked as she had when I was a small child, fresh and young and stunningly beautiful.
Lazily, she stroked my head and whispered softly to me, “Be a good girl. Remember to pay attention.” She tapped me on the nose. I crossed my arms in defiance, which made her fight a smile. “You must act like a princess, Amillia.”
In her eyes I saw something I had missed before.
It was fear.
She feared for me. When she looked at me I thought what I saw was disappointment or annoyance, but it wasn’t. It was fear and worry.
She knew my future and the bleak turn of events I would be facing. She had planned it all to be a teetering balance, and only through wholehearted efforts would I find success.
“You must always act as the queen you will be, Amillia,” she whispered again as she faded into the haze that had surrounded me. I hadn’t noticed it until she was gone. I reached for her with my little arms, but she was nowhere.
I was alone until I felt warmth cover me. I curled into it and shivered as a voice whispered into my neck, “I failed you, Millia. You tested my love and my faith, and I failed you. I am not worthy of you. Not yet. But if you give me the chance I will make it up to you.”
I shot up, looking around for the voice as I put a hand to my pounding head.
My lips wanted to ask where I was, but the answer was there before I could part them.
The inn.
Thank the gods. I sighed, unable to slow my pounding heart as I pondered the events that had occurred. My memories would suggest I had seen Herrick die.
But if he had died, that meant I hadn’t killed him. I hadn’t been the one to drive the knife into his heart.
That was never going to sit well with me.
The image of him lying across from me was never going to leave me either, the way his death sat so still in his eyes.
Being that I lived in a world of fear, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was like Maddox and would come back from the dead. Even if he was truly dead, I would never find shelter from the acts Herrick had committed against me. His face would haunt me forever.
I held myself and shuddered as the memories filtered in with one horrific scene after another.
The door burst open.
I jumped back, immediately searching for my daggers.
Maddox stormed in growling, “THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT!” He grabbed my foot, dragging me kicking and screaming down the bed. He swatted at my flailing feet and dropped to his knees. I was terrified of him until the moment he scooped me into him and held me. He shook with anger and rage. I wasn't certain if he was angry with Herrick, or me, as if I’d done something to deserve what had happened. I knew it wasn't true.
His breaths came in rough bursts from his nostrils, like a horse would snort it’s exhales.
He kissed the top of my head and held me to him. I closed my eyes. They leaked tears that streamed steadily to my cheeks.
“I couldn’t find you.” He rocked and whispered into my hair, “I couldn’t find you.”
I sobbed into his chest. He lifted me up and carried me back up the bed. He laid me down and then lay beside me, cocooning me completely.
When I was able, I opened my eyes to stare directly into his dark-blue ones that were marred by bloodshot from exhaustion.
“What happened? Where did you find me?” I asked. I didn’t want the answers but I needed them.
He seemed to close himself off and spoke as if he had shut off his emotions completely. “Herrick took you to a mansion on the outskirts of the city. He tried to—”
“Right.” I cut him off “I know that part.”
“Di—di—di—”He looked at me like he saw through me, his gaze empty. “Did he do it?” The words must have tasted foul in his mouth for he said it as if they did, even though he still seemed emotionless.
“No.”
He squeezed my hand and exhaled violently, becoming animated again instantly. “Oh, thank the gods.” He looked ashamed as he closed his eyes and a single tear leaked out.
“I’m all right, I swear.” I gripped his hand back.
He looked sick. “If I'd thought for a second you were in danger with him, I would have stayed. I just couldn’t watch—” his voice broke. He looked at me and then down at the bed. He pressed his lips together. “I failed you. I'm so sorry. I let my feelings become more important than my job.”
I didn’t understand. “What are you talking about?”
He looked like he was chewing his cheek inside his mouth. He shook his head in twitches and jerks. “I couldn’t watch you be happy with Grayson. I left when you got to the pub. I didn’t stay with you. This is entirely my fault.”
I couldn’t bear to see him in pain, not this kind that I had never seen before, and it was breaking my heart all over again. “This is Herrick’s fault—not yours and not mine and not Grayson’s. Herrick’s.” I stroked a hand across his face. “He has paid for what he has done.” Somehow it didn't feel like Herrick had paid. It hadn’t been my hand that cut him and stilled his heart. I swallowed the bitter taste of that fact.
Maddox closed his eyes again. “I love you so much, Amillia, and I lived through a lifetime of nightmares when I realized you were gone.” He twitched his head back and forth. “I am so sorry.”
My lips parted, desperate to say something but scared he would rescind his words. He loved me. Not
just a regular amount either. He loved me so much. More than much. So much.
He looked at me like he was still pained and stroked my cheek. “I know I'm not worthy of you. I'm not royalty. But I will always be the one person you can count on. I will never fail you again.” He grabbed my dagger from the floor and cut his hand and then dragged the dagger across mine and pressed our palms together. The sting of the wound was nothing, compared to the ache in my chest and the thousand words I wanted so badly to say.
“I swear on my life that I will always protect yours.” He pressed my hand against his lips and kissed the back softly.
I leaned forward, but his face changed as he pulled back and he climbed off the bed. “I won't let my judgment be clouded by my feelings again.”
Finally, I spoke, mostly in despair, “What about my feelings?”
“Our feelings don't matter.” He shook his head. “You must marry a royal and produce an heir to rule the seven kingdoms.”
I wanted to scream.
He had finally confessed he loved me, his real true love, and he was taking all the joy out of it. “I don't give two rats' asses about the seven bloody kingdoms or the flaming heir I've apparently agreed to produce. I have loved you since I was six years old. I have loved you even though every day you have rejected me. In every possible way, you have rejected me.”
I sat up on my knees and looked up at him.
He took my hands in his. His eyes locked on mine and held them captive as his lip trembled when he spoke softly, “I watched you fall in love with me. I saw the smile cross your lips when it happened. I remember that day. It was the first day I realized I no longer had a heart.”
I scoffed, but he put a finger to my lip and pressed it. “I had no heart because you took it. I gave it to you before you even realized what it was. It is yours until I breathe my last breath, and even then I believe I will find a way to let it stay with you so you will always have a piece of me.” A single tear left his eye. It almost killed me to see him cry. He dropped my hand and walked from the room.