by Mj Fields
“You love my cock, don’t you?”
She wraps her mouth around it and nods her head slightly.
“The eggs are good but I need to come and I need to do it inside of you.”
She shakes her head no, sucks hard and takes me deeper.
“You starving? You missed me that much?”
She closes her eyes and I swear I see a tear escape as she pumps me while sucking and licking. I can no longer hold back. I need to give her what she is asking for. I grip the counter as white-hot heat blasts through my body, until her mouth is full.
“Christ, Angel,” I say as she licks and sucks until I am empty. Completely fucking empty.
She stands up and kisses my cheek. “Eat, please.”
In the past few months, Francesca has changed from a girl, broken, confused, untrusting, combative even, into a woman who now knows my word and love for her is true and unbreakable. She is selfless and in her I have nearly everything I never knew I needed. She is stronger than I could have ever believed possible.
Moments like this make me realize how lucky I am that I have her, and I know damn well she feels the same.
My need is hers, and hers is mine.
~*~
When I finish, I make my way to the bedroom where she is carrying my dress whites out of the closet.
Her lips are in a firm hard line. I know she is thinking of Will.
“I can do that.”
“I’m the wife of a soldier. I can do this.”
“Come here.”
She looks up at me. “I know you see me as weak and in need of coddling a lot of the time, Jax, but I’m not. Right now, I am going to be the strong one. You’ve just lost your father, yet you are trying to take care of me.”
“You see these colors, that uniform and you think of William, I know how close the two of you were. I-”
“I see this uniform and I think of you, Jaxson. You and your loss. My husband and his pain. I won’t argue with you. I won’t, so please-”
“I don’t want to argue, not with you.”
“Then with who?”
“That bitch who gave birth to me. That.” I stop, knowing I am losing my temper. I won’t do that.
“That what, Jaxson,” she asks, draping the uniform over the chair and walking towards me.
“No.”
“Sit, please.”
I am sitting on the edge of our bed and she is standing between my legs. Her hand runs up the back of my neck as she pulls my cheek against her chest. “I love how strong, proud, and unstoppable you are, Jax. I also love you without all that. I love you so much that I want it all.”
“He wasn’t a careless driver,” I say, unable to stop myself. “He wasn’t and she, fuck, Frankie, I know damn well it was no more an accident than mine.”
“Then we take care of it.”
“No we. I’ve already pulled you into this nightmare, I won’t-”
“What about Lily? If you think your mother is behind picking off people you love and now you have insinuated that you know about her-”
She stops when the phone rings. Then she takes it from my hand so quickly I can’t stop her and answers it.
“Hello.” She pauses to listen. “Helen, I am very sorry for your loss.” Again she pauses. “He’s in the shower, I will have him call you as soon as he gets out.” Her brows knit. “Of course he’ll be there.” Another pause. “That’ll be up to Jaxson.” She closes her eyes. “Again, Helen, I am very sorry for your loss.”
She hangs up the phone and looks at me.
“She wants you to come home for a couple of days-”
“You’ll come with me.”
“She prefers I not.”
“So that’s what, ‘That’ll be up to Jaxson’ was all about?”
“Yep.”
“I won’t go-”
“I won’t let you go without someone.”
“You won’t let me?” I am caught off guard.
“That’s right. Shadows or Titan. You can pick.”
“They’re busy, Angel.”
“Not too busy for you.”
“They’re getting ready for deployment. I want them -”
“How do you know that?”
“I know everything.” I look at her face. “Did you know?”
“Yeah, but they said you didn’t and that-”
“They should know better.”
“Pick one, or I will tie you up-”
“Shadows deals better with Mother than Titan. You’ll be at the services by my side, like a wife should be.”
“And this one wants to be.”
“You up for a two day trip?”
“I’m up for whatever it is you have to offer.”
“Won’t be with me.”
“Then no.”
“I need you and Titan for a mission.”
“A mission?”
“Mother is trying to sidetrack me. I worry about the Firefly. I want you and Titan in Canada.”
“To get her-” God she was excited. Thank God.
“To make sure there is no move in the next couple days. There’s another thing. I need Mimi to know what I am doing. If I can get my little girl in my life, I want Mimi to be in the frame of mind to prepare herself.”
She looked up and nodded ever so slightly.
“You have nothing to worry about. Not a damn thing, Francesca Irons.”
“I’ll do whatever you ask, Jax. I will never deny you. Not ever.”
“Good to know.” I take a deep breath. “We’re going to get dressed, pack our bags, and go meet Titan and Shadows.”
“Now?”
“Yes, I can’t wait another minute.”
WE PULL UP IN FRONT of City Hall at the same time as Jax’s phone rings. I see Shadows, Titan, and the Rev walking towards us.
“Yes, Mother.” He pauses to listen. “I will be there within an hour.” Again, he listens to her. “If you think that’s what my father would want then go on ahead. I will be there in an hour.” He sits back and runs his hand over his hair. “Goodbye, Mother.”
He gets out of the passenger side of the vehicle and turns to look at me, “Come on, Angel.”
“What are we doing here?”
“Whatever I ask.” He winks and shuts the door as Shadows opens mine.
“Morning little Will, let’s get this show on the damn road. We have chaos to cause, chop, chop.”
I am ushered to the sidewalk in a rush and I look at Jax. He cocks his head to the side as he pulls his shades down. A knowing little smirk plays on his lips and my stomach flips for two reasons. One, he just does that to me. My dream man, my lover, my protector, my husband in every way except legally. And two, he’s gonna make it legal… again, right here and right now.
“I’d carry you up these stairs if I could,” he says.
“I’ll do it for you,” Shadows chides in.
“Over my dead body,” Jax says with a hint of amusement in his voice.
I grab my phone from my bag and dial my mom. When she answers she tells me, “Hold on, she has a message.”
I look at Jax as he peers up from his phone. “Did you text my mother?”
“Yes.”
I wanted to be upset that he sprung this on me like this. But I am not. In my heart, Jax and I were married in the most beautiful way two people could be.
“Mom?”
“Oh, Francesca,” she knows this would be an issue for me, knew I would want them here to be part of this, again.
“Mom, this is not my wedding day. My wedding was at the house. It was-”
“It was beautiful. You were there, Dad was there and Will. Well, to me Will was there. This is but a formality.”
“Of course.”
“Now go. Call me when you can.”
There was a mix of emotions that danced in her voice. She was upset she wasn’t here, but happy that I was with Jaxson.
“Angel?”
“I’m ready,” I say, as I walk towards him in
a yellow maxi dress. Not what one wears to a wedding, but this wasn’t a wedding.
I wait for him to take the stairs; he shakes his head no and waves his hand in front of me to go ahead.
Once up the stairs, I stand and watch him, watching me.
“We’re already married, Francesca. We just need this in case-”
“I don’t need or care for an explanation. I want this too.”
~*~
I watch out the window of Titan’s truck as Jax and Shadows take off in the opposite direction. My heart is already heavy and my head is full of worry.
“He’s gonna be fine.”
“I know,” I say. “I just already miss him.”
“Suck it up soldier. You and I are taking a trip. Three days, little Will.”
“We’ll miss the-”
“No we won’t. Shadows got it covered.”
“Does Jax know?”
“Jax is getting an update right now. Listen up. His head is a little fucked up right now. We know what he wants and how to get shit done.”
“His head is fine, Titan.”
“Head out of the clouds, little Will. We have a Firefly to catch.”
“What do you mean? Jax is going to-”
“Get exactly what he deserves and I hope that bitch one and bitch two burn in hell.”
“By bitch one and two I can assume you’re talking about-”
“Mother Irons and Deveroux.”
“Right but-”
“She’s lost her mind. Politically driven, power hungry bitch has lost it. The body count is getting higher. Jonathan has been on base talking with Smith and then she and Deveroux show up-”
“So Jonathan and Smith-”
“Suspected that bitch and Deveroux. We found out a lot of shit, you know about his parents, about the kid, about,” he pauses. “When we get there, we confront the adoptive parents and convince them to bring Lily over the border, then she comes with us, they follow. They sign over custody and it’s done.”
“Titan, it’s not that easy.”
“It will be or they go to prison for money laundering and falsifying taxes among other things. The idiots have been living high on the hog for years. Begging to be taken down.”
“God, I don’t understand how people could be so awful.”
“Focus on the good you’re about to do. Remember those awful people deserve no mercy.”
I sit thinking about how that focus is what makes them good soldiers. “Titan, do you see your family?”
“Everyday.”
The conviction in his voice is unbreakable.
~*~
There is a car waiting for us when we walk out of the private plane at the airport in Niagara Falls. Titan shakes the man’s hand, I know he trusts him. I trust no one.
I look down at my phone while we are whisked away in the white SUV. I have a message.
I am not okay with the change in plans. I understand its necessity. I don’t like your involvement, yet there is no one I would rather have with her than you. I love you, Francesca Irons.
Your husband, Jaxson
I love you, Jax. Fly safe.
Your wife, Frankie
We sit in front of a two-story colonial home with a nicely landscaped lawn. There is a home security sign staked in the lawn and three vehicles in the driveway.
“Rev is inside, we don’t go in. When they come out, I’ll ride with them and you get the kid.”
“That fast? I thought we had three -”
“Three days to get everything completed. We’ll be back in the states tonight.”
He didn’t explain any further; he got out of the car and went to the house. I was alone with a man I didn’t know. I hadn’t even been introduced. I hadn’t even seen his eyes, only the back of his head and his face behind sunglasses for only seconds.
“I’m not your enemy, Frankie,” his voice was gravely.
“Never said you were.” I clenched my hands together.
He turned around and looked back at me, lifting his sunglasses, revealing a set of sky blue almost translucent eyes and sticks his hand out for me to shake. “Odin. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
I was still looking at his eyes when he started to pull his hand back. “Sorry, your-”
“I know.” He turned around and locked his eyes on the house again.
“It’s hard to trust anyone. I wasn’t trying to be rude.”
“I understand.”
“How long have you known Jaxson?”
“About five years.”
Five years. Odin must have known William too.
“Heads up,” Odin says before stepping out of the SUV. Once he is out I look at the house.
I watch as the Rev follows two adults to the car in front of us. Another woman and, I cover my mouth when I see a beautiful little brunette in a pink tutu holding a stuffed animal. She looks between both women, never at the man, and follows the younger of the two women to the car. Titan opens the door and holds it for the woman and the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen in my life as they get in.
They get in the SUV and her big blue eyes lock on mine before she quickly looks away. “Lily, why don’t you come sit next to me,” I say as I move to the back row of the SUV.
She looks to the woman, and the woman nods.
Lily sits next to me and I instinctively reach across her and pull down her seat belt, clicking it in place. “Safety first,” I say, trying to make light of a difficult situation.
“Thank you,” she whispers, as her grip tightens on her stuffed bear.
“Does he have a name?” I ask, pointing to her bear.
“Um, I call him Will,” her whisper nearly causes me to lose composure.
Quickly, I search inside myself to come up with something to say, “That’s one of my very favorite names.”
She looks up curiously, “It is?”
“Yes. It sure is.” I reach over and squeeze the foot of the bear. “Very soft.”
“Yeah,” she says, watching my hand before turning to look out the window.
I look up as Titan looks back at me.
“Lily, my name is Titan,” she turns slowly and looks at him. He sounds all business and I fear it will make her even more uncomfortable than I assume she already is. “Will is one of my favorite names too.”
His face softens, and he smiles a genuine smile. Very un-Titan like.
She smiles and looks down as she holds the bear’s feet in her hands. She picks it up and holds it out to Titan, “He’s soft.” She looks out of the corner of her eyes at me and I smile at her, even though I want to cry knowing she must be so afraid and confused right now.
After rubbing the bear’s foot he smiles, then Titan turns to the woman next to him. “We’ll drop you off at your home.”
“You have a house?” Lily asks, leaning forward.
“Yes, Miss Lily, I have a house.”
I found the question to be odd and Lily looked confused. I wanted to know why, but wouldn’t push. I wasn’t sure how Jax wanted this to go and even though I was already in love with the little girl, she was his and Mimi’s daughter. But make no mistake, when Jax and I had a proper amount of time to discuss this, Mimi would have limited access to Lily unless she had counseling and supervision.
I sat back and watched her look out the window; her hands kneading the brown bear sitting on her lap, an obvious sign of stress.
We pull in front of a small house in a neighborhood that is not as nice as the home Lily lived in. The woman looked back.
“Do you live here?”
“Yes,” the woman answers, her voice a bit shaky.
“And someone watches your children when you’re away, like Mother and Father, for work?”
“My children are grown, Lily. They have children of their own.”
“Oh,” she says and looks down, squeezing harder on the bear’s feet.
“Take care, Lily.”
“Okay,” Lily’s voice quivers.
/> “You’re a sweet girl.”
Tears pour out of her eyes and she holds the bear against her face, hiding. “Thank,” she stops and takes a quick intake of breath, “you.”
The woman gets out quickly and makes her way to the house.
“Hey Lily,” she looks up at me, her lower lips pushed slightly forward. “I want you to know that I am proud of you for being so strong.”
“O…kay…” She inhales a big breath and holds it.
“But you don’t have to be, you can cry.”
She shakes her head no, still holding her breath. I move over and wrap my arms around her and hold her trembling little body as tight as I can without hurting her. “Lily, it’s okay. You know why?” She shakes her head no. “Because I am gonna cry with you.”
“O..kay,” she says as she sobs.
“I’m so sorry. I promise you. I am going to do everything in my power to make you...” I have to stop because I know the floodgates are letting loose.
“Make me what?” She cries.
“Whatever you want.” This promise will not be in vain.
“I like brownies.”
“Then you’ll have them every day.”
AFTER ARRANGEMENTS ARE MADE AND the funeral director leaves the room, Mother looks at me. She says nothing, she just looks at me. I look down and see Frankie’s text.
‘Fly Safe.’
Apparently, Mother notices because I hear a huff and look up. We stare at one another, saying nothing.
She finally breaks the silence, “Are you done playing around with William’s sister?”
“My wife?” I ask as I stand. “No Mother, and I’m not going to be.”
“I won’t accept losing you too.”
“Don’t do this right now, Mother. Focus on the task at hand.”
“The task at hand? The task at hand!” she spits out. “Which task, Jackson? Grieving the loss of my husband, or trying to show grace and hang onto some shred of dignity when word gets out that he was fucking the help for the past umpteen years?! Tell me, Jaxson, which task shall I take on first?!”
I have no idea what she wants from me. She seems truly upset. I have never seen her lose composure. She is suspect number one in my father’s death in my eyes; a death caused by what they are calling an accident.