by M. Barnette
There'd been quite a lot of trouble in Danbridge, Roderik's men demanding that anyone in possession of Nikki return the woman to her rightful ‘master’ with an implied ‘or else.’ They'd searched every building, every shed in Danbridge. When that failed to yield their quarry, they'd tried to bribe and intimidate the people there to tell them where the woman had gone. But the residents played dumb, and finally the falling snow had sent the Rangers packing south again rather than be caught by winter in hostile territory.
But they'd be back.
And Colby was determined to be ready for them. They already had impressive defenses blocking the two passes leading into town. A series of walls and gates. But, like the gate and wall back in Danbridge, it wasn't going to hold up against a tank or shelling from a howitzer, even mortar rounds or rocket launchers would make short work of the best reinforced concrete.
No, the only way to stop Roderik would be through superior firepower—or superior tactics.
And that was why, after a discussion of tactics with the only ex-military man in town—a retired Marine Drill Sergeant—they'd put Bells in charge of the town's militia and munitions. He knew how to kill. More importantly, he knew how to protect people from being killed.
He had to pass Nikki's house on his way back from the munitions facility and he saw lights on inside her house.
His gaze went to the window, seeking a glimpse of her beyond the frilly curtains.
What he saw turned his heart to lead.
Nikki laughing, standing with her arms around Corwin, giving him an enthusiastic hug.
Seeing her like that, holding another man, drove home how deeply he missed being with her, missed her kisses, her laughter. An ache that wouldn't go away filled his chest.
She was better off with an engineer than she would be with someone like him.
Locked in its chains, the Dragon raised its head and cried out in misery, a few crystalline tears falling where no one could ever see them. The fell onto the ashes and desolation of a soul that had once belonged to a man as human as any other. A man who'd been named Jason.
* * * *
Nikki pulled away from Corwin. “That was so thoughtful of you,” she told him as she admired the kitten sculpture he'd brought for her. It was a grey kitten sculpted with its nose touching a butterfly, one paw raised inquisitively. She'd mentioned wanting a kitten and this was the closest he could get to her wish.
It was very thoughtful and sweet, and it made her uneasy.
"I'm glad you like it,” Corwin told her, a warm smile brightening his green eyes as he gazed down at her.
Nikki backed farther away from him. His height still made her skittish, or maybe it was just the fact that she didn't know him very well.
Or maybe it was another blond she really wanted. A sleek killer who was only a bit taller than she was, and never made her feel afraid as she often did with Corwin. He wasn't a bad man, he wasn't Roderik, but he made her uneasy.
His hand closed on her upper arm. “Hey, Nikki, where are you going?” he questioned quietly. It wasn't a tight, unyielding grip, but it sent a tiny stab of panic through her just the same.
"I thought I'd make us some tea or that coffee substitute Mary Kate brought yesterday."
"Why not just stay here and talk to me?” he asked, “I promise I won't bite."
"Ooookay,” she agreed, taking a seat on the chair closest to the door.
Sighing, he sat down on the couch and just regarded her in companionable silence.
He was attractive, with a firm jaw and a good smile. But there was something about the color of his eyes, that reminded her too much of Roderik. Roderik, whose Dragon was a deep green.
"I want you to move in with me,” he told her quietly.
"Corwin, I don't think our relationship is at that point."
"It could be if you'd just stop pining over someone who doesn't want you, Nikki."
"I'm not pining."
"Then what do you call it? God, Nikki I've seen you watching for him to go by in the evenings. And I've seen how you look at him during the weekly meetings of the Town Council. Why don't you just let it go? He doesn't love you. Even you've said that, so why hang onto a burnt out torch?"
Nikki sighed and closed her eyes. “I'm not carrying a torch for him, burnt out or otherwise."
"Then tell me why you won't make love with me?"
"Because I'm not ready for it!” she snapped back, genuinely tired of the way he'd begun to pressure her for sex over the last few days.
"You've known me for two months now, and we've hardly even kissed,” Corwin said in exasperation. “But you told me you'd only known him a couple of days when you became lovers. Don't you understand I want the same chance to show how much I love you as you gave him? And he doesn't love you! I do!"
"I know. I'm sorry, Corwin. I just..."
He got off the couch and moved to kneel at her feet. “I'm serious about this Nikki. I'm serious about you.” He took a small box out of his pocket and grinned. “And here's a little token of just how much I mean what I'm saying."
Nikki stared at the little box in his hand, her mouth gone dry, a roiling unsettled feeling beginning in her stomach. It had been happening a lot lately. The same sick feeling she'd always had any time Roderik had touched her. She felt trapped.
"I ... don't know what to say..."
"Try yes,” he suggested as he opened the box and pulled out the gold ring. There was an impressively large diamond set in it, and she knew it was just a bauble he'd picked up. Maybe even taken from the home of a family, off the finger of someone who had died. In the post Collapse world what meaning did a diamond have? He hadn't had to earn it by working hard, or saving and scrimping to show he loved her, he'd only had to find it lying around somewhere. She remembered the piles of jewelry they'd found in the department store, real pieces mixed willy-nilly with costume junk.
Bells's words whispered through her mind. We're vultures living off the corpse of civilization.
And like him, Nikki was tired of being a vulture. “I'm sorry, Corwin, but I just..."
He put a finger over her mouth. “Shhh ... Don't talk. Think it over.” He leaned in and kissed her, his mouth too possessive, his teeth closing on her bottom lip and biting, smarting, and she knew it would leave a noticeable bruise. Something else Bells had never done even once. He'd never hurt her, not even given her a hickey as if he'd known what would upset her somehow, as if he could read her thoughts. Being Immortal and a Dragon, maybe he could to some degree. She didn't know. She did however know she didn't like the way Corwin was pushing her tonight, as if that little gift of the sculpture and the offer of the ring somehow entitled him to something from her, something she'd plainly told him she wasn't ready to give.
"Don't,” she said as she pulled away and scrambled out of the chair, almost knocking him over, bolting for the kitchen.
"Nikki! Dammit! What is wrong?” He got up and followed her.
"I'm sorry, Corwin. I'd just like to be alone for a while. Do you mind?"
He stood there, looking down at her, a frown on his face. “Yeah, I do mind Nikki. You're avoiding me now and I want to know why."
She watched as he took up a position in the kitchen doorway, leaning against the door frame, blocking her way out. It sent a chill through her. Aggression. Male dominance. That was why she was so hesitant. He was displaying traits that sent a frission of alarm through her. It was why she kept putting him off.
Yes, he was tall, and probably stronger than she was. But this was Corwin, not Roderik. And it was stupid to keep being afraid of big men because of what Roderik had done.
He's not Roderik. He's not going to do the things Roderik did, so stop being such a coward.
"I keep thinking about Roderik,” she replied truthfully.
Sighing, he crossed the kitchen to put his arms around her and pull her close. “Then give me a chance to prove I'm not like him. Please, Nikki?” He cupped her chin and made her look up. “I want
to prove to you that I'm not like that trumped up bastard."
Her belly quivered, but it wasn't arousal she was feeling as she said, “All right, Corwin. You've got your chance."
"You won't regret it, my love,” he promised as he swept her up in his arms. Kissing her, he carried her to the bedroom.
* * * *
An unexpected blizzard trapped everyone in their homes that night, keeping people inside where it was safe and reasonably warm.
Everyone but a certain belled man who hadn't been able to sleep all night. The tension of the coming storm had kept him on edge. That and a nagging feeling he should go see Nikki. That was an urge he'd resisted, but it kept growing, the tension thrumming along his nerves until it reached a point he could not longer sit still. He'd paced for two hours, then pulled his coat on and stalked out into the blinding storm. It was almost two in the morning, but he had to make sure she was all right.
The cold bit at him with icy fangs, the power of the wind almost enough to knock him down the stairs. He paused midway between his apartment and the street, knowing he was being a five kinds of fool for going out in this, and for thinking Nikki would want to see him. She had Corwin now, and there couldn't have been anything between them anyway. Much as he still ached for her at night, he had to admit that she could never accept what he was. Hell, most days he hated himself because of the things he'd done and would undoubtedly do in the future. So much killing and death, so much blood on his hands. He was starting to remember some of the past, having disturbing nightmares of blood and death. Dreams that clung like a nuclear wasteland of destruction in his memories, images that proved the taint of eternal damnation was darkening his soul. They left him with the irrefutable knowledge that no one with so much blood on his hands deserved love.
Especially not the love of someone like Nikki.
Roe Deer. Devoted physician. Beautiful, caring, and compassionate Nikki.
He knew now why his memory of the past had been so disjointed, so hazy. He'd slipped between the cracks of reality and, like it always did, it mercifully blurred what had happened in the prior world. But this time there'd been the added brain scrambling effect of going head-on into a tree at high speed. The impact and resultant damage to his skull and the brain under it had totally blanked out everything.
And from the bits he could remember, he was grateful to that tree because the few details that came back to him at random intervals when he was awake, and the nightmares that haunted his sleep, were more than enough to make him realize he didn't even belong in the company of the human race, much less the good people living in Colby.
He stumbled at the bottom of the stairs, went to his knee as a gust of fierce wind tore around the corner of the building. Ice was already forming in his hair, and he couldn't feel his fingers. Not that it mattered much. He already knew he couldn't freeze, and certainly wouldn't die from cold. There really wasn't anything he could die from short of being slain by another Dragon.
One of his nightmares involved an explosion and waking up in pain beyond imagining. After that dream it had taken several long drinks from the bottle of whiskey in his apartment to get the shaking to stop. Even now the recollection of the dream made him shudder in horror.
He doubted anything could compare to that sort of agony.
Except losing Kimiko.
And knowing that he loved Nikki and couldn't have her.
Fool, if you know that why in hell are you wondering around in the middle of the fucking night heading for her house thorough a blizzard? Hmm ... I guess being a fool sums that one up.
The lights were still on in the house when he got there, and he knocked on the door. No one answered, and he figured the roar of the wind was drowning out the sound. He tried the doorknob and found that it wasn't locked.
Shaking himself like a dog to rid his clothes of caked snow, he stepped into the house, the warmth of the room comparable to a blast furnace to his chilled body.
It was quiet in the house except for the roar of the storm. He checked the kitchen and found it empty. He turned off the light in the kitchen and was about to turn the one off in the living room when he heard a soft, familiar sound.
Stalking across the room, he entered the hallway and paused, hearing the noise a second time. Nikki's room.
There was a sudden ache in his chest, but he couldn't just back out of the house. He had to know. Had to be sure.
Her bedroom door was open a crack and he paused outside. Listening.
The bed was creaking in a rhythm he knew, understood. The color drained from his face as he heard a woman's quiet moan. Nikki. He turned, took a step, the world pitching unsteadily around him. The pain of knowing he'd really lost her was almost more than he could take.
He'd survived worse. At least he could go on knowing she was alive. Happy.
In the arms of another man. Even that was better than dying in his embrace. He didn't know if he could endure that kind of pain ever again, saying good-bye to someone who meant more to him than life, a life he was so very tired of living.
She'd be in another man's bed, be another man's wife. But that's better that than the alternative, he told himself.
"Stop, please stop..."
There was pain in her voice, the tension of fear.
His head snapped around.
"Please..."
He shoved the door open.
Nikki was on her back, pinned to the bed, Corwin moving over her, inside her. He had her wrists captured in his hands, the position purely controlling, completely dominating.
He grabbed the man by one leg and yanked him off of Nikki, throwing the larger man across the room as easily as a child threw a toy. The fury boiled over, pallid blue mist tinted with aqua spun around him.
He stood over Corwin, seething, and pointed to his face. “You see this?” he said. “You see what you're doing?"
Corwin looked up, mouth agape. “Your eyes are changing color!".
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” Bells roared, his body language promising violence of the most deadly type.
* * * *
Tears of pain and humiliation streaked Nikki's face, but her fear was gone, forgotten at the sound of a voice shouting in outrage, the removal of the hands and weight holding her down.
Bells. Her Bells was there, stalking toward Corwin like an avenging god, eyes burning with the maelstrom blue of nuclear fire, flickers of emerald flame and trails of aqua and pale blue mist swirling trailing off of him as he moved, the Dragon rising around him.
Corwin scrambled backward, terror in his gaze. “Wait! I wasn't hurting her."
"LIAR!” The roar reverberated through the room and the small blond grabbed Corwin and hurled him out of Nikki's bedroom with the ease a terrier would have tossed a rat.
Grabbing the sheet and wrapping it around herself, Nikki bolted after the enraged Immortal. “Bells! Don't kill him! Bells!"
If he heard her he gave no sign, his hands closing on Corwin.
This time the man made the mistake of striking the Immortal, punching him as hard as he could. He might as well have missed for all the affect it had on the Dragon. Horrified, Nikki watched as Bells grabbed hold of Corwin's wrist and squeezed, snapping the bones of Corwin's forearm as if they were twigs.
Corwin screamed in pain and struggled vainly to escape.
This was Bells, this was the Immortal Beast that lay within him, and it was terrifying in its killing aspect. She could feel It as a living entity, ancient, immensely powerful. And the Beast was about to murder Corwin.
He'd hurt her, but she didn't want him dead. He wasn't Roderik and he'd tried to prove that, but he'd made mistakes. He'd underestimated how terrified she was of being under a man, held down and helpless to do anything but submit. Corwin was about to pay for that error with his life, unless she could find a way to stop the Dragon and reach the man beneath the murderous rage.
Hands closed on Corwin, the man kicked and screamed. “Stop him! Nikki! Stop this maniac!"
/> She grabbed Bells by the left arm, but she might as well have grabbed a truck and tried to stop it barehanded. He shook her off and slammed a fist into Corwin's stomach, the man shrieking in agony. The impact was brutal, and a second one might well be fatal.
"JASON! STOP! STOP IT!” she screamed at him, shoving her body between the two men, making the Dragon see her.
Eyes of cobalt flame stared at her. “He hurt you.” The voice was velvet soft, concerned, full of tenderness.
"Shh ... No, I'm not hurt,” she lied. It had hurt, emotionally and physically. But she knew if she told the Dragon that they'd likely have to clean up Corwin's remains with a mop and bucket. Laying a hand on the belled man's cheek, she caressed him, trying to reach the man inside. “It's all right, Jason. Let him go."
He obeyed her, releasing Corwin, who scrambled back, sobbing in unbridled terror at what he was seeing, what was happening.
"My God ... My God...” he gasped, “one of the Immortals. He's one of the Immortals."
The cobalt gaze left her face to focus on Corwin, the hate in the eyes mirrored in the twisting of the man's visage into something inhuman, draconic.
Strangely Nikki realized she wasn't afraid, that she had no reason to ever fear Bells. And she didn't. On some instinctive level she couldn't have explained she knew that no matter what she might do to him, Bells, the Dragon, her Jason, would never hurt her.
Nikki didn't dare take her attention away from Bells, not even to tell Corwin to run. Not when it might put the engineer at risk. Much as she'd like to cut his balls off for what he'd done to her, and regardless that she'd never want to be in the same room alone with him ever again, she didn't want him dead. Colby needed his abilities with the power grid too much, and what he'd done had just been a stupid male mistake. Pure masculine ego. It wasn't worth killing him over.
On further consideration she decided that he probably didn't deserve to live in a town of decent people, but that wasn't something she'd get to resolve herself. She would be sure it was brought to the attention of the Town Council.