We watch Dante leave and I realize that we aren’t the only ones. The eyes of every single woman, and a few married, follow him as well. Lucien shakes his head. “He always attracts attention. Wherever we go. It’s as though they can’t believe he’s really a priest.”
“How long has he been one?”
“Fully? For about six years. Something happened—I don’t know what—one minute he was happy and opening a restaurant, and the next he was selling the restaurant and joining the priesthood. I’ve never been able to get out of him what happened. On the odd occasion, I get the feeling he regrets his decision, but I don’t really know because it’s the one subject that is taboo between us.”
“Is he a good priest?”
“He is. The church where he’s at was a disaster when he was appointed there, but he’s turned it around and gets a full house every Sunday. There are a few, um, ladies who like to follow him with their eyes, which puts the fear of god into him.”
“I’m not surprised. He’s cute,” I say as I put the last bit of salad into my mouth feeling Lucien’s eyes on me. “Okay, he’s not that cute. Happy now.”
“Hmm.”
“I’m tired,” I sit back and caress my stomach, “and in need of a sleep after all.”
I didn’t want to sleep this afternoon, but I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.
“Okay. Let me get the bill and we’ll go home.” Lucien waves to the server and pulls out his wallet but I’m barely aware of it…all I can think about is the word home.
“Home,” I whisper and watch his eyes darken with desire, “I really like the sound of that.”
“So do I.” He leans towards me and kisses my waiting lips. Pulling away, he whispers, “You are so beautiful, Sabrina.”
He prevents me from answering with his fingers over my lips.
“Don’t say anything. Let’s go so you can get some sleep.”
Wrapping an arm around my waist, he practically hauls me out of my seat to the amusement of our server.
“Have a good afternoon,” she says turning her back, but not before I can see the grin on her face.
Going back to my conversation with Lucien, I ask, “Please don’t let me sleep too long. I’m craving lasagna for dinner.”
“I won’t, babe.” He smiles, kissing me on top of my head.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Lucien
Tonight, not only have I impressed Sabrina with my cooking skills, but myself.
When Dante had fitted out the kitchen, it also included a shelf full of easy to follow recipe books so not wanting to wake Sabrina, I’d looked up lasagna and followed the books instructions to the T. The end result was a lasagna that tastes really good. And considering Sabrina is on her second piece, I’d say she’s enjoying it as well.
“I can’t believe you made me this. You always said you could only cook toast.” She grins.
“Dante has been wanting to give me cookery lessons for as long as I can remember. So when I gave him free reign with getting the kitchen sorted, he made sure I had a shelf full of tutorials.”
“I think I need to thank him the next time I see him.”
No way!
“Um, let’s keep him in suspense.”
She stops eating and laughs.
“He’s more like a brother than a cousin to you, isn’t he?”
She always manages to work me out.
“I stayed with him after the fire.” I pause not wanting to say her name out loud, but it’s going to be unavoidable tonight. “After Alyssa walked away.”
Sabrina pauses, and letting her cutlery drop to her now empty plate, says, “You can mention her name Lucien, but don’t expect me to not have evil thoughts about what I’d love to say to her if I ever see her.”
She surprises me with her outburst. I know she’s as possessive with me as I am with her, but to hear her speak as a mama bear protecting her cubs, silences me.
Tonight I’m going to tell her everything about the fire, and show her my back. She’s seen my groin, hip and buttock, even the slight scarring on my thigh, but I’ve never given her time to really look. It’s going to be different tonight because my arm and back took the brunt of the fire. It still makes me want to hurl when I see it.
“Hey, where’d you go?” Sabrina asks, bringing me back to her.
“Sorry.” I shrug and decide to start with how I intend to go on and tell her the truth. “I was thinking about our talk later and showing you the damage to my body. It makes me sick whenever I catch a glimpse in the mirror so—”
“You’re afraid that I’m going to react the same or worse?”
I nod.
She gets up from her place at the table as I push the chair I’m sitting on away so she can straddle me.
I smile at her. She can’t get as close as I’d like because of our growing child, but as my hands settle on her bottom to keep her from falling off, I groan as she rubs my hardening cock.
“Will you stay still, please?”
“I love feeling you nestled against my pussy.” She grins.
I throw my head back and close my eyes from the sight of her.
Tonight she’s wearing a red wraparound dress, which barely contains her breasts and with her straddling me, the dress has fallen open showing her smooth thighs. Knowing there is only my pants and her panties between what I want is driving me crazy and causing my dick to throb with need as she wiggles around on the base of me.
“Tonight, after you’ve told me everything. I want you naked as the day you were born, sitting on this chair. I want to feel your chest against mine—somehow—as you bury your cock deep inside me. I need to be able to touch you everywhere, and not just where you dictate.”
I’m finding it difficult to breathe with her words and the rotating of her hips.
Pulling her dress up at the back, I work my way beneath and freeze when I feel her naked ass.
“Surprise.”
“Oh God.”
I grip her bottom tight against me, and rising up from the chair, I walk to the opposite end of the dining room to lay her out on top of the table.
Her nipples are ready to burst from her dress so leaning over, I free them before my mouth descends, sucking and licking them into tight peaks.
“I’m going to love watching you nurse our child.”
“I like that idea.”
Straightening up, I open her dress, and find that I’m unable to look anywhere else but at my woman. Her breasts are now twice the size that they were with her dark, dusty nipples hard pinpoints of arousal. Moving down, my gaze caresses her stomach, also swollen because of her pregnancy before moving to her trimmed pussy.
As my eyes stay focused on her, I lick my lips and nearly come on the spot when she places her feet on the table and opens her legs wide.
Dropping to the floor, I pull her legs over my shoulders and slowly lick her. Back and forth, back and forth while I keep her hips in place as she tries to wiggle away from my mouth.
She’s panting and squirming, trying to close her legs, but I’m not letting up. Shoving my tongue inside her, she shatters.
Nothing tastes as good as having her release on my tongue.
Fuck!
I grab the base of my cock through my pants and squeeze, trying to ward off my own release, but I’m too late and come in my pants like a fuckin’ teenager.
Panting through my own pleasure, I bring Sabrina back to earth with my tongue.
Her legs are now like jelly, loose about my neck. Moving them back down, I stand and gaze into her swimming eyes. I frown.
“I’m okay.” I take the hand she holds out to me and pull her into a sitting position. “It’s just that I want to feel you inside me.”
Have I made her doubt my intentions because of my refusal to make love to her until we’ve talked?
That’s the last thing I want.
Taking hold of her dress, I wrap it back around her, and kiss her on the nose. “Let’s go and get cleaned
up and talk.”
“Okay…And Lucien. Don’t worry. I’m here with you no matter what you say or what you show me.”
I nod and try to accept her words while lifting her into my arms and heading for the stairs.
She snuggles into me, and the pressure in my chest is getting worse the closer I’m getting to bare all.
Perhaps I’ll feel nothing but relief once I’ve told her and she’s still here with me, like Dante suggested.
I’ve never felt as vulnerable as I do now.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Sabrina
I really wish I knew what to do for Lucien right now. He’s settled me on a large, thick pile rug in front of the fire, and he’s now pacing back and forth.
He’s my everything, and I wish there was a way for him to believe that I won’t leave him because of his past, which includes a scarred back.
He turns to pace again and I can’t watch him anymore.
“Lucien,” he stops and gives me a startled look, as though he thought he was alone, “if you don’t want me coming over there you need to come and sit with me and blurt it all out. Now.”
I hope that was firm enough.
After a slight hesitation, he moves towards me and sits opposite.
“Thank you…Lucien,” I reach out and touch his knee, “I know this is difficult for you, but I promise you will feel better once you’ve told me and it’s off your chest, not between us anymore.”
Settling back against the large throw cushions that he propped me up with, I watch as he stares into the fire when I ask, “Doesn’t the fire in the hearth bother you?”
“No,” he gives me a wry smile. “It used to. Straight after and for a while, I couldn’t see fire of any kind without having flashbacks. I can’t say I’m over it, otherwise I wouldn’t have such a hard time talking to you about it, but I’ve learned to live with it.”
“Okay. Tell me your story Lucien.”
He continues to gaze into the fire while I watch him. I want to hold him, to wrap my arms around his shoulders, but I stay where I am and wait.
I don’t have to wait long.
“I was driving from my parents’ place when the truck in front of me ran a stop sign, right into the side of a car that had the right of way. The truck pushed the car towards the embankment, and it went over. I pulled off the road, rang emergency services while the bastard responsible climbed from the cab of his truck. I could see he was okay so I made my way to the embankment. I got a strong smell of alcohol as I ran past him. I froze and turned to look at him, and saw the moment he realized I knew. I didn’t stop. I just made my way down to the car that had gone over.
“There was smoke, but no fire when I reached it, and discovered there was a woman and child trapped inside. The woman’s window was already down, so although she was unconscious, I managed to unclip her and drag her to safety.”
He glances at me before continuing, “I had to crawl back into the car to get Samantha because during the rolling of the car her foot had gotten stuck between the seat and the side of the car. It didn’t take me long to get her free. It was as I was trying to get her out of the car that I saw the front of the vehicle ignite.” He rakes his hands through his hair as silent tears track down my face at the anguish I can hear in his voice.
“I knew we had to get out of there fast, so I pushed her through the open window and was pulling myself out when my tee shirt caught fire. Before it lit me up, I managed to get free of the car, and I picked Samantha up and threw her as far as I could. Christ, I threw her away. Every time I shut my eyes for years, I could hear her cries as she landed hard on the ground.”
I can’t stay put any longer. Crawling between his legs, I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on tight to him. “You saved her life doing that. You have to know that.”
He eventually nods.
“Let me get this out.”
I move and sit back where I was and wait for him to get his emotions in check to carry on.
“Before,” he hesitates, “I could get my shirt off the whole thing was on fire, the pain, the smell…Unfortunately, I remember everything, until I was shoved to the ground then thankfully I lost consciousness. I was in and out of it for days.” He sighs and finally meets my gaze. “I’m not going to bore you with my treatments, and you know what Alyssa said to me. When I was finally given the all clear to travel, and with Michael’s help, I got to Colorado and Dante. I spent two years out here. First at his cabin as he’d just taken up his appointment at the church he’s still at now, then later here. I fell in love with the mountains, it was like home but I had my own privacy. I owe him everything, Sabrina. He saved me.”
My tears are falling uncontrollably now and I lean into Lucien as he moves to my side and wipes them away with his thumb.
“Samantha and her mom, were they okay?”
“Samantha suffered a broken ankle, her mom a concussion.”
“Sabrina, please don’t cry. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”
“I can’t help how I feel. I wish we’d been together back then. You’d have had me to help you as well. Things would have been so different these past six years.”
He kisses me and lingers over my lips. “You’ve no idea how much I want you.”
I rake my fingers through his hair and with a gentle tug pull him back to me. “You have one more thing to do, then your past will have happened, but you’ll be able to look forward, towards the future with me and our baby because I’m not going anywhere…and if you so much as suggest I will, I’m going to cause serious bodily harm, to you.”
A slight smile appears on his handsome face as he holds my gaze. He nods his head in acceptance.
Settling back on his haunches, he closes his eyes and quickly removes his tee shirt, tossing it away.
As much as I want to look at his chest and touch him, I keep my eyes on his face and wait for him to look back at me again. When he does he finally takes a breath, but his mouth stays in a tight line of stress.
I need to look at him so he can relax because I hate seeing him like this.
Very slowly, I move towards him and spreading his legs I crawl between. Bending over, I kiss his bellybutton while caressing over his abs with my fingers. I leave a wet trail upwards and meet his eyes as I swirl my tongue around each of his nipples in turn.
A shudder runs through him at my touch. Without taking my mouth from his chest, I reach towards my hips and slide my fingers between his where he has placed his hands. I’m ready to explore him but I want to make sure he’s ready.
Pulling away, I hover over his lips. “It’s only me Lucien. Please trust me.”
After a few heartbeats, he whispers, “I do trust you.”
And I realize he’s telling me the truth, which gives me the courage I’m looking for.
Even though I know in my heart that I will never walk away from him because of his scars, I’m still really nervous that I’m going to burst into tears when I see them and that he’ll misunderstand and think he repulses me. He could never repulse me. I love him.
Settling back, I look at our joined hands and slowly start to move up the scarred skin of his arm. I’m guessing this isn’t as bad as his back, but it’s bad enough.
Most of the skin on his arm is scarred. Starting at the puckered skin on his wrist, my hands trace up to the evil looking ones on his bicep that reaches up his arm and over his shoulder. I’m positive they are probably going down his back as well. I glance at Lucien and he’s staring at my hands on him, but he won’t meet my eyes.
He’s ashamed I’m seeing him like this.
Not wanting to push him away, I lean forward and trace some of the scars with my lips and feel his other hand tighten on me the further up his arm I travel with my tongue.
“You don’t need to do that,” he growls trying to pull his arm free. I’m not letting go.
“Kissing you like this is the only way I can think of to prove to you that once and for all that I accept you
the way you are.”
His eyes stay on me but he doesn’t say anything else as I go back to kissing him. The closer I get to his shoulder, the more nervous I’m becoming. I’m wondering how badly his back suffered to his arm, and hoping the sight doesn’t cause me to give in to the tears that I feel behind my eyes.
Lucien is in control of everything in his life apart from what happened to him, and now, for me, he’s made himself vulnerable. I can’t go to bits on him now.
Clambering over his outstretched leg, I move around behind him and feel him tense under my hands and hear his breathing turn shallow.
Without taking my hands from his skin, I settle behind him before I look.
I thought I was prepared. I wasn’t.
My hand shakes on his shoulder when I feel his hand enclose mine.
“Let me grab my shirt.”
What?
I quickly slide my legs on either side of his, and tell him, “Don’t you dare.” Then more softly, I add. “Please don’t hide from me now Lucien.”
There isn’t any part of his back that has been spared, and I’m not sure where to touch first.
“Will I cause you pain if I touch you.”
“No. I can’t feel most of my side, but the rest I can in degrees depending on where you touch…but you don’t need to do this.”
“I know I don’t need to,” I whisper as the tears slide down my face for the brave, vulnerable man sitting in front of me, “but I want to. You’re just going to have to accept that I’m not going anywhere.”
My hands shake as I reach out and start gently tracing over his uneven skin and scars on his back. Some spots still look raw, even six years after the fire. Needing to show him the same way I did with his arm, I lean forward and place kisses over the skin I can reach with my stomach in the way.
Hearing a whoosh of air escape his mouth, I have a feeling that I’ve found a particular sensitive spot so I lick in the same area and feel him shudder.
Hmm.
Getting up on my knees, I kiss more of him even the really bad areas when I suddenly get the urge to hold him. So I slip my arm beneath his and splay my fingers on his stomach while I continue kissing him.
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