by Dilly Court
‘Ah, such is fame,’ Franklin mused.
‘But you have an interesting history,’ Christian said slyly. ‘I’ve done a bit of sleuthing, Miss Lily, and I’ve unearthed some fascinating facts about your family.’
Lily shivered as a tingle ran up her spine, but she held her head high, feigning ignorance. ‘I don’t know what that could be, gentlemen. Now if you’d be kind enough to let me pass, I’ve got things to do.’
Christian folded his arms across his chest. ‘This is all a bit of a comedown for your lot, isn’t it, miss? I mean, your grandpa was the dockmaster for many years, living in that big house on the waterfront, and now you’re stuck here in a couple of rented rooms above a tobacconist’s shop. Not what you’re used to, is it?’
‘It’s just temporary,’ Lily said, attempting to sound confident. ‘We’re looking for something more suitable, but my brothers have to be near the fire station.’
‘Yes, that leads me to another point. What did your brothers say when you bowled up in the middle of that huge conflagration? I can imagine that they were not best pleased; after all, you are just a girl. How old are you, miss?’
Lily decided that she did not like Christian with his mean ferret-face and insolent sneer. She looked round for a means of escape and saw that Franklin was setting up his camera. It was pointing directly at her. She picked up the coal scuttle. ‘That’s none of your business, sir. Now please let me pass. I’ve nothing more to say to you.’
‘We can’t let you go without giving us another picture, and I’d like to know how your mother will feel when she sees her daughter’s face on the front page. I understand that she ran off with her art teacher, and she’s now living in what might be called an unconventional style. You must have been quite a little girl when she abandoned you. How did you feel about that?’
‘I’ve nothing to say.’ Lily heard her voice break with emotion despite her attempts to remain calm. She must not let them see how much their callous snooping hurt and upset her.
‘Look this way, miss.’
She turned her head to look at Franklin but when she realised he was about to take her picture she raised her hands to cover her face. ‘I don’t want this. Please go away and leave me alone.’
‘Not a chance, ducks,’ Christian said with a throaty chuckle. ‘I’m not letting this story go. Is it true that your mother’s lover is a famous artist now and keeps company with Mr Dante Gabriel Rossetti and the rest of the Brotherhood?’
‘I don’t know anything. Please let me pass. I want to go indoors.’
‘You heard her.’ Gabriel’s voice reverberated off the walls in the narrow confines of the alley. He strode up to Franklin, snatching the cloth from the camera and tossing it onto the ground. ‘Miss Larkin doesn’t want her photograph taken, thanks, mate. Now push off.’
Christian took a menacing step towards him. ‘You damage that valuable piece of equipment and you’ll have to pay for it, cully.’
‘You’re trespassing,’ Gabriel countered. ‘And you’re not welcome here. You heard the lady; she has nothing to say.’
Christian made a move towards him but Gabriel gave him a shove that caught him off balance and sent him toppling onto the cobblestones.
‘I’ll have you in court for assault,’ Christian roared, scrambling to his feet.
Ignoring him, Gabriel took the coal scuttle from Lily’s hand. When they were safely inside he closed the door. ‘Are you all right, Lily?’
It was only then that she realised she was trembling from head to foot but she nodded her head. ‘Th-thank you. I’m fine.’
He eyed her with a quizzical smile. ‘And now you’re famous. That was a very brave thing you did last night.’
She mounted the stairs ahead of him. ‘You’ve seen the papers?’
‘I could hardly miss the story. You were headline news. Lily in the Flames – what a title for a photograph, or better still an oil painting – I wish I’d thought of it.’ He followed her up the narrow flight of stairs, hesitating in the doorway of the living room. ‘May I come in for a moment?’
‘Yes, of course.’ She was relieved to see that Grandpa still slept soundly and had not been disturbed by the rumpus outside. She watched as Gabriel placed the scuttle in the grate and she was suddenly embarrassed by her humble surroundings. She clasped her hands tightly in front of her as she tried to think of something to say.
‘I’m afraid they’ll be back,’ Gabriel said in a matter-of-fact voice. ‘The gentlemen of the press rarely live up to their name when they get the scent of a good story.’
‘You heard what they said then? About my mother, I mean.’
‘You mustn’t take it to heart, Lily. There are always two sides to every story and I don’t think your mother was entirely to blame for her actions.’
‘How do you know so much about my family?’ She was beginning to suspect that he knew more about her than she had thought possible.
‘What makes you think I do?’
‘Please don’t answer a question with another question.’ She realised that she had spoken sharply and she managed a rueful smile. ‘I didn’t mean to snap at you, Gabriel. It’s just that I’m so tired of everyone treating me like a child. If you know something about Ma, please tell me.’
‘Would you like to meet her, Lily?’
‘There you go again, asking another question.’
‘I do know her, as it happens, and she gave me a message for you.’
Lily’s legs gave way beneath her and she sat down heavily on the nearest chair. To be in the company of someone who knew her mother was as shocking as it was exciting. ‘She gave you a message for me?’
‘She would like to see you, Lily. I showed her your sketch and she was most impressed.’
‘I’m almost twenty, Gabriel. The last time I saw my mother I was just nine years old and now all of a sudden she wants to see me?’
‘She thought you might feel like that and she understands. She said she would leave it to you and abide by your decision, but I can take you to her this minute, if you so wish.’
She shook her head, dazed by the sudden turn of events. ‘Did she really say she wanted to see me?’
‘She did, and I believe she was sincere.’
Lily pressed her hand to her brow as a multitude of conflicting emotions assailed her. When she was a child she had prayed for this moment, but suddenly and inexplicably she was afraid. ‘After all this time,’ she said softly. ‘Are you absolutely certain, Gabriel?’
‘I’m only passing on the message, Lily. I can see that you might not want to know her after what she did to you and your brothers and sisters, and I would understand if you said no.’
‘Did she say she wanted to see them too?’
‘No, Lily. Just you.’
Torn between the desire to see Ma again and loyalty to her family, Lily struggled with her conscience. ‘No,’ she said slowly. ‘It wouldn’t be fair on the others. If Ma doesn’t want to see my brothers and sisters I can’t go behind their backs. They would never forgive me, and I would never forgive myself. It would tear our family apart and there’s been enough heartache in the past.’
He took her hand and held it, his eyes searching her face. ‘Are you sure this is what you want?’
‘No, of course it isn’t.’ She snatched her hand away to dash angry tears from her cheeks. ‘Oh, I wish I’d never driven that stupid fire engine and had my picture plastered all over the front pages of the newspapers.’
‘You’re upset,’ Gabriel said gently. ‘I’ll go now and leave you to think about your decision. If you change your mind, let me know.’
‘I won’t. It would be very wrong of me to sneak off without telling the others. If Ma wants to see us again she must make the first move.’
‘I understand.’ He produced a silver case from his breast pocket and took out a gilt-edged visiting card. ‘But if you should change your mind, this is where you can contact me.’
She took the card and
examined it closely. Printed in elegant copperplate, the address was in Gower Street, an area with which she was unfamiliar. ‘I don’t think I will ever have need of this, but thank you anyway. It was kind of you to come.’
‘Now you make me feel like a guest at a tea party. I hope we can still be friends.’
‘Of course.’
‘And there’s something I wanted to ask you.’
She was quick to hear the tentative note in his voice which sat at odds with his usual confident manner and she was intrigued. ‘Ask away.’
‘I mentioned it before and I was sincere in my offer. I’d like to take you on as my pupil. You have a great talent, Lily, and it would be a crime to suppress or ignore it.’
To be tutored by a professional would be a dream come true, but she was painfully aware that it was not for her. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t afford lessons. I can’t even afford to buy more paints to refill the box that Ma gave me all those years ago.’
‘I would supply all the material you need, Lily. Is that the only reason?’
‘No, it isn’t, Gabriel. I have to find work so that I can contribute to the housekeeping. Nell is looking for a place to rent where we can be more comfortable.’
‘There’s more to it than that, I think.’
‘It’s hard to explain, and I doubt if you’d understand.’
‘I think I do,’ Gabriel said gently. ‘But I can’t bear to see a gift like yours wasted.’
‘Maybe one day, when we are more settled, I could take you up on your offer.’
‘Then we must hope that day comes soon, Lily. Perhaps I’ll see you down in the docks when I go sketching?’
‘It’s possible,’ she said, attempting a smile. He would never know how much it cost her to turn down such a generous offer, but she realised now that she had lived in a dream world for far too long.
He took her hand and raised it to his lips. ‘Merry Christmas, Lily.’
‘Merry Christmas, Gabriel.’
She stood there for some time after his footsteps had died away. Had she been wrong in refusing to see Ma? Her heart was telling her that she should have gone with Gabriel, but a small voice in her head insisted that she had been right to say no. The others would never have forgiven an act which they must consider to be treachery. She went to kneel by the bed she now shared with Molly and reached underneath for her paintbox. Opening it, she tucked Gabriel’s calling card inside, heaving a despondent sigh at the sight of the small china pans now sparkling white having given up the last of their rainbow hues. Without the means to buy more paint she would have to limit her artistic output to sketching from now on. She tucked the box back in its hiding place and rose slowly to her feet.
In these dreary surroundings it didn’t feel a bit like Christmas. She gazed sadly at the two iron bedsteads and the truckle bed where Aggie laid her head at night. They might not have lived like toffs in the dockmaster’s house, but it had held all her childhood memories, both happy and sad. All that was left of their old home were their beds, the deal kitchen table, six bentwood kitchen chairs and the dresser containing what was left of Ma’s prized dinner service. The two rocking chairs placed opposite each other in the window were from the old kitchen, and on the floor was a scattering of rag rugs, painstakingly made by Aggie, but they did little to disguise the fact that the floorboards were well worn and uneven. Despite Lily’s attempts to scrub them clean, the dirt was ingrained. Nell had made an attempt to conceal the fact that the plaster was crumbling in large patches from the walls by hanging some of the pictures taken from their old home. The result was oddly depressing as most of the images were monochrome seascapes or sepia tints of sailing ships, reminders of Grandpa’s early days as a seafarer. The paper chains, over which she and Molly had taken so much trouble, hung limply against the wallpaper with its much faded and almost indistinguishable pattern of cabbage roses. There was not much of a festive air about the place they were forced to call home. Deprived of light and colour, Lily felt sad and depressed and she had an urgent desire to escape to the place where she had always found inspiration and solace – the river.
Snatching her bonnet and shawl from the row of wooden pegs behind the door, she hurried downstairs and out into the alley, praying that the reporters had gone far away and that she would not bump into Nell and Aggie on their way home from market. It was a relief to find that there was no one waiting for her and she was able to merge with the crowds unnoticed. She threaded her way between horse-drawn vehicles to the far side of the street and almost without thinking she found herself heading towards Bell Wharf Stairs. Whether by subconscious design or sheer instinct, she was making her way back to the scene of the shipwreck that had brought Armand into their lives. Nell never mentioned his name, but Molly often called out to him in her sleep. Lily had to tickle her feet in order to make Molly turn onto her side and lapse once more into deep and rhythmic breathing.
She found a quiet spot out of the bitter winter wind and she sat dangling her legs over the wooden parapet. She gazed up into the azure sky where wisps of white cloud floated like angels’ wings. The sun was a pale golden globe suspended in a sea of blue, and its rays bounced off the ripples on the water as the unstoppable Thames made its way to the sea. It might be Christmas Eve but the river traffic was as busy as ever with wherries, lighters and barges plying their business in between the larger seagoing craft. A schooner was tied up alongside Bell Wharf and the cranes were swaying and dipping like wading birds feeding off the mud in the river bed. Their chains rattled and clanked; the scrape of metal against metal merging with the shouts of stevedores, seamen, ships’ chandlers and agents. It was a symphony of noise accompanied by the deep bass of barrels rolling over cobblestones and waves slapping against wooden hulls. Seagulls mewed their mournful cries overhead and pigeons flapped their wings as they circled above her, keeping an eye out for food waste from the vessel’s galley.
Lily closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in the familiar smells of her childhood that some might find distasteful, but to her the odour of river mud, engine oil and smoke evoked memories of home. She opened her eyes, blinking against the bright sunlight as she heard someone calling her name. Had she drifted off to sleep in those brief moments? Momentarily dazzled, she could just make out the silhouette of a tall man standing a little way from her, hat in hand.
‘Lily, ma chérie.’
‘Armand?’ She clambered to her feet, hardly able to believe her eyes. ‘Is it really you?’
He came slowly towards her and it was only then that she saw that he was limping and leaning heavily on a cane. He dropped his top hat and stick on the ground and took her hands in his, holding her at arm’s length. ‘My little Lily. Never had I thought that you would be waiting here for me on the shore.’
‘But I wasn’t,’ Lily breathed. ‘I didn’t know you were coming. How could I?’
Armand drew her too him and kissed her first on one cheek and then the other. ‘I hope you don’t think me too bold, ma chérie, but I feel for you as my little sister – the sweet girl who rescued me from the fire.’
Torn between tears and laughter, Lily could have wished that he had addressed her as anything but his little sister, but her pleasure was undiminished. He was here and he was holding her hands, looking at her with such tenderness that her heart swelled with joy. ‘It is so good to see you, Armand. And you are able to walk again.’
He released her hands and bent down to retrieve his hat and stick. He smiled ruefully. ‘My leg, it is getting better, Lily, but yet I could not run a mile.’
‘But what are you doing here, Armand? Tomorrow is Christmas Day and you are far away from home. Have you come on business?’
‘I came partly on business but mainly to see you and your family again. I owe you all a debt of gratitude for looking after me, and also an apology for the way my father treated you.’
‘That wasn’t your fault, Armand.’
He frowned. ‘I don’t know what I could have done
in the circumstances, but I have felt very bad for the way my father behaved. I would like to visit your home and make my apologies in person to your grandfather and all your family.’
Lily bit her lip. She would not have minded for herself, but she knew that Nell would be mortified if Armand were to find them living in such altered circumstances. ‘That’s a bit difficult at the moment,’ she murmured. ‘We had to leave the dockmaster’s house.’
‘Mon Dieu! I did not think it would come to that. I had hoped that Matt would be able to come to some arrangement with the manager of the dock company. I am so sorry, Lily.’
She raised her eyes to meet his troubled gaze. ‘You really mustn’t blame yourself, Armand.’
‘But I do, Lily, and I know that my papa was unhelpful to say the least. I would like to come to your place of living now so that I may offer some assistance to your family. I do feel in some way responsible for your misfortune.’
Lily didn’t know how to respond. She was certain that Nell would want to see Armand but she was not so sure about Matt. Molly still thought she was in love with him, but Lily suspected that the main attraction was Armand’s wealth and position.
‘You hesitate, Lily. Is there some reason why I should not pay my respects to your so excellent family?’
‘I’m not sure how my brothers would react, but I know Nell would be very pleased to see you again, and Molly too.’
‘Your brothers and grandfather, they blame me for what happened. Is that not so?’
‘They’ve never said as much.’
‘So it is even more important that I speak to them and put matters to rights. They not only saved my life, but Matt’s report on the cause of the fire exonerated the ship’s company from blame and we were able to collect the insurance monies. I want to help your family, Lily. It is a debt of honour.’
In the face of such persistence, Lily could hardly refuse, but when they arrived in Cock Hill she realised that they were attracting curious stares from passers-by. Casting a sideways look at Armand she could see that they must appear to be an ill-matched couple. In this part of London it was unusual to see a gentleman dressed in the height of fashion and with no expense spared, especially when accompanied by a girl in a shabby linsey-woolsey skirt over a red flannel petticoat, with a much-darned woollen shawl wrapped around her shoulders and a bonnet on her head that had also seen better days. As they made their way along the narrow passage that led to their rooms Lily was even more conscious of their surroundings. She dreaded to think what Armand might be feeling as she led him up the stairs to the narrow landing. Aggie’s strident tones could be heard through the closed door of the living room. Nell’s responses were muffled, but loudest of all was Grandpa’s querulous voice demanding to know why his midday meal was not ready.