by Mary Campisi
“I’m sure you haven’t noticed, but your husband’s been giving us the evil eye since I came out here.”
Helena glanced toward the makeshift bar and spotted Luke, glass in hand, gaze homed in on her in a look that said annoyed. She turned away. “My husband is more interested in what’s inside his glass than who’s talking to his wife.” Sad but true.
“I’m not so sure about that,” Tate said in a low voice. “In fact, here comes the groom. If you need me, I’ll just be a shout away.”
She smiled up at him, grateful he was on her side. For all his charm and style, something told her he would be a formidable opponent. “Thanks, Tate.” Helena glanced out the back window again, waited for Luke to approach. Why had he shown up today? That’s what she really wanted to know but she doubted he’d share that information. Maybe the better question right now was why had she shown up? As if she didn’t know, and the answer did not make her happy. Darn it all, she wanted another chance with Luke, wanted to hear him say he loved her, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, wanted—
“Married women shouldn’t flirt with married men.”
Helena ignored the pang in her chest as she turned and took in the glassy stare, the pinched brows, the thin lips; they spoke of annoyance and she was the cause of it. “Why did you come today, Luke?”
He ignored her question. “Stay away from Alexander.”
“Tate?” She shook her head, disgusted with his comment. “He’s just trying to be a gentleman and make sure I’m okay.”
“If he comes near you again, that pretty face won’t look so pretty.”
“Don’t you dare touch him.” Helena planted her fists on her hips, glared at him. “This has nothing to do with Tate and you know it. Why did you come today? Can you at least tell me that? Only a fool would think you wanted to be here and nobody in this room is a fool.” She paused, sucked in a breath. “Including your mother. Why couldn’t you just have taken her aside, explained the truth, and saved us all from this charade?”
“Helena—”
“Let me finish. You could have told her what I did, and she might have stumbled, but it’s better than seeing her son suffer. No parent wants to witness that.” She pressed a hand against her right temple and massaged the beginnings of a headache. “We should never have gone through with this.” She blinked hard, determined he would not see her cry. “Can’t we both be honest for once and just admit this was a horrible mistake?”
“No.”
One word that could mean anything. “No what, Luke? No, you don’t want to listen? No, you don’t plan to tell your mother? No, you—”
“No,” he repeated, his voice hoarse, eyes so bright they looked silver. “No, it wasn’t a mistake to get married.” He moved closer, framed her face with his large hands. “No,” he said again, seconds before he dipped his head and kissed her, coaxed her lips open.
The kiss tasted of whiskey and desire, and she wanted more. It had been so long since he’d touched her...so long since he’d been this close...
Much too soon, he pulled away, stared down at her. “Let’s get out of here.”
Helena glanced at the living room, spotted Luke’s family—her family now—watching them and making no attempt to hide it. Luke had once told her his family could be annoying and way too nosy. That had not been an understatement. She turned to Luke, nodded. “Where will we go?”
“Mom booked us a room at the Peace & Harmony Inn.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, cleared his throat. “I didn’t know about it until fifteen minutes ago. If you’d rather not...”
Of course, she should refuse him. They had too many issues to deal with right now and jumping into bed would only complicate those issues. And she might be naïve, but Rose Donovan had talked about the honeymoon suite at the bed-and-breakfast enough times for Helena to know that’s the room the woman had reserved. People didn’t go to a honeymoon suite to sit and chat, and Luke’s kiss a few seconds ago said he wasn’t interested in talking either. Sex, that’s what that kiss had been about and that’s exactly what would happen if she followed him to the honeymoon suite. And then what? Tomorrow they’d be at odds again? Luke silent and distant, and Helena hopeful and waiting? Sleeping with him would only tear open the scab on her heart and create a fresh bleed. She couldn’t do that. Not yet. Not until they settled their issues.
“Hey, why don’t we forget it, okay?” His voice wobbled, fell flat like he didn’t have enough oxygen to get the words out. He looked away, shrugged. “It was probably a bad idea anyway.”
Yes, it probably was. Once he touched her again, she’d dream of a life with him, a family, a future. If he rejected her, what then? She didn’t know, but she would not live the rest of her life wondering if this moment could have been a shift in their relationship, a healing that led them back to each other. She had to take that chance. Helena touched his arm, smiled when he turned to her, and said in a soft voice, “We should say goodbye first, don’t you think?”
The Peace & Harmony Inn honeymoon suite was a romance lover’s dream: red rose petals strewn on the bed, mounds of heart-shaped pillows in pink and white eyelet, a vase of fresh-cut roses on the dresser, and candles. So many candles, waiting to be lit.
Luke had said little on the ride here. He’d handed her the keys to his truck, muttering something about just to be safe, tossed their bags in the extended cab and hopped in. She’d hoped there’d be some sort of conversation, but he spent most of the drive fiddling with the radio and settling on a country station. Well. This wasn’t exactly how she’d pictured the moments before they arrived at the honeymoon suite, but if it were anyone other than Luke Donovan, she’d say his behavior had to do with nervousness. Hah! She’d bet the man hadn’t been nervous since grade school, especially around a female.
But when he set their bags on the floor of the suite and closed the door, he began checking out the room, developing a sudden interest in the shades, the heating vents, the refinished dresser, even the ceiling fan. He did not go near the bed but wandered into the bathroom, flushed the toilet, turned on the water in the tub... Helena inched toward the bathroom, found him splashing water on his face as though he couldn’t get enough. When he caught her watching him, he grabbed a towel, wiped his face, and tried to act like every new husband checked out the honeymoon suite as though it were a home inspection.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” The pink flush on his cheeks had nothing to do with a rigorous towel drying.
Helena shrugged. “Nothing. Just curious about your interest in the plumbing—” she paused, pointed toward the bedroom “—and the rest of the suite.”
Those pale blue eyes narrowed. “Safety is a big issue for a pregnant woman, and this is an old bed-and-breakfast. I just want to make sure there aren’t any fire hazards…or other problems…” He rubbed his jaw, tossed the towel on the counter and said, “That sounded like a bunch of bull crap, didn’t it?” When she nodded, he worked up a smile and shrugged. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Okay, this was definitely nerves talking. “Luke? We have so many issues between us, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” Maybe? Sharing intimacy with him right now was the last thing she should do—and the one thing she really wanted.
He moved toward her, touched her cheek. “I can’t think straight when I’m around you. My head gets all jumbled up.” His fingers trailed to her neck, settled at the base of it. “I can’t think right now, and it has nothing to do with alcohol. It’s you, Helena, it’s always been you.” He leaned in, cupped her chin, and placed a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. “I want you...so bad I can hardly breathe.”
There were so many unspoken words between them, but in this moment, there was truth. Helena eased her arms around his neck, pressed her body against his. Oh, but he felt wonderful, and it had been so long. “Luke… Oh, Luke…”
He pulled back, took her hand, and guided her to the bed. “You’re so beautiful.” He knelt, placed his head aga
inst her belly, his strong arms circling her waist. He murmured something, then stood and undressed her, kissing her naked skin, teasing, tormenting, making her burn for him. “I want you,” he said in a ragged breath. “All of you.”
Helena unbuttoned his shirt, reached for his buckle. “Yes.” She opened his shirt, ran her hands along his chest, trailed kisses over his shoulder. “Oh, yes.” There was no talking after that as they made love with the desperation and longing of two souls reunited. Pure, true, a union that spoke of hope and forgiveness, and filled the gaps that words could not. Perhaps this could be a new beginning for them...more honest than before. It would require Luke to open his heart again, but they were worth it. Weren’t they? Yes, her heart whispered as she drifted off to sleep in his arms. Yes. But the next morning, Helena woke to an empty bed, the indent on the pillow beside her the only sign her husband had spent the night.
Three days passed since the night at the Peace & Harmony honeymoon suite. Helena waited for Luke to tell her he wanted to have the conversation they both knew needed to happen, but he didn’t. He was absent from dinner, too, sparking his mother’s concern that her son should stop working so much and spend more time with his bride. Tate and Charlotte showed up at the dinner table, a rarity these past weeks. Their attempts to keep the conversation going included Charlotte’s colorful recounting of what had happened at the shop that day, and Tate’s comments about why his wife should consider another line of work. She sniped at him, he laughed, and they always ended up leaning toward one another for a kiss.
That’s what marriage looked like. That’s what love felt like. They pretended not to notice the empty seat next to Helena, but that was like Winston pretending not to notice the sirloin on the kitchen counter. Life had taken a turn, and while Helena had hoped for a second chance with Luke, she’d begun to doubt whether it would happen.
The fourth morning after their wedding, Tate found her in the kitchen, toasting a bagel and fixing tea. He and Elizabeth were the ones who showed her the most sympathy, and maybe that was because they understood what it felt like to be on the outside of the Donovan circle trying to find a way in.
“I bought some cherries at the market yesterday,” Tate said, leaning against the kitchen counter. “You mentioned you liked them...”
Helena stirred her tea, smiled up at him. “Thank you. I’ll have some for lunch.” She carried her tea and bagel to the table, slid onto a chair. “Busy day?”
“Busy enough. I’m meeting with the contractor this afternoon to go over a few more details on the house. The excavators are scheduled to break ground tomorrow.”
“I’m really happy for you. Winston’s going to be happy about his new home, too.”
“And I’ll be happy as soon as he realizes he’s not sleeping in our bed.” He let out a sigh. “That’s not a picture I ever imagined. What happened to dogs sleeping in their own beds?”
What happened to husbands sleeping in their own beds? Helena shrugged, slid him a look. “You married a woman who believes that sharing her bed with the two loves of her life is exactly what you should do.” She bit into her bagel, thought about the Golden retriever who would bound down the steps any minute. Dogs had such simple lives. They loved, forgave easily and often, and did not harbor resentment. Too bad humans couldn’t learn from them.
Tate cut into her thoughts, pulled her back. “Charlotte and I want to help you. Elizabeth and Rogan do, too. Nobody’s exactly thrilled with Luke right now. I think even Rose is a bit annoyed with him.” He clasped his coffee mug between his hands, said in a gentle voice, “We all really thought you and Luke were back on track after the wedding, especially after your night at the Peace & Harmony Inn.” A dull flush crept up his neck to his cheeks, making it obvious he did not want to have this conversation. “But...who knows what’s going on in that guy’s head? He never was one for calm or cool, and we’re all sorry you’re going through this. If there’s anything we can do, we’re here for you.”
Chapter 19
Life held a lot of surprises, some welcome, some even expected. And then there were those surprises that flattened you because you’d never seen them coming. That was the sort of surprise Rose Donovan had just confessed ten seconds ago. She’d spoken the words, let them filter through the room and grab hold of Luke, and still, he didn’t understand them.
He stared at his mother, frowned. “Mom, are you saying you knew the truth the whole time?”
Rose tucked the afghan around her waist and accepted the cup of tea he held out to her. “Of course, I did, dear. A mother always knows her own child even if he doesn’t understand himself. You’ll see.” She sipped her tea, offered a faint smile. “There’s nothing like a child to change your life in ways you could not imagine.” The smile made her eyes sparkle. “No matter how old you are, you’ll always be my child.”
Luke sat on the edge of the ottoman, planted his elbows on his knees. They’d all worked so damn hard to keep his disaster of a “marriage” from her and make her believe he and Helena were living in wedded bliss. Yeah, hardly. All those nights sleeping alone in his brother’s old bed, ignoring Helena’s voice, her scent, her presence, their baby growing in her belly? The only way he could succeed half the time was to remind himself how he’d opened his heart to her and she’d lied to him. But that got old because some nights he had a hard time holding on to the anger. Some nights all he’d wanted was to hold her close, feel her breath on his neck, her soft skin next to his, her voice whispering into the darkness... And then he’d gone and done the unthinkable—he’d married her for real. “So, when did you find out?”
“When did I find out Helena wasn’t who she said she was, or when did I find out you two weren’t really married?”
The first question hurt, but the second one burned his soul. Luke dragged a hand through his hair, let out a long sigh. He was so damn tired of it all, wished he were back in Colorado working on houses, carousing, and living the life. Who was he kidding? What he really wanted was the woman he had thought was real, and the life they’d planned. Damn her.
“Lucas? Are you going to sit there with that frown on your face or are you going to answer me?” Rose set her cup on the table next to her chair, leaned forward and patted his hand. “Life is never easy or what we expect, but if we’re with the right person, we can get through anything. And because I know you’re wondering, I knew your aunt was having Helena investigated.” She let out a long sigh, said in a soft voice, “If I had it to do over again, I would have spoken to Helena first and gotten her side of the story. I’m usually not so rash, though I certainly was in my younger days.”
“I thought she was the right one, Mom, I really did.” He let this one piece of truth slip out. “But turns out I didn’t know her at all.”
She shook her dark head, patted his hand again. “Does the fact that she’s wealthy and could support you make her wrong for you?”
“No, the fact that she lied makes her wrong for me.” Putting sound to the words made his chest ache.
“I know it’s difficult to accept, but sometimes we lie for the right reasons. You probably know about Rogan and Elizabeth and the trials they had. She meant well, but goodness, when Rogan found out the truth, it tore them apart. Tate had a hand in it, but he also had a hand in getting them back together.”
“Do we really have to talk about Mr. Perfect right now? I’m still not happy about him and Charlotte.”
“Why? He loves her. Adores her, actually, and she feels the same about him. Do you ever watch them together? He never takes his eyes off her for longer than a few seconds and she’s the same way.” A faint smile pulled at her lips. “It’s heartwarming to watch after their rocky start. Those two were so worried about getting hurt that they built walls and got caught up in their own tales. It was not a good time, but now look at them.”
Yeah, he’d rather not. “Look, Mom, I know you mean well, but, this is different.”
“Is it?” She touched his arm. “Oh, Lucas, y
ou’ve been a fighter your whole life, even when it wasn’t your fight. You were so afraid to trust anyone but yourself, and heavens, no woman was ever going to own your heart. And I’m guessing when Helena came along and threw your whole world off balance, you didn’t quite know what to do about it. But you took a chance and trusted her, and you think she betrayed that trust.”
Because she did. His mother was not going to see it his way no matter how much he tried to explain. “Does it really matter now?” He’d married Helena—for real this time—because he hadn’t been able to tell his mother it was all a sham. Rose had been adamant about the damn ceremony and they’d all believed she needed it to help pull her through her dark period. Besides, a piece of paper and a ceremony didn’t make a marriage.
“It only matters if you want to know the truth. She loves you and her heart is breaking right now.” She cleared her throat, sniffed. “Don’t you think it’s a bit odd that she agreed to go through with this marriage? She knew this one would be real but from what I’ve heard, Helena was more concerned about you than herself.” His mother tilted her head to one side, studied him. “I’d say that’s not someone hiding from the truth; that’s someone admitting in front of our family that she loves you and wants to be with you.”
Luke’s gaze narrowed on her. His mother did have a way of reworking situations to make them turn into what she wanted. “She did it because she owed us, not because she wants to be with me.” If Helena hadn’t wanted to marry him back in Colorado when there’d been no pressure, why would she want to now, with his family eyeballing her every move? The answer was simple, even if his mother didn’t want to see it, which she didn’t.
“Hmm.”
When Rose Donovan made that sound, it meant she didn’t agree. Their father had warned them about it early on. When your mother makes that little noise, it’s her attempt to tell you that you don’t know what you’re talking about. Luke crossed his arms over his chest, sighed. “Okay, okay, what?”