by Kendall Ryan
By the time I make it home late that afternoon, Marley’s napping again, and Jessa is standing at the sink, wrapping up a couple of chores.
“She’s sleeping again?” I ask, stepping into the kitchen.
Turning, Jessa gives me a warm smile. “Yup. I think our outing today tired her out.”
“Really?”
Jessa nods. “But I think she liked seeing you during the middle of the day.”
“Yeah, I’m glad you guys stopped by.”
Neither of us says anything else for a long moment.
I normally enjoy a comfortable silence, but with today’s events, I have to clear the air. But before I can say anything, the very words I’m thinking about come tumbling from Jessa’s mouth.
“I just want to say that I’m really sorry about earlier,” she says carefully, her voice concerned.
I glance over to find her turned toward me, examining my expression. Jessa looks so legitimately worried that I can’t help the smile that breaks out across my face. “Sorry about what? You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Caleb led me to the back room, and when he opened the door—”
“Seriously, Jess. You have nothing to worry about. Caleb, on the other hand, got a minor beating from Hayes.”
“Are you serious? I must have missed that.” Jessa laughs, snorting a little.
She’s so fucking cute.
I lean against the counter, relaxing a bit. “Yeah, so don’t worry. It’s all good.”
See? That wasn’t so hard. But when Jessa speaks again, my heart drops.
“I guess I just . . .”
Fuck, I guess we’re not done with this conversation.
“It seems so unlikely. You’re so attractive. And young and single. And you’re a great dad.” She states all of these compliments as facts, completely unaware of how they affect me. But her words do affect me—a slight buzz hums through me at the idea that Jessa finds me attractive, that she thinks I’m a great catch.
In my experience with women, I’m used to playful banter and the never-ending back-and-forth. It comes with the territory of having a little sister and several female friends. I don’t know how to handle someone who gives out compliments like candy on Halloween.
“Thank you,” I murmur, grateful to see that Jessa’s focus is back on the bottles and nipples she’s arranging on a drying rack on my kitchen counter, and not on my awkward fucking face. Because I don’t know whether to smile or play it cool.
“I mean it,” she says solemnly. “You’re a total catch.”
Am I fucking blushing? Jesus Christ, Connor, pull yourself together. A cute girl gives you a compliment and you’re red in the face? Is this middle school?
“I don’t know about that.” I duck my head to rub the back of my neck, hoping she’ll let up on the deluge of affirmations.
Don’t get me wrong, I like them and all. It’s just making it hard to respond like a normal human. I was serious when I told Hayes it had been a minute.
“Oh, come on.” Jessa scoffs, turning toward me again, her expression serious. “If you ever wanted to go on a date,” she says, and my heart clenches, “and need me to watch Marley for the night, just let me know.”
My heart sinks. She’s not fucking interested, man. Get it through your thick skull.
“No, I’m good,” I grunt out, coming off more curt than I mean to.
I guess this shit is getting to me. It’s a bracing thought, but it’s true.
If I dated, I’d only want to go on a date with Jessa. I’d take her out to a nice dinner, maybe a late-night walk by the lake.
But I know there’s only two ways this could go. She’s into it, and suddenly I’m employing my girlfriend who will be leaving for six months. It would be sticky, and confusing, not ideal for a healthy relationship. Or she isn’t into it, and it’s so awkward that she quits and I’m stuck looking for a nanny again. Neither is a very good option.
“Okay,” she says softly, probably sensing she’s hit a nerve.
I desperately want to tell Jessa that I’m only bothered because, at this point, I’m into her. Not anyone else.
But I know in my gut that it’s better to just let things lie.
6
* * *
JESSA
With my arms full of bags of groceries, I begin the trudge from my car up to my second-floor apartment. It’s funny—it didn’t seem like that far of a journey when I decided I could carry a week’s worth of groceries all in one trip. But judging by the ache in my shoulders and the amount of plastic already cutting into my wrists, I think I might have misjudged this one.
Nice going, Jessa. Great choices all around.
Connor’s deep voice carries from his doorway just as I’m about to take my first steps up the stairwell. “Hey, neighbor, need a hand with those?”
A nervous knot forms inside my stomach at the sight of him, as gorgeous as ever in a pair of black athletic shorts riding low on his trim hips, and a light gray T-shirt that looks soft enough to bury my face into. Or maybe I just want to bury my face into his pecs.
“That would be great, thanks,” I manage to squeak out, trying to adjust my grip on an especially heavy bag of fruit and yogurt.
In a few long strides, Connor is by my side, our fingers brushing as I hand him a few bags. My stomach dips with every brief moment of contact. God, it’s really hard to focus on anything other than him when he’s around.
“How’s Marley?” I blurt as we climb the stairs to my apartment.
There’s something unsettling about knowing his face is ass-level. Is he the kind of man to do the gentlemanly thing and look away, even if he knows I can’t see him? Or is he totally sneaking a glance at my butt right now?
“She’s with her mom, probably sleeping or eating. Blissfully unaware of what the real world is like.” Connor’s voice is flat and monotone, a far cry from his usual warm and engaging baritone.
“You okay?” I ask, turning the key to my little side entrance. I’m grateful for my own access point to this apartment. The couple who own this place have done a great job making it feel like an independent property.
As we place the bags on the counter, he lets out a sigh. He looks around before answering, taking my space in.
It’s not until this moment that I realize Connor Blake is standing in my kitchen. I invited him in without thinking twice about it. I didn’t even pause to make sure there weren’t old takeout boxes piled on top of the trash can, which thankfully there aren’t.
He rests one hand on the counter and leans into it. “I’m supposed to go out of town tomorrow on business for an overnight, but I’m picking Marley up this evening and she doesn’t go back to her mom’s until next week. I know it sounds like a small thing to be so worked up about, but it’s just . . .” He trails off, staring at the counter.
“I get it,” I say, taking a step toward him. “I can stay over and watch Marley for you, if you want. So you can go and don’t have to worry about her.”
Connor shakes his head, his gaze still trained on the counter. “No, I’m planning on canceling. I don’t want to miss out on any of the time I have with Marley. She’s growing so fast.”
Is it possible for a heart to actually melt a little bit? Because I think that mine might be dripping into a puddle on the floor.
“I’ll go with you then.” The words come out before I can fully think them through. Apparently, this is becoming a consistent problem when I’m around Connor.
He looks up at me then, his green eyes making my heart beat double-time. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not. I’m offering. Take me with you. I’ll babysit Marley while you’re off doing whatever sex-related dealings you have to do,” I say with a smirk.
I expect Connor to laugh or at least crack a smile at my joke about his business, but he doesn’t. Instead, his brow furrows and his eyes grow more serious. He’s thinking. Deeply. About what, I have no idea.
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It’s a win-win for him. He can do his business and also see his daughter. What is there to think about?
After a beat of silence, during which I’m ready to hide from the embarrassment of inviting myself on his trip, his expression changes and his emerald eyes lock with mine again.
“Okay.” Connor nods, a small smile spreading on his lips.
“Okay, as in yes, you’ll take me with you?”
“Okay, as in I’d be grateful to have you come with us and watch Marley while I work. I’ll put you up in a hotel room, of course. Everything will be covered, and you’ll get a fantastic bonus too.”
A thrill runs along my spine at the thought of a night away. “So, where are we going?”
“Indianapolis,” he says, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Shit, I’ve got to run, but I’ll text you the details, okay?” He pauses and meets my eyes again. “Thank you, seriously, for saving me with this. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I nod and shrug at the same time, so overwhelmed that I probably look more like I’m having a tiny muscle spasm. But I don’t care. Because I’m going on a trip with my hot neighbor and his adorable little girl, and no amount of awkwardness on my part can stop it.
As promised, Connor texts me the details shortly after he heads back to his place. I spend the rest of my day organizing my little kitchenette and planning out my outfits for our one-night stay.
It’s a lot of pressure trying to figure out what to wear that strikes the perfect balance between “I find you incredibly sexy” and “I’m still fit to take care of your two-month-old child.” But I’d like to think I’ve picked out some options that find that sweet spot.
The next morning, I meet Connor and baby Marley out by his car at eight a.m. sharp, just as he requested. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but one look at Connor nearly gives me heart palpitations.
I’m used to casual Connor, or even business-casual Connor, but this? In a crisp pair of navy-blue slacks and a white button-down with the sleeves rolled up halfway? This is business-meeting Connor, and I really freaking like what I see.
Who knew I was so into forearms? And when he bends over to secure Marley into her car seat? Yeah, let’s just say those slacks hug him in all the right places.
The drive from Chicago to Indianapolis isn’t too bad. We alternate between listening to Connor’s music and chatting about his job, both of which are opportunities for me to stop obsessing about every little thing that’s happening.
By the time we arrive at the hotel, Connor still has a solid hour before his meetings begin. He heads into the lobby to check us in while I tend to a fussy Marley, who’s more than ready to be freed from her car seat. I unbuckle the straps and pull her out into my arms, bouncing and rocking her while holding her to my chest. She’s warm and a little sweaty, like most babies after a nap, but the sweet smell of her skin brings a smile to my face.
All things considered, she’s a little angel baby. I have no problem hanging out with her in my room today. In fact, it might be difficult to give her back to Connor tonight.
I turn to the sound of footsteps approaching behind me. It’s Connor, with some papers from the hotel in his hand and a grimace on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. There’s no reason to beat around the bush anymore. It’s obvious when something’s up with him.
He squints uncomfortably, looking down at the asphalt. “It’s the reservation.”
“Was there a problem? Do we need to find somewhere else to stay?”
“Uh . . . well, no. There was a mix-up.”
“A mix-up?”
“They gave us one room.”
“Oh.”
“With a king-size bed.”
“Oh.”
“The one thing they can accommodate is a baby. They’ll be bringing a crib up for Marley shortly.”
My mind starts reeling faster than I can catch up with it. One room. King-size bed. Connor and me, sleeping in it together. Tonight. Right now. It’s happening.
Holy shit.
“Jessa, I’m sorry, this is so inappropriate.” He groans, scrubbing a hand roughly over his face.
I snap out of my horny dreamland and plaster a polite, sympathetic smile on my face. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. A king-size bed is practically a small island. I’m sure we can make it through one night unscathed, right?”
My words come out cool and casual, but I’m not sure if either of us believes them.
Connor’s expression is an unreadable mask. If I didn’t know better, I would think he’s mad about something.
After a slow inhale, he turns and takes our bags out of the trunk and then leads the way up to the room. Our room. The room where we’ll be sharing a bed tonight. My body buzzes with anticipation, and I squeeze my fingernails into my palm to try to fight it.
He’s right. These thoughts—these little moments of excitement—are beyond inappropriate. Connor is my boss, even if I’m just the nanny to his baby daughter. If I’m going to make it through this stay with both my dignity and my summer job intact, I’m going to have to find a way to quell these fantasies. And fast.
The room is pretty standard for any business-class hotel. Neutral-patterned carpeting, beige-paneled walls, a dark chestnut desk in the corner with a small minifridge wedged underneath it.
What stands out more than anything is the bed.
For the first time in my life, a king doesn’t look quite as massive as I remember. The plush white comforter and a pile of decorative pillows almost look like a challenge: Not as innocent as we seem, huh? As promised, a crib has been brought up and placed at the foot of the bed, leaving just enough room for Connor to squeeze by and set his stuff by the desk.
I stand awkwardly on the other side of the room where he left me, a sleepy Marley curled up against my chest. He avoids my eyes as he bustles around the room, making a few last-minute preparations before leaving for his meeting.
“She should be ready for a nap shortly after I leave,” he says absentmindedly, scrolling through his phone and abruptly stuffing it in his pocket. “I should be back late this afternoon. I figure we can order in, and then watch a movie or something?”
He still can’t meet my eyes when he says it, but I can’t help noticing how much that suggestion sounds like a date. Or it would if I weren’t here for the express purpose of babysitting his daughter.
“Sounds good to me. I’m easy.”
Connor seems to catch the double entendre before I do, pausing in midstride on his brisk walk out the door. My cheeks burn with embarrassment.
Can this situation get any more uncomfortable?
But he lets it go, turning to give me a curt nod before closing the door behind him. No matter how embarrassed I might have felt just moments ago, I’m already looking forward to his return.
My day of watching Marley goes by quickly. She goes down for her nap like a champ, and is sweet and happy when she wakes back up. We watch a little TV, I let her babble and feed her when she’s hungry, and before I know it, Connor’s texting me asking what I want for dinner.
We order delivery from a Mexican restaurant nearby, and turn on some made-for-TV movie that has us both crying with laughter because of how ridiculous the plot twists are. Sure, it’s not exactly how I imagined I’d be spending my evening, but I have to say it isn’t half bad.
Connor is easy to be around. Even though I’m very attracted to him, he’s kept his distance, and I know he’ll respect my boundaries.
Later, he puts Marley down for the night while I change and get ready for bed in the bathroom. My heart pounds while I brush my teeth, scrubbing my tongue a little harder than usual. If I’m about to share a bed with Connor Blake, there’s no way I’m going to bed with salsa breath.
I walk out of the bathroom to find him sitting on the edge of the bed in a worn T-shirt and boxers, and my heart just about jumps out of my throat. Suddenly, my silk sleep shorts and oversized shirt m
ake me feel self-conscious in front of him, and not nearly as sexy or confident as I’d hoped. Not that I ever thought he and I would be sharing a room, let alone climbing into the same bed together.
“Are you done in there?” he asks, barely meeting my eyes.
“Mm-hmm,” I squeak back, skirting around him and fishing my phone charger out of my bag. The sooner I can find something to do with my hands, the sooner I can stop thinking about how badly I need to not be looking at his crotch.
But holy shit, those black boxer briefs really hugged him in places I would like to explore. I realize he probably didn’t pack any pajamas because he assumed he’d have his own room.
Taking a deep breath, I force my mind out of the gutter. I can hear the sink running as Connor brushes his teeth, and I climb under the covers on my side of the bed, careful not to disturb his side too much. It’s not like there’s clear etiquette on how to go about handling sharing a bed with the father of the child you’re nannying, who also happens to be a sexy Greek god of a human being. But I think giving him his space and being respectful of it is a good place to start.
I’m scrolling through my phone, pretending I’m reading something very important, when Connor comes back out of the bathroom and joins me in bed. The mattress shifts to accommodate his weight, and a fresh batch of goose bumps crop up on my skin at the thought of how close we are right now.
So many things can happen under the covers. So many things that no one would ever have to know about. So many things I’ve dreamed about in my sleep.
“Thanks again for coming with us.” His voice is low and sincere, and it cuts straight through me.
“You’re welcome,” I manage to say, even though my throat is suddenly dry.
“Good night, Jessa. Sleep well.”
Hearing my name on his lips sends a shiver down my spine, and that same ball of need winds itself tighter in my gut.
“You too.”