by Kendall Ryan
“I’m gonna come,” I warn her between labored breaths, my heart hammering in my throat. I loosen my grip on her hair as if to say now’s your chance.
But Jessa doesn’t back down. Instead, she pulls me deep into her mouth, swallowing every last drop as pleasure rockets through me.
Holy hell. Now it’s my turn to catch my breath.
Jessa climbs up my body and flops to the side of me, both of us taking a moment to recover. Soon, our staggered breaths become low chuckles, and before long, we’re both cracking up.
“Why did we wait so long to do that?” Jessa says on a sharp exhale, a wide grin stretching between her flushed cheeks.
“Professionalism, I guess,” I say, enjoying the way the bed shakes with our laughter.
Is it too soon to ask her to spend the night?
I don’t have time to debate the pros and cons, though, because Jessa is already on her feet and slipping back into her dress. Catching her reflection in the mirror, she groans, pulling her fingers through her tangled hair. She’s about to leave, so I have to milk these final moments before it’s too late.
I slide off the bed and pull on my briefs, then pad across the bedroom floor to tug up the long zipper along the side of Jessa’s dress. When I finish connecting the tiny clasp at the top, I look into the mirror to see her watching me with a curious expression.
“Why, thank you. You gonna walk me home now too?”
“Of course I am.”
I smirk, and Jessa rolls her eyes, her lips quirking into an irresistible little smile. She bends over, grabbing my shirt off the floor and tossing it toward me.
“Then you’re going to need a shirt.” She winks. “We don’t want the neighbors to talk.”
Once we’re both decent again, I open the very door I had Jessa pressed up against not even an hour ago and lead us outdoors into the night air.
The soft breeze is cool against my skin, which still thrums with the excitement of our post-class extra-curricular activities. Jessa threads her fingers through mine as we cross my lawn and walk up my neighbors’ driveway before climbing the stairs that lead to her door.
“Thanks for walking me home.” She smiles sweetly, rubbing her thumbs against my knuckles. Just when I think she can’t be any cuter, Jessa proves me wrong once again.
“Thank you,” I murmur, leaning in, “for a wonderful night.”
Under the moonlight and surrounded by the chirping of a thousand cicadas, I kiss her. My hands instinctively rise to cup her cheeks before my fingers thread through her silky hair. She sighs against my lips, pressing against me with a hum of contentment.
When we part, there’s nothing more that I want than to ask her to come back home with me and spend the night. But I know better. I don’t want to rush her. Maybe the feels that hit me like a ton of bricks are one-sided.
“Good night.”
Pressing one final kiss to her forehead, I release her, stepping down the stairs and across the lawn with broad strides. One final glance over my shoulder proves to be worth it. Jessa waves from the landing at the top of the stairs, a soft, secretive grin playing on her lips.
Until next time.
12
* * *
CONNOR
It’s a beautiful day, so Hayes recommends we take our usual Monday morning Frisky Business meeting outside.
The sun shines brightly overhead, the wind whipping between skyscrapers as we walk toward Grant Park, morning coffees in hand. Car horns and bicycle bells may be irritating to some this early in the morning, but I’m grateful for the background noise. Anything to drown out the incessant questions from Caleb about my weekend.
“Come on, you’ve got to give me something,” Caleb says, jogging to my left side so he can meet my pace in stride. “Did you take my advice? Did you go to a class? Please say it was the blow-job one.” He grins wickedly.
The bastard.
“Fine,” I say, relenting with an eye roll. “I took her to dinner at the bistro and told her about the classes. It was her idea to go, so we did. Let’s leave it at that, shall we?”
“Which class?” Hayes turns and walks backward so he can face me, a new sense of interest piqued in him.
“Something spice-related,” I mutter, sipping my coffee too soon and burning my tongue. Fuck.
“‘Spice Up Your Sex Life!’” Caleb says loudly, pumping a fist into the air. “Fuck yeah. How’d it go? Did she get all hot and bothered?”
“Caleb,” Wolfie warns from behind us. “Don’t be crude.”
“That’s the goal of the class, isn’t it?” Caleb exclaims, seemingly unaware of his own bullshit. “I just want to know. For curriculum-planning purposes.”
“The goal of the class is education, you freak,” Hayes says with a laugh. “Come on, let’s sit. There’s a table over there.”
He gestures across the grassy expanse toward an unoccupied park table situated under a shady tree. Seems good enough to get to work.
As we all take our seats, Wolfie carefully unpacks our breakfast, a wide array of fresh-baked goods from the local bakery. Soon, I’ve got an everything bagel positively slathered in chive cream cheese hovering inches from my mouth. But before I can take a bite, I’m confronted with yet another question about Jessa and me.
“How do you think the date went?” Hayes asks, his eyes probing me.
I sigh. Of all the men at this table, he’s the one I’d want to talk to the most about this weekend’s events. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to get into the particulars of my sex life before eight in the morning.
“Really well.” I take a bite of my bagel, my teeth making a satisfying crunch into the toasted bread. I’m hungrier than I realized.
“What does that mean? ‘Well’ could mean anything,” Caleb says, unabashedly speaking through a mouthful of orange scone. “‘Well’ could mean you shook hands and fucked off. ‘Well’ could mean you went all the way down to bone town. What does that mean?”
“I mean it was a good time.”
“Oh shit. You totally fucked.” Caleb’s eyes double in size, a goofy smile splitting his face as he jumps to his own conclusions. “The nanny broke the drought.”
I don’t respond, instead taking a sip of coffee that’s still not quite cool enough to drink. But I need caffeine if this is how the day’s gearing up to be.
Hayes raises his eyebrows at me. “Did you?”
I sigh. Might as well throw them a bone. “Something like that.”
Caleb outright howls in triumph and thrusts a fist at me, demanding a knuckle bump. A smile twitches at the corners of my mouth, so I humor him. Gotta admit, the guy’s energy is pretty damn contagious.
“Shit, that’s great, man,” Hayes says, nodding with a sincere look of congratulations in his eyes.
“You don’t need to sound so impressed,” I grumble. These assholes are acting like I’m some virgin who finally got laid for the very first time.
“I’m just happy for you,” he says with a chuckle.
Jackass.
“Okay, gimme the play-by-play. What happened?” Caleb asks, wiping his nose with one finger before planting his elbows on the table and giving me his undivided attention.
All three pairs of eyes are glued on me now, but I don’t have a goddamn thing to say.
“It’s private,” I say, uncomfortable with this amount of attention.
My friends have never been this interested in one of my hookups before. Has it really been that long? Does it matter that much? Or is it because, for the first time, they actually like the girl I’m with?
Caleb leans in, a wicked glimmer in his eyes. “Look, maybe these fucks over here are getting all the ass they could ever want, but me? I’m fucking dying of loneliness. Let me live vicariously through you. I need details.”
“No way, man.” I laugh, shaking my head. “You won’t get anything out of me.”
What happened between Jessa and me once that door closed is our business, and no one else’s. Not on
ly is it slimy to kiss and tell, but I don’t even know how I’d describe our night together.
Mind blowing? Life changing?
I haven’t even processed the sheer physical satisfaction of it all, let alone any residual emotions I’m sorting through. All I know is that I like what I have going with her, and I don’t want to ruin it by cheapening our memories.
Caleb sighs, hanging his head in defeat. When he looks up again, his brow is furrowed and his eyes narrowed into slits. “Can you at least tell me if it was good?”
“Leave it alone. He doesn’t want to talk about it,” Wolfie growls out, and I shoot him a grateful glance.
Caleb throws his hands up in surrender. “Fuck, sorry,” he says with a sigh, shaking his head. “A year ago, he would’ve answered the question with a freaking PowerPoint presentation. I just wanna know why this time is different.”
That’s the big question, isn’t it? Why is it different this time? Why is Jessa different?
Is it because it’s been so long, and she’s like an oasis in the desert? Or is it something about her, about the way she makes me feel, that has me feeling some kind of way? Protective, almost.
The unspoken question hangs unanswered in the air as we all focus our attention on the food. I take a long swig of my coffee before opening my mouth again.
“Jessa is different,” I finally say. “I don’t know why, or what that means. There’s just something about her that makes me want to be better. She’s not some conquest. She’s a person I can see myself spending more time with in the future.”
I didn’t plan on a monologue, but there it is.
The guys stare at me, dumbfounded, and I get it. I’m not usually a romantic. Such sentiments are not in my wheelhouse; all the love affirmations and cutesy bullshit is Hayes’s territory. And yet the words don’t feel forced or awkward. They feel real. Like I’m telling the truth after weeks of lying to myself.
“Isn’t she leaving in, like, a month?”
My head swings around to Hayes, whose question hits harder than I’m sure he intended. All that cream cheese sitting in my belly seems to curdle into stone, sitting in my gut like a boulder.
“Yeah,” I mutter, directing my attention back to the coffee in my hands. There’s a prolonged silence from the table.
“That sucks, man,” Caleb says, his voice uncharacteristically solemn.
Damn right, it does.
I clear my throat. “So, that’s that, I guess. When Jessa leaves, I’ll be back to square one in more ways than one. Maybe Penelope knows someone in the nanny business.”
Wolfie nods. “She’s been saying she’s gonna give you a call soon.”
“Good.”
“I can ask Mare too,” Hayes says, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Although she told me that Jessa is pretty much irreplaceable.”
I couldn’t agree more.
13
* * *
JESSA
It’s probably inappropriate to have the thoughts I’ve been having while holding Connor’s baby, but I can’t help it.
I can’t stop thinking about our date. And I really can’t stop thinking about how we spent our time together after the class. Something tells me I’ll be thinking about that for a long time.
Marley yawns, her little pink lips forming a perfect circle before settling back into a soft smile. She’s nestled against my chest, just a few minutes away from falling asleep.
We’ve been rocking in the chair next to her crib for the past few minutes, and while Marley’s been dozing, there’s only been one thing on my mind—Connor’s mouth against mine. You’d think the sweet baby smell of Marley’s tiny little head would snap me out of it, but nothing’s been able to shake the haze of bliss I’ve been floating around in.
When Marley relaxes in my arms and her little eyes close for good, I stand and place her gently in her crib. Her eyes stay closed, and before she can change her mind about napping, I quietly back out of the room, grateful for a few minutes to myself.
There’s something a little sinful about walking around Connor’s house without him here. Especially after what we did here the other night. His hands on my body, his length in my mouth.
My belly clenches as I remember it, and a thrill runs down my spine.
He was even more delicious than I’d imagined, in every sense of the word. And standing in his kitchen, a few yards from his bedroom—well, let’s just say I’ve got plenty of ideas about what I’d do if he ever invites me for a round two.
I pull out my phone to find a text from my sister. We’ve been trying to get ahold of each other for the past few days, and she’s asking if I’m free to talk. Settling into the corner of Connor’s couch, I dial my sister’s number, anxious to hear her voice and tell her all about these new developments.
“Hey, Jess. How’s city life treating you?” Taylor’s voice is chipper and bright, even through the phone.
She’s only a year younger than me, and we’ve been close since we were kids. Working together to raise your four younger siblings will bond you in ways you didn’t think possible, even if she’s kind of the yin to my yang. It’s only been a little over a week since we last talked, but it feels like we haven’t caught up in forever.
“So good, Tay. You have no idea,” I say with a low chuckle.
Taylor makes an interested noise, somewhere between a cluck and a chuckle. “You like living above an older couple that much, huh?” she teases.
“Well, I do love how close I am to work.”
“Oh yeah, how are things going with the hunky dad? He’s not going all pervy on you, is he?”
I know Taylor’s just trying to be a good sister, but I can’t keep my stomach from sinking a little. This isn’t exactly how I wanted this conversation to go.
“Pervy’s not how I’d describe it.”
“What does that mean?” Taylor’s tone is flat, analytical. She’s always been the brainy one, needing facts and data.
“He’s really sweet, Tay. Like, shockingly sweet. And he’s so good with Marley. We’ve been hanging out, kind of. I mean, I’m friends with his friends now, and they’re all super cool. I’m actually starting to feel like I’ve found my people here.”
“Isn’t this the guy who owns a sex shop?”
“Co-owns. And they sell adult toys. That doesn’t make them monsters. What’s wrong with a little pleasure now and then?” I say it as lightly and jokingly as possible, but Taylor only half laughs.
“Right.”
“I think you’d really like him, actually,” I say. “He’s smart like you. And he’s got this great sense of humor. He’s such an easy guy to be around. I think you two would really get along.”
“Why would I meet your boss?”
Her tone isn’t accusing or mean, but I can’t help feeling like I’m a little in trouble. She may be younger than me, but I swear sometimes Taylor acts like such a big sister.
“We, uh, may or may not have gone on the best first date I’ve had in my whole life,” I say quickly. “And I know what you’re going to say, but believe me, it’s not what it sounds like. Connor’s such a gentleman, and I didn’t even realize he was asking me out at first. I think we have a genuine connection. I mean, our chemistry is freaking unbelievable.”
I giggle through the last few words, and Taylor clears her throat.
I gulp. Yep, I’m definitely in trouble.
“Jess, don’t you think it’s a little unwise to start dating someone new? You’re about to leave the country for six months.”
She’s not saying anything I don’t already know, but that doesn’t change the fact that her words sting like a slap to the face.
I take in a sharp breath and try to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. “Yeah, I mean, I know it’s complicated, but Connor knows about the trip, and he’s cool with it.”
“Is that really fair to either of you, though? Are you going to ask him to wait for you? Are you going to wait for him? Who’s to say that you
r soul mate isn’t waiting for you in Central America? Do you really want to be too hung up on a single dad to even see it?”
Okay, that doesn’t sting. That fucking hurts.
“That’s really harsh, Tay.”
“I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. I just want you to be realistic, so that you don’t get your feelings hurt six and a half months from now.”
It feels like my stomach is filled with a giant pile of boulders. I take a deep breath and push away any sadness or anger that’s trying to enter my mind.
“Thanks for your concern, but I’ve got it handled,” I say, my voice stiff and a little cold.
Taylor sighs. “Jess, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just want you to be careful, that’s all.”
“Got the message loud and clear. Hey, I’ve got to go, Marley’s waking up from her nap. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay. I love you, Jess. I just want what’s best for you.”
“Mm-hmm. Okay. ’Bye.”
I hang up and throw my head back on the sofa. I had a feeling Taylor might be suspicious of Connor, but her fully shutting down any possibility that this will end well? That wasn’t what I was expecting.
I check the baby monitor app on my phone to find Marley babbling and waving her arms around. It’s time to push my worries about Connor aside and do the job he’s paying me for. I’ll have to figure out how to feel about all this later.
The rest of the afternoon breezes by. I read a couple of books to Marley before she gets bored and reaches for her toys. I’m just laying her down for tummy time in the living room when I hear the front door unlock, and my stomach lurches.
I guess in all my worrying about Connor, I sort of forgot that I’d actually have to see him at some point today.
Our eyes meet the moment he walks through the door, and it’s like everything Taylor said about how I might get hurt just disappears. He flashes me a smile, and it sets off a firework show in my chest. Taylor might be trying to protect me, but she doesn’t know him. More importantly, she doesn’t know us. And “us” is something I’m dying to learn more about.