It was the first time Amy had actually admitted the truth to herself, let alone anyone else. The statement brought tears to her eyes and she sat up.
‘God, what a bitch I am. Sitting here in bed with another man, telling him I no longer love my husband.’
‘It happens, to millions of couples the world over.’ Sebastian stroked her back gently. ‘And I’ve heard from Posy what a fantastically supportive wife you’ve been to him.’
‘And what a fantastically dramatic fall from grace I’ve just taken,’ she muttered miserably.
‘The big question is, of course . . .’ Sebastian paused, obviously thinking about how to word his sentence. ‘Will you suffer in silence and stay with Sam for the sake of the children, or will you accept the relationship is over and be brave enough to move on?’
‘I don’t know. I really don’t know.’
‘No, of course you don’t, and it’s unfair of me to ask. We must both accept that I have an obviously biased view of the situation, so perhaps it’s better if I don’t comment. All I will say is that I know I love you and want to be with you. It would be better if you were free, from my point of view – to put it mildly – but I promise I will try to be patient and not rush you into a decision.’
She turned to face him. ‘Sebastian, how can you be so sure about me after such a short time?’
‘I don’t know. I just am. But then it’s much easier for me. I am completely unencumbered. So I just have to wait and hope that one day you will be too.’
She kissed him goodbye twenty minutes later, with a promise to call him the following day, and set off to collect the children. As she drove towards Southwold, her heart bursting with conflicting emotions, she realised she’d completely forgotten to try on the vintage dresses.
The following Saturday, Sam said he’d look after the kids for the afternoon whilst Amy went out house shopping with Posy.
‘It’ll do you good to have a break for a change,’ he announced. ‘And don’t worry what time you get back. We’ll be fine here.’
‘Thanks, Sam. The shepherd’s pie should be ready in half an hour. Make sure both of them eat all of it before you offer them any pudding.’
‘I will. Bye, sweetheart. Have a good time,’ he said as he heard his mother hooting the horn outside. He made to kiss her on the lips, but she turned away and he only managed her cheek.
As she walked down the path to Posy’s waiting car, Amy almost wished Sam wasn’t trying so hard to make up for his misdemeanours. It only increased her guilt.
‘Hello, dear, how are you?’ said Posy.
‘I’m very well,’ said Amy as she settled herself into the passenger seat.
‘Good. This is a treat, just you and I, isn’t it? I thought we’d drive to Walberswick for lunch at that nice pub. The first house we’re looking at is in Blythburgh at two o’clock, which should time just nicely.’
‘I’m in your hands, Posy,’ nodded Amy as they set off, skirting round the main street and along the sea front.
‘That’s where Evie Newman lives.’ Posy pointed to a large Victorian house as they turned a corner into a wide, tree-lined road, a stone’s throw from the pier. ‘Far too big just for her and her daughter, but very impressive,’ she commented. ‘By the way, did you manage to try on those evening dresses last Wednesday? They didn’t look as though they’d been touched.’
‘Er, yes. They were all too big, I’m afraid.’ It was the first lie Amy had told and she hated herself for it.
‘Really? I’m surprised. My mother was a slip of a thing. We obviously need to feed you up, Amy.’
Over fresh mussels in the pub, Amy managed to keep the conversation confined to Posy, who, with a little encouragement, began to talk about her trip to Amsterdam with Freddie.
‘It made me realise that one can become very parochial living in a small town. When I was married to Sam’s father, we moved across the world from one army base to the next and I never thought twice about it.’ Posy took a sip of her wine. ‘Perhaps, once Admiral House is sold, I might take myself off on a Scandinavian cruise. I’ve always wanted to see the Norwegian fjords.’
‘And will Freddie go with you?’
‘Who knows? As I’ve told you, we are just good friends. Really,’ she emphasised. ‘Although it’s far more fun doing that kind of thing with someone else. Now, we’d better get a move on or we’ll be late for our first appointment.’ Posy put her coat on and gazed out of the window at the drizzle. ‘A grey and miserable November day – perfect for seeing houses at their absolute worst.’
The first two houses were non-starters, due to Posy’s obsession with having a south-facing garden.
‘I know I asked Marie for something with “character”,’ said Posy, fastening her seat-belt, ‘but to be quite honest, I just wonder whether a low-ceilinged cottage wouldn’t send me bonkers, after all the space I’ve been used to. Just one last place to see, and it’s a three-storey town house near the lighthouse. I have to admit I quite fancy living right in the centre of town, after so many years of making the journey in and out of it.’
The town house turned out to be the hit of the day: newly refurbished, with plenty of light, a modern kitchen, and a small but definitely south-facing garden. Amy followed Posy around jealously, thinking how she’d kill for a house like this.
‘It couldn’t be more different to Admiral House, could it?’ Amy commented as they stood in the rain whilst Posy calculated exactly where the sun would fall during the day.
‘I have to admit I’m rather taken with it. I know it should appeal more to a thirty-something swinger than an old granny like myself, but I like it a lot. It’s light and airy because of the windows and the high ceilings, and there are enough bedrooms for friends and family to come and stay.’
‘It’s very expensive, Posy. I mean, nearly half of what you’d get from Admiral House.’ Amy studied the details as Roger, the viewings agent, locked the door behind them.
‘Ridiculous, isn’t it?’ Posy agreed. ‘However, you can’t take it with you, and as what gets left behind will be split between Sam and Nick, I’d say a house like that would make a jolly good long-term investment,’ she commented as they drove though Southwold. ‘I must speak to Sam and ask him how things are going on Admiral House, and then I might be very tempted to put in an offer.’
As they passed Evie’s house, both women stared at the unmistakably familiar red car parked against the kerb outside it.
‘That’s Nick’s car, isn’t it, Posy?’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘Did you know he was down in Southwold this weekend?’
‘No.’ Posy cleared her throat. ‘Mind you, dear, he is a grown-up and doesn’t tell his mother every move he makes.’
They drove on in silence, neither of them wishing to pursue the conversation further.
Chapter 22
On the morning of the launch party of ‘Reborn’, Tammy woke up sweating with nerves. Even though everything was absolutely as organised as it could be, she had a hundred things to do before this evening. She jumped out of bed, showered, made herself a quick coffee, then drove round to the shop. Meena was already there, hoovering the carpet.
‘Though why I am bothering, with a hundred pairs of feet about to tread all over it, I do not know,’ she sniffed.
Tammy glanced at her watch. She had an interview at ten with a daily newspaper; the flowers for the window were arriving at noon, and the caterers at three.
‘Where they’re going to store the canapés, I just haven’t a clue,’ she fretted. ‘We’ll need the office table to pour the champagne into glasses.’ Tammy slumped into a chair. ‘God, I don’t think I have ever been so bloody nervous in my life. Even more than going down my first runway at the Paris collections.’
‘Oh Tammy, remember these people who are coming tonight are your friends. They all want you to succeed. Try to enjoy it. Days like today don’t come along often, you know. When is Nick arriving?’
‘Not u
ntil later on. He’s up to his eyes too. We’ve hardly seen each other in the past three weeks. Hopefully, once tonight is over, we can spend more time together.’
‘Yes. He is a nice man, your Nick. I like him,’ Meena declared. ‘Right, I will go to rinse out the hundred champagne glasses they sent round yesterday. I am not happy with their cleanliness.’
The flowers arrived and Tammy spent an hour fiddling with the window display and thinking about Nick. She missed him when she didn’t wake up next to him. With that thought, she dialled his mobile number as she clambered out of the front window. He answered immediately.
‘Hello, darling, it’s me.’
‘How are you feeling?’ he asked her.
‘Sick with nerves, to be honest.’
‘Of course you are. I’m waiting here at the shop for a delivery, but once it’s unloaded, I’ll come across and offer you some moral support.’
‘Thanks, darling, I appreciate it. I miss you,’ she said shyly.
‘I miss you too. I’ll see you later.’
As Tammy stuck the mobile in her back jean pocket, she realised how much she’d wanted to replace ‘I miss you’ with three far more powerful words.
‘Shit, Tammy,’ she muttered to herself as she went to help Meena set out the glasses. ‘You’re in deep.’
Amy was thankful Posy was working at the gallery that morning, which meant she could drop the children’s overnight bags there rather than run the risk of seeing Sebastian at Admiral House.
‘Hello, Amy,’ Posy smiled. ‘All set?’
‘Just about, apart from the fact that Jake seems to have got that nasty cough and cold Sara had a few weeks ago. He doesn’t have a temperature and he’s gone to school, but I gave his teacher your number here at the gallery, just in case. I hope you don’t mind.’
‘Of course I don’t.’
‘I’ve put some Calpol in his bag.’ Amy handed it over to Posy. ‘If he does seem hot, a couple of teaspoons should calm him down. Maybe he shouldn’t have a bath tonight, either.’
‘Amy, please try not to worry. I promise I’ll look after them. I did bring up two of my own, you know,’ Posy responded patiently. ‘Now, what time are you meeting Sam?’
‘He’s at the architect’s in Ipswich, so I’m driving to Ipswich station and meeting him there. Right, I’d better be going. And you know we’ll be at Tammy’s tonight if you need us,’ she confirmed.
‘Yes, Amy, I know you will. Now, you go and have a splendid time. Goodbye.’
Amy sat on the platform at Ipswich, nervously checking her watch. The train to London was due in two minutes and there was still no sign of Sam. She’d called his mobile over and over, but it was switched off.
She saw the train approaching the station and tried Sam again. This time he answered. ‘Hello?’
‘It’s me. Where are you? The train’s here!’
‘Sweetheart, I’m afraid I’ve been held up at the architect’s and I’m not going to make it. I’m sorry, Amy, I really am. You go and have a good time.’
‘Okay, bye then.’
Her anger at being stood up was tempered by guilty relief that she wouldn’t have to spend the evening with him. But could she really go without him? Yes, dammit, I can. Before she could question her decision, Amy leapt onto the waiting train as the doors began to close.
She arrived at Tammy’s boutique just before six, knocked on the door and was greeted by a glamorous Indian lady with an amazing set of white teeth.
‘You are Amy, yes?’
‘I am. Is Tammy here?’
‘No, she has nipped home to have a bath and get changed. I am Meena, her right- and left-hand woman. She said I was to expect you and your husband.’
‘No, it’s only me, as it happens. My husband couldn’t make it.’
‘Ah well,’ Meena shrugged. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea?’
‘Oh I’d love one,’ breathed Amy, following Meena into the shop, admiring the cream damask which Tammy had fashioned on the high ceiling to create a tented effect. ‘This sounds very silly, but where are the clothes?’ she asked.
‘We have locked the stock downstairs in the basement to give more room. The gowns will be worn by Tammy’s model friends, and as many pretty female guests as she could persuade to do so. Tammy has left a dress out for you, if you wish to wear it.’
‘That’s very kind of her, but I’m not exactly a model type,’ said Amy.
‘Toosh!’ said Meena. ‘You are very beautiful. You remind me of Princess Grace of Monaco in her youth. Why don’t you go into the changing room and try on the dress that is hung there for you?’
‘Why not?’ Amy agreed, thinking of her old little black dress from Topshop lying crumpled in her overnight bag. She went into the curtained changing room and looked at the shimmering midnight-blue satin sheath, the front decorated with hundreds of tiny sparkling beads.
‘Wow!’ she said as she looked at the label inside and saw it was a Givenchy.
‘Amy!’ Meena clasped her hands together in delight when she emerged. ‘You look perfect.’
‘Amazingly, it fits me like a glove,’ acknowledged Amy, giving a twirl.
‘And shows off your beautiful figure. You should wear your hair up in a chignon, like this.’ Meena piled Amy’s hair onto the top of her head. ‘You have a wonderful long neck. Shall I style it for you?’
‘If you have time, yes please.’
‘I have time, and there is nothing I like better than dressing someone up for a party. In my culture, we take hours to get ready. Now, sit down in front of the mirror and I’ll fetch my hairpins.’
Twenty minutes later, after Meena had not only expertly fastened Amy’s hair into a chignon, but applied her make-up too, Amy stood up.
‘Breathtaking,’ Meena exclaimed.
‘Just one little problem,’ said Amy. ‘I haven’t got any suitable shoes.’
‘Ahhah!’ cackled Meena. ‘What are fairy godmothers for?’ She took Amy’s hand. ‘Follow me, Cinders, to my daughter’s shop next door, and you shall go to the ball!’
Chapter 23
‘How do I look?’ Tammy asked Nick as she walked down the stairs into the sitting room.
‘Absolutely stunning, darling,’ Nick said, admiring the opulent green off-the-shoulder dress that matched Tammy’s eyes perfectly. ‘I’m sure you’ll make all the gossip columns looking like that.’ He took her by the shoulders and kissed her. ‘I’m very, very proud of you. Here.’ He offered her a small velvet box.
‘What’s this?’ she asked.
‘A present, to mark the occasion.’
‘Thank you, darling.’ Tammy opened the box and found a delicate antique peridot necklace inside. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she breathed, ‘and it goes with my dress perfectly. You are clever.’
‘It’s about a hundred and fifty years old,’ Nick smiled as she turned round so he could do up the clasp. ‘There.’
She turned back into his arms and kissed him. ‘I love it. And I love you,’ she added quietly.
‘Do you?’ He tipped her face up to his and looked into her eyes. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really.’
He stroked her neck and let his hand trail down to her cleavage. ‘How about we forget all about your party and just stay in for the night?’
‘I wish, but I think we’d better be getting a move on. Right.’ Tammy took a deep breath. ‘Let’s go.’
By eight o’clock, the party was in full swing. Paparazzi were stationed outside, marking the arrival and departure of the guests, and a camera crew was interviewing Tammy on the pavement.
Amy was having a wonderful time. Everybody was very friendly and kept telling her how lovely she looked. She’d made a new friend called Martin, a freelance photographer, who was plying her with champagne and compliments in equal measure.
‘You know, you could have a career in photographic modelling any time you wished.’
His hand was caressing her shoulder as she suddenly became aware of
a pair of eyes staring at her from the entrance. Her heart skipped a beat.
‘Excuse me, Martin. I think I need a breath of fresh air.’ She extracted herself from his grasp and headed towards the door where he stood.
‘Do I know you?’ he asked sardonically.
‘What on earth are you doing here?’ she asked.
‘I was in London for lunch with my editor. I wasn’t going to come to the party even though Tammy had kindly invited me, because it isn’t really my scene. But my flat is literally round the corner, so I thought I’d wander past on my way for some milk and bread. Then I saw this vision in the window being pawed by some sweaty male. Who’s the gorilla?’ Sebastian asked, indicating Martin.
‘Some fashion photographer,’ Amy shrugged.
‘And where’s the husband?’
‘At home. He didn’t make it.’
‘So you mean to tell me,’ Sebastian whispered into her ear, ‘that you are in town alone for an entire night?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, with you looking . . .’ Sebastian shook his head as he tried to find the right words, ‘utterly astonishing, and by yourself in the big city, I feel it is my duty to protect you from hairy-arsed predators like that prat over there.’ He kissed her gently on the neck. ‘I want you, now.’
‘Excuse me, chaps.’ Tammy squeezed past them and Amy blushed to the roots of her hair. ‘How are you, Sebastian? Lovely to see you.’
‘Very well,’ answered Sebastian smoothly. ‘May I offer my congratulations on an obviously triumphant evening?’
‘You may,’ nodded Tammy happily. ‘It is going rather well, actually. Everyone seems to have turned up, and I should get some column inches in the press. Listen, if I don’t see you later, a few of us are going out for supper afterwards to La Famiglia, just off the King’s Road. I’d love you to come, both of you.’
‘Tammy!’ a voice called from somewhere within.
‘Coming!’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘Sorry, bye, both.’
‘Oh Christ,’ whispered Amy as she watched Tammy make her way through the crowds, ‘she must have seen.’
‘Amy, my dear, this is not Southwold and Tammy is not your friend Marie. She is a cosmopolitan, intelligent woman who could not give a shit if we’re having a fling or not,’ countered Sebastian.
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