Posy’s head was spinning. Sam wasn’t making sense. She took a sip of her coffee, trying to interpret what he was saying.
‘Freddie accused you of attacking Amy?’
‘Yup,’ Sam nodded. ‘Ridiculous, isn’t it?’
‘Then why haven’t you gone after them?’
‘I don’t know where he lives, do I?’ Tears appeared again in his bloodshot eyes. ‘I love Amy, Mum, you know I do. I’d never do anything to hurt her, or the kids.’
‘I think you’d better pull yourself together, Sam. Drink that coffee then go upstairs and take a cold shower. You smell like a brewery and so does this room. While you do that, I’ll go and try to find your wife and your children.’
‘She’ll just tell you a pack of lies, don’t you understand? Yes, I’d had a few, and things got a bit heated but . . .’
‘Enough, Sam.’ Posy stood up. ‘I’ll see you later.’
‘Mum! Don’t go! Come back!’
Posy slammed the door behind her, thinking how Sam’s pleading reminded her of when she’d left him at boarding school for the first time. It had broken her heart then and she’d sobbed all the way home. But Sam was thirty-eight now – a husband and a father.
As she climbed into her car, she gave a shudder. His continual selfishness and self-pity – not to mention his fetid, hungover state this morning – had not brought out her usual maternal sympathy. She was horrified to realise that her own son disgusted her.
She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, knowing she was faced with a dilemma. The only person who Sam had indicated knew where Amy and the children were, and what had happened here last night, was the one person she could never see again.
Should she walk away? Leave Amy and Sam to sort this out between them? Their marriage was none of her business, after all.
But your grandchildren are . . .
Something very bad must have happened to necessitate Amy and the kids leaving the house with Freddie. And whatever it was, Posy knew she needed to find out, or she would have no peace. She started the engine and drove slowly towards the town centre. Surely, surely, Freddie was wrong and Sam had not attacked Amy? Sam might be many things, but she’d never witnessed him violent. She wondered if he was on the verge of a breakdown, would do something stupid now he was alone . . .
‘No,’ she said out loud. Whatever Sam was, he was a survivor, and probably too much of a coward to harm himself. She parked on the High Street, then walked briskly along it and into the lane that led to Freddie’s house. Before she could turn away, she rang the bell. A few seconds later, Freddie opened the door.
‘Hello, Posy.’ He gave her a weak smile. ‘I presume you’re here to see Amy and the children?’
‘I am, yes, but before I do, I’d like to hear from you just what you saw last night.’ Posy could hear her own brusque tone. ‘If you don’t mind,’ she added guiltily. None of this was Freddie’s fault, after all.
‘Of course, but I’m warning you, it won’t make pleasant listening,’ he said as he led her into the sitting room.
‘Are they here?’
‘No, they’re next door in the Hophouse, my little rental place.’
‘And are they . . . well?’
‘The children are fine. They were in here decorating my tree earlier, to let Amy get some sleep. They’re lovely kids, both of them,’ Freddie smiled.
‘And Amy?’
‘She’ll be okay. I took her straight to A&E to see about the scalds on her thighs. Luckily, she had jeans on so it wasn’t quite as bad as it could have been. They’ve dressed the wounds and given her some painkillers.’
‘He threw a pan of boiling water at her?’
‘Apparently, yes. I didn’t arrive until after that had happened.’
Posy saw the pan still lying on the floor of the kitchen in her mind’s eye and swallowed hard.
‘So, what did you see?’
‘Posy, I . . . do you want a drink of something?’
‘No thank you. What did you see, Freddie? Just tell me.’
‘I arrived on the doorstep and heard shouting coming from inside. I opened the door to find Sam in the hallway with his hands round Amy’s throat.’
‘Oh my God.’ Posy dropped into a chair.
‘Posy, I’m so very sorry. I . . . I shouldn’t have put it so bluntly. Let me go and get you a brandy.’
‘No! I’ll be fine, really, Freddie. I’m just . . . shocked, naturally. Was he trying to –’ Posy swallowed – ‘kill her?’
Freddie paused for a moment. ‘I couldn’t say. He was simply very, very drunk.’
‘Good God, Freddie, good God.’ Posy put a hand to her brow. ‘Does she have bruises on her neck?’
‘I’m afraid she does, yes. The doctor at the hospital wanted to call the police, but Amy refused point-blank. She reiterated to me this morning that she doesn’t want to press charges.’
Posy could not find words, so she sat silently, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. Freddie moved hesitantly towards her.
‘I’m so dreadfully sorry. This is all you need, on top of what I had to tell you. Please, darling Posy, tell me what I can do to help.’
She looked up at him and gave a small shake of her head. ‘Freddie, don’t apologise. None of this, my . . . messy life, is your fault. Now, can you take me to Amy?’
‘Of course.’
Posy followed him out of his cottage and across the courtyard to the Hophouse. She knocked on the door and Jake answered it.
‘Hello, Uncle Freddie.’ He gave a big grin. ‘Can we come and watch the Christmas channel on your satellite TV again?’
‘Course you can. Is Mummy sleeping? Granny’s here to see her.’
‘Hi, Granny, Mummy’s awake. I made her a drink of water. She got burnt by a saucepan last night and Daddy was a bit drunk and wasn’t allowed to drive, so Uncle Freddie and us took her to hospital.’
Sara had appeared in the doorway behind her brother, her mouth smeared with chocolate. ‘Hello, Granny, Uncle Freddie took us to the toyshop and bought me a new dolly,’ she said, then reached her arms out for a hug.
Doing her best not to cry, Posy pulled both her grandchildren to her and held them tightly, thanking God for their innocence. And for Freddie’s kindness.
‘Come along then, you two. Let’s go and watch some television. I think The Muppet Christmas Carol starts in ten minutes. It’s my favourite,’ Freddie added as he reached out a hand to each child. After Sara had collected her new doll, Posy watched as Freddie led them both back across the courtyard to his own house. Then she stepped inside. Amy was sitting on the sofa, with a tiny blanket barely bigger than a flannel across her thighs.
‘It’s Sara’s new doll’s blanket. She thought I should keep warm,’ Amy commented as she removed it, revealing three big white surgical dressings, and put it back inside a small wicker cradle that lay on the floor at her feet. Then her eyes moved up nervously to meet Posy’s.
‘Oh my dear, I’m so terribly, terribly sorry.’ Posy walked towards her and sat down on the sofa next to her. She reached for Amy’s hand. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Okay. The doctor says I probably won’t scar, which is good, and I have some nice strong painkillers.’ Amy stifled a yawn. ‘The trouble is, they’re making me very sleepy. I’m so sorry, Posy.’
‘Darling girl, what on earth have you got to be sorry for? Freddie told me what he saw last night.’ Now she was close, Posy could see the dark smudge of bruising round Amy’s neck. She shuddered involuntarily.
‘I . . .’ Amy shook her head and her teeth bit hard on her bottom lip. ‘You mustn’t blame Sam. He’s had such a difficult time and he’d just had too much to drink and—’
‘No, Amy, please do not excuse his behaviour. It is completely unacceptable. He may be my son, but goodness me, attacking his wife like that, I . . .’ Posy shook her head. ‘He’s a disgrace, and let me tell you, if you want to press charges, I’ll come to the police station with you. Please Am
y, you must tell me the truth; is this the first time or has it happened before?’
‘I . . . never as badly as last night,’ Amy sighed.
‘So it has.’
After a long pause, Amy nodded, the movement obviously hurting her, because she winced and her hand moved to her neck.
‘Well, I want to apologise to you for not seeing what was under my very nose.’
‘It didn’t happen very often, Posy, really, only when he was drunk, but recently . . .’
‘It should never have happened at all, Amy. Do you understand? There are no excuses for beating up a woman. None.’
‘But I . . .’ Amy’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I haven’t been a very good wife, Posy. I . . . met someone.’
‘Sebastian?’
Amy looked up at her mother-in-law in shock. ‘Yes. How did you know?’
‘It was written all over the both of you, I’m afraid. Did Sam know?’
‘No, or at least I don’t think he did. He was so caught up with his new business, but . . . you see? It’s not all his fault.’
‘Yes it is, Amy, and you must believe that,’ Posy said vehemently. ‘From what you’ve said, this started long before you met Sebastian, didn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you mustn’t blame yourself for seeking comfort elsewhere. It’s absolutely understandable given the circumstances. You’re only human, Amy, and after what you’ve endured, well . . .’
‘So you don’t hate me?’
‘Of course I don’t.’
‘But . . . I loved, love him, Posy. Sebastian was so kind to me, so gentle, I, oh dear . . .’
Amy sobbed then and Posy put her arms carefully around her daughter-in-law and held her to her, stroking the blonde hair gently. When she had quietened, Posy dug in the pocket of her jeans and handed Amy her handkerchief. Amy blew her nose and lifted herself into a more comfortable position.
‘I’m so sorry, Posy.’
‘Please stop apologising, my dear. Life is a harsh and messy business. We’ll sort this out, I promise.’
‘It’s my mess to sort out, Posy. You have enough on your plate.’
‘My “plate”, as you put it, is my family, and that means you and my darling grandchildren.’ While Amy had cried, Posy had been thinking. ‘Sam needs help urgently, and perhaps he always did . . .’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Just that a mother’s love can sometimes blind her to reality. Anyway, would you all like to come back with me to stay at Admiral House?’
‘If it’s okay with you, Freddie said we can stay here for a while. I’d feel safer, as Sam doesn’t know where we are. I couldn’t face seeing him just now, I’m afraid. Freddie is such a lovely man, Posy. He’s been so kind to us, and the children love him already. You’re very lucky.’
‘Yes, he’s a very good person.’
‘He obviously cares about you so much. That was why he’d come to see me last night, to check how you were. He was worried about you and so was I. Are you all right, Posy?’
‘I’m fine, Amy, and only concerned with making sure that you are too. I must say, this place of Freddie’s is awfully cosy.’
‘I adore it.’ Amy smiled properly for the first time. ‘It’s . . . sanctuary,’ she added.
‘And that is just what you need. Now, I have to ask you one last time; are you absolutely sure you don’t want to press charges against Sam?’
‘Absolutely. I just want to forget about it, not drag it out into some long process that ends up with Sam and me in court.’
‘Well, it’s your decision, Amy, but something has to be done about him. Currently, he’s a danger to other women who might cross his path. You do know you can never go back to him, don’t you?’
‘Maybe if he stopped drinking, Posy, I could think about it. He is the children’s father, after all.’
‘Exactly, and for the sake of your children, you must stay away from him. If he’s been violent with you, how long before he turns on Sara and Jake?’
Amy stared into the distance, as if debating something. She turned back to Posy. ‘It’s terrible, but the truth is, even if he did get sober, I don’t love him any more. I feel so guilty about it.’
‘You must understand, Amy,’ Posy said slowly, ‘that after that first flare of passion, love has to be earned if a relationship is to survive the test of time. Even without knowing what I know now, I could see that Sam wasn’t doing that.’
‘God Posy, how can you be so honest about your own son? Most mothers couldn’t be.’
‘Because I’ve learnt the hard way that you can choose your friends, and your partner, but not your family. I’ll always love Sam, of course I will, and yes, I will try to help him as much as I can – if he’ll accept my help – but that doesn’t mean I like him at the moment. Truth be told, I’m thoroughly ashamed of him and have been for years. And I accept that part of who he is is down to me. There,’ Posy breathed, ‘now that’s my confession for the day.’
They both watched the fire flickering for a while, before Posy turned to Amy and smiled. ‘I blame the “Perfect Family” scenario: we all feel that we are failing because our lives never seem to live up to the films, or more importantly, the front that so many of us present to the world. One can never know what goes on behind closed doors and I guarantee you, behind them, most families are as complicated as ours. Now, I think we could both do with a nice cup of tea.’
She stood up and walked towards the small but beautifully fitted kitchen.
‘Posy?’
‘Yes?’
‘Thank you. For everything. I think you’re the most amazing person I know and I love you very much.’
‘Thank you, darling girl,’ Posy replied, tears pricking at the backs of her eyes as she switched on the kettle. ‘I love you too.’
Fifteen minutes later, Posy left the Hophouse. As she walked across the courtyard, Freddie opened his front door and walked towards her.
‘How is she?’
‘Calm,’ Posy replied. ‘We talked about where she goes from here.’
‘And?’
‘She eventually admitted that she doesn’t want to go back to Sam, even if he does manage to sort himself out, but she’s frightened of telling him.’
‘She mustn’t go near him, Posy. I’m sorry to say it, but you didn’t see what I saw last night.’
‘Of course not. She said you’d offered her the Hophouse for a while. I said she was welcome to come back with me to Admiral House, but she’d prefer to stay here for now. She says she feels safe.’
‘Good. That’s the most important thing. She and the children are welcome to stay as long as they wish.’
‘Thank you, Freddie, you’ve been so kind. And now,’ Posy sighed, ‘I must go and see Sam and collect some clothes and toys for Amy and the children.’
‘I’ll come with you, Posy, you can’t go by yourself.’
‘I understand your concern, but really, I know my own son. He’s in the “woe is me” stage today and not at all dangerous.’
‘Please let me at least drive you.’
‘I think you’ve done enough for my family already.’
‘And you, Posy? How are you?’
‘Getting on with what I have to do. Now I really must go.’ She turned to walk away, but Freddie caught her arm.
‘We need to talk.’
‘I know, but not now Freddie, please. I can’t cope. Later.’ Posy gave him a whisper of a smile and headed off along the lane.
There had been no answer when she’d knocked on the door of Amy and Sam’s house, so Posy had let herself in with the spare key she kept. Calling her son’s name, then checking the downstairs and moving up to the bedrooms, she saw he was obviously not at home. Taking a couple of holdalls, she stuffed in as many of Amy’s and the children’s clothes as she could find. Then, after filling a box with toys, she took them out and placed them in the boot of her car. Just as she was closing it, she saw Sam walking towards her a
long the pavement.
‘Hey Mum, how’s Amy and the kids? Where are they?’
Posy was pleased to see he wasn’t drunk, at least. ‘Shall we talk inside?’
She led the way and they went into the sitting room. Posy sat down, Sam did not.
‘So? Where are they?’ he asked again.
‘I’m not telling you.’
‘Not telling me where my wife and kids are?!’
‘You attacked Amy last night, Sam. You’re very lucky she has decided not to press charges. The A&E doctors said she should.’
‘A&E?’ Sam looked amazed. ‘Honestly Mum, it was just an argument that got a little out of control.’
‘Amy has a number of serious burns on her legs and bruising to her neck where you attacked her. There was also an eyewitness who is very happy to stand up in court and say what he saw. There is little doubt you would be charged with assault and most probably end up in prison. So,’ Posy pointed to the chair opposite her, ‘I suggest you sit down and listen to what I have to say.’
Sam did so, his face deathly pale.
‘Amy and the children are moving out. I have their clothes and toys in my boot.’
‘Are they staying with you?’
‘No, they are in a safe place and I warn you, Sam, if you even try to approach Amy or the children at work or school, Amy will go to the police, so I suggest for now that you stay away.’
‘But what about the kids? I have every right to see them.’
‘I’m sure, in time, something will be worked out, but firstly, I want to talk about you.’
‘And tell me how disappointed you are in me for the umpteenth time?’
‘I’ve never said those words and you know it, Sam. I’ve supported you to the hilt, even to the point of giving you first refusal on Admiral House, so please don’t give me that self-indulgent rubbish. This – what happened last night – was in another league, and yes, I freely admit that I’m shocked and ashamed by your behaviour. However, I’m still your mother and I love you. I’m here to tell you that you need help. It’s obvious you have an alcohol problem, which makes you violent enough to assault your own wife.’
The Butterfly Room Page 43