by Dale Mayer
He had a full afternoon ahead. It was the mental stuff that was rough, but he was determined to do as good a job as he could. He pushed himself away from the table and slowly positioned his crutches under his arms, noting his legs were not quite so shaky, and headed toward his room. Once there, he realized he was still feeling the fatigue. Normally it wouldn’t come back this fast. But then again, he’d wiped himself out. The workout this morning had been brutal. He probably shouldn’t have been on the crutches but in his wheelchair. And he also hadn’t had a chance to get to his massage after his physiotherapy session because Shane had been called away.
In this weak moment, he was forced to face the psychologist. That would have scared any man who didn’t want to talk about his feelings as much as the shrinks wanted them to. He knew he would do just fine with his life. So what if he was missing his little toe from his left foot and the bulk of his hamstrings on his right leg? His back was a bit more of an issue, but he’d come a long way just to get to this point. His medical team had worked magic. And being here had mentally worked magic too.
There was a knock at the door, and he looked up to see Shane.
The physio walked into his room. “I heard you crashed.”
Denton nodded. “Nothing to worry about. I’m prone to swinging blood sugar levels. I did too much this morning and didn’t have a snack.” Shane opened his mouth, but Denton held up a hand. “I know you told me to make sure I grabbed something. But I think I got lost on my phone for a bit and didn’t have time.”
Shane fisted his hands on his hips and glared at him in mock anger. “Well, that’ll be the last time I’ll let you get away with that.”
Denton rolled his eyes and grinned. He knew Shane cared. And that was one of the things that made this place so special. “Don’t worry. It’s the last time I’ll do it too.” He shuffled back on the bed where he could lay against the headboard. “Also I’m paying for it because I didn’t get a massage.”
“How is your schedule this afternoon? Do you want to do that now?”
“I have a visit with Dr. Hutchinson about now.” He leaned across the bed, pulled his tablet toward him and studied his schedule. “Yes, that’s next. I also have a checkup with the doctor this afternoon as well, but after that, I would be free.” He lifted his head to look at Shane. “Unless that doesn’t work for you?”
Shane scrolled through his own tablet. “I’ll be back before four. You could have a good massage and then dinner.”
“Unless I fall asleep and sleep through dinner.” He chuckled. “I have to admit, I’m pretty tired.” He watched as Shane made several notes. “I don’t think I overdid it badly today. I think it was the combination of the blood sugar and the workout,” he rushed to say. “The workout wasn’t too hard. It was just the combination.”
Shane nodded. “Still, we’ll adjust your schedule to make sure you get your snack and see how that works going forward.”
With that, he took his leave. As he walked out, the psychologist walked in. They spoke in the doorway for a couple minutes. Denton wondered if they were discussing him, but it wasn’t for him to worry about.
He had enough in his life to worry about without adding to it.
He didn’t want his friends to know about his worries either. He didn’t want them to be hurt by his fear he couldn’t stand up without them, but he knew that if they heard the discussion, they’d probably feel exactly that. He pasted on a smile as the doctor walked in.
She pulled up a chair. “I’m pretty sure we met like this the other day too.”
He gave her a half laugh. “This time it was due to my own stupidity.”
She nodded. “Then tell me about it.”
Chapter 9
The first social trip, minus Denton, went off without a hitch, making it a twice-monthly event to the delight of everyone. For the next several days, Hannah focused on being a little friendlier to a few more people around her. She felt uncomfortable picking one person, so she decided she should be friendlier with everyone. She could work with that. She overheard a couple people saying she was in a much better mood these days, and they were wondering what was going on. Of course, she’d already heard her name linked with Denton’s, and that bothered her. When she stopped to check in with him on the fourth day, she brought up her concerns.
“I don’t know if my attempts are working or not.”
“It’s not something you can ask about or quantify,” Denton replied. “It’s something we have to judge for ourselves.”
She shrugged. “But I’m trying to be much friendlier.”
He stopped and looked at her. He put down the towel he’d been folding among the clothes he’d been putting away when she came in. “You can’t just be friendlier. Because they don’t realize you’re purposefully being friendlier to them but think you’re simply happier in general.” He returned to folding his clothes, thankfully not seeing the color rise on her cheeks. “This can always be something situational. You have to pick out one person, maybe one person per day, and do something very friendly for them.”
“Well, that hardly seems fair. Isn’t it better if I’m friendlier with everyone, rather than picking and choosing individual people?”
“But then you don’t possibly hurt people, and you don’t chance getting hurt if they don’t pick you back.”
She stared at him. “Oh, my God. That’s what I’m doing, right?”
He walked over carefully, on his own steam, and he gave her hand a squeeze, then stepped back. “Maybe. But that doesn’t make it wrong. It’s a learning process. You have to open yourself up to them, the same as you’re hoping they will to you.”
She nodded slowly. “Well, so far I think I’ve failed then.” She shook her head. “I thought this would be easy. So, enough about me. What about you? How did you do for the last few days?”
“I’ve been so damn busy,” he said, now sitting on the side of the bed. “Between one meeting and appointment and another, it’s been easier to not think about my friends.”
“And how are you feeling about that?” she asked. “How do you rely less on your friends but not have them feel like you’re cutting them out of your life?”
He stared at her and raised an eyebrow. “Now that’s a damn good question. Just because I’m being independent doesn’t mean I make them feel like I don’t want them around.” They exchanged sad smiles.
“It’s not quite as easy as you thought, is it?” she asked.
He shook his head as his phone buzzed. He pulled it out and studied the screen. “It’s Brock. He says he hasn’t seen me in a few days.”
She nodded. “That would be your cue. Have coffee with them. See how you feel. See how your response is to see him. He’s contacted you independently, and you’re feeling more independent and self-sufficient. Then go meet him on equal terms. If you’re approaching this from a perspective of feeling needy, then wait a little longer until you feel more grounded and prefer standing on your own feet.”
He stared at her for a moment. “It didn’t take you long to pick that up.”
She chuckled. “I suggest we check back in a couple more days.”
“Sure … but does that mean we don’t get to see each other for a couple mornings?”
She spun around, knowing that the tingle in her cheeks meant she had turned bright pink. She hoped her voice didn’t sound too girlish. “Absolutely not. We could do coffee sometime even?”
He shook his head. “I’d like that. Inside or outside, that would be lovely.”
Hannah smiled from ear to ear. “Good, let’s try for that soon.” Not believing she’d flirted with him, she hurried out. She pressed her hands to her cheeks as she rushed down the hallway, feeling the heat in her palms. She prayed she wouldn’t run into anybody who would do nothing but raise eyebrows and ask questions she had no intention of answering. She dashed into her office and plunked herself down at her desk.
Somehow that relationship had moved from the casual level up to t
he level of a special friend. She couldn’t be happier. Then she remembered how she’d kept herself separate over the years to avoid being hurt. She’d missed out on opportunities like these. She definitely needed to branch out in finding friends. Who interested her? Who did she want to be friendlier with? She really liked Dani. She liked Sandra. And well, if she was getting together with Denton, there were always his friends, Brock and Cole. That thought felt a bit tenuous. How could she make friends with Denton’s friends on the off chance she and Denton had made a connection? She pushed that thought from her mind and focused on her work.
Several hours later Hannah glanced at the clock and realized the lunch hour was almost over. She wasn’t terribly hungry, but she could use a coffee break. And some fresh air would absolutely help. She picked up her coffee cup and wandered into the dining hall. There she filled up her mug and turned to see Dennis.
“You didn’t eat lunch today?” he asked.
She smiled up at him as she was reminded what a nice man he was. “With all the people around here, how could you possibly notice I didn’t come in and eat?” she teased.
His grin was wide and happy. “I always keep track of my favorite people,” he announced. “And you don’t eat enough.”
“That’s not fair,” she protested. “I eat very well.”
He motioned toward the buffet table. “I was about to pack it away. Can I get you something?”
She stopped and looked at what was offered. “The Greek salad looks so lovely.”
“Well, it was lovelier when I first put it out there. Right now it’s looking a little sad. I can freshen it with a little more cheese though.” He walked away and returned with a bowl of Greek salad topped with more feta cheese. He put it on a tray and pulled out a plate. “Let’s see what we have to go with it.”
She knew she wouldn’t get away without adding something to it. “I’ll have a little chicken.”
Instead, Dennis placed a good-size chicken breast on her plate and added a bit of seasoned brown rice.
“That’s about the right amount for you, I think.” He motioned to an empty section of the buffet. “I just put away the fruit platter. Give me a second.” He scurried into the kitchen and came back with the large platter. “It’s been picked over, but there are still lots of berries, if you’d like.”
Hannah took a small serving bowl and pulled out blueberries, raspberries, strawberries and some blackberries. Then, with a big smile of thanks for Dennis, she grabbed a knife and fork and headed to a table out in the sunshine. She hadn’t sat down for more than a few minutes when Sandra walked to her table.
“May I sit with you?”
Surprised and pleased, Hannah nodded. “Of course.”
Sandra sat in the opposite chair. “You know? We’ve worked together for the last year, but it seems like because we work together, we never get the time to socialize.”
“Isn’t that the truth?” Hannah took a big bite of her Greek salad and smiled while she chewed. After the swallowed, she pointed at her plate. “Dennis fixed this for me. I do so love the food here.”
Sandra nodded. “And Dennis always makes those of us here as happy as we can be.”
“True enough.” It took Hannah a few minutes to realize Sandra sat almost uncomfortably, as if waiting for something. Hannah glanced around. “Is something wrong?”
Sandra slumped a little bit in her chair. “I wanted to ask you something, as you seem to be the closest with Denton.” She hesitated. “Has he said anything about why he might be upset with Cole?”
Hannah’s eyebrows shot up, and she vigorously shook her head. “Oh, my goodness, no. I don’t think there’s anything wrong.” And then she realized what he was trying to do and the rebound effect. She slowly lowered her fork to her tray. “There was something, but it wasn’t Cole himself. It was more …” And she stopped. She didn’t know if she should say anything. This was Denton’s issue. Lamely she added, “It’s not my place to discuss it, but I know he was being a little more independent and not quite so dependent on his friends.”
Sandra studied her face. “You think that’s all there is to it?”
Hannah nodded gently. “Absolutely.”
Relief washed over Sandra’s face. “That would be good to know. It felt a little bit like he’d been cut off. This isn’t a place to be cut off from your friends.”
“That’s so very true. And I certainly don’t think Denton wants Cole to feel in any way that he wasn’t still his best friend or at least one of his two best friends.” She’d have to mention to Denton how his silence and his goal for more independence had affected the others. And if Cole was feeling the change, Brock likely was too.
“Thanks for that, Hannah. I’ll let you enjoy the rest of your food.”
Hannah watched as Sandra got up and walked away. She’d been friendly. She wasn’t sure that counted in her quest for friendship as she hadn’t initiated the contact, but it was still nice.
She finished off her lunch, her thoughts swirling around closely entwined old friendships and how the different dynamics worked. After she returned her dirty dishes, she detoured to Denton’s room. She knocked, but there was no answer. Feeling torn between happiness and concern, she headed to her office.
When a knock came at the door, it opened before Denton could greet his visitor, and he raised his head and frowned. Then his gaze lit up as Brock walked in.
He waited at the doorway for a moment, then nodded. “That’s why I didn’t wait for an answer,” Brock said. “You’ve never been able to hide your feelings on your face, so I wanted to see if you have an issue with us or are genuinely glad to see us. No one knows what the hell is going on.”
Denton winced. “Brock, I will always be glad to see you guys.”
“Really? So how come you’ve been putting us off for days now? We usually meet for coffee or a meal, but lately, when we’ve stopped by, the door’s often locked. You aren’t initiating any contact.” He walked in, pulled up a chair, turned it backward and sat down. “So what gives?”
Denton stared at him, feeling speechless.
“This sure as hell better not be the two of you having an issue with me,” Cole declared from the doorway. “We’ve always been able to talk. We’ve always been able to deal with our issues, so what the hell is going on?”
Brock motioned for Cole to come in. “He was fine when I entered, a welcoming expression on his face, so I’ll take that as a good sign.”
Cole grabbed a second chair and sat. “Then why the hell have you been avoiding us?”
“Not so.” The guys staring at him made Denton feel bad. “I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“Okay, so what gives?”
He opened his mouth and then closed it, not sure how to start.
Brock jumped in. “Is it Hannah? You don’t want to say anything to us because you found a girl?”
“Hell no. That’s not the way we roll, and you know that.” Denton hated to think his friends would blame Hannah. Like she didn’t have enough problems making friends on her own already.
Cole nodded. “We’ve never had a problem before. But something is definitely going on, and one of the big changes that we see is that you and Hannah appear to be spending a lot of time together and getting pretty close.”
“I sure hope we are,” he blurted out, then stopped. “And wow, I didn’t expect that answer.”
“This is a good surprise?” Cole asked. “Because we’ve all been blindsided by the women who work here. It’s not that we expect you to be any different. That means we’ve seen the signs that you couldn’t see yet. We didn’t see them at the beginning either. Not until our respective women had gotten in trouble or had issues, one way or another.” Cole laughed. “You should be thanking us. Especially Brock, as he’s been paving the way for the rest of us.”
“Our leader once again,” Denton said teasingly. But he had a big grin on his face, and his heart was warm and feeling so damn fine. “Okay, so the funny thing is, she
and I talked about the fact that she’s never had real friends. And how envious she was that we have the kind of friendship we have. It got me to thinking. What I liked about Hannah was the fact that she wasn’t dependent on anyone. She stood strong even though she was alone, and it never seemed to bother her. Now I realize, of course, it bothers her, and I also realize she’s had to do things in some ways to stand on her own to feel a little more secure.”
The men sat back and stared at him.
“That’s garbage,” Cole said. “I’m sorry for Hannah if she doesn’t have friends or hasn’t experienced what it’s like to be in something like our group, but to consider that she was better off alone or maybe had learned certain things you hadn’t …” He shook his head. “Well, I don’t see that.”
Brock tilted his head and studied Denton. “There’s more to it than that. Does it go back to your perception of yourself as a charity case for most of your life, and you’re still afraid you are?”
“Dammit, Brock.” Irritation flared in Denton’s gut. “I got over that a long time ago.”
Brock raised one eyebrow. “Did you?”
“Of course I did.” He waved his arms wide. “I’m here. I’m delighted to be here. I’m not paying a penny for this. Somebody else is forking over that money. That’s not my issue.”
“Tell us—like it or not—how this could be deemed a charity case, how you feel like you never pulled your own weight because you’ve had so much help. And now you’re afraid you won’t stand on your own two feet because you have us?” Cole asked shrewdly.
Denton sat back and groaned. “It’s not even like that so much. I noticed Hannah had an air of independence about her. Because she hasn’t had friends and family around her. She’s done everything herself. I’m not sure I would’ve made it through without you guys.”
“So you’re afraid that you can’t do what she’s doing? You can’t do it on your own because you have friends?”
Denton felt pinned in place, like a bug under a magnifying glass. “I guess. I know it’s kind of twisted around and upside down. Could you guys not make a big deal out of this? I wanted to see how I would do if I wasn’t texting a dozen times in a day or seeing you guys every day.”