by Dale Mayer
He sat there, staring at the table.
“Have a good night,” she called out.
Back in the dining hall, she placed the tray onto the rack of dirty dishes and then headed to her studio apartment.
If she felt bad before, she felt terrible now. She had a quick hot shower, dried off, and changed into her pajamas. Then she crawled into bed and turned off the light.
“You’re a fool, Hannah. A complete fool,” she whispered to the darkness.
She rolled over and tried to fall asleep. But before long, she knew there would be no sleep for her. She was filled with guilt. What she’d said ate at her. Finally, she grabbed her phone, pulled up his Contact and wrote a quick text.
I’m so sorry.
And she sent it. Instantly, she felt better. She wasn’t a mean person. She hated to hurt anybody, yet there was no way to ignore the fact she had hurt him.
There was no immediate response, and she realized he’d probably gone to bed. That was exactly what she should do too. She pulled up her blankets and closed her eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep. When her phone jingled, she came out of her doze and fumbled for the device.
It was Denton.
“Don’t be sorry. You spoke the truth. It wasn’t easy to swallow some of it. That doesn’t mean it was the wrong thing to do. I only hope the reason you saw that in me wasn’t because you see something similar in yourself. Because that would mean you had suffered and that’s not something I would want for you.”
She burst into tears. Even now he was only thinking of her.
“No, I didn’t, other than losing my best friend,” she quickly replied through her tears, “and what I’ve seen in my years of observing. Maybe I better learn to keep my mouth shut.”
He replied, “Not an issue. So don’t make it one and definitely don’t consider quitting.”
She sniffled. “It might be better if I do.”
“If it’s the job, that’s one thing,” he said. “But please stay in touch. I don’t want to lose you too.”
She cocked her head at the odd phrase. “What do you mean by me too?”
“Being in the military,” he said, “we lost a lot of people I worked with. Some died. Others were too badly injured to continue, and some couldn’t handle the pressure, and they just left. That’s one of the reasons why I work hard to be a good friend—because I’ve lost so many. I don’t want to lose any more.”
“Are we friends? Is that what this is?” she asked. “It seems like it’s so much more.” She took a deep breath, then let the words out. “And yet, at the same time so much less.”
“I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice. “I’ll take the blame for that.”
There was silence, and he winced. This wasn’t quite how he’d wanted the conversation to go. He wanted things between them to be light and heartwarming. And then he realized what he had told her, about him being friends with her. Should he correct that now? Maybe it would be easier over the phone to not see any rejection on her face.
“I want this to be so much more,” he said. “It has the makings to be more. It can be warm and caring and loving. But I understand that you already have somebody else in your life who you are attracted to. And that’s not something I want to interfere with.”
Her broken laugh made his wince deepen.
“Sure, and that person is you. But I felt like I was nothing more than a friend, and isn’t that ironic? Because what I wanted was to be more than friends. Seeing you and your friends, I wanted to be a part of that. And in a way, you have become my friend. Once I realized that, I wanted so much more.”
He grinned. “Then why are we having this conversation over the phone?” he said in a bright tone. “We could be sitting together, having coffee, or curled up in bed, discussing our feelings.”
“I’m not very good at discussing my feelings,” she said with a note of defiance.
“Neither am I.” He gave a laugh. “You do realize how ridiculous this conversation is? Like we’re dragging this information out of each other.”
“You should be getting some sleep. You need to heal tonight so you have a good day tomorrow.”
“What? Are you hanging up on me? This is a perfect opportunity to have a little bit of intimacy.”
“It is?”
He could hear the cautious question in her voice. “It is,” he said affirmatively. “Only somebody who’s been posted on missions all over the world understands how important it is to keep a relationship going over long distances. Only somebody like that can understand how important it is to use whatever medium is available to stay in touch, to keep that connection alive, even though they’re miles away.”
“Oh.”
He shook his head, smiling to himself. “You really are sweet.”
That startled a laugh out of her. “That’s the last thing I am. Pragmatic, yes. Realistic, yes, and reserved, yes.”
“Sweet, yes. Innocent in so many ways, yes. Caring, yes. Even now you’re telling me to go to sleep so I have a better day tomorrow.”
“It’s important. That’s what you’re here for.”
“I’m here for a lot of reasons. Physical healing is one of them. But that doesn’t mean I should turn my back on something else that’s so very important.”
“What is that?”
“You.” He heard her gasp, and then her voice became soft and tender.
“You mean that?”
“Absolutely.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, you still need to get some sleep, and I think we should meet for breakfast. See if you wake up with a completely different mind-set. I’m sure the light of reality and the bright day will change your mind.”
He shook his head and gave a bark of laughter. “Skittish, I like that.” He had no idea why because, in many ways, it was foolish. But something about her always pulling back from a relationship with him was refreshing. It wasn’t that he wanted to give chase, but she wasn’t just diving in, happy to have known him for five minutes.
He’d seen a ton of relationships like that. Short-term. He’d always planned on growing old with somebody, planned on staying with the right person for the rest of his life. He couldn’t imagine anything nicer than taking the next sixty years and exploring the world around them but also the world between them. There was so much to learn when you were with somebody new. Their perspective was different. Their feelings were different. Just the way they comprehended life around them was different. So many people tried to make those perceptions bend and twist to fit their own ways, but he was the opposite.
He wanted to see what the other person had to offer and to learn from it. There was such joy, such freedom, in that. With a smile on his face, he said his goodbyes, hung up the phone and snuggled under the covers. He was reminded once more that coming here had been the best decision he’d ever made. And for once, that decision had nothing to do with Brock and Cole.
Chapter 14
Hannah woke with a smile on her face and a bounce to her step. Inside, however, she had a case of nerves. And then she realized she’d overslept. She raced through her shower and got dressed, and by then, it was time to meet Denton for breakfast, and she felt rushed and panicked. Not the cool, calm, capable woman she preferred to present. Instead, she bolted for the dining room in a mad rush. The last thing she wanted him to think was that she had stood him up.
Of course, he was already there, sitting at a table for two out in the sunshine. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and a smile on his face. She grinned and made her way to him. She sat down. “Sorry I’m late.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You’re not late. I’m early.”
She glanced at her watch and realized she was five minutes early too. She settled back in her chair. “Well.”
He chuckled. “I’ll take that as a good sign on both our parts.”
She leaned over and held out her hand. He picked hers up in his and entwined their fingers. She stared down at them. “Are we thinking that something mi
ght be here?”
“I never had a problem with the whole friendship thing. I needed to understand my motivations behind my actions,” he admitted. “And now I have to take another look at my motivations for maybe not working quite so hard. So I can stay here longer to spend more time with you.”
He had said the words in a joking manner, but she realized he was at least partially serious. She laughed. “I don’t want you doing that. But after you’ve healed and no longer live here, if you were to find a job or a vocation not too far away, then I won’t object to that.”
He nodded. “I’m giving serious thought to that.”
“Any ideas?”
He shook his head. “No, not yet. But I have some friends I can talk to. One is a developer in town. He tried to recruit me before.”
“In Dallas?”
He nodded. “Yes. He does those large multi-building, multi-floor apartments and business high-rises.”
“What would you do?”
He shrugged. “One of the things I was well-known for in the military, and even before, was getting the job done. So I think he sees me as not quite a project manager but maybe the manager over project managers.”
She whistled. “Wow, starting right at the top.”
He shook his head and grinned. “What I get to do is kick butt. Only not military style anymore.”
“I’m beginning to see how different that is,” she said seriously. “The navy and all the other military branches have a pretty tough regimen when it comes to forcing people to do what needs to be done. The fact that you were a US Navy SEAL, well, that adds to my admiration for what you went through.”
He shook his head. “But now I have to deal with something different. And that’s a whole other story.”
She chuckled. “Nope, you are one of those bright friendly guys in every light.”
“Until I’m the one who takes your job away because you can’t do the job yourself.”
She winced. “Okay, I haven’t seen that side of you, but I don’t doubt it’s there. I couldn’t do it. I’d have trouble firing anybody. But I make a great team player.”
“That’s one thing I do understand—teamwork. So it’s an interesting prospect.”
“It would keep you close?”
He nodded. “Thomas has ten years of work ahead of him at least. He’s really buried. He could use an extra hand.”
“But can’t he hand over control to somebody else?”
He shot her a look of respect. “That’s the problem I was thinking about. Thomas has the tendency to be scatterbrained, and he needs somebody to keep him organized too. Anyway, he might come by to talk to me in a week or two. I need more details about the job itself, the hours, and of course, the paycheck.”
“For something like that, it would probably be at least twice what you were paid in the military.”
His eyebrows shot up. “I know the private sector pays a lot more money, but I doubt it would be anything like that.”
“Developers will pay big bucks from what I hear. Particularly if you’re any good, then you can write your own ticket. Because having capable managers who can get the job done will save them time—stop them from having to step in and deal with the crap—and save them money for delays and overruns.” She studied him carefully. “You know? I think you’d do well at that. You’re personable, but you have an iron will.” She gave him a nod. “You’d excel at that.”
“I don’t have any training though. I may have to take some courses or something.” He shrugged and stared down at his coffee cup. “Not sure yet.”
“And no need to rush forward into a decision. You’re here for at least another two months, and then decision time will happen. But not today, not right now.”
“Exactly.” He lifted his coffee cup in a toast. “Well, should we get some food?”
She glanced over at the buffet, showing some signs of activity. “Sure. You know? I think we both should go.” She glanced back at him. “Are you coming?”
“Absolutely.”
Together they walked over and selected their breakfast foods. Hannah grabbed a coffee while she was there and then deliberately turned her back on Denton, letting him know she could give him the space he needed to be independent, and returned to their table. And as she had expected, he had followed behind her with his own tray, encountering no problems.
“You’re getting very adept at handling independence.”
He nodded. “I’m more confident about that now. I may have always been fairly good at it.”
“Plus making friends,” she teased.
“Friends have always been a major part of my support group.” He took several bites of scrambled egg, then lifted his head. “By the way, I’d like to be included in those day trips into town.”
“We’re doing two a month. I’ll put you down for the next one if you like. They’ve become hugely popular. People making friends all over the place,” she added with a smile.
He chuckled. “Fun trips will do that.”
They settled into an easy camaraderie and finished breakfast. Both Cole and Brock walked over and sat down with them, their elbows on the table, glancing from Hannah to Denton. She could feel the heat climbing her neck. She pushed her chair back. “I’ll go grab more coffee.” She looked at Denton. “Shall I refill yours?”
He handed her his cup, and she walked away. She didn’t know why she was uncomfortable with Brock and Cole, except for her earlier motivations and thinking maybe getting close to the women would allow her into that group too—and of course, they likely blamed her for Denton cooling his relationship with Brock and Cole.
So very twisted of her. And her mind acknowledged—so very human. As she looked over her shoulder, the men still sat there. She wasn’t sure what to think about that, but she knew she needed to get used to it. These three were all very close. And of course, it was natural for them to want to check her out and make sure she was good enough for Denton. Something that she probably failed at right from the beginning.
With both cups refilled, she returned to the table, surprised and a little unsettled to join all three of them there.
She gave Brock and Cole as friendly a smile as she could muster. “How are you two doing?”
Cole answered. “Good. We’re checking to make sure our buddy here is doing as well as he can.”
She nodded and kept her voice neutral. “As you can see, he’s doing well,” she said warmly, her gaze darting to Denton and back again.
He reached across the table and covered her hand with one of his.
The men’s gazes went from one to the other, and then Brock spoke up. “We’re glad to see this.”
She glanced at him in surprise. “Why? I thought you were upset over the relationship.”
Brock shook his head. “Only when we thought you were trying to separate him from us.” He gave her a boyish grin. “But we understand now, and so we think you two will do well together.”
Totally surprised at his unexpected response, she stared at him. “Why would you think that?” she asked cautiously.
He grinned. “Because he’s very friendly, and you’re very reserved, so you’ll help tone down the puppy in him, and he’ll help bring out the puppy in you.”
Her jaw dropped. And then she chuckled. “I’m not sure if that sounds like an adult relationship or not, but it does sound like fun.”
“And more fun is definitely required. Something about this place encourages effort, serious determination and focus, but we all need to let our hair down sometimes, and we all need someone to do that with.”
How true. And yet, she wanted so much more. As she glanced over at Denton, she squeezed his hand and watched his gaze light up.
She wondered if she’d ever get tired of seeing that look in his eyes. That sense that they were on the same page, connected in ways she didn’t understand. Lord, she hoped she wouldn’t.
Then he dropped her hand. “There is nothing quite so special as friends.”
<
br /> And wham, she’d been friend-zoned—again.
Denton caught an odd look on Brock’s face and realized he had said the wrong thing. Had she noticed? Did she understand?
Brock and Cole were his friends, but that didn’t mean Denton wanted his buddies to know how close he was getting to Hannah. For that reason he had pulled back, dropping her hand.
Hannah stood then, collected her coffee cup and said, “Back to work for me.” She smiled in farewell and walked away, placing her dirty cup on the dish rack.
Denton glanced at Brock. “What was that earlier look on your face for?”
Brock settled back. “I thought I understood the relationship was much more serious than I first considered. But then you made it sound like you two were just friends, so that confused me. But maybe it’s not me who is confused. It’s you.”
Cole spoke up. “Exactly what I would say. It’s like you’re hot, then cold.”
Denton leaned back. “I didn’t back off that badly.”
Both men snorted.
“Yes, you did,” Brock said. “You dropped the relationship to being just friends.”
Denton glanced at his hands, realizing if that was how his actions looked to the men, it was also how it would look to her. The opposite of what he had wanted. He understood why he’d done it, but he didn’t want to explain it to his buddies.
“I guess I’m a little confused.” He tried to joke it off lightly.
“Understandable. Nothing like a young love to remind us that there’s so much else in life, and maybe she isn’t the right person for you after all.” Cole shrugged. “No way to tell but to go forward and see what comes from it.”
Denton thought about all the things he knew about her—the way she acted, her honesty and caring, her integrity and he was pretty darn sure of the return of emotion. He nodded. “I’m sure she’s right for me.”
“You’ve only known her for like three weeks at most.” Brock shook his head. “Don’t push it.”
Denton laughed. “Is that you saying that? I know you’re another few months down the relationship road with the love of your life, but it didn’t take you long to figure out what you wanted. I’d hate to think I’m that slow.” The thing is, he wasn’t. He knew what he wanted—Hannah.