by V. Vaughn
Chapter 4
ALEC
As I look at her, my heart begins to beat faster and my chest gets tight. I’d forgotten how mesmerizing Hillary is. Up close, I can see the light spattering of freckles on the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks just under her impossibly blue eyes. I tried to count those freckles one warm summer night as we laid out in the bed of my truck on a blanket.
That was the night we had sex for the first time. I remember everything about that night. I recall how I gazed down at her in the moonlight and she was so beautiful it made my heart hurt. She tasted like a summer night to me, and I still get hard whenever I think about the little noises she made when I touched her in places for the first time. It’s branded in my memory for life.
My bear sighs in my chest. He remembers it too.
Hillary walks away to go place my order, and as I watch her, I realize there is no way I’ll be able to leave Heartland again without her.
I need to be part of Hillary’s life. There’s hope I could. All things considered, she’s being friendly. Better than I’d expected. Maybe she’s open to seeing me again, to having a conversation, to letting me kiss and hold her.
I know I hurt her when I left, and if I could do it all over again, I would. If she’ll let me, I plan to make that up to her a hundred times over. My palms are damp with sweat, like I’m a teenager, when I think about asking her out. Probably because the likelihood she’ll say no is high.
I know I shouldn’t ask today. I should give her time to get used to the idea I’m around. But I’m anxious to apologize and make things right. When she returns with my food, I blurt out, “Meet me for coffee tomorrow morning.”
Hillary looks at me for a long moment and then shakes her head. “I’m working.”
“Could we meet after your shift is over?” I almost reach for her hand, longing for the feel of her fingers twined in mine, but instead I slide my hands off the table and into my lap to stop the urge to touch her.
She’s hesitant, and I can’t tell what she’s thinking. It worries me, because nothing good happened to me once Hillary took time to think. “I’m sorry, Alec, but it’s not a good idea.” She plays with the tie on her red-and-white checkered apron which makes me think she’s not sure. That’s something, at least.
She takes a deep breath and says, “I’m glad you stopped by to see me. It’s good to see you again. I’m happy for your success. Really. But you’re just passing through, and there’s no point in starting anything again.”
I open my mouth as I consider telling her that I’m here to stay. It’s on the tip of my tongue. But it’s a lie—isn’t it? That would mean I accept that my football career is over. And I don’t. So, I snap my mouth shut and nod.
Hillary walks away from my table to help another customer who is waving her empty coffee cup in the air. Sadness fills me to the brim along with a touch of shame for being rejected. I’m surprised at myself. I guess my ego is big enough it’s bruised by Hillary turning me down. The fact that I’ve been able to get any woman I want for the last few years might have something to do with it. Although, none of them measured up to Hillary, and the thrill of that got old real fast.
I poke at my ravioli and push it around my plate. My appetite is gone. It occurs to me that as much as I want to get Hillary back, it might be too late. I know she’s attracted to me. Well, her bunny is. I’m sure I heard her rabbit’s soft chattering noise of desire. But Hillary could very well have moved on from me without any need to look back.
I can’t say I’d blame her if she had. And the realization she doesn’t want me makes me feel like a fool for being here.
I pull out a hundred-dollar bill and tuck it under my plate before I get up and leave the diner. Deflated, I get back on my bike and continue the ride through town to get to my childhood home. My parents are gone now, but my brother Bruce took over the place, and it’s located on the outskirts of town, nestled in a wooded valley.
While it’s past working hours for Bruce as an auto mechanic, I didn’t call ahead, and I don’t know if he’ll be there to greet me. When I can see the old homestead, my chest instantly tightens with a longing I didn’t know I had. I drive through the open wooden gate and park my bike in front near the work shed. I don’t see Bruce’s truck, but I hear the whirr of a power tool inside the shed. Somebody’s home and likely working on a car.
I get off my bike and push open the door to the shed to find Bruce using an acetylene torch to fuse the door onto the frame of an old car. It’s a white convertible with a sky-blue interior that’s seen better days, and judging by the body style, I guess the Pontiac is a model from the 50’s. Bruce loves classic cars, and as a side business, he’ll occasionally restore one to sell.
He finishes his weld, hangs up the torch, then flips up the lid on the welding helmet and stares at me. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I smile, missing my brother’s brisk and curt way. Rude is a personality trait for him, and I don’t take offense. I nod toward the car. “She’s a beauty.” He grunts and stares at me, waiting for an answer to his question. “A guy can’t come home and see his brother?”
“No, he can’t. Not when he’s been gone for six years.” He takes off the helmet and approaches me with a scowl. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just had some time off and thought I’d come home.”
Bruce eyes me. He always could see through one of my lies, but he yanks me into a bear hug anyway. He slaps my back, hard enough it hurts. “Good to see you, Alec.”
I return the favor with a smack of my own. “You too.”
After we pull apart, he scans me with his gaze and concern covers his face. “You’re not eating enough red meat.”
I chuckle. When my parents died in a forest fire, he took over as my caretaker. Although he’s only a few years older than me, it didn’t stop him from bossing me around. “I eat plenty.”
“Yeah, but probably not the way us Thompson bears need to eat. I bet you’ve been cooking your meat too long to appease your fancy human friends. I suppose they wouldn’t appreciate watching you chow down on a raw piece of bloody meat.”
I laugh. Bruce doesn’t suffer foolish humans easily. In fact, I don’t think he likes them much. I could count on one hand the number of times he’s left Heartland and mingled with humanity. He’s a homebody who loves his shifter town more than anything else.
“My friends aren’t fancy.”
“Uh-huh. What about that supermodel you dated for the last year or so? She looked fancy enough with her designer dress and shoes I saw her wearing when you two were splashed all over the cover of a magazine in the checkout line.”
He’s talking about Emery, who’s famous for the fact she’s a filthy-rich heiress and her propensity to get photographed nude on hotel balconies and beaches. “I didn’t know you read the tabloids.”
He grunts at me.
“Yeah, I’m not dating her anymore.”
“Good. She wasn’t your type.” He swings an arm around my shoulders and leads us out of the shed toward the main house.
He’s right, Emery wasn’t my type at all. She was all flash with no substance. I dated her because she wanted me. Truth be told, it was a relationship of convenience that worked for both of us. She kept the gold diggers at arm’s length for me, and I kept her in the public eye.
But when the rumors of an engagement started to fly, I broke things off. It felt like our ruse had gone too far, and I worried that it would hurt people I love. Now I realize that deep down it was Hillary I worried about. I never wanted her to think someone ever mattered more to me than her.
She is all the woman I’ve ever wanted or needed. And now I need to find a way back into her heart.
Chapter 5
HILLARY
I yawn as I pour coffee for two of my regulars, Delilah, who owns and operates the local bookshop, and Jane, the town’s mayor. They’re here every day, and they know when I’m off my game. I didn’t sleep well last night. Too many t
houghts about Alec bouncing around in my head. And it didn’t help that my bunny wanted to shift and go bounding around town looking for him.
“Late night?” Delilah asks.
I tried! cries my bunny. “No, just a little bit of insomnia.”
She winks at Jane sitting across the booth from her. “So, it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Alec Thompson is back in town?” Her eyes light up at the prospect of some good gossip. I can’t blame her. It’s the nature of a small town, and I’m not above it myself. But I don’t like it when I’m the subject.
Jane swats her friend on the arm. “Leave her alone, De. No one likes a gossip.”
I’m about to agree with her, when out of the corner of my eye, I spy Alec casually walking into the diner as if he does it every day. He takes a seat nearby, and I bet he’s assuming it’s in my section. He’s right and probably remembers how the restaurant is divided up from being in here all time when we dated. It takes my brain a minute to catch up to the fact that this isn’t high school anymore and we’re not together.
I hate that his hair is damp, as if he just stepped out of the shower, causing me to picture droplets of water rolling down his perfectly chiseled pecs and making me thirsty to lap them up. Yeessss, moans my bunny. I groan at myself and retreat into the kitchen.
Mandy, my coworker and longtime friend, finds me peering around the corner with the hope he’ll leave or at least join someone at a table that’s not in my section. “Do you want me to run pass interference for you, hon? I can take his table, no problem.”
“So, you saw?”
She gives me a pout in solidarity. “I think everyone saw, sweetie.” She rubs my arm in reassurance.
For as long as I can remember, Mandy’s been working at the diner. Not that she’s old; she’s only twenty-eight. But she was the girl who trained me and lived through my relationship with Alec from beginning to end. She knows just how devastated I was when we broke up and watched me devour entire chocolate cream pies over it.
Maybe if I inhale one now, I’ll feel better.
I nod. “Yes, if you could take the table that would be great. I don’t think I can face him right now.”
Not without thinking about him naked in the shower and wanting to climb him like a tree. Or slam him up against a tree. Or on the ground by a tree.
My bunny twitches. I ignore her.
She pats my arm again. “Okay, Hill.”
Mandy can’t help herself. She’s a wolf shifter and the nurturing type who parents everyone who’ll let her. It’s a good thing, too. She’s a single mother, and her son, Daniel, is more than a handful.
Relieved Mandy’s waiting on Alec, I peek around the corner again to watch her approach the table. He smiles up at her, they have a brief conversation, and then Mandy comes back to me with a scowl on her face.
“He’s asking specifically for you and won’t leave until you wait on him. Honestly, I think you better make things crystal clear. He’s one of those guys who doesn’t like to take no for an answer.”
Don’t I know it. I sigh as annoyance ramps up in me. “Oh, for Pete’s sake.”
I stomp over to the table and point my finger at him before he can open his mouth and say anything. “Just because I work at the diner doesn’t mean that I have to be your waitress. You’ve got some nerve walking in here and expecting me to wait on you hand and foot. I’m not your darn wife, which is no one’s fault but your own, so don’t treat me like one. Got it?”
The moment the wife bit comes out I cringe in embarrassment. I don’t need Alec believing I think—thought—about him that way.
“Right on, honey!” Jane shouts out from her booth.
When I glance over at Jane, Delilah gives me a thumbs up.
My cheeks flush, but now I’m more angry than embarrassed that I blew up at him loud enough for everyone to hear me. Although, I did make my feelings crystal clear like Mandy told me to.
“Hillary, if you’ll just give me—”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Nope, I’m not giving you a thing. I don’t owe you any more of my time. You might as well just leave.” I turn on my heel and walk away with smug satisfaction. I bet Alec Thompson hasn’t had a woman talk to him like that in a long time, and I think he had it coming.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t leave. For the next two hours, I take orders, pour coffee and tea, and carry trays of food to my tables, and Alec watches it all.
It’s maddening. Mandy tries to intervene and get him to leave at one point, but she doesn’t have any luck either. Rita Mae just tsks at me and says having a famous quarterback here is good for business. Mandy finally caves and sneaks him coffee and breakfast like I won’t notice, but I don’t get mad at her. I know she can’t watch someone suffer when she can do something to help.
He’s hardly suffering, though. This is a man who is so used to getting what he wants that he thinks he can wear me down. He’s in for a rude awakening.
Finally, when there’s a line out the door, Alec gives up his table. But he leaves me a note written on a napkin, along with a hundred-dollar bill for Mandy. She brings me the note and looks over my shoulder as I read it.
I’ll be back at the end of your shift. There’s something I need to tell you.
I crumple it up and toss it into the garbage.
“Do you want me to call the sheriff and tell him that this guy’s bothering you?” Mandy asks. “He’ll come if I ask him. I’m pretty sure he’s sweet on me.”
It’s tempting, but I resist. “No, I’ll deal with him. But thanks.” I give her a small smile, letting her know I appreciate her support.
“I can come with you and beat some sense into him with my rolling pin if necessary.” She lifts her arm and mimics smacking someone in the head.
I laugh, and she adds, “But can I wait on him one more time? I kind of like the look of old Benjamin.”
I know how much that money means to Mandy. She’s always trying to find ways to make ends meet to support her little family. “He’s yours any time he comes in. Promise.”
I’m grateful I have Mandy as a friend. She’s always been there for me. And for a brief second, I consider her offer to beat some sense into Alec.
But it wouldn’t solve anything. Alec isn’t one to back down from a challenge. I have to talk to him. My stomach churns, because try as I might, I can’t seem to push my attraction to Alec back into the box I’d been keeping it in.
I don’t know what he thinks I need to hear, but whatever it is, it’s not going to convince me we should get back together for a brief fling while he’s here. Because when he leaves…
My bunny whispers, It would sure be fun.
She can’t help herself. Most shifters’ animals are driven by their id, and pleasure is foremost in their minds. I flood her with the memory of our heartbreak, and it makes her remind me of crying on my bed when the food I was binging on had made me too fat to fit in my clothes.
Pain slices through my heart as I recall how hard it was to pull myself out of the depths of that despair, and it appeals to my bunny’s tender side. She fills me with the love of her hug, and I smile.
“Thank you,” I say out loud. It’s to my bunny but also to Mandy, who is still standing beside me in solidarity.
“You’re welcome, sweetie,” Mandy says. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
“I know.”
She hugs me, and I feel a bit better knowing both Mandy and my bunny have my back. They’ve given me the courage to face Alec and tell him what I’ve waited six years to say.
Chapter 6
ALEC
I went to the park to sit and think while Hillary finished her shift. I was as hopeless as a lovesick teenager as I replayed all the happy memories I have of Hillary and me. And it occurs to me that I’m only feeling a taste of the pain she must have felt when I left her behind.
While it’s probably not true, I feel as if I’ve only got one shot for Hillary to listen to me. From what I rem
ember about her schedule, since she was on at breakfast, she should get out around two after the lunch rush is over. I walk over at one-thirty to be sure.
I’m sure people think I’m a stalker as I watch her through the window. More than one customer says hello and then gives me the side eye before they go in. At a little after two o’clock, I see Hillary take off her apron and duck back into the kitchen. I know she could easily leave through the back entrance, and I wonder if she’s changed her mind about talking to me. I wouldn’t blame her if she did.
About the time I’m ready to go check she walks out the front door and stands in front of me expectantly, her eyes wide and eyebrows arched up to her hairline. It’s a look I’ve seen before, and I know whatever I say better be good.
She jams her hands into her coat pockets. “I’ve only got five minutes because I need to get home.”
I think about the fact she might not be single. My throat burns with acid as if I’m going to throw up as I imagine the possibility.
“Is someone waiting for you at home?”
“Yes, and now you only have four minutes left.”
I want to ask who it is, but I don’t think I can handle that right now. And I’m sure as hell the question wouldn’t go over well, so I spit out what I need to say.
“Look, Hillary, I’m so sorry for leaving you—”
She puts up her hand to stop me from finishing. “An apology?” She lets out a huff of irritation. “It’s too little, too late, Alec. You can’t just come here, apologize, and expect me to pretend it’s okay. You don’t have any idea how much you hurt me, do you? And if I—"
Her eyes fill with tears, and she swallows hard to fight them. It cuts through my heart like a knife, and I want to reach out and pull her into my arms. To comfort her. But I’m the one who caused her so much pain, and apparently, I still do.
She clears her throat and says, “What you did taught me a valuable lesson, Alec. I won’t let you toy with my heart like that again.” She pauses to take a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “I accept your apology if that’s what you need to move on. And I’d really appreciate it if you stopped coming by to see me. Can—” Her voice cracks. “Can you just go back to your life now and leave me alone? Please?”