by V. Vaughn
My heart stops. I’d managed to spend the last two hours not obsessing about Alec and a fresh wave of powerful emotions nearly drown me. “I— Why are you asking me?” I realize my tone is a touch harsh, and I paste on a huge smile. “You know I’m not a sports girl.” I wink at Marvin. “Don’t tell anyone, but for the longest time I thought Alec played baseball.”
He chuckles. “You’re cute. But rumor has it you and Alec are…” He gives me an exaggerated wink.
I roll my eyes at him… and at this town with all its gossip. I should have known Alec and I kissing in the park wouldn’t go unnoticed. “Nope,” I say as I begin to walk away so I can avoid further discussion of the matter. “You heard wrong.”
It takes all I have not to scream in frustration as I rush to the kitchen so I can have a private moment. Pain radiates through my shoulder blades as I fall back against the wall and let out a groan. I hadn’t really considered the fact that Alec and I would be the hot topic of gossip when I kissed him yesterday. Heck, I’m surprised it took this long for someone to ask me about it.
Just when I think it can’t get worse, Mandy comes in the kitchen and makes a beeline over to me. Her squinty stare and haughty tone tell me all I need to know about how she feels when she asks, “How did it go with Alec yesterday?”
I grab a rag and avoid her gaze as I wipe down the breakfast counter. “Not so good. The doctor confirmed what we already knew.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Want to talk about what you two were doing in the park?”
I sigh. “Not really.”
“Are you two back together?”
“No. Most definitively not.” I shake my head, knowing I might as well tell her about it now. “I couldn’t help myself. It happened in a weak moment. My bunny wants him bad, and—” My face heats up as I recall how sexy it was when Alec licked my hand. “And oh my god, Mandy. He sucked ice cream off my fingers! What’s a girl supposed to do with that?”
She gives me a sympathetic nod. “That is totally hot. But Hill, you’re setting yourself up for a big fall.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
“You’ve got to be strong, girl. Live in the present and stop dwelling on the past. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about here. My baby daddy?” She shakes her head. “That man can just wink at me and I’m gone. But if I give in, I pay a very painful price.” She chuckles, but I can see the sorrow in her eyes.
I know something tragic happened there, but she’s never talked about it to me. If she wants to tell me, I’ll listen. But it’s not my place to ask. “Do you hear from him?” I ask.
She waves my question away like she always does when I try and get her to open up to me about Daniel’s father. “You see, that’s a question about the past. It doesn’t matter. Today is what matters.”
I nod.
She studies me for a moment. “If Alec moved back permanently, would you want to try again?”
Just a couple of days ago, my answer would have been hell no. Now… steamy kiss aside… I chew on my lower lip. I spent so much time imagining what it would be like if Alec had no choice but to move back here after a serious injury that the fantasy of being with him is still strong in my mind.
But I’m not sure if I’ll ever get over the pain of his initial rejection. No matter how much he swears he made a big mistake. I shrug. “I don’t know.”
Mandy sets her hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “I get it. He’s your mate, and it’s a hard thing to deny. You know I’m not a fan of Alec Thompson, but no matter what you decide, I’ll support your decision.”
She grabs the rag from my hand and takes over my cleaning as I mull over what she said. Your mate is hard to refuse. And the fact that Alec never slept with anyone else… When he has had so many gorgeous women at his disposal? Well…
Mandy glances at me. “I’m not going to hold your hair after you have one too many tequila shots while crying over that boy.” She smiles to let me know she’s teasing. “Not again. You understand me?”
She so would, and I smile back at my friend. “Got it.”
My bunny bounces around in my head with the hope I’ve just given her. Yes! Yes! Give him a chance! The greatest love of your life is worth the risk.
Taking a chance on Alec is a huge risk. One I’m not sure I can afford to take.
Chapter 14
ALEC
I lumber around the yard again in my bear form, testing out my back leg. It stills throbs, and I can’t put all my weight on it. To be fair, my leg is heavier in my bear form, but it’s also stronger. This has been the fourth time I’ve shifted in the past two days since I went to the doctor and got the final verdict on my injury, but there’s been no change.
It’s not that I didn’t believe my knee is shot. It’s that I’m avoiding what I have to do now.
I crouch on the grass and force the shift back to human. Thankfully, it’s not as painful going back as it is transforming into my bear. Still, I feel helpless, and it’s not a feeling that I or my bear enjoys.
I get dressed and go back in the house. A beer is cold in my hand when I grab it from the refrigerator. I pop the top and chug it down, but it’s not as satisfying as I thought it would be. I can blame it on the fact that I’ve become accustomed to expensive craft beer from microbreweries. And my brother only stocks cheap beer, simple, like him. But it’s not about the quality of the beer and I know it. This is about me.
I need to go beyond accepting that my career as a professional football player is over and deal with the consequences. It’s time to stop being a coward.
I crush the empty can in my hand and grab my cell phone to make a call I probably should have made a week ago.
“Fontaine,” the head coach of my team says as he answers on the second ring.
“Roger, it’s Alec.”
“Jesus Christ, son, where have you been? You haven’t been answering my calls or anyone else’s for that matter. That’s bad form. You’re a day late for practice.”
In football land, this is inexcusable. I get paid, and paid well, to do what I’m told.
“I know. I’m sorry Coach.” I know he’ll forgive me. He might be my boss, but he’s got a soft spot for me too.
“Don’t tell me it’s bad news, son. Is it the knee?”
I wince, knowing I’ve put him in a difficult situation. He knew I was struggling with my injury healing, and he’d have done anything he could to help me if I’d let him. But even worse, he’s going to need to get the second quarterback up to speed on short notice. And the fact I haven’t called sooner isn’t fair to him. I say, “It is.”
There’s a long drawn out sigh on the other end. “How bad? Tell me straight.”
“I’m done, Coach. Doctors tell me my knee is done for. I’ll never be able to play again.”
“Damn.” He’s silent. It’s not vain to acknowledge the fact that this news makes him grieve a bit too, right along with me. I was a key factor in our winning seasons and our current notoriety. I helped make the man a lot of money, too. “I’m sorry to hear it, Alec. It’s a damn shame. You’re the best quarterback I’ve ever worked with.”
A lump forms in my throat. I try to swallow it down, but my voice comes out in a croak. “Thank you, Coach.”
“Do you know what you’re going to do now?”
“No, not really.” The truth is I haven’t given it much thought because I’m been giving Hillary most of my think time. “I’m back home in Heartland trying to figure it out.”
“Have you ever thought about coaching? You’d be a damn fine quarterback or offensive line coach, Alec. Any team would be lucky to have you.”
“No, I hadn’t, but I appreciate you saying that.”
“All right, if that’s something you want to discuss, you have my number. You can call me any time, day or night.”
“Thanks, Coach. I’ve loved playing for you.”
After we disconnect, I feel the need for another beer. Cheap no longer matters, because my
life has changed drastically, and it’s time for me to figure out what to do next.
I take my beer out to the deck. After I sit, I inhale a deep breath of cool, fresh, clean air and think about my options. It occurs to me, like it has so many times over the years when I had a big decision to make, that I wish I could talk to Hillary about it.
She’s one of the best voices of reason I ever had. She helped me brainstorm almost every essay and project I ever did in school. But even more importantly, she’s the one person I want to factor into whatever I decide.
I want to go to the diner to see her. But I don’t want to make her mad by showing up again. We haven’t talked since she went with me to the doctor, and I wonder if maybe she doesn’t want to see me again.
My bear weighs in. Don’t be a coward, man.
“I’m not,” I mumble. “I just don’t want to ruin things a second time.”
You can’t be a chicken about going after your woman. She needs to know you’ll do anything for her. That you won’t stop until she’s yours again.
I snort. “I’m sorry, that totally sounds part stalker, part asshole. Get with the times.”
My bear growls deep inside me. I can actually feel it rumble my bones. Talk to her. Let her know her opinion matters.
It occurs to me he’s got a point. Hillary does need to see that my future decisions are going take her into consideration.
Go!
“I will, I will. After a shower.”
My bear snorts. Her bunny loves our scent.
“Maybe so, but Hillary doesn’t.” I go into the bathroom, strip off my clothes, and get into the shower. As I wash, I try and think about what I’m going to say to Hillary. I need to word things in a way that will make her agree to talk things through.
After I get dressed, I make my way outside toward my motorcycle, and as I look at it, I know that’s not what I should be driving. I turn on my heel and walk toward the outbuilding where Bruce has been keeping my truck all these years. A beat-up, workhorse Toyota that will rust out before the engine ever dies.
The garage door that accesses the storage shed is old school, and the wheels squeal on the track as I yank it up. I smile when I see my red truck, shining as if it dressed for the occasion too. I should have known Bruce wouldn’t let a vehicle sit idle and rot. I open the door and climb into the driver’s seat. And as I place my hands on the wheel, I swear I can smell the faint scent of lemon. An odor that is all Hillary.
When I start the truck, the engine turns over with ease. “Thanks, bro.” Say what you will about my brother Bruce’s manners, but you can’t deny the man has a heart of gold. As I pull out of the shed, my hands are slick on the wheel, and I realize my palms are sweaty. I laugh at myself because it’s like the first time I asked Hillary out, and I wonder if she has any idea that now, just like back then, she’s got me in the palm of her hand. All I have to do is find a way to convince her to keep me.
Chapter 15
HILLARY
By the time my waitress shift ends, my feet are aching. I’ve been on them all day, and it was a busy one. Two-dollar Tuesday always has them lining up out the door. That and the fact that Tony is one hell of a cook, no matter how busy we get.
Plates clash on my tray as I carry them into the kitchen, and I think about a long, hot foot soak when I get home. Maybe a full body one, with some herbs from my garden infusing the water.
I step back out into the dining room to finish cleaning my last table so I can clock out and get off my feet. I spot Alec sitting in a booth in my section where he’s been sitting every time he comes in since he first walked back into my life a week ago. But seeing him today doesn’t make me mad the way it did a week ago. My bunny is happy he’s here, and darn it, I am too.
When he sees I’m looking, he gives me a little wave. I wave back and notice how tired he looks. Run down, as if he hasn’t been sleeping. My heart aches for him because I know how hard it is to sleep when your dream’s been shattered.
Go talk to him. My bunny hops around in my head. If it were up to her, she’d be over there already. Snuggling her bear to offer him comfort. I’m not quite as impulsive.
I can still be a friend to Alec, though. I let out a sigh as I wipe down my table, and Rita Mae comes to stand next to me. “He looks like crap.”
“Yeah. He’s going through a tough situation right now.”
Rita Mae says. “Go talk to him. I’ll set this table for you.”
“Are you sure?” I blink at her in surprise.
“Yeah. He looks like he could use a friend.”
She’s right. And a friend is something I can be. I grab the pot of coffee and walk over to him. The hot drink splashes into his cup, and he inhales the scent and sighs.
“Thanks,” he says.
“Can I sit so we can talk?”
His eyes widen a bit. “Of course. It’s why I came. I was trying to find a way to ask you if you would.”
After I set the coffee pot back, I slide into the booth. “You look horrible.”
He chuckles. “Thanks.”
“You’re not sleeping, are you?”
“Not much.” He takes a sip of coffee, sighing with satisfaction. “I finally made the call to my coach to tell him I was done, that I couldn’t play football anymore.” He leans forward a little, setting his elbow on the table and rubbing at his forehead, and the gesture tugs at my heart. “I should’ve done it before now. It wasn’t fair of me to make him wait like that.”
“I’m sure he knew how hard it was for you to accept.”
He nods. “Yeah, probably.”
“I imagine your coach has had to deal with this sort of thing before.”
Alec takes another sip of coffee, cupping his hands around the warm mug. Then he leans back and sighs with so much pain it’s palpable. “It’s weird. I always knew football wouldn’t last forever, but I never spent any time thinking about what’d I do when it was over.”
“You’ve got a name a lot of people know. Maybe you can capitalize on that.”
“I guess.”
“What are you thinking about? Do you have any idea what you might like to do?”
He shrugs. “What do you think about me maybe coaching quarterbacks? Think I’d be any good at it?”
My heart stops. Because while it would be a natural fit for him, since we don’t have any professional teams close by, it means he’d have to leave to do it.
Just like I knew he would. I close my eyes to brace against the wave of pain that washes over me before I say, “Sure. I do think you’d be good at it.” I twist the paper napkin on the table so tightly that pieces of it start coming apart. The white fibers fall like snow as I kick myself for caring so much. For letting his actions hurt me one more time.
“Maybe. The thing is I like it here in Heartland,” he says. “I’d forgotten how much I’ve missed the town, and the people, and…” I stop breathing because I know what he’s going to say, and like an arrow to my heart, I know how much it’s going to hurt. “And you, Hillary. Always you.”
He reaches for me but pulls his hand back when I say, “Alec, don’t.”
“I don’t need to coach. I could do something unrelated to football.”
My bunny perks up, as do I, and I immediately jump on it. “You could. What kind of business are you thinking of?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe you could work on cars with Bruce,” I suggest.
He lifts his hands. “These babies are not meant for hard labor.” He chuckles.
I roll my eyes and kick myself for thinking he might take working in this town seriously, and my snark comes out. “Yes, I remember. Maybe you could be a hand model. Since those hands are so valuable.”
He smirks, either missing my nasty tone or ignoring it. “They’re insured. No joke.”
“My apologies. Those hands are meant for great things.” Like touching me. And me, says my bunny.
But that’s dangerous territory.
; “I’ve got time before I have to figure anything out,” Alec says. “I’ve got enough investments I don’t need to work for a while.”
“Well, that’s good.”
Those hands… My bunny is bouncing all over the place and refusing to keep me in the safe zone when it comes to Alec. It’s time to go.
“So, my shift is over.” I slide out of booth.
He leans forward, anxiously. “Are you heading home?”
“Yeah, I was planning to.”
“I have a better idea,” he says, and there’s that damn twinkle in his eyes again. The look I know means he’s up to no good. It also says whatever he has in mind will be fun, even if it gets us in trouble. Trouble that is usually worth it.
Chapter 16
ALEC
Hillary’s fidgeting. Her bunny probably needs to come out. As I recall she needs to shift almost every day or her bunny drives her crazy, and I think that’s what’s going on right now.
“Are you going home to shift?” I ask. I know the answer already but say it anyway to prove that I know her and remember her quirks.
She nods, trying not to smile. “Yeah, you know me. Can’t sit still for more than a half hour.”
I smile. “Can I come? I’d love to shift with you.”
She doesn’t immediately respond to my offer, which makes me nervous. Was that too far? Too much to ask?
My bear doesn’t think so. He’s rearing up on his hind legs. He loves the idea.
“You remember how great it used to be playing in the woods together, don’t you?” I can’t help asking. I want to see her reaction.
“Of course, I remember. It used to be one of my favorite things to do. As you recall it was one of the only things my bunny wanted to do.” She smiles and rolls her eyes. I think she’s remembering that sex is the other thing her bunny loves to do, and I bet she wishes she hadn’t mentioned it.
“That’s all I want. To have some fun.”