Finding Forgiveness pp-1

by Dana Marie Bell

  “And I’m telling you to stay the fuck away from him until the migraines are under control. Got it?” Rick glared at Ben again. “In fact, I’m thinking I might send you into New York for a few days. The Coyotes want to negotiate a pass-through treaty and I’m inclined to send you and Chela to deal with it.”

  A pass-through treaty would grant each Pack the right to enter the other’s territory without the need to stop and make nice. It would mean more Coyotes spending time at the lodge, even becoming regular customers if it worked out. It also meant that Ben would more than likely be gone until after Dave came home and had a chance to settle in. It would also give everyone’s temper a chance to settle down.

  As plans went, it wasn’t a bad one. The urge to go to his mate’s side despite the doctor’s warnings and Rick’s threats was damn near overwhelming. Having the time to come up with a way to make things up to his mate would be appreciated, and knowing he was earning back his Alpha’s approval would calm his wolf. “I’ll go.” He stood, his hands shaking. “But you have to promise me that all bets are off if Dave is in any danger.”

  “Ben—”

  “No.” He glared at his Alpha, who snarled back. “If it was Belle, what would you do?”

  “I did what was right.”

  Ben’s jaw clenched. Rick had done what he’d thought was right, leaving his wounded Luna in Halle despite the fact that the mating hadn’t been completed. Belle had needed her own doctors and the hospital in Halle to heal the damage she’d received defending a Pridemate from a stalker. Now that the Halle Pride leaders had agreed to allow the Pack to use their facilities, Rick could allow his Packmates to go back and forth to see one of the few shifter doctors in the area. Hell, with the coming treaties with the New York Coyote Pack, odds were they’d have access to more and better facilities than even Halle had. Ben bet the Halle Pride would have their own representatives talking to the Coyotes. Cats might be lazy by nature, but Max Cannon, the Pride’s Alpha, wasn’t one to let grass grow under his feet.

  Ben eyed Belle. “Will Max have anyone at these talks?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe. He doesn’t inform me of his plans.” She smirked. “But he does know to keep your ass away from Dave.”

  Of course he did. Belle and the Halle Puma Curana, Emma, were friends. Ben resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I give you my word, I will not approach Dave until he’s returned from the hospital. I won’t give you any promises beyond that.”

  Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Ben.”

  “No. It’s the best we can hope for.” Rick’s hand slid across Belle’s hip. “It was what I could promise you, after all.”

  She shook her head, but Ben knew the memory of her mate’s claiming had soothed her. Rick had marked her within an hour of her arrival at the Red Wolf Lodge, making her both Pride and Pack. He’d then handed her Lowell’s Restaurant, the Lodge’s steak house, to manage, fulfilling her dreams of owning and operating her own restaurant.

  “Ben? Go pack. You’re out of here as of tomorrow morning. You too, Chela. And don’t fuck this up. It could mean big things for both the Lodge and the Pack. Got it?”

  “Got it.”

  “Sure thing, boss.” Ben sighed and left the room. He debated going back to his office, but fuck it. He was taking the rest of the day off to pack and plan. Watching his Alpha with his Luna never failed to cause him pain and pride. Pride, because Belle really was the best Luna, despite her feline handicap, the Pack had ever had. Pain, because he didn’t think he could have that kind of closeness with his own goofy mate. The man was a perfect foil for Rick’s stern Alpha persona. People spoke to the Beta in a way they did not with the Alpha, more comfortable with Dave’s easy-going ways and hidden strength. Everyone revered the Alpha pair, but they all adored Dave.

  Even him.

  He remembered one of the few times he’d allowed his guard down around the Beta. They’d been bringing Belle home to Rick, her wounded hip still bothering her from what he could tell. She’d been in therapy for months before the Pride doctors had released her for what she called Lunatic duty.

  He snorted, amused, and threw on his lightweight suede jacket. He could still hear the sound of Dave’s laughter, his jokes, even his taunts. He strode out of the main lodge and headed for the back cabins reserved for “employees”. Little did the paying customers know that these cabins were the nicest homes in the area.

  Belle had tried not to laugh as the lodge’s sign came into view. “Red Wolf Ski Lodge and Spa, hmm?”

  Ben had grinned, still tickled by the name Rick’s great-grandfather had picked for the place. Talk about throwing their presence in the oblivious humans’ faces!

  “Like it?” He chuckled when she snorted. “Most of the big ski resorts around here shift into water parks for the summer, but people mostly come here from New Jersey, New York and Philadelphia for the skiing. Recently we upgraded some of our facilities to be more wheelchair accessible.”

  Dave had started filling in the gaps, the love he had for the place clear in his voice. Ben wouldn’t have admitted it, but he loved the lodge all the more when Dave spoke of it. “We have a full gym, a day spa, babysitting services offered by some of the Pack females, and even a small golf course. All of it sits on about three thousand acres, a third of which is forested. Hiking and horseback riding are popular in the spring in this area. We just warn the humans to beware of wild animals. Right now, our only guests are shifters; Rick arranged it that way because…well, you’ll see.”

  The Red Wolf Lodge was a huge wood and stone building. It looked like a mountain cabin on steroids. It was long, two stories high, with a vaulted, dark gray roof barely visible under the snow. The doors of the hotel rooms could be seen through the railings of the huge deck that ran all around the second story. Belle had stared through the front windshield with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Where are the cabins?”

  Ben took one hand off the steering wheel and started pointing. “The cabins are around the back. If you follow the road to the right, it leads to them. Follow the road to the left, and it takes you to our banquet facilities.”

  She turned back to Dave. “Banquet facilities?”

  As the event coordinator for the Lodge, Dave was intimately familiar with all the Lodge’s party facilities. Ben was the money man, his sole job to keep the Lodge operating in the black. The two frequently butted heads over Dave’s more extravagant ideas. “Winter weddings are pretty popular up here. Wait until you see the room. With the fairy lights lit, it looks like a winter wonderland.”

  Ben had flicked a glance at Dave, and the urge to tease his mate had been overwhelming. He’d gone with it, hoping it would also soothe his new Luna’s nervous energy. “Damn, Dave. You’re such a girl.”

  Belle had covered her mouth, but not before Ben saw her smile in the rearview mirror.

  “What?” Dave had been shocked, not just by the comment. Ben never teased the other man, preferring to avoid him whenever possible.

  “Fairy lights?” Ben’s brows had risen. It had been all he could do not to laugh out loud.

  “Isn’t that what they’re called?”

  “Yeah, but… I mean, real men don’t say fairy lights. Call them Christmas lights, or, I dunno, string lights.”

  The Beta’s eyes had narrowed dangerously. “Are you questioning my masculinity?”

  “All I’m saying is, if I see you dancing around in a tutu, I’m not gonna be surprised.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Fairy.”

  Dave’s eyes had twinkled, hope making them brighter. “I’m gonna kick your ass when we get out of the Pack meeting.”

  “You can try, Tinkerbell. You can try.”

  Belle leaned forward. “Dave?”

  “Hmm?” He stopped glaring at Ben long enough to turn towards her.

  Belle grinned and kept her voice low, but not so low Ben couldn’t hear her. “I think he likes you.”

  She sat back and waited for the explosion.

&nb
sp; “Oh no. No way.” Ben’s face was beet red as he pulled up outside the lodge. He couldn’t let this go any further. He already regretted putting that hope on Dave’s face. He’d known it was a hope he could never fulfill. They’d both just have to live on the mate dreams, because until Dave got his drinking under control there was no way Ben could be with him.

  Dave had leaned over, an evil look in his eye. One hand fumbled the door open behind him. “Admit it, sweetie. You want my ass.” He blew Ben a kiss before hopping out of the truck, sprinting for the front of the lodge before Ben could even turn the truck off.

  Ben had scowled after the Beta as he exited the car, but now, gods, now he wished he’d chased the man down, admitted how much Dave was right, and taken his mate then and there. The weeks and months since then had been pure torture as once again he did his best to keep his distance.

  And he had no one to blame but himself. If he could get Dave to forgive him he’d be everything his mate needed, no matter what.

  Ben stalked from the lodge, the scowl on his face warning away the few “employees” who attempted to approach him. The scent of spring, of green growing things and raw, rich earth, failed to soothe him. Nothing but Dave, safe and in his arms, could ease him today.

  Ben opened his cabin door and headed right for his bedroom. Too bad he wasn’t going to enjoy it for too much longer. If Dave refused him, he had no doubt Rick would see to it that Ben left the Pack.

  Permanently.

  Chapter Three

  Dave sat up in bed and tried not to snarl at the pretty young thing flirting with him. The last thing he needed was some big-breasted Puma thinking he needed some TLC. And even if he did have leanings toward the soft and feminine, the fact that he knew who his mate was would have kept him from doing anything about it.

  It was the lack of a mating mark. He knew that. He was fair game until Ben decided he was worthy to wear Ben’s mark.

  Dave snorted. Yeah. Like that was ever going to happen.

  “Hey, stranger!”

  Dave winced. Oh, God. Please no. Don’t let it be—

  “Move it, sweetie, the man doesn’t swing your way.”

  Emma.

  Pretty, blunt Emma Cannon, the Curana of the Halle Puma Pride and the only woman he’d ever met strong enough to stand up to Belle, gently pushed the blushing, stammering nurse out the door and shut it firmly behind her. “I brought you some real food.” She held up the white paper bag, the smell filling the room now that the perfumed nurse was gone.

  “Oh, God. For that, I’ll switch teams.”

  She laughed and handed him the bag of medium-rare burgers fresh off the grill. Frank’s Diner had the best burgers in the tri-state area, and Dave was rapidly becoming addicted. “So. Rumor has it that Ben has been sent to New York to negotiate a pass-through treaty with the Coyotes.”

  Dave nodded, trying not to feel anything at the sound of his mate’s name. As far as he was concerned, from now on Ben was just another Wolf.

  Yeah. Right. Someday he might even believe that.

  “Rumor also has it he thought you were an alcoholic.”

  Dave choked on the bite of burger he’d just tried to swallow. Emma pounded on his back with hammer-like blows.

  She was dainty, but she was mighty.

  “You okay?”

  Dave nodded, red-faced for more than one reason. Who had told the Curana that? “I’m not.”

  “Psh. Please. I know that.” She waved her hand at him and picked up one of the burgers, checking under the bun for God knew what. When she didn’t find it (or did, Dave had no clue), she bit happily into the sandwich. “Mmm. Damn. These are so good.”

  Dave eyed the extremely rare, bloody bit of beef between the buns held in her small hands. “Um. Emma? Are you feeling okay?”

  “Never better,” she moaned. “You gotta try this.”

  Even for a Wolf that was some pretty rare meat. He wondered if Frank had even bothered to sear the outside or just slapped it raw onto a bun. The only time Dave ate meat that rare was when he wore his fur. “Will it moo at me?”

  Emma giggled. “I thought that’s the way Wolves liked it.”

  “Only in my fur. My human taste buds prefer medium-rare.” He took a bite of his own burger, happy to note that it had definitely had some intimate moments with a grill.

  “Anyway, he’ll be there for a few days, so you should be able to return home without him bothering you. After that, you’re on your own.”

  Dave shrugged. He wouldn’t worry about it. His trip to Disney World was coming up in a few weeks. With some luck and careful planning, he’d probably be able to avoid Ben for that short amount of time. The distance would help keep Dave from assaulting the man. If he did, he didn’t know if he’d mark him or beat the shit out of him.

  How could Ben think so little of him? And why hadn’t the man ever asked him if he drank? All of the pain and sorrow of the last nine years could have been avoided if Ben had only spoken to him. But no. Ben had chosen his path, and now it was time for Dave to choose his.

  Starting with Gay Pride Week at Disney World.

  With luck, Dave would find that he was one of the rare Wolves who had more than one mate. It was so far from common that most Wolves looked only for one, but if Dave was one of the fortunate few, he’d find someone who loved him. Someone who didn’t have the emotional baggage he and Ben had.

  It didn’t matter that he still carried around that stupid shirt, hoping Ben would come to his senses. It definitely didn’t matter that, even if Ben did, he’d never have the balls to wear it. It had become the symbol of Dave’s hopes and dreams, and he took it everywhere he went. It was under his pillow at night, in his desk drawer during the day. Hell, he’d even taken it on vacation before, but not this time. Dave reminded himself not to pack it. He wouldn’t need it. The odds of Ben showing up in Disney World, looking for his ass and ready to apologize, were pretty damn slim.

  His fingers dove under the covers, his hand clenching around the soft material of the T-shirt.

  God, he was such an idiot.

  “What’s your plan? Going to torture him? Going to make him beg for forgiveness?”

  “Rick told him about the migraines?”

  Emma snorted. “Rick was all set to Outcast him.”

  Dave froze. Oh hell no. No. No matter how pissed he was at Ben, he couldn’t picture putting his mate through that torture. Ben would be stripped of his powers as Marshall and sent down the mountain. He would be fair game to any Wolf who thought they could take him. Odds were good he’d be dead within a year or two if he didn’t find a new Pack and Alpha willing to take a chance on him.

  Most wouldn’t. Most would assume he’d been Outcast with good reason and would drive him away with prejudice. That new Wolf living in Halle, the pretty one with the green hair and the huge Bear mate, was the exception to the rule, and the only way she’d managed was by staying wolf for years at a time.

  “Please tell me he didn’t.” Because if Ben had been Outcast Dave would go to him, rejected or not. Dave would protect his mate until they found a new place, a new home.

  Dave would kill Rick if his mate died.

  “He didn’t.”

  Dave collapsed, his fingers once more brushing over the material of that goddamn shirt. “Fuck. Don’t scare me like that.”

  When he looked over at the Curana, he saw that she’d had every intention of scaring him just like that. “Honey, you need to claim him.”

  Dave snorted. Yeah. No shit. Just the thought of Ben in danger was enough to send his wolf howling for the door, any thought of protecting himself or his heart gone in an instant.

  Maybe that was what was needed. Maybe, instead of waiting for Ben to take matters into his own hands, Dave should do the claiming. Ben might be older, but apparently he was nowhere near wiser.

  Maybe, just maybe, the trip to Disney would restore Dave’s spirits and make approaching Ben easier. He grinned and bit into his burger.

  M
aybe it was just what the doctor ordered.

  Ben dropped the package of meat at the back door of Dave’s cabin. Flowers hadn’t worked. He’d found them strewn across Dave’s back yard. The chocolates he’d left had melted into a gooey mess. Ben had caught sight of Dave rinsing the back porch off and muttering dire threats about whoever had left them there.

  That left his wolf’s suggestion of meat. Maybe this would win Dave’s attention in a way the more feminine offerings hadn’t. Besides, he had to replace the hot dogs he’d filched from Dave’s refrigerator when the man was off working. If Rick saw them there he’d tear the Beta a new one.

  Ben bounded back into the woods, pleased with himself. He knew Dave was home, but from the smell of things his mate wasn’t alone. That didn’t bother Ben. He knew the person Dave was with and trusted him implicitly. Rick would take care of Dave in a way Ben couldn’t, not yet anyway. He just hoped his mate hadn’t developed another one of those debilitating headaches. It would just about kill him to know his mate hurt and wouldn’t let Ben near.

  He’d tried a few times to get Dave’s attention in the week since he’d been back from New York, but Dave was avoiding him like…well, like Ben had once avoided him. Aggressively polite when cornered once, Dave had calmly waited, arms crossed, for whatever Ben wanted to say. Before Ben could even begin his apology, Chela had arrived and dragged the Beta off. The only reason Ben wasn’t pissed was because it had to do with Dave’s job as an event coordinator with the Lodge. Chela had actually apologized to him for dragging Dave away, but the relief on Dave’s face was unmistakable.

  He was happy to be dragged away, even if it meant working just before a Pack meeting.

  Ben trotted through the trees until he came to his own cabin. He slipped back into his human skin, changing easily from wolf to man. He strode into his cabin and prayed that this time, his offering to his mate would be accepted.

  If it wasn’t, neither man nor wolf had a clue what to do next.