“How’s this tough old goat of a retired cop?” she asked.
“He’s been better.” Bruce smiled. “But he’s on the mend. What have you got there?”
“Oh!” Claire peeled back the foil covering the rectangular metal tray. “Hayley made this for you. She said it’s an early Christmas present.”
Josh’s heart stuttered at the mention of Hayley.
“Lime green Jell-O squares!” Bruce’s eyes sparkled. “Tell me, are there maraschino cherries in them?”
Claire laughed. “You bet there are. I’m pretty sure they’re non-alcoholic, though.”
“Hayley’s amazing.” Bruce shook his head in admiring disbelief. “I mentioned to her on Thanksgiving how lime green Jell-O with maraschino cherries was my favorite—and to think she remembered it.”
“She’s a pretty special woman,” Claire said.
Yes, she is, Josh thought, remembering how touched he’d been when she’d brought him hot cocoa on Veteran’s Day and made sure he got a special bowl of chili at dinner. His chest ached as he watched his father’s delight at her thoughtful gift.
“So what happened?” Claire asked. “How did you end up here?”
Josh told the bulk of the story, which included an admonishment to Bruce for not revealing how bad he felt leading up to the race.
“I knew you needed me,” Bruce said.
Claire’s sympathetic eyes fell on Josh. “It must have been heartbreaking to have to drop from the race.”
“Not at all,” Josh said. “I didn’t give it a moment’s thought.”
“Well, that’s saying something,” Jack said.
Josh’s eyes cut to Jack. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Figure it out.”
“He’s suggesting maybe racing’s not so important to you after all,” Maggie said. She crossed her arms in a See? kind of gesture, but a slight smile played at her lips.
Josh waited to feel a burst of indignation or defensiveness, but the emotions didn’t surface. He really didn’t care he’d had to drop from the race. He didn’t care how it would set back his training preparations. He realized he didn’t even care whether he ran the Iditarod or not. He still loved mushing—and had been relieved to get a text from Viktor earlier that morning that he’d gotten the dogs loaded onto the trailer and was headed back to the kennel—but the idea of the Iditarod seemed like a small thing in that moment.
“Just think what you could do with all the money you’d have if you stopped racing,” Maggie said, pressing on in light of Josh’s lack of pushback.
“I could put in a new bathtub,” Josh said.
Everyone laughed.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
The others looked at each other.
“It’s just a strange thing to say,” Bruce said. “Have you been secretly longing for a new bathtub?”
“I have, actually,” he said, looking at Claire. “You know, Claire—like the one you’ve got in Hayley’s place. It’s a thing of beauty. I love that bathtub.”
Claire’s eyes twinkled. “Maybe it’s not the bathtub you love.”
Josh knew she was right. It wasn’t the bathtub he loved.
It was Hayley.
29
Hayley arrived at her office Monday morning to find her inbox and her voicemail both full of messages about her “Bring Your Heart” campaign, along with a congratulatory email from Devotion.com about an initial spike in the upgraded subscription level. Even though Devotion’s soft launch had only run test ads for the campaign in the state of Idaho, it seemed there were plenty of female Idahoans looking for love—or, more specifically, hoping for a chance to find love with Josh Barnes.
Join the club, she thought. Before returning calls and answering emails, she got her small office ready for the day. This time of year, she always turned on a space heater near her feet. She had a tiny Christmas tree on her desk, and she lit the pine-scented candle next to it. She turned on the white string lights she’d hung along her walls and made herself a cup of peppermint tea. She looked around, satisfied. Her office was as cozy as an office could be.
As part of her protocol, she would have a short phone conversation with any woman who expressed interest in potentially moving to Golden Falls. The personal touch was what would set her model above all the others, plus moving to Alaska was a big ask, and women would need assurance they were likely to achieve their goal of meeting the man of their dreams. On Hayley’s end, she would facilitate things like securing a job, finding a place to live, and setting up the participant with a string of dates with proper suitors.
She dashed off a quick email to Allison Reiss at Devotion, enthusing about so much early interest, and then picked up the phone and started doing what she loved: talking to people about what they wanted from life and a romantic partner.
She was talking to Amber, a retail store manager from Boise, when the inevitable subject came up.
“So tell me more about Josh,” Amber said. “What’s he like in real life?”
“Oh, he’s great,” Hayley said, feeling conflicted about promoting Josh. “He’s very family-oriented. He owns his own house, has a stable job … there’s really nothing he can’t do.”
Except commit, she thought. But he’ll be ready one day, and when he is, I’ll be waiting for him.
As she thought it, there was a quick knock on her open office door.
Hayley looked up. The sizzling jolt that went through her body caused her to sit up straight.
In the doorway stood Josh, tall and handsome and wintery in a parka and scarf. In one hand he held a medium-sized gift bag.
She was vaguely aware of Amber speaking on the other end of the phone, but for a moment all Hayley could hear was a pleasant buzzing in her ears, like some giant, happy bell inside her had been rung.
She looked at Josh, with his smiling face and crackling intense eyes, the tanned lines of his face from a hard outdoor life, the shape of his broad shoulders, and she felt nothing but acceptance for exactly who he was.
And with that, a melting, softening wonderfulness.
She heard Amber say, “So, is he really as handsome as he looks on the website?”
Hayley laughed and waved Josh inside. “He’s definitely as handsome as he looks on the website. Probably more so.”
Grinning, Josh shook his head.
“And he’s sexy?”
Hayley looked Josh up and down before saying, “He’s definitely sexy.”
“So why is he still available?”
“Why is he available,” she repeated. “You’ve asked a very good question.”
Josh raised his eyebrows, curious to hear her answer. Her heart pounded as she pondered what to say.
“He hasn’t found the one he can’t live without,” she said.
“Hang up the phone,” Josh said. She gave him a questioning look, and he repeated, “Hang up the phone.”
“Excuse me, Amber. Can I call you back? I have a slight interruption on my end.”
Josh looked amused as she hung up the phone.
“Why did you make me hang up?” she asked.
“Because you’re not telling the truth,” he said. “I have found a woman I can’t live without. It’s you.”
Hayley sat behind her desk looking up at him without saying a word. Usually, Josh could tell what she was thinking, but not then. Her eyes reflected the deep forest green of her soft sweater, and their darker hue hid what she was feeling.
He paused to shut the door behind him, ignoring the curious looks from the others in the staffing agency office, and for good measure he closed the blinds on her interior window.
With the desk between them, he felt too far away for what he wanted to say. He took the spare office chair and moved it around the side of the desk so it was adjacent to hers. He set the gift bag on the desk, sat in the chair, and took her hands in his.
“I know you told me it’s over, but I’m here to change your mind,�
� he said. “I’ve been such an idiot, but I think I’ve finally wised up.”
He could hardly hear his own words over the pounding of his heart. Hayley smiled like she was one step ahead of him.
“Go on,” she said.
He shifted in his chair. “You know how everybody kind of has a set of beliefs about themselves that they don’t even know they have? Like some people believe they’re destined for greatness and others believe they don’t deserve anything good to ever happen to them?”
She nodded. “I believed nobody would ever even notice if I got lost.”
“Exactly,” he said. “And I believed I had to race the Iditarod because I owed it to the guys back in Afghanistan. The injured guys, the ones who might never walk again, and the guys who didn’t make it home at all.”
“How so?” she said.
“Out there, if I had the opportunity, I used to sit with them at the field hospital while we waited for their evacuation, and I’d tell them stories to help pass the time.” He’d never told anyone this before, and he felt vulnerable. He latched onto her eyes and the understanding he found in them encouraged him to continue. “To everyone who doesn’t live here, Alaska is this wild last frontier sort of place, and the Iditarod is, of course, the last great race on Earth. I’d tell them about how I used to help my neighbor train his sled dogs, and what it was like to be out there in the frozen tundra when it seemed like I was the only person left alive on Earth, and what a peaceful feeling it was. How to me, that was heaven, or what I imagined heaven was like.”
“You were trying to give them a sense of peace,” she said.
“Absolutely.”
Her eyes were steady on his. He could read her feelings again, and what he saw was his own soul reflected back. She was with him.
“When I’m out there racing on the trail, the guys are with me,” he continued. “That’s why I did it. I could feel them so acutely, all around me. It was how I honored them. That’s what I believed.”
She nodded, his beautiful, perfect, perceptive Hayley. “I get it.”
“And I could hear them sometimes. It was almost like a movie playing in my head. Me against the odds, struggling to stay in the race, and they’d push me on. Encourage me. Tell me I could do it. They’d tell me to persevere, tell me not to be a wuss.”
She smiled and squeezed his hands. “Josh, you’re the least wuss-like person I’ve ever met.”
“So this movie that’s been playing in my head for so long now had a different ending during this weekend’s race. This time, the guys weren’t encouraging me onward. Instead, they were telling me not to lose the one person who’s really made me feel alive. This time, they told me to go and get the girl.”
Hayley laughed. “I like these guys.”
He brushed a strand of hair off her shoulder. It was all he could do not to stroke her soft cheek and kiss her, but he couldn’t—not yet.
“Hayley, I’ve been lost for a long time, but I think I’ve found myself again, thanks to you. I know what I want now, and it’s love and marriage and maybe some kids. And I want it with you.”
“Josh!” Hayley’s eyes were hopeful, but she still shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re saying this.”
“Crazy, right?”
“Crazy,” she said, her eyes serious and struggling to make sense of the change.
“I know I messed up with you, but I was hoping you might be willing to give me a second chance,” he said.
She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she processed his words.
“You want a second chance,” she repeated.
“Well, not exactly,” he said. “I actually want forever.”
Her eyes sparkled with tears. She withdrew one of her hands and put it over her heart. “If you could feel how my heart’s beating …”
He took it as an invitation and put his hand over hers. Sure enough, he could feel her gentle heart racing.
“This is overwhelming, Josh. I was going to wait for you—I decided just this past weekend that I’d wait for you as long as it took.”
“You don’t have to wait at all. I’m ready.” He remembered the gift he’d brought her and handed her the bag. “Before you say anything else, open your gift.”
Hayley brushed back the tissue paper and withdrew a jar of luxury bubble bath, followed by a bottle of good red wine.
“Oh, yes,” she said. “This is the sweetest thing ever.”
“Here’s what I’m thinking,” he said. “I know you’re busy with your business and all the things you do for the community, and I’ve got my crazy shifts at work which keep me unavailable for days at a time, and it’s going to take awhile to figure out what I’m going to do with the dogs, so I think we need a ritual to bring us back together after we’ve been apart. A way for us to reconnect and catch up with each other and unwind together. Maybe light a few candles. Drink a little wine.”
She leaned forward and kissed him, threading her fingers his hair. As always, her touch comforted him and her kiss aroused him. It was soft, a prelude to her response.
“You’ll do anything to get me naked,” she said teasingly when she pulled back.
He laughed. “You know it. I’m going to be scheming how to get you naked for the rest of your life.”
“No scheming necessary.” She kissed him again, deeper, and her lips promised him a cascade of experiences with her, and he couldn’t wait. “You want me? You have me, Josh. It’s as simple as that.”
Josh wrapped her in his arms and remembered what his dad, a fellow insomniac, had told him. You can sleep at night with a good woman beside you. That’s how you know you’ve found the right one.
Hayley was the one.
This was the beginning, and she was his forever.
30
Hayley arrived at her office Monday morning to find her inbox and her voicemail both full of messages about her “Bring Your Heart” campaign, along with a congratulatory email from Devotion.com about an initial spike in the upgraded subscription level. Even though Devotion’s soft launch had only run test ads for the campaign in the state of Idaho, it seemed there were plenty of female Idahoans looking for love—or, more specifically, hoping for a chance to find love with Josh Barnes.
Join the club, she thought. Before returning calls and answering emails, she got her small office ready for the day. This time of year, she always turned on a space heater near her feet. She had a tiny Christmas tree on her desk, and she lit the pine-scented candle next to it. She turned on the white string lights she’d hung along her walls and made herself a cup of peppermint tea. She looked around, satisfied. Her office was as cozy as an office could be.
As part of her protocol, she would have a short phone conversation with any woman who expressed interest in potentially moving to Golden Falls. The personal touch was what would set her model above all the others, plus moving to Alaska was a big ask, and women would need assurance they were likely to achieve their goal of meeting the man of their dreams. On Hayley’s end, she would facilitate things like securing a job, finding a place to live, and setting up the participant with a string of dates with proper suitors.
She dashed off a quick email to Kayla Reiss at Devotion, enthusing about so much early interest, and then picked up the phone and started doing what she loved: talking to people about what they wanted from life and a romantic partner.
She was talking to Amber, a retail store manager from Boise, when the inevitable subject came up.
“So tell me more about Josh,” Amber said. “What’s he like in real life?”
“Oh, he’s great,” Hayley said, feeling conflicted about promoting Josh. “He’s very family-oriented. He owns his own house, has a stable job … there’s really nothing he can’t do.”
Except commit, she thought. But he’ll be ready one day, and when he is, I’ll be waiting for him.
As she thought it, there was a quick knock on her open office door.
Hayley looked up. The sizzling jolt that
went through her body caused her to sit up straight.
In the doorway stood Josh, tall and handsome and wintery in a parka and scarf. In one hand he held a medium-sized gift bag.
She was vaguely aware of Amber speaking on the other end of the phone, but for a moment all Hayley could hear was a pleasant buzzing in her ears, like some giant, happy bell inside her had been rung.
She looked at Josh, with his smiling face and crackling intense eyes, the tanned lines of his face from a hard outdoor life, the shape of his broad shoulders, and she felt nothing but acceptance for exactly who he was.
And with that, a melting, softening wonderfulness.
She heard Amber say, “So, is he really as handsome as he looks on the website?”
Hayley laughed and waved Josh inside. “He’s definitely as handsome as he looks on the website. Probably more so.”
Grinning, Josh shook his head.
“And he’s sexy?”
Hayley looked Josh up and down before saying, “He’s definitely sexy.”
“So why is he still available?”
“Why is he available,” she repeated. “You’ve asked a very good question.”
Josh raised his eyebrows, curious to hear her answer. Her heart pounded as she pondered what to say.
“He’s dated plenty of great women in his life, but he hasn’t found the one he can’t live without,” she said.
“Hang up the phone,” Josh said. She gave him a questioning look, and he repeated, “Hang up the phone.”
“Excuse me, Amber. Can I call you back? I have a slight interruption on my end.”
Josh looked amused as she hung up the phone.
“Why did you make me hang up?” she asked.
“Because you’re not telling the truth,” he said. “I have found a woman I can’t live without. It’s you.”
Hayley sat behind her desk looking up at him without saying a word. Usually, Josh could tell what she was thinking, but not then. Her hazel eyes were a deep forest green to match her soft sweater, and their darker hue hid what she was feeling.
He paused to shut the door behind him, ignoring the curious looks from the others in the staffing agency office, and for good measure he closed the blinds on her interior window.
Bring Your Heart (Golden Falls Fire Book 2) Page 25