“I know. He said I could come over any time I wanted. I needed to tonight.”
“Why?”
The question was loaded. A gun that I’d shoot myself with if I answered it.
“Doesn’t matter.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I think it does, Jacob. You’re upset. Do you want to talk about it?”
Since when was she offering a shoulder to cry on? She made a habit of ignoring me whenever I was around, especially when Charlie was nearby.
“We can talk about it,” she said and gestured back to her room. She took my hand and tugged on it lightly.
I let her pull me toward her bedroom. It was the first time I’d been in there, and I scanned the place. There were a few posters on her wall—one for Lord of the Rings, and the others were of bands I didn’t recognize. Her bed was made, a fluffy purple cushion tossed onto it haphazardly.
Chloe sat down on it and dragged that cushion into her lap. “Take a seat,” she said, nodding to the single swivel chair in front of her desk.
I sat down and waited. For what, I didn’t fucking know. The smell in here intoxicated me. It was the scent I caught a whiff of every time I passed her in a hallway. Eau de Chloe. Man, I was fucked being in here.
I’d promised Charlie I’d never get close to his sister.
Chloe tugged on the fluffy cushion’s ends. “Are you going to tell me what’s up?”
“We don’t have to talk about it.”
“Well, you’re here now, and you scared the crap out of me, so you owe me this much at least. We never talk,” she said.
“There’s a good reason for that, Chloe,” I said.
“What’s the reason?”
If she didn’t know, I wouldn’t tell her. I made to get up, but she shook her head. “Come on, Jacob. Let’s talk. I’ve been alone all day, and it sucks.”
“You don’t like being alone?”
“Not on my birthday.”
“What?”
“It’s my eighteenth birthday today,” she said. “Charlie was the only one who remembered, but he had the college thing to do, so it’s fine. I—yeah, that can be my present from you. Talk to me. Sit with me for a while. OK?”
It was temptation presented on a silver platter. “Sure. Yeah, OK.”
“So why did you come over tonight?”
If only it could have been to do this. To talk to her. “My parents. Apparently, divorce suits them. They’re working together now. Working together and fighting.”
“Fighting?”
“Yeah. Fighting. They told me I’ve got to attend Yale, or they’re going to kick me out of the house and disown me.”
“You don’t have the grades for it?”
“I did have the grades for it, but I also didn’t apply to Yale or any college for that matter. I’m not interested in studying.” I shrugged. “Just not my scene.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“It’s not about what I’m going to do. It’s about what I’ve already done. I don’t give a shit what they want,” I said, and now that I’d started, it was cathartic to talk about it, to get it out. “Fuck them. They did this, man, they pushed me away. They pushed each other away.”
Chloe didn’t say a word but paid rapt attention, tugging on the cushion ends, downright adorable.
“You ever see your parents fight?”
“Sometimes.”
“Well, when I was about seven years old, I heard them fighting. I eavesdropped on their conversation and heard my parents arguing about who got to keep me.” I laughed. “But not how you think. They were arguing against it. Like, my mom didn’t want me, and my father didn’t either. And then shit started being thrown, items broken. My dad came out of that with a black eye ’cause my mom clocked him.” I shook my head. “And now, they think that they have the right to tell me where I should go for college. Or what I should do.”
“That’s horrific.”
“Yeah, well, fuck them.” I’d seen far too much of their shit to believe they had anything in mind for me. “I figure this Yale ultimatum is a ploy by my parents to get rid of me. They know that I’m never going to get in there, not after a whole year of working at a hardware store. So, this is their way of getting rid of me for good.”
Chloe looked ready to rebut what I’d said, but she couldn’t find the reason. The people who traveled in the country club circles knew how bad my parents were with each other.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said.
“It’s nothing.” I got up and moved to leave the room—couldn’t take the pity on her face—but Chloe bounced up and joined me. She stepped into my path. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t want you to leave.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sure you don’t want to hear any of my other sob stories. My parents are assholes.”
“Sure they are, but we don’t have to talk about that, if you don’t want to.” She was inches from me, and I was keenly aware of how close her breasts were, and the fact that her nipples were hard.
“Then what do you want to talk about?” I took in her breasts. Fuck, it was difficult to concentrate like this.
I had to leave. I cleared my throat, shifted to one side, but she blocked me again.
Nobody blocked my path. I clamped my hands over her upper arms, then lifted her and set her down behind me. “There you—”
“You kissed me,” she said.
I had. I’d kissed her on her prom night, felt like ages ago, and it had been a mistake. I’d forced myself to forget it.
“I want to know why.”
“Seemed like a good way to cheer you up.”
“That’s it?” Chloe pursed her lips. “You just wanted to cheer me up?”
“Maybe.”
“God, that’s lame. I’m lame. I can’t believe how much I’ve been thinking about it, after all this time, and it was nothing but a thing you did.” She crossed her arms over her chest, flushing pink to match her pj’s. “Sorry. You didn’t need to hear that. Yeah, you can go now.”
“Chloe.” But what could I say without breaking the pact I’d formed with Charlie? “It wasn’t just because of that.”
“Then why? I know you don’t like me. You ignore me, or you get angry when I’m around. So, yeah, if I’m just a nuisance to you, why did you kiss me?”
“Because I wanted to. You’re beautiful. You’re…different.”
“Different? How?”
“Fuck, I don’t know, Chloe, you just are. You’re creative, you’ve got a nice walk, and you always smell amazing.” Had I actually said that shit? “And you sing like an angel.”
She gaped at me.
“What?”
“You think I sing well?”
“Of course,” I said. “You’re amazing at it.”
Tension stretched out between us, thick. She swallowed. “I’ve only kissed two guys, and you’re one of them.”
“Oh.”
“And the first guy was… I don’t think it counted as a real kiss.”
“OK.”
“I—Jacob, you’re…” Chloe trembled, drawing closer to me, so that her breasts brushed against my cotton T-shirt. “You’re—”
But she couldn’t find the word for it.
She didn’t need to.
The urges I’d been holding at bay for years now crashed over me, overwhelmed my sense of right and wrong. I brought my lips to hers. The kiss was soft at first, and then grew in intensity.
She moaned, dragged her fingers down my back and pinched at the fabric of my shirt. “Jacob,” she inhaled, sharply. “Jacob, I want you to be my first.”
“Your first what?”
“My first.” She laid emphasis on the “first.”
You can’t do this. You promised. It doesn’t matter how much you want her, or how long you’ve fantasized about her being yours. Your girlfriend. No.
“Please,” she whispered, her eyes watery now. “I don’t want to go away to college without losing my virginity. And I want it to be you.”
“Chloe.” My throat was clogged up. My dick was rock hard, pressing against the inside of my jeans. “Chloe.” But I couldn’t deny her outright. I’d always wanted this, always wanted to show her what she meant to me in some way, even if it was just physically.
“Please.” And she pressed her hands to my cheeks, kissed my lips gently. “Make love to me.”
Thirty-One
Chloe
The dress still fit.
I would only really start showing around six months, and that was still a ways away. The morning sickness hadn’t abated though, and I could smell a wet dog from a mile off, but at least it wasn’t obvious.
I checked my reflection in the mirror in the tiny bathroom of the church, then exhaled slowly. “You’ve got this,” I whispered. “Today is the big day. All you have to do is get through the wedding, and then after the reception, you can pull him aside and tell him. He doesn’t even have to want to talk to you.”
But what if Jacob refused outright? What if, and god, this was a mortifying thought, what if he mistakenly believed that I wanted to talk because I was desperate to date him?
Cringe. Kill me now.
A knock rat-tatted against the bathroom door. “Chloe?” It was one of the bridesmaids, Pamela. She was one of the sweetest ones. “Chloe, are you done in there? I don’t mean to interrupt, but the service is about to start, and I am one-hundred percent going to pee my French lace panties if I don’t go right now.”
“Just a sec.” I clipped my handbag closed. I’d made cue cards. It was ridiculous, but I’d hoped they would help me broach the topic with Jacob, easily. Now, it was obvious that broaching the pregnancy thing would never be easy.
“Seriously,” Pamela wailed. “I’m going to pee!”
I hurried to the door and let her in. She rushed past me, huffing and tugging her dusty rose-colored bridesmaid’s dress up, then slammed into the stall. There was a beat, and then the rush of liquid followed by a shuddering sigh. “Oh my god, that’s good. I shouldn’t have had the extra champagne at the pre-party.”
“There was a pre-party?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah, for all the bridesmaids. Trisha hosted it at her place.”
“Oh. Right. I totally got an invite for that,” I said, but I didn’t care. Trisha was a heinous bitch, and I had more pressing matters to attend to.
I slipped out of the bathroom and walked down the carpeted hall that led to the foyer of the church. The doors that separated the church’s sanctuary from the entrance were shut, but the hum of expectant chatter traveled through them.
Everyone was ready for the wedding. Everyone was excited. Everyone was curious about the five bodyguards that had been positioned at various spots around the church, both inside and outside. Charlie wasn’t taking any chances this time around.
And this time around, the bridesmaids and groomsmen had to walk up the aisles together. Which meant I would be paired with Jacob. Holding onto his arm. Knowing that I couldn’t exactly stop in the middle of the aisle and tell him, “Oh hey, by the way, I’m pregnant! Surprise! Welcome back from wherever you disappeared off to for the past week.”
“Everyone, ready?” The wedding organizer paced between the bridesmaids and groomsmen. “Everyone have their places? Addy, are you ready?”
“I’m so ready,” Addy called out. “You have no idea how ready I am to be married.”
Everyone tittered a laugh, an inside joke after the last wedding.
“Good. Mr. Lee, take your place here. On your marks, people.”
I took my place in front of Addy and Mr. Lee in the line, but Jacob wasn’t at my side. My nerves went into overdrive. What if he didn’t come? What if I could never track him down again, and I’d have to raise my baby and tell him or her that their father had simply disappeared? What if—?
“Hey there,” Jacob said next to me.
His voice was a shock to all my systems, central nervous included. I blinked, swallowed, nearly threw up in my mouth. Finally, I nodded. “Hello.”
Jacob was as handsome as ever. He’d styled his dark hair to one side, his suit was freshly pressed, and he was well-rested, clean-shaven. His citrusy cologne drifted on the air. He offered me an arm. “Guess we’re partners for this next part.”
“Uh-huh.” I took it and prayed that nothing had shown on my face. That he couldn’t detect my pregnancy from a glance alone. What would he think? Was it too late to bail out on this whole wedding? If I threw up on his shoes, would that give the game away?
You can do this. Just get through the wedding, and then you can tell him the truth.
“How have you been?” he asked.
That was a loaded friggin’ question. “Fine. You?”
“Fine.”
I couldn’t help that I sounded angry. It was the only method I had of dealing with this. Once I’d told him, things would change. I’d be less pissed and more willing to talk. But would he be? What if he decided I was a liar, or that I’d tricked him into the pregnancy? He clearly despised me again. He wasn’t warm at all.
The music started up. “That’s our cue,” Jacob said.
“Right, yeah.”
We waited our turn, then set off through the doors and down the aisle. Every step and pause was painful. I kept a forced smile on my face and scanned the crowds, picking out members of Addy’s family and of ours, to keep from acknowledging the warmth of Jacob’s body against mine.
We reached the front, and I slipped free and took my place on the step just below the one where Addy and Charlie would be married. My big brother gave me an ecstatic grin, and I returned it, cheeks hurting now.
It will be all right.
But Charlie would find out too. He’d know that Jacob and I had… Mortifying. Absolutely mortifying. I wasn’t a teenager anymore, but it still bit at me. Charlie would be crushed. He’d blame Jacob. In all likelihood, it would ruin their friendship.
But it wasn’t up to me to manage Charlie’s reactions or his friendship with Jacob. It was up to me to care for my baby and do what was best for him or her. That included telling the father.
The thoughts wound through my head as Addy walked up the aisle, drawing gasps and tears from the crowd.
Charlie collected her from her father then guided her up to stand in front of the reverend, and they were off. Charlie and Addy were saying their vows, weeping in front of each other. It was magical, and I did my best to focus on the ceremony, on these two people who had so desperately wanted to be together for years.
I avoided Jacob’s eyes.
Finally, after what had to have been an eternity, the service was over. Charlie and Addy kissed, and everyone cheered and walked them out to their car. There was the rice, the laughter, the kisses and hugs, and then they swept off in a limo, headed toward the reception at the hotel Radisson.
I exhaled and leaned against the church door, watching as folks in their best milled around outside the church or headed for their cars.
A familiar face stood out in the crowd, and my gut wrenched. What the fuck.
The man I’d spotted wore a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. He was tall and muscular, with blond hair and bright blue eyes, a jawline that was incredibly strong and a smile that was oh so Chad. Except he wasn’t named Chad.
It was Ned. My ex.
“What the hell?” I murmured. “Ned?”
He spotted me and waved then walked up the steps, towering as he’d loved to do during our relationship. “There you are, Chloe.”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked, too loudly.
A few of the wedding guests gave me scandalized looks. Today probably wasn’t the day for massive blowouts in front of the church.
“I came to see you,” Ned replied, flashing me another overtly charming grin.
He was so fucking disingenuous, it was a miracle it had taken me so long to realize it. Thank god, he’s not the father of your child.
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” Ne
d countered and tried to take my hand. I snatched it out of his grasp. “Come on, Chloe, we didn’t exactly end things on great terms. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for weeks, but you don’t pick up the phone when I call.”
“That’s because I don’t want to talk to you,” I said. “How did you find me here?”
“Oh, come on, everyone knows Charlie’s getting married. It doesn’t take a detective to find the right church.” Ned tried to grab hold of my hand again. I considered slapping him, but took a step back instead, toward the open doors.
It would take a splash of holy water and a crucifix to banish this particular demon.
“I just want to talk, Chloe,” Ned said. “I wanted to talk about your future as a musician.”
“I’m guessing that means you can’t find another woman to rip off? What’s the matter, Ned? Your shitty EDM music not doing as well now that you don’t have the right vocals for it?” The vitriol was fucking on tap when it came to this guy. He was a thief, and I was hormonal. “Asshole. What made you think you could come here today?”
Ned raised an eyebrow. “Someone grew a backbone.”
“Yeah, being stolen from will do that to a person. Why don’t you get lost?”
“Stop being a bitch, Chloe. We can work this out. I’ll even credit you on the track if you work with me on another one. Think about it, the money we could earn.” I’d heard it all. The encouraging talk, the falsehoods. Difference was, this time I wasn’t about to fall for it like an idiot.
“Fuck off,” I said.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Ned advanced, but pulled up short, eyes widening, darting to a point beyond me.
“What’s going on here?” Jacob asked, at my back.
Thirty-Two
Jacob
He was a tall dude, but not nearly as tall as me.
Is this the guy she’s dating?
“Chloe?” I scowled at the blond guy who’d been stalking toward her like she was a fucking gazelle, he the hyena. “Who is this guy?”
“This is Ned,” Chloe replied roughly. “My ex.”
My insides went absolutely fucking nuts. My stomach twisted, my muscles hardened, my jaw clenched. Jealousy ripped through me, so strong that I couldn’t think straight. My only directive was to reach out and grab this guy by the throat, wring it until he couldn’t talk anymore.
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