by BJ Sheldon
“I can’t help it. I can’t control it. Not like you guys,” I said.
“You need to learn.” Dorian grabbed the blanket I’d folded earlier and shook it out, allowing it to float to the ground below. Following a gesture of his hand, I lay down on my back onto the blanket and assumed my normal meditation position. “Close your eyes.”
I complied.
“Now empty your mind and quiet your thoughts. Forget everything for the moment.”
My head was a jumble of flashbacks and information. How I felt about Dorian. Finding out about Azazel and my mother. Sean, Sam, and the impending battle. I couldn’t stop the flow of thoughts inside my mind.
I shook my head.
“I can’t.”
“You have to. Sean and Sam’s lives are counting on it.” I felt Dorian’s hand on my chest above my heart. His touch was instantly soothing.
I breathed in slowly and let it out. I made a conscious effort to clear my thoughts. I pushed it all away and concentrated on nothing. My breathing continued to even out, slowing down my heart rate.
My mind cleared, and I felt myself relaxing.
“Now that you’ve cleared your thoughts, visualize yourself in an empty room with a door in front of you. Have you got it?” he asked.
I pictured a small room with four white walls. The door was also white and was a few feet from where I stood.
I nodded, answering his question.
“Open it.”
I mentally took a step and reached for the doorknob, turned it, and allowed it to swing open.
“Do you see them? There are Hybrids there, hundreds of them.”
“I see them.”
“Now shut the door and lock it.”
I closed it and turned the padlock.
“Now open your eyes.”
I opened my eyes and sat up.
“That’s it?” I asked. “There’s no way that worked.”
Dorian sighed heavily.
“Being able to keep people out of your head is simple. The difference for you all these years is that you didn’t have anyone to show you and tell you what you needed to do. I just happened to make it simple for you. Visualizing a closed door with everyone else on the other side is an easy way for Hybrids to learn to control the information that flows back and forth.”
“Thanks,” I said. I pushed up off the ground and found myself staring directly into Dorian’s eyes.
“No problem. Besides, I had an ulterior motive.” Dorian gently moved a strand of hair out of my face.
“You did?” I asked, my heart beating faster at his touch.
“With Lillith out of your head, she can’t read your mind when I do this.”
Dorian placed his hand on my cheek. His lips met mine. My head started to spin, and my breathing quickened.
He was right. It was a good thing his sister couldn’t hear my thoughts, because if I was on the outside looking in, they would have made me blush.
Dorian pulled away and glanced over at his sister while I struggled to catch my breath.
Lillith glared at us both.
“Her thoughts may have been closed, but if you do that again while I’m around, I swear I’m going to hurl.” Lillith spun around and stormed off.
Dorian chuckled quietly to himself as she walked away.
My fingers touched my lips. I could still taste his mouth on mine.
He turned his attention back to me, and his expression quickly changed.
“Sorry. That was impetuous. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, trying to look anywhere but directly at me.
“I’m good with anything that pisses off your sister,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “Especially that.”
Chapter 12
We’d lost a lot of daylight by starting so late, but after the events that had unfolded, we all needed some time to decompress. Sean and Sam had gotten back from town, and we headed off together.
Dorian, Lillith, and I were all uncharacteristically quiet on the way to the burial site. No one said anything. Occasionally, one of us would clear our throats, but that was about it. Lillith didn’t even complain when her boots became waterlogged crossing the river again. We needed to keep the revelation of the spear a secret in order to protect the humans in our group, but I could see Sam and Sean glance at each other periodically as if trying to figure out what the deal was.
We finally arrived, and I watched Dorian look up at the sun.
“We’ve only got about three hours before we need to head back,” he said.
Everyone nodded and grabbed a shovel.
Dirt flew in all directions. A few times, it seemed to fly directly at the other participants on purpose, and it was usually caused by our mortal companions trying to stir up trouble. A couple of hours later, everyone’s progress began to slow as the heat of the day took its toll.
I took a moment to rest and straighten up, arching my back to stretch my muscles. My hand came to rest on the hilt of the sword hanging from my belt. Now that I knew what it was and where it had come from, I was extremely conscious of its presence. My eyes glanced up, and I could see by the position of the sun that our time at the site was nearly over.
And then I heard a loud clink coming from a few feet away.
“Hey guys. I think I got somethin’.” Sam waved us over. Tossing his shovel to the side, he dropped to his knees to get a closer look.
We stared down at what Sam had uncovered. It didn’t look like much at first, but upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a piece of bone peeking out from beneath the dirt.
We froze.
Had we really found them?
I watched Dorian’s face change. The site almost seemed to vibrate with an unseen energy at the discovery of something that could be life-altering.
Dorian grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt and lifted it, pulling it high up over his head, tossing it aside. His pale skin shone with sweat as droplets dripped down the crevices of his abs. For a moment, my breathing ceased at the sight of his shirtless form. He was a god himself—perfect.
Not the time or place, idiot, I said to myself.
His expression grew fierce, and he dropped to his knees next to Sam. Together, they used their hands to remove any excess dirt from the item in question.
At first, we didn’t really see anything except something gray peeking out from under the dirt. But as the pair continued to dig with their hands, more and more began to be revealed. Eventually, a giant bone was uncovered.
And it was massive.
It looked to be a femur.
The discovery strengthened their resolve, and the two of them began to dig faster.
Sean, sensing the urgency, dropped to his knees as well and joined in to hurry up the process. Soon, another bone was revealed. And then another and another.
An hour and a half later, we all stood staring into the hole we’d dug, at the nightmare we’d just uncovered. The skeleton appeared to be fifteen feet tall. Its proportions were enormous. Arms, legs, torso. The skull alone could have fit over my own head like a giant helmet.
But it was the skeletal wings attached to its shoulder blades that sent my blood running cold. My arms hung heavy at my sides—I was terrified at the site of my ancestors.
“So,” said Lillith. “They’re here.”
“They’re here.” Dorian stood with his arms draped around the shovel that rested on the back of his neck. His face was riddled with extreme apprehension about the find.
Everyone stood, silently allowing it all to sink in. We’d just discovered the trapped bones of the Fallen. Only my blood could wake them, and my sword was the only thing that could free them from the earth. It was difficult to fully appreciate my role in all of it, to say the least.
The fate of the world rested squarely on my shoulders. It was a responsibility that I suddenly wasn’t sure I could handle.
“Now what?” I asked, my voice noticeably shaking.
I watched Sean walk a few feet away and pick some
thing up. He marched back to the hole and jumped in, hammer in hand. In an effort to destroy that particular Fallen Watcher, he proceeded to slam it down repeatedly on the skull, trying to shatter it with each blow. But each time the nose of the hammer came down, the damage was nonexistent. There were no breaks, no scratches, and no cracks.
The bones were unbreakable.
Sean finally stopped and tossed the hammer off to the side.
“It was worth a shot,” he said. He looked up at Dorian and waited for instruction.
“We bury it again and guard this site with our lives.” Dorian jumped into the hole with a shovel in hand and began singlehandedly moving dirt back over the bones. Sam and Sean hesitated, but then quickly joined him, making quick work of it.
I backed away from the site. Panic rose in my chest. It all became far too real. My head shook with utter denial as I suddenly felt the urge to get away.
Sean looked over and seemed to catch the fear in my eyes. He dropped his shovel and climbed out of the hole.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” he asked, rushing over to me.
“I can’t. I can’t do this. What if they get the spear? What if they capture me? What if they capture you? This is too much. Too much responsibility. I’m just a girl with wings. I’m not special. This can’t be happening.” I felt as if I couldn’t breathe.
“Stop,” he said as he grabbed my shoulders.
“Why can’t it go back to the way it was? Why can’t I just go back to my studio and paint? Why can’t we go back to bugging the hell out of each other and pretending we get on one another’s nerves? I’d even be willing to sit and watch you play one of those stupid zombie video games you love so much. Can’t we just forget about all of this? Can’t we just go home?”
Sean took a step closer and looked deep into my eyes, which had begun to well up with tears.
“No. There’s no going back. It is what it is. This was set in motion centuries ago, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. You need to pull yourself together. We need you. The world needs you.”
“That’s what I mean. It’s too much responsibility. I’m nobody. I’m no hero. I’ve never been a hero. My entire life’s been a selfish one, keeping out of sight and away from humanity so I could live my endless days alone. And now I have to save the exact people I’ve been hiding from? Do you see the irony in that?”
I took a step back and turned around.
“I’m sorry,” I said. My wings stretched out from behind me as I prepared to leap into the air and fly away in an attempt to escape my fate.
“Wait!” Dorian shouted.
I froze at the sound of his voice.
He found his way to my side and took my hand.
“Walk with me,” he said, gently tugging on my arm.
“Dorian, I—”
“Walk with me.” I looked up and saw the gentleness on his face. “Come on.”
Reluctantly, I followed. I glanced back and saw Sean wave. I forced a grin for his benefit.
Dorian led me away. We remained silent until we were out of view from the others. Then, he stopped suddenly and turned to face me.
“I know you’re scared,” he began.
“Who’s scared? I’m not scared—I’m terrified! It’s me and the sword they want; this whole thing and its outcome hinges on me. That’s too much for anyone to comprehend, even some freak with wings.”
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop calling yourself that.”
“What? A freak?”
Dorian stared me down, not amused with my style of self-deprecation.
“You can’t run away. I know this isn’t what you had planned. But we don’t choose our destinies,” said Dorian.
“The hell we don’t!” I shouted. “My path in life isn’t set in stone. It’s not fate that I was born with wings. It was a stranger hooking up with my mother, a Hybrid, that caused me to grow these monstrosities. There’s more to me than just some so-called destiny. I call the shots. Me. If I don’t enter into this war, there is no destiny. I’ve changed history.”
Dorian listened intently to the words I spoke. He grew silent for a moment, seemingly gathering his thoughts.
“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry, Skyy. I’m sorry that you were left alone as a little girl. I’m sorry that your wings caused you to stay cut off from the mortal world. I’m sorry that you’ve never been able to fully experience what love is or had a chance at a normal life. But you can’t leave. You can’t abandon the human race. You can’t just walk away from this responsibility.”
“And why not?” I asked.
“Because we need you.” He took a step closer and lowered his gaze. “I need you.”
“It’s all too much for me,” I whispered. “What if I fail?”
“What if you don’t?” Dorian placed his hand on my cheek, sending a shiver down my spine. His touch made me crazy. I’d never felt like that before. “You’re not alone. You obviously have Sean who has balls the size of coconuts. There’s Sam, Lillith, and you have me.”
Emotion welled up in my eyes.
“But I won’t always have Sean or you. Even if we succeed and we save the mortals, in the end I’ll just end up alone. Sean will age and die. And you and Lillith. Your time is coming to an end. Where does that leave me? A lonely hero who’ll never know death? I’d rather die.”
“I get that you’re lonely. I do. But the situation we’re facing right now, right at this moment, calls for selflessness. And you’re more than just a girl with wings. I happen to think you’re amazing.”
“You hardly know me,” I said, turning my back on him.
“I know you better than you realize. My visions about you don’t just go back months. They go back decades. I’ve been watching you for years…” Dorian’s voice trailed off.
I spun around, unsure how to react.
“Years?”
“I can’t control who or what I see. I never truly knew who you were or who you were meant to be. I remember thinking: this girl is beautiful, but her face is always so sad. I watched you do things when you thought no one was looking. The time you scared off a couple of drunks from using a dog as target practice. You rescued some baby birds that fell from their nests, fed stray cats on your property, and redirected mule deer when you realized they were about to cross a dark road strewn with semis. You have a love for the nature around you and the creatures that exist in it. Are the mortals so different?”
“Do you know what they’d do to me if they discovered I was here? Co-existing in their world?”
“Probably. But not all of them are like that. There are many out there just like you. Different. Lonely. Wouldn’t you rather be their savior instead of their accuser? They’re counting on you.”
“They don’t even know I exist,” I said.
“But I do.” Dorian leaned in and kissed my cheek gently and rested his forehead on mine. “You’re already a hero, Skyy. I know that. Sean knows that. Now it’s time for you to realize it.”
“But what if I can’t stop it?”
“Stop thinking like that.” Dorian swept a strand of hair out of my eyes. “You’re afraid. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s your brain telling you that you’re not stupid.”
I tried to smile at his attempt of humor.
“But, you need to think about Sean. If you don’t at least try, he’s not going to grow old and find some nerdy chick, make some nerdy babies, and live nerdily ever after. His life would already be forfeit. Could you really do that to him?”
He had a point.
“What about you?” I asked.
“What about me?”
“What’s in this for you? You said your time here on Earth was ending soon. Why do you care about what happens?”
He smiled. “For most of my life, I watched you in my visions, wanting to meet you. You were someone I needed to know. I became obsessed with finding out who you were. And when I discovered who you we
re and what you were destined for, I wondered why I’d been given the ability to watch you all those years. You were this amazing girl, beautiful with large wings, who could take on the world but instead decided to live a humble life in the middle of nowhere. You had attitude and a serious chip on your shoulder, but you also cared about what mattered most. And the more I watched you, the more I fell. The more I wanted to be near you, hold you. I care what happens because whatever happens will happen to you. And I care about you.”
I swallowed hard.
“You should have found me sooner,” I whispered, fighting back the tears.
Dorian put his hand out, and I took it. He slowly led me back to the burial site, and together we joined in with the group to cover up all the evidence proving we’d uncovered one of the Fallen.
* * * *
We finished long after the sun had set.
“Someone should stay and guard this,” said Sam.
“I’ll do it,” I said.
“I’ll stay with you,” Sean chimed in.
“No. It would be safer if I stayed,” said Dorian.
“Oh for the love of Pete,” barked Lillith. She pointed at Sean. “You’re just a mortal.” Lillith then directed her anger toward her sibling. “And you, my heroic brother, need to keep it in your pants and take these two humans back to camp before the boogie man jumps you in the dark. I’m staying.”
“This oughta be fun,” I muttered under my breath.
“I heard that,” Lillith snapped.
“You were meant to.”
Dorian coughed loudly in a vain attempt to hide his laughter.
“All right guys. Let’s leave the fate of the world to these two and hope they don’t kill each other before we manage to kill the bad guys.” Sean and Sam both laughed as they wandered away to wait for Dorian near the path.
“You’re not nearly as cute as you think you are,” I said.
“Yes I am.” Dorian winked. “You sure you’re going to be okay with her? She can be a real bitch,” he said, tilting his head in his sister’s direction.
“I heard that,” said Lillith.
“You were meant to.” Dorian tossed up a quick wave in my direction and said, “We’ll be back after sunrise.” He herded the boys up the path back toward camp, leaving me alone with his sister.