Holland walked to her and pulled Lena into a long embrace. “I’ll be here for you. Now that I have seen that, I can take anything.”
She beamed to Holland. Lena needed someone accepting. I wasn’t the one Lena wanted to be accepting of her.
“Is anyone hungry?” Lena called from behind Holland. Holland shook her head fast, and Lena snickered.
Gabe spoke up. “Lena, how about we all sit and talk a little, and if we get hungry, we can eat. It smells wonderful.” He searched our faces and turned to walk toward the kitchen. We all followed. I spoke up.
“Eat man, I don’t want to, but you can. It might make me hungry,” I told him, and Gabe eagerly grabbed a bowl and dug into the chicken pie, obviously unaffected by the turn of events. He sat and let out a sigh when he tried it.
“Okay let’s talk,” Holland said in a tired way to Gabe.
“Well,” Gabe began as he took another bite. “It’s going to be hard to fix you. The hospital inserted the disease inside you. That’s how you contracted it to begin with.”
“The hospital?” Lena asked silently. “That can’t be.”
Gabe threw up a hand to silence her. “Holland, Jared and I are going to do everything we can to get the disease out of you before we have to do something drastic or before this gets any worse,” he said indifferently.
Lena gave all her attention, but her eyes widened in fear. “Am I going to die?”
We all stopped in place, and Gabe slowly put down his food. He got up and kneeled to Lena. He took her hands. Obviously taking up on his proposition to win her over. “I will do everything I can to make you better. We all will. You are apart of our little family now. You will have to bear with me and let me try all these things. I will not let them take you away.” I was in shock. I felt frustration build up inside me. He heard how Holland said I cared for her. I knew he had even if she talked quietly.
She smiled, and I saw her eyes were beginning to look glassy. “Who would take me away?” she asked reluctantly.
Gabe looked slowly to me, and I nodded. Lena searched my face before she turned back to Gabe. “Lena, they will take you and take full control of your mind.” She looked shocked, but her face fell.
“How would they do that, Gabe?”
Holland spoke up this time. “We aren’t sure yet, but we have theories about this cure that they’re giving out. I think, no, we think, they will insert a robotic arm into you that soon spreads to your brain and takes over your mind. I believe that—” Gabe cut her off quickly with a look, and she stopped speaking abruptly.
Lena burst into tears, and Holland sauntered to her. I stayed seated because I was afraid as well. I couldn’t let her see me upset. She might see that I had feelings for her, and what good would that be for either of us? “We won’t let it get there,” Holland reassured Lena.
“How do you know?” Lena asked through her tears.
“We don’t know that, but we won’t do it unless it’s your last breath,” Holland told her.
“What if I would rather die?” she asked calmly.
“Gabe believes there is a way to bring them back. Bring the robo—” She stopped again when she looked at Gabe. “Bring the people back to their human ways. So if it came down to it, we would try to find a way to bring you back,” Holland explained to Lena.
“But what if you can’t bring me back?” she enquired delicately, and I got up this time.
“Lena, we are going to do absolutely everything we can. We can make this better if you let us do whatever it takes.” Lena looked to me, but her eyes were searching and distant. Maybe I insulted her one too many times. I felt angry with myself for taking all my anger out on her.
She didn’t respond, but looked to Gabe. “When do we start?”
Gabe smiled to Holland and I. I just nodded curtly. Holland quickly met my gaze, and I could see myself in her face. Fear.
Chapter Fourteen: When is Enough, Enough for you?
LENA AND HOLLAND cleaned the kitchen, and I sat across from Gabe. He continued to stare me down as I chewed slowly on the cake Lena made for us. His gaze hadn’t left my face yet, so I felt a little aggravated.
“Something to say, Gabe?” I asked irritably. Holland glanced back, and she had the same intrigued look on her face that Gabe had. What was up? Lena was busy cleaning and didn’t seem to notice the tension.
“You knew what was going to happen, didn’t you?” Gabe asked accusingly. “You knew what was going to happen to the world and you didn’t do a damn thing.” Gabe was shaking with anger, and I felt myself getting pissed. Lena was in the room with us. She could hear him.
“We can take this out to another room. I’m not discussing this here.” My gaze swept over to Lena, and his followed mine. Why did he want to talk about this all of a sudden?
“How’d you know? Was it her dad or someone else who told you?” He was very careful not to mention who I didn’t want him to, but he was still provoking me. He wanted to make me look like the bad guy in front of Lena. “Jared, be honest with us. We’ve been investing a lot of time, trying to figure this out and you knew the answers all along. That is such bullshit. How can we trust you when you do this?”
That was it. I slammed my fist hard onto the table, and that was when Lena turned to watch. “Shut the hell up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I got up and slammed the seat into the table. I walked out of the room, and I felt three pairs of eyes on me.
I was getting so livid with Gabe lately. He just knew how to make me furious, and made me feel helpless whenever he accused me of things. I couldn’t help what I knew, and I certainly couldn’t help that I had feelings for the girl with all the answers.
I heard hushed whispers, but I went to my room and slammed the door, locking it behind me. There was a brisk knock. I didn’t open it. The door opened anyway and Holland walked in freely.
“Jared, we need to talk,” Holland said quietly.
“How did you get in?” I asked irritated.
“I designed the doors, remember?” Holland retorted quickly.
“What are we talking about that is so important that you have to barge in?” Holland’s eyes blazed, and her face turned a dark pink in frustration. I gave her my full attention. “Okay. What?”
“You need to tell her, no, you must tell her. How can she trust you when you have a lie hanging over your head?”
“Holland, I can’t. I already told Gabe. She won’t trust me. Don’t you and Gabe share a brain? You should’ve known that already.” Her face fell, but quickly recovered.
“Yes, she’ll trust you even less if you don’t tell her now. If she finds out in a different way other than you, that will just make things worse. Gabe might be telling her as we speak. I wouldn’t put it past him, Jared. And you don’t need to take your anger out on me. I didn’t do anything.”
“Holland, I understand the severity of the situation, but I don’t want to lose the little trust we have so far. And if Gabe tells her, then I will kick him out. This is my house, remember? I built this with my mother before you two came along.” Holland just stood in place as her eyes looked blank and unchanging, not pitying me and not wanting to pity me.
“Kick me out too then. He goes, I go.” I looked on in disbelief. I didn’t want to lose both my friends.
“Holland, never mind. I just hope he isn’t telling her.” I shook my head. Holland put too much trust in Gabe.
She didn’t seem fazed by what I said so she continued. “Jar. If she is someone you care about, and I sense that you do care for her, then you need to start off with honesty. With honest intentions.” She walked slowly over. “You will lose her. She is dying, and she is dying fast. She’ll have to be sent to them if we don’t get this together now. If we don’t join forces, she is going to die. You’ll lose her that way. Wouldn’t you rather save her and have her hate you than lose her for good?”
“You’re right.” I paused and stared around the room. It was really beautiful how Holla
nd fixed it. My mother began designing the house, but died before she could fix up one room. Holland fixed all of the rooms with my mother’s drawn-up plans and added her own flare to it. I never told Lena about my family, and she never asked. Maybe if she hadn’t gotten sick at the dinner table, she would have asked me. The room was lightly dimmed because the working lamp was burning out that sat in the corner. I didn’t like that there weren’t any windows, but we were underground so it couldn’t be helped. The blank picture frame that every room held was like a window for me. Holland was a smart girl when it came to all of this. “I will have to tell her. But I will tell her at the right time.”
“Why not now?” she asked suspiciously. Her eyes squinted as if she were thinking hard.
“I don’t want her to stop looking at me the same way. Even when she doesn’t like me, she has a glow when she looks at me. Can’t you understand that? I want to fix her. In every way.” I surprised myself with my honesty. Holland just stood there, shaking her head.
“It is up to you, but if I were her, I would want to know. It would be easier to forgive you. Just think about it. Come out when you’re ready.” She turned to leave and locked the door as she entered the hallway.
I watched the door to make sure no one else wanted to come in and slowly opened the picture frame. I was sure they didn’t forget that I made this house, too. I opened the safe hidden behind the empty frame and inside sat the picture of my seven-year-old self with my father. God knew I missed him. I wished he was the same man, but he wasn’t. I could fake it and be his friend so I could save Lena. But I didn’t think I could stomach it. He was a liar and a murderer. It could never be the same with him, and he knew it. I had to find a way to make him not take Lena, though.
I couldn’t tell her, but I guess she had a right to know. She had a right to know that she could be murdered at any moment or taken over.
There was a soft rasp. I shut the frame and opened the door. Lena stood with a smug look on her face. “Come in,” I told her. Her hands were placed behind her back as she stood on her heels.
“Holland told me to come talk to you. What’s going on?” I guess Holland decided to take matters in her own hands. I moved out of the way to let her inside. “It’s a long story, so I would sit down. Before I tell you, I want you to know that I wanted to tell you about it, but I didn’t trust you yet. Not like I do now. I know you don’t trust me, and I understand that. I haven’t been the nicest person.”
She looked afraid, but nodded in agreement. She was forgiving and understanding even if it meant something bad for her. I continued, “Well, I know exactly what is going on with these people. I’ve known all along.” She looked hurt. I told her the one piece of information that I kept locked inside me. “I know this because my father is the man in charge.”
Chapter Fifteen: I Wonder If She’ll Ever Look At Me The Same
SHE DIDN’T LOOK at me for about ten minutes. I sat in silence. I could tell she felt betrayed because her eyes watered up as if she would cry. She always made a strange sound to calm herself. She repeatedly grabbed the necklace around her neck. It was something she often did, and I wondered of its significance to her. “Please go on,” she told me finally.
“I’m not with my dad. I do not work for him or with him. I know I should have told you sooner. I really don’t know why I tried to keep it from you. I thought it was the only way to keep you safe.” I hesitated and tried my best to not look at the bandage over her head. She seemed to notice because she reached up slowly and shaded her forehead.
I wanted to tell her not to cry, but she did. She pulled slowly so the bandage was off. There was no way to explain it other than being devastating. Even when she was like this, her eyes still shined hazel under the black mass on her forehead. The right eye, where the cut was rotting the most, was turning a gray color. The thing was, you could see inside her head now. It was black and there was dried up blood on the outside of the hole. She was literally rotting from the inside out. Her arm was doing the same thing, but instead of a hole, there was just black growing along her skin all the way to her shoulder. I was afraid if I touched her that her forearm would just fall off. It was as if her body was decaying after death.
They were destroying bodies until they had nothing else to do but go back to the hospital. Even if you knew where the disease came from like Lena knew now. The difference between the others and us was that we were going to fight. We were going to make sure that she had her body and full control of her mind. I wasn’t going to give her up without a fight.
“Lena, do you feel terrible or do you just not feel this?”
“It feels like someone is inside me, slowly destroying me. It’s most painful at night. I have dreams about weird things. I throw up blood so much, and sometimes it comes out black, which is nasty. I’m sorry if I gross you out. This is the most pain I’ve been in, in my entire life. Sometimes the air feels toxic to me, and I want to stop breathing. It hurts my lungs, and I can just feel myself dying. My heart stops beating sometimes, but I don’t die. And it hurts to shower. Each time I do, the hole in my head gets blacker. It is so disgusting. Why did my mom and dad die? My dad died to protect me from the disease. Look where I am now. I feel helpless and useless. I want to protect you, Gabe and Holland from this. I think if I died then it would be okay. You guys could stay here and be safe.” She looked away from me, tears trickling down from her eyes.
“Lena, I want to tell you something, and I don’t want you to let it make you feel differently about the situation,” I said sincerely. My heart was beating in my chest. My ears began to buzz.
“Okay,” she said as tears fell lightly.
I grabbed her face and turned it to mine. We were so close to each other, I could feel each breath she took. “You make me forget my troubles. You make me feel alive. I have come to really care for you.” I hesitated, searching her face for any fear. She smiled encouragingly, and I continued, “That’s why I don’t want anything to happen to you. That’s why I have been so crazy to get you help from Gabe. I didn’t even realize it before until I saw you were sick. Then again, I think I knew, before I knew you were sick, that I cared about you.”
She stopped crying and gripped my hand and beamed. She put her lips to my hand and laughed.
“What is so funny?” I asked defensively.
“I’m just happy. I’ve been trying to figure you out. You seem so unattainable, and here you are. Here you are, and you like me. I’m dying, and this is so selfish of you. Selfish of you because I don’t have time and you want that time. No one has ever found me appealing, and if they have, I haven’t returned it. I have known it for a while that I care for you, too, but I didn’t want to face it. I don’t want to be angry that my time with you is cut short. That isn’t fair.” She seemed angry so I grabbed her chin and pushed it up.
“We’ll make the most of our time if you don’t make it.” Her eyes watered. “But that’s the thing. You will make it. I believe in you. I know we haven’t known each other long, and I was an ass, but you’ve made me feel so happy.”
She never dropped her gaze and calmly spoke. “It sucks that it’s under these circumstances, but I’m glad I’m here with you. Finally.”
We held each other’s gaze. I lifted my lips to hers and melted into the shape of her mouth. I felt myself escaping the world. We held each other in this embrace for a while and then I left her lips. I held her in my arms, and we stared up at the ceiling in complete bliss. We fell asleep holding each other.
I was awoken by a curling scream. I began to panic and saw that Lena was frantically walking around the room while holding her hands to her eyes.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I screamed. Her eyes began to roll to the back of her head, and I took off running for the door.
I opened it, and the sound of Lena screaming exploded into the hallway.
“Holland! Gabe!” I shouted. In a blink of an eye, Holland stood before me, pushing her way past me.
“What happened? Did you do something?” Gabe asked to me accusingly as he approached the room.
“Look at her eyes,” I told him quietly.
He walked in, and Holland had dropped to her knees beside Lena, talking calmly. “Sweetie, show me what’s wrong. What is wrong?” She rubbed her hair, and instantly Lena got quiet. Holland began saying soothing words to Lena until Lena closed her eyes and took a huge breath.
“Now, tell me what’s wrong.” She tried again.
“My eyes were burning. I was crying and then I don’t know what happened. I felt like my eyes were going out of my head.” I wondered why she had been crying, then I remembered when she said her dreams scared her sometimes.
The pain she was in and the strength she had was what made me feel so powerful. I would help Lena. We would all three make Lena better. We had to. She deserved the best treatment and medicine.
It was as if Holland heard me in her mind. “We are going to fight for you if you fight for you. We can do everything we can to fix you, sweetie. Let us try.”
There was silence for a long time, and Gabe paced back and forth. I knew he was nervous about watching someone die. It probably reminded him of his mother dying of a disease and he wasn’t there to help her get better.
“Okay, I will fight if you all promise to fight, too.”
We all nodded, and I heard Gabe say, “I promise.”
I stared at him in amazement. He must have been under the spell that was Lena Alona. She was loveable, and sometimes I found myself forgetting that Gabe was a human himself and could feel emotions. He had grown to like Lena in just a few hours.
“When do we start?” Lena repeated the words from Gabe earlier. She rubbed her eyes, but Holland held her hands in her own.
“Now,” Gabe told her with confidence.
Chapter Sixteen: Just Kill Me Now
LENA WAS LYING across the table in the lab. She looked frightened. Her gaze flickered to mine, and she gave an encouraging smile each time mine met hers. It was hard to rely on Gabe, but it wasn’t hard to believe in Holland, and I knew Lena trusted her. I could understand why it was hard to trust someone who was hot one minute and cold the next. It baffled Lena. He was still that way with Holland and me, but we had grown used to it.
Antidote Trilogy: The Complete Box Set Page 12