I nodded. Though I didn’t really know how to react to her rant. I truly didn’t know if she was aware that Max was going to be named CEO of GP. God, this is the part of knowing secrets that I hate.
“Well, we will see how Cal does tomorrow during the reading of the will. I mean, let’s face it, we all knew my father wouldn’t name someone who wasn’t a Goldstein to run the company; so, right there, Dan was out of the picture. And as much as I loved my father, he still had that small piece of him that believed where a woman’s place was.”
Instantly my stomach twisted into an aching mess. Frank never came across to me as believing that. He seemed like the type of guy who believed in equal rights.
“Your dad was that way?” I asked.
“Yeah, but don’t get me wrong. If I would have pushed working for the company, he would have caved and let me. But he always felt that nothing could ever replace a mom who stays home to take care of her family,” Camille said trying to make her dad not look so sexist.
“So that left Calvin and Max.”
“And let’s face it, Calvin isn’t really the CEO material Dad was looking for,” Camille said in a snarky tone.
“And he never would have chosen Dan?” I interjected.
“Nope, he is—I mean was—stubborn that way,” Camille added.
“Even if Dan was better qualified?”
“Dan is better qualified for the position. But Dad, well, he was always set in his ways.”
My mouth grew dry, my throat parched. Every thought of having Max ripped away from me while I finished school landed heavily on me. It was like a freaking hungry lion decided to sit on my chest, staring down at me, ready to rip off my head.
“And your mom—” I began to ask, trying to keep from thinking about Max coming back without me.
“Has no idea about any of it. But it’s a lot less painful for her, not knowing. But here you are, totally aware that Max has no choice but to come back to Aspen without you,” Camille croaked.
My eyes blurred with every cutting word that poured from her mouth. Camille continued to speak. “And you just got Max back…” She was totally unaware of the daggers she was thrusting deep in my heart over and over again.
“Excuse me,” I spat as I shot up, forcing my chair back, before I sped to the closest bathroom.
My whole body began to throb and my skin swelled with a chilling dampness from my scalp down to the bottoms of my feet. I didn’t want Max to leave me at school. I didn’t want to wait five months to be with him again. I stood at the sink, staring into the basin, wondering how I was going to handle being the girl he had to leave back at school. My eyes were fringed with tears. I don’t want to cry. Damn it, I’m not going to cry. Instead I began to talk myself off the ledge of losing it. Come on, Wilson, pull it together. This is what having a family is about. So what? What’s five months in a lifetime of forever? I love him, deeper than I ever knew I could. I pulled a tissue from the box of Kleenex on the back of the toilet and wiped my eyes dry. God, my eyes look like shit, my cheeks are frickin’ bright red. Urrghh. I fanned my hands in front of my face trying to erase the redness that wouldn’t go away fast enough.
“Fuck it, time to face your family, Wilson,” I whispered to myself. My heart leapt into my throat. The words came out so automatically, almost thoughtlessly, like I’d been saying them forever. Suddenly I felt what it was like to have a family. And with a newfound warmth, I opened the door and went back to the dining room.
“Hey, are you okay? I hope I didn’t upset you,” Camille sighed.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Well, here you go!” Nancy sang, completely unaware that I was just in the bathroom crying and Camille was the one who upset me. She slipped a plate loaded with a gigantic piece of lipsmacking, homemade mixed berry pie, perfectly topped with a flawless half-circle scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. The sweet aroma of the warm berries, mixed with my longing to taste it, made my mouth water. My fork sank into the crumbling crust as it cut through a sliver of the ice cream. Warm and cold mixed sinfully with my taste buds. God, she makes the best berry pie. I didn’t know if I’d be able to save any for Max.
“This is delicious, Ma—I mean, Nancy. Thank you,” I hummed.
“Oh, darling, you are so welcome,” Nancy answered as she handed Camille her plate. “I’m just so glad you are home with us,” she continued before she came over and lovingly pressed her hands across my shoulders.
“Me too,” I sang. Her eyes sparkled with a familiar tenderness. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to save any of this delicious pie for Max,” I teased.
“Well, Maxi has the entire other half of pie in the kitchen,” Nancy retorted. “It used to be Frank and Maxi who would fight over the last piece. I guess they—Maxi has no competit—sorry,” Nancy choked as her eyes welled with tears.
I didn’t say anything to her, just got up and went over and hugged her. Her small frame crumbled against mine for a moment before she stiffened and collected herself. I felt her body vibrate, like the shiver began in her heart and echoed through every cell of her body.
“Well, I think we should find out what those boys are up to. They’ve been talking business long enough,” Camille said, breaking the thick, smothering air in the room. Nancy nodded in agreement as she swiped a cloth napkin from the table and dabbed her eyes.
“Well, you two go and find the boys. I’m going to wrap up the pie in the kitchen and clear the table.”
“Nancy, let me help you clean this up,” I offered, trying to pick up my plate from the table. Nancy snatched the plate from my hands and shooed me, flapping the napkin at me like it had some power to make me disappear out of the dining room.
“Nonsense, you go on ahead, I’ll be there momentarily.”
Camille clung to my arm and pulled me toward the family room. I couldn’t help feeling guilty for leaving Nancy to clean up dinner. But then again, maybe it was exactly what she needed—a moment alone to cry or pull herself together.
“Wilson, that’s her mechanism for dealing with stress. She cleans,” Camille groaned.
We went into the “Great Room,” as Max called it, thinking they would be deep in discussions about topics important enough to pull them away from Nancy’s mixed berry pie. Well, they were there, paperwork spread across the green felt pool table, with Dan and Calvin talking in a low rumble…but no Max. Camille cleared her throat.
“Hey guys, time’s up.”
They looked up, their expressions worn and tired. I noticed the muscles through the front of their necks constrict and loosen, as if they were swallowing their words.
“Oh, hey, you’re already done with dessert?” Dan asked as he pointed toward the kitchen.
“Yeah, we just wanted to come and see when you guys were coming to have some berry pie,” Camille answered instinctively.
“We’re done. Right, Cal?” Dan volunteered.
“Good, because I think Mom is starting to lose it. Where’s Max?” Camille asked almost like she was irritated.
“He got a call or something; he said he’d be right back. What do you mean lose it? Is she doing that cleaning thing again?” Cal asked as he dragged his hand through his tousled black hair. Dan looked over at Camille before collecting up the papers they had spread across the pool table. I could’ve sworn I saw his eyes dart toward the foyer.
I took advantage of their being in a thick conversation about family matters to slip down the hall and toward the stairs. If Max had an important call to take, he would’ve either headed upstairs to his bedroom where it’s quiet or out into the garage. I won’t lie, a huge part of me hoped he was up in his room, but what I found wasn’t what I expected. Max wasn’t upstairs in his room or out in the garage, he was in the foyer with the front door sprung wide open and Emily Vaughn wrapped in his arms. My heart crashed against my sternum, crumbing into a million pieces. It plummeted into the darkest, deepest part of my gut. The back of my neck became drenched with every fear that pushed thr
ough my skin. Suddenly the tables turned and I was watching the man I love more than anything being comforted by another woman.
I didn’t want Max to know I saw him so I pushed my back tight against the wall between the stairs and where they were. My shoulder blades ached from the texture of the wall, my spine straightened by the fear of discovery. I couldn’t fold in half, I couldn’t cry, all I could do was stand and take the punishment for every fucked-up mistake I’d made with Max.
Emily pushed against him, resting her head on his chest. I watched as he embraced her. I heard him whispering to her, words I couldn’t make out. Were they words that belonged to me? My heart thrashed loudly in my ears, my breathing sped, and all I could smell was the sick, syrupy sweetness of her Calvin Klein Euphoria perfume.
Emily pulled away and Max pushed his hands to her cheeks before twisting one of her dark brown curls around his finger and delicately tucking it behind her ear. God it hurt so bad to see him touch her that way. Suddenly I couldn’t keep myself from hyperventilating. I watched as Emily smiled at him; her eyes twinkled with every word he whispered to her. Her hands clutched either side of his white dress shirt. My knees buckled, causing me to lean forward. I caught myself before I fell apart in the hall. Ugh! This is my fault. I should have never left, I should have never kissed Nick, and I should have been there with him as he buried his father. But mostly, I should have never left.
Chapter Fourteen
~ Max ~
Emily didn’t handle death well; she never could. But who am I to talk? When Mallory killed herself I dropped into the deepest, most fucked-up depression ever! It was a lonely, desolate place deep within me that I never knew existed. Emily would come by every day and check up on me. I guess, years later, nothing’s changed for her. She knew the routine and seemed to be slipping so comfortably back into it. Only thing was, I didn’t need her to do that this time.
“Thank you for coming over and checking up on me,” I mumbled. I felt her arms press against my sides, her hands hot against my back as she rubbed them up and down my lats.
“Well, Max, you’re welcome. You know I’m here whenever you need me,” Emily sang as she leaned her body into mine. I can’t say it wasn’t comfortable, and considering our past, it would be normal to feel her do this. But it wasn’t romantic for me; I mean she’d been my friend since we were little. I just didn’t need the same attention she wanted to give me now that I was with Wilson. As she looked up at me her blue eyes danced back and forth and her bangs tangled with her eye lashes. I wrapped a curl of her hair around my finger before I pushed it behind her ear.
“Thanks for that, Em. I’d better get back to my family,” I whispered.
“You mean back to that girl, Wilson, right?” she answered back.
“Yeah, she is my girlfriend Em.” I pulled her hands off from around me.
“Really? Where was she today when you really needed her?” Emily said in a short tone. “Girlfriends don’t just leave their boyfriends alone at one of the worst times of their lives,” she spat. I could see her chest beginning to heave and the edges of her curls vibrate with every breath she took.
“Emily, please don’t disrespect Wilson. You have no idea—”
“Max, she left you…literally, right after your father died.”
“Em, I’m asking you to stop.” I could feel my teeth grind as she bashed Wilson.
“She isn’t right for you.”
“I think you should go now. I’ll tell my family you came by,” I growled in a stern voice. I could feel the muscles in my arms and shoulders tighten.
“I’m sorry, Max, but I had to say something, as someone who’s known you all your life and cares a lot about what happens to you.” Emily weaved her arm around mine as she pushed her other hand against my chest. “Calvin told me she’s one of your students, and that you lost your job back in California because of her.”
I couldn’t fucking believe the words spewing from her mouth. Who in the hell does she think she is? She has no idea about my life with Wilson. The temperature in my face rose and I felt like my entire body was on fire, burning every fucked-up memory I had of my life into the forefront of my mind. Every ounce of restraint I had was dissolving in her remarks.
“If you’ve ever cared about me, you’d be happy for me. Finally I’ve found someone who makes me happy. Someone that makes me feel alive again. I love her, more than anything or anyone I’ve ever loved in my life. If you knew what was best you’d leave, before you say anything else to ruin our friendship. I’ll tell my mom you came by.” I didn’t give her an opportunity to answer. I grabbed her arm and pushed her out the front door.
“I’m sorry, Max,” she cried as she stumbled over the threshold.
“Yeah, me too,” I snapped as I slammed the door.
The weight of what I did landed on my shoulders and I couldn’t get my eyes to leave the floor. I leaned down just enough to push my hands against the tops of my knees. What the hell just happened? I can’t believe she did that to me. I closed my eyes and stood up. I needed to collect all the crap Emily laid on me and let it go. I took a huge breath, giving my lungs the oxygen they craved, giving my body the strength I needed to go back and deal with Calvin and Dan. Emily’s words blasted through my mind.
She isn’t right for you.
Where was she today?
Calvin told me she’s one of your students…
Girlfriends don’t just leave their boyfriends alone at one of the worst times of their lives.
Fuucckkk! Why did she do that to me? I squeezed my eyes shut and slammed my fists against the sides of my head. I didn’t want to hear her words in my head any more.
“Max?” I heard the sweetest sound, so delicate, just above a whisper. I opened my eyes, my fists still glued to my temples. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Her eyes damp with sadness, she warily stepped toward me, like every step she was choosing could destroy us.
“Wilson,” I breathed nervously.
The way she wrapped her arms around her stomach and tugged at the edge of the gray hoodie told me she must’ve heard everything.
“How long were you standing there?”
“Long enough,” she answered, tilting her head as she wedged her bottom lip between her teeth. Every word I said to Emily shifted and flashed through my head. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Are you?” she asked as she slowly walked toward me. Her blonde hair tumbled across her cheek. My heart started pounding hard in my chest. Her hips swayed with every step. She reached out, inching her hand up my chest to the back of my neck. Our eyes met and tangled in a wordless conversation that seemed to last forever. I don’t want her to leave again. I can’t lose her to another fucked up misunderstanding. I won’t let her go.
“Yeah, I guess…I mean…I didn’t…well, she shouldn’t have—” I stammered, trying to find the right words to release the guilt that was filling me.
“No, she shouldn’t have…now, are you going to stop talking and kiss me?” she growled as she pulled me down to her lips. She was in control. Our mouths met, her tongue pushed and tangled with mine. She tasted like every flavor of sexy I’d missed. My hands clutched her hips before I pulled her entire body against mine. I consumed her moan, grabbed her ass, and bit her bottom lip, causing her to whimper. I could feel her nipples against my chest. Instantly, my body reacted and I was rock hard. I swayed my hips and pressed myself against her. Her breathing hitched before she pulled at the back of my shirt. Every part of my body needed her to be naked and under me.
“I’ve missed you so much, Wilson,” I growled against her ear.
“Max,” she whispered as I pinned her against the wall, kissing down her neck and across her collarbone. My tongue pleasurably grazed her skin, tasting the sweet salt of her flesh. I felt her heartbeat speed as my mouth reached the base of her neck. I smiled when I heard the velocity of her breathing accelerate. I inhaled her s
cent before exhaling against her skin, making sure the warmth of my breath created a swirling ache deep within her.
“We can’t just leave—”
“Shhhh,” I interrupted before bringing my mouth back against hers. I didn’t want to hear anything but yes spring from between her lips. I didn’t want to stop kissing her. Didn’t want to hear what we were supposed to be doing. I just wanted to escape into her and make her crave me from the inside out. I pulled her away from the wall and we drifted into the bathroom next to the stairs. Without letting her go, I kicked the door closed behind us. I know it probably wasn’t the best choice, the bathroom and all, but my need to be alone with her outweighed the reasoning of where it was going to be.
“God, Wilson, I want you so bad. Can you feel what you do to me?” I asked as I thrust my hips against her.
“Ah-hum,” she moaned as she nodded her head, causing her hair to tickle against my cheek. I found my way around her jaw, my tongue tasting her skin as my lips enveloped her earlobe. I wanted to kiss her behind her ear. I knew it was the one place I could go and she’d agree to anything I’d ask.
She sighed, letting out a low-timbre hum. That’s when I knew I had her; it was that sound that drove me fucking crazy.
She pulled fists full of my dress shirt from my waist, hurriedly, her hands searching for my skin. Damn, her hands are scalding hot against my stomach. Her knuckles carved into my skin as she struggled to unbutton my pants. I knew she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. My lips traced up her jaw, searching for and finally catching her mouth. I hummed against her and our heavy breathing switched to gasps when she reached for my waist. I felt her hands lose the struggle with the button of my pants and cling to either side of my face, her fingers tangling and pinning my hair against my ears as I pressed her against the wall next to the sink.
I moaned, she followed, and we both knew we’d reached a point to which we’d never go back; nothing would be like it was before this moment. Wilson was everything I needed. Her eyes opened, giving me an instant to replay every time she looked at me, every time I tasted her skin, every minute of every day that she made me feel alive.
Beyond Eighteen Page 9