by Ali Winters
Caspian stopped and looked down at his hands. He didn’t want to see the look of hurt he knew would be on her face. It would break his heart, just as it had all those years ago.
Nivian stood and walked to the window of her balcony. It had begun snowing while he told her of their history. A thin white blanket covered the city. The silence only a snowfall can bring, surrounded them.
“I was a hunter?” she whispered, turning to face him.
Caspian tore his gaze away from the window and faced her. He nodded. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted in surprise. It wasn’t the reaction he had expected from her; anger, rage, anything other than the frightening calm. Then again, nothing she ever did was expected. “Yes, it is what makes you so powerful. You are the only one who has a chance against the hunter.”
She gave him a curt nod and spoke softly. “Thank you. I still don’t remember anything before I drowned. Will I ever remember?”
“I do not know if you will. Silas controls the memories. Though I hope you do, now that you know. If I hadn’t turned you, Silas would have wiped my memory, and neither of us would have remembered the other.”
Nodding once more, she said, “I think I’d like to be alone for a little while. Please.” She placed her hood over her head and vanished.
Nivian
Hours later, Nivian was still on the roof looking out over the twinkling city. Lights reflected off the snow that dusted the streets, giving the city a glow. She pulled her cloak tighter around her. There wasn’t an audible sound, but she knew the moment he appeared behind her—she could feel his energy.
“Caspian,” she whispered, “I need time to think.”
“I’m sorry, I—” he started.
She glanced back over her shoulder. Tears prickled her eyes just seeing his face. “Please, don’t.” She turned away and leaned on the ledge, looking down to watch the city pass by. She needed time to process this, and she couldn’t do it if he were around. His presence muddled her thoughts.
Caspian took the few steps that separated them until he stood just inches from her. Without warning, she spun on her heel to face him, pain flashed in her eyes.
“It hurts knowing you did this to me.” She bit her lip and tried to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to spill over.
“Is it really that bad being a reaper?” he asked softly.
A single tear rolled down her cheek, and he gently wiped it off with his thumb. Dropping his hand, he moved to turn away.
“Cas—” Before she could finish, his arms were wrapped tightly around her. Pulling her to his chest, he buried his face in her neck. Nivian hesitated for a moment before she wrapped her arms around his waist and let the tears fall. Deep down, she knew Caspian would never intentionally hurt her, not if he had a choice. She understood why he did it and that he did save her from a death far more painful. But even understanding couldn’t stop it from hurting. It didn’t change anything, not her past, not even how she felt. Exhaustion set in as her tears dried up. When she had nothing left, she pulled away with a heavy sigh, swaying on her feet. Exhausted, there was too much left to process. Caspian caught her before she tripped over her own feet.
“That’s enough for now. You can chew me out later.” He transported them to her apartment and set her down on her bed and covered her with a blanket.
“Cheater…” she mumbled.
Caspian shook his head and chuckled quietly. Her roller coaster of emotions had taken everything out of her. Even after everything that had happened, she couldn’t help but tease him.
He brushed the hair from her face and sat next to her. She was losing the battle against sleep. Her breathing slowed, and her eyes fluttered as they lowered, her body finally giving in to exhaustion.
She felt his weight shift. His lips softly brushed over hers, lingering for a moment. Just as quickly, his presence was gone. The absence of his warmth hardly registered. Her consciousness faded as she heard the rustle of his cape being pulled over his head.
Twenty-Four
Kain
Kain briefly wondered if Nivian was all right. She had never stopped by like she said she would. He should check on her. Rising from his couch, he headed for the door. His phone rang as he reached for it. Who would call at this time?
“Hello?” Kain asked, not recognizing the number.
“Meet me in the park.” It was Holter.
“Now isn’t a good time.” He looked at the clock. It was almost four in the morning—he’d spent all night waiting for her. He had no idea if Nivian slept, if she just ran around reaping, or had some type of weird hobby, like carving designs into eggshells or making tinfoil hats. “I’m still exhausted from the training we did. I need a break,” he said flatly.
“I just want to talk. No training. Besides, you kicked my butt. I need a break.” He let out a low chuckle.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Kain said, “I guess I can spare a little time, but I have to check on a friend soon, so I can’t stay and talk for too long.”
There was a long pause before Holter said, “What kind of friend are you going to see this late at night?”
Oh great, the man was gone Kain’s entire life, and now he wants to play dad? “It’s not like that. I’m just concerned about a friend and need to make sure she’s all right.” Kain sighed. “I’ll be there in ten.”
Kain ended the call. Better get this over with so he could check up on Nivian. He had been worried since he stopped by her apartment, and the other reaper had been there. She had been upset. Grabbing his jacket, he locked the door behind him.
Holter
Holter was sitting on the same bench where they’d first met when Kain jogged up to him. His son took a seat without greeting him.
“How is your mother?” Holter asked.
Kain looked at him incredulously. “Did you seriously just call me out here at four in the morning to ask me about Ma?”
“I need to know she’s safe,” Holter stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
Kain sighed. “Yes, she’s fine. I haven’t been out to see her in a few days. Since everything has happened, I just don’t want her to get dragged into any of it.”
Holter nodded. “Good. I’m proud of you for taking care of her.”
“She’s my mother, of course I would.” Kain placed his hands on his knees, ready to push himself up. “Is that all you wanted to know?” he asked irritably.
“I hope when this is all over I can see her again. I want to apologize,” he carried on as if Kain hadn’t said anything. “Maybe she’d even take me back…”
“You stay away from her,” Kain snapped venomously. “You’ve hurt her enough for one lifetime. The last thing she needs is for you to come back into her life. Besides, don’t you think she’d notice that you didn’t seem to age?”
“If I’ve missed my chance in this lifetime, I will wait for her again,” he added, only half paying attention to Kain. Since he had met his son, thoughts of Aurelia consumed him every waking minute. He had spent so many years trying to forget her and the love they’d shared. He told himself it didn’t matter, that the time would pass quickly. But it didn’t. Time had never passed so slowly for him as it did when she wasn’t in his presence. To know she was alive and loved him, but not able to be with her was a knife twisting in his heart with every tick of the second hand. Kain looked so much like his mother. He had her nose and her smile. The corners of Holter’s lips lifted at the thought of being able to see her face again.
“Come again?” Kain quirked an eyebrow, “am I missing something?”
“Look, Kain, it happened a long time ago. Your mother is not as she seems. I have waited for her since the day we met. It was before The Dissension. Yeva and some of the hunters had managed to capture a reaper. Yeva found a way to drain her of all her powers, and the reaper became human. The loss of everything she knew, her power, her abilities, took its toll on her, and she lost her memory. I was in charge of protecting her—I couldn’t keep my distance
, she charmed me, and we fell in love. She lived an ordinary human life until the day she died. It damn near killed me to lose her. About eighty years later I was walking down the street, and there she was. Clear as day, just as she had been the day we met. It was love at first sight. She didn’t know me in her new life, but her heart did. It has been the same each time. She would live her life with me, and after her death I waited for her to be reborn.”
“Why did you leave us this time?” Kain leaned forward. It was about time his son had learned how his parents met. Considering all that Kain learned in the last few days, Holter thought he was doing a damn good job adapting to it all and not running to the nearest psychiatric hospital for a nice white jacket and demanding to be admitted. All this would take some time to get used to.
“Being born a reaper, she was never fully human. A small part of her power must have remained giving her the ability to be reborn over and over. In all those lifetimes, we could never have children… until you.” He placed a hand on Kain’s shoulder. “I don’t know how it happened, but it did. I knew you were special the moment she told me we were expecting. I also knew I had to do anything and everything in my power to protect you both—even if that meant leaving.”
“This is getting more complicated than I want to think about right now.”
“Kain, there is one more thing I should tell you.” Holter looked around. “Since you are the incarnation of the first watcher who fell with the sole purpose of saving us. What Yeva told you about that being the root of your power wasn’t entirely correct. It is not the power you once had—though it has enabled you to take on more power than any other hunter—your mother passed the strength of her powers on to you.”
“That’s good to know. I’ll be sure to thank her the next time I visit.” Kain mocked. “So, do I get the invisibility thing or the disappearing act too?”
Holter shook his head. “No, nothing like that. You do not necessarily have the powers a reaper has, but they cannot take your life force as easily as they can others.”
“So it’s nothing I have to work on. I guess that saves time.” Kain shrugged and looked at his watch. “I need to go now. I have to check in on a friend.”
Holter’s face fell. “Stay away from her.” His voice was a quiet warning.
Kain’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
“Stay away from that girl. No good can come of it, and it will only end badly.”
“This doesn’t concern you, or anyone else for that matter. What I do is my business. I’m already playing this little game you hunters have going on with the reapers—which sounds insane if you haven’t noticed.” Kain stood abruptly, “but don’t think it gives you any right to tell me what I can or can’t do. You haven’t been around for any part of my life, so coming up to me a few days ago doesn’t mean anything. You are no one to me. Shared genetics don’t mean you have rights to any part of my life.”
Holter stood up and faced Kain. “I’m not deluding myself into thinking I can start playing family. I’m telling you this for your own good—and hers!”
Kain’s nostrils flared. “We are done here.” Turning, he walked away and left Holter to stand there watching after him.
Kain
It was already five in the morning as Kain stalked back to his apartment building. He debated if he should stop and check on Nivian, or if he should wait until a more normal hour. In the end, he figured she was a reaper and death happened at every hour, not only during the day.
He jogged up the stairs, skipped his floor, and continued up to the top floor where Nivian lived. Knocking on her door, he waited.
Nivian
Nivian woke to the light tapping on her door. Groggy, she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. A few minutes after five A.M. Sighing, she dragged herself out of bed and wondered who would be visiting at this time of night. She walked across the cold hardwood floors and opened the door.
“Kain,” she rubbed her eyes, “what are you doing here?”
“I woke you.”
“No… yes, but it’s okay.”
“I was worried. You were upset when I saw you earlier, and you never came over.” He looked down at her, worry written on his face.
Nivian stepped back, allowing him to come inside, her disheveled hair falling over her face. “Can I get you anything? Coffee?” she asked, closing the door behind him, yawning.
“Coffee, please.” Kain looked around. The only light on in the apartment was a small lamp next to her bed.
She looked down—she was still wearing her human clothes from earlier in the day and needed to change them anyway. “I should have contacted you.”
“I can go if you want me to.” His eyes searched her face.
“No. Please stay,” she insisted. Walking into the kitchen she, flicked on the light, and squinted at the abrupt brightness. She walked over to her coffee pot and turned it on. “Sorry again for not stopping by. What did you want to talk about?”
Kain took a seat at the kitchen island and watched her as she shuffled around the kitchen, adding cream and sugar to their coffee. “It wasn’t important. I just wanted to tell you I’d been training. It was only a few days but—”
Nivian’s head whipped around. “A few days? I just saw you last night. You were with that blonde.”
“That was a few days ago, Nivi,” he corrected her. “Wait, were you following me?”
Nivian was silent as she looked down, trying to understand what happened. The last thing she remembered before her fight with Caspian was the day she had followed Kain on his trip and went to see Caspian and trained… She had passed out--but for how long?
“When did you leave?” Nivian asked, ignoring his last question.
“About three days ago. I came to see you right after I got back. Why? What’s wrong?”
“I think I lost a few days.” Nivian chewed on her lip. “I went to see Caspian the day you left. He trained me. I must have passed out. I must have been unconscious for longer than I thought. Days instead of hours.” She sighed, still feeling worn out.
“You’ve been training?” A slightly worried look crossed his face.
“Only a day’s worth.” Nodding, she poured them both a cup of coffee. Nivian brought her cup to her lips and inhaled the rich aroma before taking a sip.
“Does this mean we are going to fight each other soon?” Kain asked, stirring his coffee.
Nivian set her cup down on the counter and rested her foot against the cupboard as she leaned back. “I honestly don’t know, Kain. I wish I did.” She paused. “No, I wish we didn’t have to fight at all. This is such a big mess. I feel like I’m being pulled along with a tide and nothing I do will change it.”
“I know what you mean.” Kain took a sip. “I don’t like that I’m being told I have to fight. This isn’t my war.”
“Kain, it is our war. We didn’t start it, but we were born into it. We didn’t decide to fight, but we were never given a choice.” Nivian looked into her cup. “I wish there were another way.”
They changed the subject to more pleasant topics of no importance until they had both finished their coffee.
“I should probably try and get a few hours of rest, just in case this thing starts anytime soon.”
Nivian nodded and walked him to the door, her face flushed at the memory of the last time she had walked him out. Nivian closed the door behind him after they said their goodnights and went to the kitchen to clean up.
Twenty-Five
Nivian
Mesmerized by the light snow falling, Nivian stared out the kitchen window lost in thought. The sudden drop in temperature fogging up the window didn’t register in her mind even as she subconsciously brought her arms up and wrapped them around herself.
“Hello, Nivian.”
Nivian whipped around, her mug slipping from her hands and crashed to the floor. The ancient’s presence confused her. She was in her apartment, so why was he here? Her mind refused to process seeing him outside
G.R.I.M. Headquarters, let alone Mophar.
“Silas,” Nivian exclaimed, “wha—what are you doing here?” Her brows furrowed.
“I have come to check on you.”
“Check on me?”
“Yes, I spoke to Caspian. He told me you had remembered your past.” He stepped closer, forcing her to tilt her head to meet his eyes.
“Yes—no. I remember dying. I thought it was just a dream at first. I don’t remember anything before my death,” Nivian said.
Breathe—in and out. She had never been this close to Silas before. It unnerved her.
Silas nodded. “How long have you been having these dreams?” His hand reached out and played with a strand of her hair. Nivian nervously looked down, biting her lip.
“It started a night after I first failed the assignment of Cassandra Hatfield when Kain interfered with my mark.”
“I see.” Silas said thoughtfully and took a step back.
Nivian let out a slow breath; able breathe a little easier with space between them.
“It seems that your proximity to the hunter has had quite the effect on you. He is reversing your memory loss.”
“Kain is reversing it?” Nivian’s voice betrayed her hope in his words.
“You were never supposed to remember, Nivian.”
Nivian narrowed her eyes. “You erased my memory on purpose?”
“Yes.”
“Have you come to take it away again?” Her voice broke. She didn’t know what she wanted his answer to be. Both possibilities filled her with dread. She didn’t want to forget again, but remembering her death had broken her heart. What pain would remembering her life bring?
“No. There is no need. You only remember your death.”
Nivian’s mouth dropped open. “W-Why would you make me forget?”
“If I had let you keep your memories, you would not have become the exceptional reaper you are today. I had to convince you to join us willingly.”