Feral Craving

by D. C. Stone

  “You look,” Mackenzie paused and grinned, “excited.” She leaned forward, pushing the towel she rubbed the counter with to the side. Her smile died as Beth’s own excitement faltered. Almost like watching the seasons change, her friend’s face wavered in a blink of an eye. Mackenzie followed suit and frowned, then reached across the counter and grabbed her friend’s hands.

  “What’s happened, Beth?”

  “I think you need to sit down, Mac.”

  “I don’t want to sit. What happened? Is it Alex?” A sliver a fear trilled up her spine. Her twin brother was the town’s deputy and while Nantucket didn’t have a high crime rate, he still dealt with the worst offenders in the area, making it a scary job. Bethany would have the knowledge of such injuries, seeing as she worked at the hospital.

  Bethany shook her head. “No, it’s not Alex.”

  Another deep sigh from Bethany had Mackenzie asking, “Then what is it? Why do you look as if a ghost just walked past you?”

  “Because, in a way, one has.”

  Mackenzie shook her head in confusion. She squeezed Bethany’s hand in encouragement. It was like pulling nails out of wood to get her to the point. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Beth.”

  Bethany shifted in her chair. “I don’t want you to freak out. Matter of fact, I want you to remember who you are and what a great life you’ve built for you and Byron here.”

  “Okay…”

  “Well,” Bethany visibly swallowed, “there’s a group of Rangers who have been hanging around the hospital recently.” Her friend glanced away and shrugged. “Not anything new, mind you. But it seems as though someone has returned home.”

  Mackenzie’s eyes widened, as a certain thought slithered across her mind. Small town of Nantucket, there weren’t too many choices she had to sort through in order to figure out who returned. Her heart slammed into her rib cage, and her stomach swirled as old pains rose to the surface. She drew in a deep breath, let it out and pressed a hand to the vortex of emotions settling in her gut. Despite his obvious reluctance, the cast off and dismissal, she followed exactly what a certain ranger had been up to.

  “Are you sure?”

  Bethany nodded and reached out to take Mackenzie’s shaking hand. “A few weeks ago his team was attacked in Iraq. Said it was during some mission where they had been trying to track some weapons being smuggled across the border. The team searched the house and not finding anything initially, relaxed their guard. As they were leaving, someone stepped out and shot Bari.”

  The air pushed out from Mackenzie’s lungs in a rush, her heart beating like a hummingbird’s wings.

  Bethany went on. “His team got him out of there and from what I hear, it was quite the fight getting away. They’d been surrounded for hours, pushed into a ravine, and had to keep the fighters off of them while waiting for rescue to move in. The whole time they worked to keep Bari alert and from bleeding out.” A hand wrapped around Mackenzie’s, and she glanced down as if looking from an out of body experience. “I’m so sorry, Mac. I know it’s a lot to take in but please, if anything, understand that I think he’s going to be alright.”

  Memories swamped Mackenzie and threatened to break through the carefully erected wall she’d set up. She tore her hand from Bethany’s and leaned up against the counter behind her. Thank God the shop was empty. Panic caused her pulse to spike, and a phantom pain pierced just over her heart. She cursed and closed her eyes, urged her racing heartbeat to slow. Bari was home. Her Bari, the one who had walked out of her life without so much as a goodbye nine years ago. Her best friend, the one she had handed her heart and body to. Bari, the one she thought of time and time again, always wondering how he was doing, where he was, if he thought of her too. Crossing her arms across her chest, she stared at her friend, trying like hell to get under control. This couldn’t be happening. She’d worked too hard for too long to try to forget.

  While she worked hard to keep the hardened shell in place, another part of her immediately clung to something she didn’t realize she had. She couldn’t help the flip in her stomach or the sudden hope flying through her veins. Bari was in town, only minutes away at the hospital. She didn’t want to admit it, but she wasn’t strong enough to stay away.

  Chapter Four

  Bari groaned, shifted his body. He was struck with a softness that seemed so out place from where he normally slept. The bed he was lying in felt so much better than the cots the Army handed out, or even the sleeping bags issued. No amount of padding on those things could ever compare to a real mattress. Blinking his eyes open, he looked around and was hit with a sense of déjà vu.

  “Fuck me … not again.”

  Memories flooded back at once. Bari snapped his head to the side, a little too fast if his spinning head was any indicator. The chair next to the bed was empty. Mike must have listened and gone off to do something else other than hound him all day. He knew Mike meant no harm, was feeding into his own guilt, but he didn’t like to be hovered over. He needed time to think, to wrap his mind around what happened, what he was going to do. He needed to try to find out why in the hell his team had brought him home, or even better yet, what the hell he was going to do about it.

  His body still throbbed, but the pain was less. His head was clearer than the last time he had been awake. Bari had been drifting in and out of consciousness but didn’t know for how long. Slowly, he moved each of his limbs, testing them, identifying what he could and couldn’t do. A Ranger never let his guard down, always held stock in what his body said and right now, all his said was it’d hardly be able to hit the crapper if needed. He dropped his head back to the pillow and stared up at the ceiling, frustration clawing at him.

  A sound from the door clicked, and Bari snapped his head up again. “Christ!” His vision swam once more, and he ground his teeth together.

  “Bethany, so it was you.”

  Her hair was still short, the strands barely brushing her shoulders. Her eyes held more knowledge and age in them than should be possible for her twenty-seven years. His gaze trailed down her athletic, curvy body. Falling from her shoulders was the drape of a white coat. He snapped his gaze back up and saw her eyes narrow.

  “If you’re done taking inventory, Sergeant Daxter,” she drawled as she stepped inside the room. “I’m surprised you remember what happened last time you were lucid. You had a lot of drugs pumping through you. How are you feeling?”

  The coldness in her voice whipped across his skin like an Alaskan wind. Bari watched her with caution as she studied his chart. “Better than a few days ago. Where am I?”

  She lifted inquisitive eyes up to meet his. “You gave us quite a scare.” Her pen rapped against the chart. “You’re in a hospital in Nantucket. In all honesty, I’m surprised you had the balls to come home, or even why you bothered. With how fast you managed to get out of here, I expected to never see you again. But then again, I knew it wouldn’t be that easy to get rid of you.”

  He cringed at her harsh words and fought the urge to lash out at her. “Jesus, nine years is a long time, and you’re pissed because I left? Don’t hold back now, why don’t you just tell it how it is, Beth…”

  “I intend to and just did, Bari.” She practically spat his name and then drew in a visible breath. “Your body suffered some damage, Sgt. Daxter, two gunshot wounds, one that hit your kidney. And yet, you sit here, a week later, seemingly recovering at a pace I’ve never seen before.” Her brows pulled down, narrowed and pinned him to the bed. He briefly wondered if she’d ever consider signing up to do interrogations. She was that good. “So fast, it seems, you fought off a kidney infection before it even had a chance to do much more than raise your body temperature.” Setting the chart on top of the bedside table, she tucked her hands into the pockets of her smooth coat and kicked her chin up a notch. “I need you to be straight with me, Bari. Something is going on with you. I can’t get your blood type, your body is fighting off toxins at a rapid pace, and this recov
ery rate is nothing short of a miracle. As your doctor, I need to know what the military has done to you.”

  He laughed at her question, couldn’t help it. Well shit, Bari, you want to go to Disneyland next? What the fuck else can go wrong? Bewilderment and confusion set in. He tried to process her inquiry. He suspected something was going on with him but didn’t know exactly what. Whatever it was, he was almost certain it had nothing to do with the military. Clenching his fist under the sheet, he felt the distinct tug of the IV on his hand.

  “The military hasn’t done anything, Beth. I don’t have any clue on any of what you just said. I’ve always recovered from injuries faster than others. My mother never questioned it. Now…” Releasing the fist, he took his hand out and gripped the top of the sheet, flinging it off to the side. His eyes tracked over the length of his body, cringing at the blue gown that left hardly anything to the imagination.

  “Doc, why don’t you tell me when I can get out of here?” Rotating his legs off the side of the bed, he flexed his toes, testing, trying to feel them. Miracle recovery, his ass; he grappled with weakness. Because you’re invisible, asshole; that’s it. Come on, try it, get up and let’s watch you fall again or better yet, fall on your face again. Bari scowled at the voice in his head.

  Bari watched from the corner of his eye as Bethany stepped forward. “Just what in the hell do you think you are doing? You need to rest! You were shot six days ago, Bari. Your body isn’t ready.”

  He ignored her and slid off the bed, his feet touching the cool ground with ease. He pushed off, settling his weight. Pain and dizziness gripped him, sending a lightning bolt of pure agony through his veins. It felt like shards of glass working their way from his feet, up his legs, and into his stomach. It was there the pain festered, grew, and started to boil. He heard Beth’s continued shouts, but he focused on the pain and grunted beneath his breath.

  “I see you’re ever still the genius, Bari.” Her voice was closer. “Why do I even try with you?”

  “Fuck…” His voice came out hoarse with pain. “What the hell, Doc?” His entire body went rigid as pain burst in his stomach like a bomb, spreading out through his limbs and shooting straight for his heart. The organ responded by quickening in beat, the sound of it thundering. He stumbled to the bathroom as nausea rose.

  Bari entered the small room and lurched for the sink, kicking the door shut behind him. Pain tore through his skull, as if shards of glass filled his head, and he swore he could literally feel things moving around behind his eyes, under his skin. The entire thing freaked him out. Catching the sink, he held his weight and glanced up to the mirror. His breath heaved in and out of his lungs as he caught the image staring back at him. The pupils widened as he watched, completely covering his ice blue eyes. He watched in horror, as the color continued outward, bursting like an overfilled dam and encompassing the entire white of his sclera. The color called for the deepest and darkest part of black, an emptiness that seemed to go on forever. Right in the middle of those dark orbs was the smallest pinpoint of white. Light, pure and unadulterated, poured from those points. He leaned in to the mirror; his eyes roamed over his skin, watching as it turned from the color of creamed coffee into a bluish tint, his veins standing out in stark red relief against the surface. His breath caught as pain pierced his skull with intensity unlike anything he had ever apperceived.

  He grabbed his head and dug his fingers into his skull, trying to pull the pain out. An anguished cry burned up the back of his throat and out of his mouth as he turned and leaned against the wall. Distantly he heard Beth pounding on his door, but he couldn’t answer. His body doubled over, stomach cramping under the force of the nausea and still, his beating heart thundered on. The beat began to throb in his vision, his eyesight sharpening, picking up new colors and small motes of dust in the air.

  Impossible.

  His heartbeat increased in intensity, the pain now pounding into his body like waves on a beach. Each pulse of pain eroded his strength and pushed him to the floor in agony. Just before the lights went out, the last thing he saw was Beth’s wide-eyed face filling his vision as she burst through the door and screamed.

  Chapter Five

  Mackenzie sat outside the school, lost in thought. Children buzzed by, parents corralled groups of kids, and teachers waved goodbye for the evening, turning away with smiles. Instead of seeing any of it, she stared straight ahead, eyes focused on where the bright blue sky dipped behind tall green oak trees. Too many things kept her thoughts occupied, her mind running in circles, trying to find answers to questions she didn’t even recognize she had. She wondered how badly Bari had been hurt, if he wanted to see her, and why he left without a word years ago. Nine years. Nine years without a word, without a phone call, an email, or even a letter. Nine years of waiting for any of it, of wishing for something different. Now with him back in town, still, she waited on him.

  Pathetic.

  The car door opened, and she glanced over, her lips curving into a smile as Byron jumped up in the seat. Dark curls fell in disarray around his face, the color so deep it caused the gray of his eyes to shine like a beacon lost in the night. She studied him as he settled, watching for something she always assumed was going to hit them, maybe a memory creeping. He hadn’t remembered anything of the attack yet, and even the child psychiatrist said he probably never would, that perhaps he had been too young, but she wasn’t sure. Sometimes when he hugged her, he whispered he’d protect her from anyone. The possibility he would remember tore her heart in half.

  “Mom! You should have seen it! It was the biggest snake ever!”

  She grinned and checked her side mirror, pulling into traffic. At eight years old, her son’s rambunctious energy combined with his mind’s delight at learning kept the questions coming. There were days she put limits on the number of questions he asked, some of them making her head spin. Really, how many could one little boy ask about tornadoes?

  Risking a quick glance at Byron, she grinned as she turned down Washington Street, heading toward her shop. “A snake, huh? Ew! What kind was it?”

  A quick snort followed her question. “Mom, you can handle a snake.” He smiled and turned his head back to the window. “I think it was a California King snake. It was pretty cool. Did you know they can get as big as six-feet long?”

  Mackenzie glanced over, raised her brows. “Really?”

  He nodded, a serious expression on his face. “Yeah, and did you know they can live up to twenty years?”

  “You don’t say.”

  Out of the corner of her eyes, she watched Byron bounce in his seat. “Yeah, and did you know that they will eat other snakes?”

  “Yuck, really?”

  Byron laughed. “Yeah, you’re supposed to only keep one female and one male in the cage so they can become a mommy and daddy.”

  At this, Mackenzie’s brows hit her hairline. His words were innocent, but she couldn’t ignore the other half missing from her life. She hadn’t felt very female in a long time. Between taking care of Byron, keeping up with the house, and running her own business, there wasn’t any time to really feel like one, or even think about dating. She didn’t have time for any of it, much less was she able to even be alone with a stranger. The last time she had gone out on a date, it ended in disaster.

  Nicolas had been everything she thought she’d need to get back in the game. Handsome, yet he held soft brown eyes that reminded her of comfort, a warm fire burning in her living room back home. She had hired a babysitter for the night and put on a black dress that made her feel sexy and look like a woman. Cut low in the front and sitting high above the knees, it defied gravity on both sides.

  Nicholas picked her up and took her to eat dinner at a Seafood restaurant just across town. The whole night, he’d been courteous: opening her doors, pulling out her chair, even draping his jacket over her shoulders when they walked along the boardwalk after the meal.

  When he leaned in to kiss her, Mackenzie held her brea
th and tentatively brushed her lips against the softness of his lips. With two years since the attack under her belt, she told herself she could do it, tried to force her body to welcome a man’s touch.

  It lasted all of two minutes before he tried for more. His arms wrapped around her body tightly, and the evidence of his arousal sitting between them enhanced her fear, brought it rushing to the surface. She’d clawed at his shoulders trying to push him away, but he’d only taken it for encouragement and deepened their kiss, let his hands roam.

  When she finally managed to get free, she’d barely pulled her mouth away before her stomach rejected the delicious dinner from before, and she hurled it down the front of his suit. With the panic attack stealing her breath, she had been unable to explain and simply did what her body had been urging her to do all night.

  She ran.

  She pulled up to the shop, turned off the car, and opened the door to step out onto the street.

  Walking around to Byron’s side, she set her hand on the back of his shoulders and guided him inside. Her neck prickled with unease, hairs rising with the sensation of eyes on the back of her head. An odd one she had been having frequently, but she pushed the blame on the anniversary of the attack coming up. Mackenzie pulled on the front door and held it open for Byron, the little man still chattering on about snakes. Her mind wasn’t focused on her son though. She searched the cars outside, the people passing by, the yards surrounding them. Someone was out there watching; she would swear it on her life.

  ****

  Hot water sliced over his tired body. Fuck, he was in heaven. Having endured week after week, month after month of baby wipe showers or tossing canteens of freezing water above his head, ecstasy pulsed through Bari’s body. The steady spray had been pouring down for fifteen minutes, and steam rose from the temperature difference and cocooned him in his own little world. He’d woken up a few minutes after passing out with an urge to get clean. More than anything he wanted to push the coldness settling into his veins out with heat.