by JM Stewart
The thought of losing him, of never again being with him this way, scared her more than a little. She didn’t know if she knew how to go back to living the way she had, alone and empty, and she didn’t know how to let him go.
* * *
An hour later, they sat together in the tub. Hannah lay with her back to his front, and Cade enjoyed the simple feel of her in his arms. The fingers of one hand ran back and forth along the arm he’d wrapped around her waist, stroking in idle fashion. The other lay on the side of the tub, curled around the stem of her glass of Chardonnay.
They’d been silent for some time. Here, with her in his arms, words never seemed necessary. This time, though, his mind refused to shut off. His gut had tied itself into a thousand knots as he waited for her to give him the okay to tell her his news. He loathed having to tell her, because she was right. It could put an end to their time. She could decide it wasn’t what she wanted and walk away from him.
All of which meant that, somewhere over the last two hours, since his sister’s unplanned arrival into his relationship with Hannah, the decision weighing on him had made itself. The thought of letting her go, of going back to the way their relationship had been—simple and uncomplicated but shallow—filled him with a hollowness he didn’t know how to fill.
Someway, somehow, he had to convince her to give their relationship a chance beyond the physical, beyond these two weeks. He had to convince her he wasn’t like the other jerks in her life. That sometimes, taking a chance on something that made no sense could turn out to be the best decision. Even if it only lasted a few months, he had to try. He’d meant what he said. Two weeks wasn’t enough time with her. He needed more. He refused to look beyond that or he’d have to admit he was falling for her.
She released a heavy breath and laid her head back against his shoulder. Her voice came as soft as a whisper in the quiet air. “Okay. I’m ready. Tell me.”
He drew his own breath, drummed up the courage to say the words he needed to, and prayed he wasn’t about to hurt her. “I have an obligation I need to attend.”
Her head rocked on his shoulder. “You mentioned that.”
So far, so good. “Every year my family attends a local fund-raiser for breast cancer research. My father lost several women in his family, and every year we make a sizable donation in their honor.”
The fingers on his arm stilled. “What’s the catch?”
His gut tightened. Here went nothing.
“This year, they’ve decided to make the fund-raiser a bachelor auction. Chris runs the committee that sets up the fund-raisers, and last year, the same auction earned over two million in donations. This year, I told her I’d rather donate than participate, but they came up short a couple of bachelors. She volunteered me for the auction block. She also talked Sebastian into attending.”
Hannah turned her head. “Sebastian? Is he the one you found with your fiancée?”
“Mmm-hmm. I think Amelia got him drunk and seduced him. I can’t help but wonder if Chris volunteered us both for this auction on purpose, as a way to force us together. I have to admit she’s right. At some point, I’m going to have to man up and face him, but I’m afraid I don’t know how. We each said things we can’t take back.”
“This auction…the prize is a date with you, right?”
The soft, timid tone of her voice made his chest tighten. It meant Hannah now understood the bigger picture, and he hated the position he had to put her in.
He sighed. There was just no way to make this sound any better.
“Yes. Each bachelor puts together a package the winner receives. Dinner, flowers.” He waved a flippant hand in the air, hoping to take the edge off the news. “Women like to be romanced. Chris has taken care of mine. I don’t even know what she’s drummed up. I only know she’s invited some big spenders this year. She’s hoping to raise more than they did last year.”
Hannah went so still and silent several more knots formed in his gut. Cade held his breath, waiting for her to react, to say something. Silence stretched out between them, and her body tensed against him.
When she wasn’t forthcoming, he tightened his hold on her waist and pressed his cheek to hers. “Please say something.”
“What’s there to say? You have something you need to do. I can’t stop you.”
The cool aloofness in her tone made his chest tighten. “Hannah…”
She sat forward, pulling away from him. Cool air rushed over his wet skin, leaving goose bumps in her wake. “Besides, the rule was that we couldn’t sleep with anyone else. Unless you plan to sleep with her, too, I don’t see how this is breaking a rule.”
She rose and stepped out of the bath before he could stop her, then pulled a robe from the hook beside the door and left the room.
He swore under his breath and followed after her, yanking a thick white towel from the basket beside the tub and wrapping it around his hips as he went in search of her. He didn’t have to go far. He came to a stop outside the bathroom doorway. Hannah sat on the edge of the bed, some ten feet across from him, arms folded across her middle. She stared at the floor, a vacant look in her eye. Her feet dangled several inches over the carpeted floor, swinging back and forth and thumping against the end of the bed.
She might not want to admit it, but he’d done what he’d hoped not to. He’d hurt her, inserted doubt in her mind. He couldn’t deny it anymore. She’d become important to him, because the vulnerability written in her expression cut him like a knife.
He crossed the room with careful steps, hoping not to spook her. When she didn’t bolt or glare at him, he took a seat beside her and held out his hand, palm up. “You didn’t ask me what I wanted.”
She looked over at him, a challenge glinting in her eyes, but didn’t take his hand. “I figured that was obvious. Given that you felt the need to tell me about it means you’re going.”
He pried one of her hands loose from around her waist and threaded their fingers. Despite that she hadn’t voluntarily taken his hand, she didn’t pull away, either. The gesture, however small, filled him with hope.
“Several things here. I told you about the auction because I didn’t want you hearing it about it secondhand and assuming I was another one of those jerks in your life. The guy who broke your heart did you a favor. You don’t need guys like that. I’m not like him, and I never will be. I’ve been dumped more than once for being too much of a nice guy. I also told you about the auction because I have an idea, but it would require us to break another rule.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “You have a thing against rules, don’t you?”
He let out a quiet laugh. “No. Actually, I live by them, but this one would get me out of the hot water I find myself in with you. You’re upset and I hate I’m the one who put that look on your face. Plus, my idea would solve the problem.”
She averted her gaze, looking in the direction of her lap, and lowered her voice. “You’re not in hot water with me.”
He bumped her shoulder with his. “Then why the long face? Be honest.”
She shrugged, but again didn’t look at him. “I had a moment of doubt. I don’t date for a reason, as I said. I got fed up with always meeting jerks. I seem to find an awful lot of them. When Dane ended it, I gave up.”
He nodded. “And you wondered if I was another one.”
“No. I wondered if maybe you were telling me you’d had enough of me. I wondered…” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
He hated that she had the thought, hated he knew what it was like to doubt your own worth, to doubt whether or not you’d ever find someone who saw you. Hated she still didn’t seem to believe he wanted her. Of all the women he could have ended up with, he couldn’t be more grateful that he’d ended up with Hannah.
He looked over at her, staring at her profile. He shouldn’t say it. The warning filled his brain, bright, flashing neon that all said, Don’t say it! Giving voice to the words seated on the tip of his tongue would be cross
ing a line. A big one.
The words left his mouth anyway, on a need to somehow prove to her he wasn’t one of those jerks. Whatever their relationship had started as, he’d hate himself if he ever hurt her the way the others in her life had. “You want to know what I’m thinking right now?”
She laughed, a quiet, dismissive huff. “No. Not really.”
He leaned over, bending his mouth to her ear. Her soft scent, the oils she’d put in the bath water, swirled around him. He ached to bite her earlobe, to nibble his way up her neck until she melted into him and let out that quiet, addicting little moan. “I think you’re beautiful the way you are. When I’m with you, I relax. In a way I can’t seem to do on my own. Baby, I even sleep better with you, and you bring out a playfulness in me. We laugh together. A lot. And I’m addicted to it. Two weeks isn’t enough time with you. I want more.”
Her gaze snapped to his. Her breathing grew rapid and shallow, and she stared at him, wide-eyed, like he’d just told her he’d murdered three people.
She surged to her feet in a flurry of sudden movement. She stripped her robe, dropping it to the floor behind her, then snatched her tan overcoat off the end of the bed, putting it on as she made a beeline for the exit.
“Two weeks, Cade. We agreed on two weeks, no more, no less, no strings attached. You don’t get to change the rules on a whim because you feel like it.” She strode from the room, her soft, bare footsteps fading through the suite. Seconds later, the door to the suite slammed shut.
Cade blew out a defeated breath. He ached to go after her, but experience with his sister told him Hannah needed time to cool off. He knew he’d changed the rules, but he had to take this chance. He had no idea if their relationship would even survive. Maybe it would fail. Maybe it would burn out in a few months.
He still had to take the chance. When he’d ended it with Amelia, he was positive he would never meet a single woman who’d accept him at face value, who wouldn’t use him for what she could gain from an alignment with his family.
Until Hannah. She was the first woman in a long time who made him believe in possibilities. That maybe women weren’t all the same. Maybe there were women out there who wanted the same things he did—someone honest with whom to fill the empty spaces. He was an old-fashioned kind of guy. He couldn’t deny it. He wanted someone to spend his life with, someone to curl around at the end of the day.
He hadn’t a clue if that was Hannah, but he had to find out. More than anything, he needed to prove to her not all men were like those self-serving jerks she’d managed to find. Hannah deserved to know she was beautiful—and worth the effort—the way she was.
All of which meant he couldn’t give her up without a fight. As he sat there, plans began to fill his mind. He was going to sweep one Hannah Miller clean off her feet, and he knew exactly where to start.
Chapter Nine
Hannah pulled open her apartment door and froze. Once again, Cade stood out in the hallway, reminiscent of the night he’d shown up in his pajamas. This time, however, he wore a suit. A crisp, light blue shirt, a dark blue tie, and navy slacks topped by a navy jacket. She loved him in a suit. The ensemble fit him to perfection and made her heart beat a little faster.
He also wore glasses, the kind with no frames that all but disappeared on his face. Somehow, they made him appear smarter. Intellectual.
What he held in his hand, however, gained her full attention. Her red stilettos dangled from his left hand, and over his left arm lay a black garment bag.
“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” As the words left her mouth, Hannah immediately regretted them. What a stupid thing to say. Except she didn’t know what else to say. He’d been calling and texting several times a day since she’d left him in his hotel room two days before. She hated avoiding him, but she didn’t know how to face him, either. He wanted things she couldn’t give him, because sooner or later, their relationship would end. He was from a different world, and one day, he’d wake up and realize he didn’t want her.
He reached up to touch the edge of the frames and nodded absently.
“Forgot I had them on. I’ve been in meetings all day. I need them mostly to read, but I’ve gotten so used to them I sometimes forget they’re there.” He stuck a hand in his right pocket, pulled out his fist, then turned it over and opened it. In his palm sat the red lace panties she’d left at his hotel, now carefully folded. “You haven’t returned my calls. I figured you might like these back.”
She ought to apologize, at the very least for the way she’d left, but she wasn’t sorry. She had boundaries she needed to reset. He’d gotten far too important and she had to put a stop to it now. Cade McKenzie was supposed to be a toy, a sexy little fling with a definite ending date. No more, no less, and no damn strings. She liked it that way. Preferred it that way.
The thought of setting her heart in someone else’s hands terrified her. She’d spent her life keeping people at a distance. It was easier than getting attached to someone who’d leave in the end. She’d learned the lesson the hard way growing up in the home. Her life had been a series of relationships ending in heartbreak. Kids she’d befriended left the group home, never to be seen or heard from again. Families she’d lived with eventually sent her back, and when she turned eighteen, she aged out of the system and she was let go.
The few times she’d tried to have something more than fleeting had turned out disastrously, proving she didn’t need anybody but herself. How Maddie ended up under her radar she had no idea. It was a pathetic way to live, but it served its purpose over the years.
“Thank you.” Her face heated a million degrees as she reached out to take her panties from his palm. She’d been so upset when she’d left his hotel, she’d marched back to the store wearing nothing but Maddie’s tan overcoat. She hadn’t even realized she’d forgotten her meager clothing until Maddie pointed out her bare feet and asked where her heels had gone.
Apparently, Cade intended to torment her some more, for he reached into the left inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out the cupless bra that went with her ensemble. One corner of his mouth quirked upward as he held it out to her, dangling off the end of his index finger. “And this.”
She darted a nervous glance out into the hallway behind him. God, if one of her neighbors walked by…Luckily for her, the hallway was deserted.
She snatched the bra from his finger. His mouth twitched, eyes glittering in triumph.
Next he held out the shoes.
“These you’re going to need.” When she took the shoes from him, he picked up the garment bag and held it out to her as well. “They go well with this.”
She stared at the bag for a moment, then met his gaze again and shook her head in confusion. “What is it?”
He shook the bag, and she accepted but didn’t open the zipper.
“It’s a dress. Handpicked. Chris helped me guess your size. She assures me it’ll look fabulous on you.” Cade reached into his left front pocket again, this time pulling out an envelope and held it out to her. “You’re going to need them to go with this. It’s an invitation. The auction is tomorrow at six. That’s the part you didn’t let me finish. I can’t refuse this auction. It’s a worthy cause, and it’s too late to find another bachelor to take my place. Should you decide to accept, Chris’s number is on the invitation. She said to tell you she’ll take care of everything. You just have to show up.”
Hannah drew her brows together and shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
He took the garment bag from her hand, set the hanger on the doorknob, and hooked her around the waist, tugging her flush against his length.
Hannah’s breath caught in her throat. The full press of his body was more sensation than she could handle. The warm, solid press of all those muscles made her forget her name. The scent of his cologne went to her head in a dizzying rush. The determined look in his eye made her weak in the knees. Cade was large and in control, and everything inside of her trembled benea
th the power of him.
His fingers caressed her back where he held her close. “I’d like you to attend the auction. I want you to bid. On me. They’ll be handing out bidding numbers. All you have to do is raise yours and make sure nobody outbids you. Chris will take care of the funds.”
So, that’s what this is all about. God, he had no idea what he did to her. How much she yearned to go to the auction and stake her claim on him. Which was why she wouldn’t.
Hannah pushed out of his arms, left the garment bag hanging on the door, and turned, moving into the living room to lay her belongings on the couch. “I think maybe it’s best if you do go out with someone else. It’s why I left the hotel the other day. I can’t give you what you want. This is more than we agreed on. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore.”
Cade remained silent behind her for a long, unnerving minute. Hands braced on the back of the couch, she couldn’t bring herself to turn and face him. She hated the thought of ending their time together, but he asked for more than she could give.
Behind her, the door closed with a soft snap. Moments later, he laid the garment bag over the back of the couch beside her, and his warmth filled her back. “I’m a patient man, and I have all the time in the world. I’m willing to wait you out, but I’m not giving up.”
For a moment, Hannah couldn’t breathe. She stiffened, a vague, pathetic attempt to put some last-ditch space between them. “I believe that’s called stalking.”
He had the audacity to laugh, light and amused; then he leaned into her. His entire length pressed into her, from his firm, broad chest against her back down to his lean hips against her ass. His erection pressed into the cleft between her cheeks. His warm breath feathered over her neck. His lips moved against the delicate skin of her earlobe as he leaned into her.