by Iris Blobel
Flynn rubbed his face and let out a deep sigh. “Strictly confidential?”
“Only if you’re ready to talk.”
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. “I found out that I’ve got a little girl. Her mother died last Christmas and the grandparents want me to take over custody.”
She sat still for a moment. “The present?”
He nodded.
Moving her head from side to side, she slowly said, “I don’t know, Flynn. Don’t tell me you left a young mother on her own with a little baby, only to come here?”
His gaze shifted to the small framed photo in the corner of his desk as he pulled in his lips. “I didn’t know she was pregnant,” he said quietly. “If I had known I wouldn’t have let her go back.”
He raked his hand through his hair as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The emotions inside him nearly choked him as he struggled with the fact that he’d had no idea about the pregnancy and that he was a father.
“I’m sure that there’s a way via the Internet to work through your load without you having to come in every day. Emails are making life so much easier, I’m sure you can work something out.”
Looking up he flashed her a grateful smile. At the moment he had to leave her hanging without more details, but one day he would be ready to tell her more, and he knew until then she would be there for him.
“Thanks,” he said. “Thank you very much. I have Mum and Dad coming as well, but I’m not quite sure when.”
Joyce stood up and gave him a smile. “Don’t you worry about a thing here at work.”
Choking back a laugh he closed the door behind her and turned to go back to his work. Don’t worry about a thing. How was it that everyone was telling him to not worry? He hadn’t worried that much since Sarah had left him a few years earlier. In fact, that was about the only time he had really worried. Not knowing what had happened had made him sick to his stomach, to the point he had nearly starved himself. His body hadn’t coped. Two weeks in Queensland with his parents had put him back on track. Jenny had mothered him, the walks along the beach with his father had brought back sanity, and the occasional surf had taken away the stress. Understatement to say he owed them big time. The thing was, though, worrying wasn’t in his nature. At least not while he had been with Sarah. Her bubbly nature and positive outlook had rubbed off on him. With her approach of “what’s meant to be is meant to be,” she had taken about anything in her stride and seen the positives in it. It had been like learning from the master.
But how could he not worry? He had become a father within a week. He wondered how Sarah had dealt with it. Had she been scared or worried?
11
With her child-sized suitcase and doll in arm, Nadine looked even smaller and frailer than the previous day. The lines of Flynn’s mouth tightened a fraction more as he spotted the little girl. Good grief, he was nervous. With only a few long steps he walked over to Teresa, William, and Nadine. Like the day before, he kneeled down and looked into his daughter’s eyes.
“Hello, Miss Muffin. It seems we’re going to spend some time together.”
He noticed Nadine’s nod only came hesitantly. Her eyes did not reflect the warmth he had seen the previous day when William had held her in his arms.
He pointed to her suitcase. “Is this yours?”
She nodded again and then looked to William. “Grandpa?” she whispered.
William picked her up and gave her a massive hug. “You’ll be fine, love. And remember, Grandma and Grandpa love you very much.”
Nadine hung onto him even tighter, and that nearly broke Flynn’s heart.
“Hey Miss Muffin, how about we ask your friend Emma to join us for lunch?”
She slowly turned to face Flynn. “Could we?”
The corner of his mouth turned into a small smile. “Of course we can.”
Flynn picked up the suitcase while Nadine gave William another hug, then he shook William’s hand, and the two men exchanged a few pleasantries before he nodded towards Teresa. Nadine shook her grandmother’s hand.
“Goodbye Grandma.”
Teresa leaned forward and air kissed Nadine’s cheek. “See you darling. We will give you a call as soon as we get back home. All will be fine.”
Flynn didn’t miss the cold interactions between his little girl and her grandma and remembered why he had always disliked Teresa. A quick thought went through his mind as to why they carted off Nadine to him. Yes, it seemed like carted off, and not just because he was her father. He’d always known that Teresa wasn’t the mother of the year. It hadn’t been easy for Sarah, with Teresa’s strict stance on many aspects of her daughter’s life, crossed with a lack of interest.
It didn’t surprise him, that Teresa wasn’t interested in raising another child.
Guilt flooded through Flynn, and anger, sadness, as he wondered how much help Sarah’s parents had given her to raise the little girl.
“Ready?” Flynn asked as he held out his arm to scoop her off William’s.
She nodded and reached out for him.
“William. Teresa. I’ll catch up with you soon,” he said as he nodded to them. Then Flynn turned around and walked towards the reception.
Flynn looked at Nadine. “Are you scared?”
She nodded.
“So am I.”
“Mum said you weren’t scared of anything.”
He choked back a smile. “Did she?”
“Hm-hm.”
“Miss Muffin, I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life.”
Her childish giggle was like music to his ears. “Of me?”
“Yup.”
“I’m not scary.”
Though enjoying the small moment, he knew the ice wasn’t broken yet, but it was a baby step forward for both. One step at a time.
They reached the reception desk, and Flynn placed the suitcase on the floor and sat Nadine onto the counter. He gently touched her nose with his fingers. “Phew. Good to know you’re not scary. So I suppose we’ll have a good time then.”
Jack walked over. “Sir? Can I help you?”
Flynn nodded. “Yes please. I’m wondering whether I can talk to Emma Gallagher.”
At first Jack’s face was blank, but then the penny dropped. “You’re Mr. McCormack, aren’t you?”
Slightly perplexed, Flynn nodded.
“Em and I share a flat. She’s told me about Nadine and you.” He looked at Nadine. “Sorry, honey, but Em’s not in today. She’s got a day off.”
Nadine looked at Flynn with disappointment written all over her face.
“Sir?” Jack turned back to Flynn. “I believe she’s given her phone numbers to your daughter.”
The girl beamed and held out her arms to Flynn, who held onto her as she jumped off the counter. She quickly sat down on the ground, opened her suitcase and removed a little photo album. Flynn kneeled next to her when she passed him a piece of paper with two numbers. The corners of his mouth twitched into a sly smile.
Winking at her, he said, “You’re one in a million.” He stood up, thanked Jack and walked over to the seats with Nadine.
“Would you like to talk to her or should I?”
Eyes widened in surprise she quietly said, “Grandma says I’m not allowed to use the phone.”
Of course she had, he thought. Flynn took his phone out of his jacket and dialled the number. “How about burgers for lunch?” he asked Nadine while he waited for Emma to answer.
She nodded excitedly.
“Emma speaking.”
“Ms. Emma Gallagher?” Flynn replied.
“Yes?”
“My apologies for ringing you on your private number–”
“Who’s this?” Emma interrupted him.
“This is Flynn McCormack. Nadine’s father.”
* * *
* * *
Emma looked around to sit. Why on earth would he call her? And, more importantly, why did she s
uddenly have wobbly legs? “Oh. How can I help you?”
There was some hesitation in Flynn’s voice. “We… um… I just picked up Nadine and we… um… we are about to have lunch.” He paused. “Nadine wanted to ask whether you’d like to join us.”
Emma was a bit surprised by the question. “Oh… I’d love to, but by the time I get organised and get into the city, it’ll take me at least an hour.”
Some cracking noise came over the mobile, and she imagined him kneeling down to let Nadine listen as well. “Not to worry. Whereabouts do you live? We can come and pick you up.”
“Are you sure?” She stood up and went into the bathroom to look into the mirror. She rolled her eyes. Lots of work needed!
“I have a feeling you could be living in Sydney and Miss Muffin here would still like me to pick you up.”
“She’s such a cutie,” she said more to herself than Flynn, in response.
“Let’s hope so.”
A melancholy frown appeared on her forehead. She felt for both of them.
“Actually, I think there’s a hamburger restaurant chain somewhere close to here with a nice playground.”
There was more rustling on the other end of the line. “I haven’t got anything to write on. Could you text me your address? My number should’ve come up in your calls received list.”
Emma grew nervous. Mobiles weren’t her best friend, but she agreed. “No worries. Will do.”
They hung up and heat rushed to Emma’s cheeks. With moist palms she tried to figure out how to get hold of the call received menu, but it was as easy as he had said, and within minutes she had sent off her address. Rushing back into the bathroom, she went through her morning routine – though very much belated at lunch time. Emma was looking forward to seeing Nadine again, but also to get out of the house. She had planned to go for a swim in the morning, but Jack’s kiss had played havoc in her head – and watching telly had been a nice distraction. Even though they were boring programs.
It didn’t take more than thirty minutes for Flynn and Nadine to arrive. Emma had just organised the laundry when the doorbell rang.
Excitement added some shine to little Nadine’s eyes. “Hello Emma.”
Emma kneeled and gave the little girl a hug. “How are you, sweetheart?”
Nadine shrugged. “Okay, I guess,” she said quietly.
With a very tender touch Emma tucked a curl of hair behind the girl’s ear. “I know it doesn’t help right now, but you’ve got to give it time.”
Nadine placed her small hands on both of Emma’s cheeks and said with a voice just above a whisper. “I want my mum.”
And these words tugged at Emma’s heart, sending an unexpected jab of pain through her body. She struggled hard to fight back the tears, but as soon as Nadine threw her arms around Emma’s neck the first tear trickled down her cheek. Emma leaned her head back and gazed into Flynn’s eyes. He took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly. As soon as he averted her gaze, she assumed he was struggling with emotions as well.
Flynn rocked on his feet from heel to toe. “How about we have something to eat,” he said quietly.
12
Flynn watched Nadine enjoying the ice cream. In between licking, she mentioned it had been a while since she’d had ice cream. Grandma never gave her anything sweet. She smiled, and in her hesitant way, thanked Flynn.
“I’d better put that on the shopping list,” he joked, though serious were his intentions.
And even though he was able to see a wee smile on her face, there was no response. It wore him out. For the life of it, he couldn’t understand why she kept her distance. He hadn’t mentioned dolls or fairy movies again since the previous day in the park, and made sure the bed sheets he had bought that morning were of hearts in various forms of the colour pink. It had given him a bit of a shiver when he saw Alice, his cleaning lady, prepare the room for her. Pink! He choked back a smile and looked at Nadine. Her face was covered with the white ice cream and he shook his head with a smile as he watched Emma wipe it off.
The girl leaned over to Emma and whispered something in her ear. Another stab into Flynn’s heart. Emma looked at Flynn and nodded to the playground. He understood and without looking back, he approved. Nadine hopped off the bench and walked over to the attached indoor playground.
Flynn stared after his daughter. Her movements, her curly hair, and even the way Nadine constantly moved a strand of it out of her face reminded him of her mother. A tentative touch on his hands interrupted his thoughts.
“Flynn?”
“Hmm.”
He slowly moved his head towards her, and then looked at her hand on his. She removed her hand gradually. “You’ve got to give her time.”
“I know,” he said with a scratchy voice. “I know.”
“I don’t know her grandparents and I’m not judging them, but somehow–” She hesitated and let out a deep sigh. “I can’t help but think there are a few wires crossed.”
His eyes held hers. “I don’t understand.”
Biting her lips, she looked over to Nadine, then back at Flynn. “She expected you to know she was going to stay with you. Your remark about organising movies for an occasional visit was interpreted as you not wanting her.”
“But that’s not true,” he replied. Restraining his frustration, he looked around and then turned back to Emma. “I’m sorry,” he said shaking his head regretfully.
With what seemed concern in her voice, she furrowed her brows and said, “I know, but I don’t think Nadine understands. And I have a feeling it’s not as simple as telling her, I’m afraid. But I think you just have to be patient and take one day at a time.”
Closing his eyes he leaned his face against his fist, and after a deep sigh, he nodded and looked at Emma. “I honestly do appreciate all your help and time. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel being dragged into all of this. I’m sorry, though I’m really glad you’re around.”
She offered him a small, shy smile, and boy, oh, boy if that didn’t make his knees weak.
“That’s okay. I like Nadine. And–” She hesitated.
He looked up waiting for her to finish her sentence, but she didn’t. “And?” he asked after a moment of silence.
She leaned back and with an apparent hesitation or reluctance faced him. “My parents died a few years back. I can sympathise with Nadine’s loss, and understand her anger and grief, which it seems she doesn’t know how to handle.”
He studied her thoughtfully, not sure how to take this latest bit of information. He finally said, “I’m sorry. Really am. What happened?”
Letting out a long breath, she replied, “Car accident.”
He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “How are you coping?”
* * *
* * *
Emma glanced out the window as she watched the raindrops run down the glass. Chewing on her lower lip, a reluctant smile tugged at her mouth. Taking each day at a time, she wanted to say. Some days were better than others and she just coped, she thought. But there was just no way she would talk about her parents with Flynn. She missed them with such an intense longing she sometimes considered it a bottomless emptiness even though she was amongst people. No way would she open a bottle of emotions she was scared of not being able to lock again. Yet, before she had a chance to reply, Nadine was next to the table all hot and worn out, ready to go.
When the rain outside settled, they decided to walk along the beach foreshore. Nadine quickly held onto Emma’s hand. She looked up at her new friend and smiled. And at that moment, a rainbow caught her eye.
She let go of Emma’s hand and pointed up at the sky. “Look, there’s Mum.”
Flynn shot around and looked up. “What the –”
But before he was able to finish his exclamation of surprise, Emma had already placed her hand over his mouth. “The rainbow! She thinks her mum is a rainbow fairy, remember?” she whispered.
He took her hand and shook his head. “
Yes… vaguely… thanks.” Slightly off guard, he rubbed his hand over his face and hair when he realised he still held her hand in his. Then he moved his head to face her. A timid smile appeared on Emma’s face and he couldn’t help but notice how the warmth in her eyes stirred all sorts of emotions in his body.
“Grandma thinks Mum’s in heaven with the angels, but I know she’s up there with the rainbow fairies,” Nadine said as Flynn let go of Emma’s hand. She sighed when she turned to hold on to Emma’s hand again. “She’s up there looking after me,” she whispered.
13
The ringing of the phone woke Emma. Fumbling around, she managed to answer it.
“Hello?” Emma had to blink her eyes a couple of times before she was able to read the clock across her room. 1:36 am.
“Emma? It’s Flynn McCormack here.”
Emma rubbed her eyes and instinctively pulled the duvet closer to her chin. “Yes?”
The stillness was deafening. There was no reply, but she could hear his gentle breathing and knew he hadn’t hung up.
“Are you still there? You just woke me in the middle of the night and I’m–”
“I need help.”
Emma yawned. “At one-thirty in the middle of the night?”
“She won’t stop crying.”
Leaning on one elbow, she asked quietly, “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
Growing somewhat impatient, she moved the hair out of her face. “Okay. How about you give me some details?”
Another deep breath. “Can you come over?”
“What?” She almost screamed. “What?” she asked more quietly.
“I need help. Nadine’s sobbing in the room, missing her mum.”
“What happened? What did you say?”
“Hey, what makes you think I said something? We had dinner, she had a shower, and I put her to bed.”