by Iris Blobel
Following Nadine’s gaze, Emma’s throat tightened. She was hurting, too. Considering the girl in front of her was only six, her little mind was working with a lot more maturity.
“I don’t know, honey.”
“Emma? What was your dad’s name?”
Slightly surprised by the question, Emma choked back a chuckle. “Tom. Thomas Gallagher. He came out from Ireland when he was little. His dad, my grandpa, always told me stories about their travels on the boat.”
“Will you tell them to me as well?”
“I certainly will, but not today. How about we head off home?”
Nadine’s head sunk, sadness flooding her face. “It’s not my home,” she whispered.
A pain squeezed Emma’s heart. “Sweetie,” she said as she moved towards her friend and kneeled down to take Nadine into her arms. “I know.”
15
Emma joined Flynn on the balcony. “She’s asleep now.”
He leaned against the railing and crossed one foot over the other. “Thanks.”
She pulled her sleeves over her hands, and tucked them under her arms.
“Can I offer you a drink?”
Moving her head from side to side, she replied, “No thanks. I think I’d better go now. I’ve got a few things to organise for tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry I got you into this mess.”
She hesitated for only a moment before she shook her head. “It’s okay. I like being with Nadine.”
He reached out and took one of her hands with his and quietly said, “I honestly appreciate all your help. And with the mess, I meant the trouble you got into at work. Jack told me the other day that you’re asked to take unpaid leave.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe he did.” Letting out a sigh, she said, “But why would he tell you?”
With a shrug he replied, “I have a feeling he’s a very protective of you. He kinda asked me not to call again in the middle of the night and that you’re in trouble already at work.”
“Work’s okay,” she quickly added and ignored the reference in regards to Jack. She had no intention for him to know how much trouble Nadine’s grandmother had actually put her into.
“Sure?”
Emma didn’t say anything, but his gaze on her made her feel uneasy about his words. He gently pulled her closer to him and their eyes locked. She studied him but didn’t know what to make of this last move.
“I think I’m going to need help with Nadine,” he said quietly.
She managed a small, tentative smile and shook her head as his jaw clenched.
“Look, I’m out of my depth here. I don’t think you understand. I can’t just look after a little child. I mean… What kind of…” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “What kind of grandparents just leave their grandchild with a stranger and walk off for a fortnight?”
Emma looked at him. She didn’t know what to say. Bottom line was, he was right. She tilted her head to look at him. “But you’re her dad,” she spoke softly.
His eyes met hers, and for a brief moment there was just silence as if he was carefully picking his words. “I can’t be her dad. I don’t know how to be a dad. I’ve got a job to do.”
Emma choked back a chuckle. “Nobody knows how to be a dad. I’m sure Nadine’s mother didn’t know how to be a mum and was scared. You two have to be patient and work at it.”
She felt his heavy gaze on her.
“I need help.”
Biting her lip, Emma looked away.
From the corner of her eye she caught his lingering gaze on her. “Let me rephrase that. We need help.”
Emma took a deep breath and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn’t. She wasn’t a mother either. In fact, she had lost her own mother. Yet, wasn’t that more reason to help the little girl? His hand touched hers and he gently pulled her closer in again. Emma slowly tilted her head to see his face, and her hand moved up onto his chest to keep space between them.
“I’d better go.” With that she turned and left. She needed to go. Needed to get away from the situation. And why on earth were her knees wobbly? And what on earth was it with her heart skipping a beat when he touched her? Something was not going right.
* * *
* * *
Flynn glanced after her and then turned his head to look towards the water. The heaviness of their situation suddenly sat on his shoulders. Taking a deep breath, he watched her walk along the road to her car. As he leaned forward with his elbows on the railing, he remembered what he had just said. He was blaming Nadine’s grandparents for leaving the little girl with a stranger, but he more or less had just asked a stranger to help him out. He wanted that petite young lady with her tawny short hair in more than just one way.
His eyes moved over to the Bay and he couldn’t believe that for the first time in so many years, two women were tugging at his heart at the same time. Make that three, he thought, thinking of his daughter. Flynn watched the water and remembered how he had camped out with Saz at the beach. They had sat side by side, his arm around her shoulders and Saz snuggling into his chest…
“Flynn? Do you think we could just run away on our own?”
He kissed the side of her forehead and dreamt alongside with her. “Living in a small cottage by the beach.”
Sarah lifted her head to look him in the eyes and smiled.
“Saz, I promise as soon as I get this law degree in Melbourne, we can afford something by the water.”
She moved as if she could snuggle into him even closer. “Flynn?” She wiped the tear from her eye. “I don’t want you to go. Please stay with me.”
Flynn turned a bit and placed his finger to lift her chin. “Snookums, you know I’ll have to do that.” He kissed her gently. “Give it a go. I’m sure you will like it once you’ve given it a try.”
“I don’t like the big cities. They scare me.”
A smile spread slowly up to his eyes. “You’ll be with me, and nothing scares me.”
“You’ll be studying most of the time, Flynn.”
He leaned her back onto the sand and kissed her. First each tip of her fingers, then her nose, and finally her soft lips.
“I love you, Saz,” he said in between kisses.
Saz took his face into her hands, rubbing her thumbs along his cheeks. “I love you, too, Flynn. I promise you I’ll wait for you here if you promise me you’ll be coming back.”
Flynn looked into grey eyes. “I promise,” he said with a hoarse voice, and kissed her again – with as much passion as he felt inside for her.
16
“Hi Naddie!”
Emma’s mood brightened when she saw Nadine in front of the door. She had agreed to look after the girl again that day as Flynn had an important business meeting he was unable to cancel. She had been so bored the previous day with watching telly and doing her washing, that she had agreed straight away. The shock that she had to take the days off was still hurting so deeply inside that she wasn’t able to get herself ready to do anything she usually did on her days off – no shopping, no swimming or gym, no house cleaning, and definitely no visit to her parents’ grave.
“So, are you ready to go to the zoo?”
Nadine beamed. “Flynn–” she hesitated and looked around, but then turned back to Emma. “Dad packed some lunch for us.”
Emma’s eyes met his, but then she turned her attention back to Nadine. “He’s quite a dad, isn’t he? Saves us time and we get to go a bit earlier. How about you get the sunscreen out of my room and we put some on you as well?”
Nadine rushed upstairs and into Emma’s room.
Flynn stepped closer towards Emma. She instinctively pulled gently on her low cut pants which were hanging on her hips just enough to close the gap with her bright red tank top.
“I’m sorry for the other night,” she heard him saying even before she had moved her head to look at him.
She just nodded. “How did things go yesterday?”
“So you didn’t try to talk to her?”
“Oh, for crying out loud!”
“Did you pay attention to her, try to find some common interest?”
“Good grief, Emma. Common interest? She’s six and I’m …. well, a few years older.”
Emma rolled her eyes and her mouth twitched into a smile. “How about dinner here tonight? Jack’s away for the weekend, and I’ll cook.”
He raised his eyebrow in query.
“And you observe,” she added.
“How to cook?”
She chuckled. “How to interact with your daughter!”
Flynn smiled and she waited for a reply, but Nadine had joined them back in the kitchen with sunscreen all over her face, making her look pale as a ghost. He shook his head and his mouth curved into an unconscious smile as he took Nadine’s face and gently rubbed in the sunscreen.
Emma moved closer to him. “Now, see? How hard was that? Let the instinct take over.”
He smudged some left over sunscreen on Emma’s nose. “Six o’clock, I’ll be here.” And he left.
* * *
* * *
Nadine was exhausted by the time they returned to the house in the late afternoon. Emma figured from their talks that Nadine’s head was still full of stories and images of animals from all over the world, but the little baby elephant and an injured monkey had been her favourite that day.
“How about a little snack and then we start preparing some dinner?”
“What are we having?”
“D’you like spaghettis?”
Nadine’s face lit up. “I love spaghettis. Grandma never made spaghettis.”
There was a little twinge in Emma’s stomach. “Well, spaghettis it is then.”
“Go and wash your hands and then we’ll get everything prepared.”
Emma showed Nadine where to help and what to do, and within a very short time dinner was all prepared. While Nadine had a quick shower, Emma set the table. To her surprise, Flynn was almost on time – with a bottle of red in his hand.
Emma smiled. “It’s not about me, but your daughter.”
He rolled his eyes. “I know,” he sighed and pulled out a small bottle of juice out of a carry bag. She laughed.
Tiny footsteps indicated Nadine was finished and on her way back into the kitchen. When Flynn didn’t say anything, Emma gently nudged him in his ribs. He furrowed his eyebrows.
His mouth curved a tad upward and he walked over to Nadine. As he bent down to his knees, he asked, “Hi, Muffin. How was the zoo?”
“Good.” Hesitation was written all over her face.
He rubbed his hand across his mouth as if trying to hide his grin. “Just good? Will you tell me about the animals you saw while we have dinner?”
Nadine nodded. “Yes.”
Flynn held out his hand and she took it. He picked her up and went over to the set table. When he looked over at Emma, she thought she noticed a twinkle in his eyes – the twinkle of a father’s pride. However, she realised he still had a long way to go.
Nadine was tired, but she still accounted for all the animals they had seen and all the adventure she’d had with Emma. And doing his best, Flynn seemingly tried to ask the right questions and to think on a child’s level. Emma sensed his gaze and full attention on her whenever she interacted with his little girl, and she thought he was slowly getting the hang of it. Nadine’s laughter brought a few happy lines to his face. Emma watched him closely and would have given a penny for his thoughts. Might Nadine remind him of her mother? Was he thinking of her?
By the time Emma had taken the dishes to the kitchen and tidied up, Nadine’s eyes were heavy and she struggled with keeping them open.
“Would you like to stay here overnight, sweetie?” Emma looked around to Flynn. “That is, if it’s okay with your dad?”
Nadine just nodded.
Emma looked over to Flynn, who nodded in agreement as well. “It’s been a big day for her. It’s okay with me, but I hope we’re not imposing–”
“No, not at all. I like her company. And I don’t like being on my own.” She smiled as she picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.
Flynn found two wine glasses and had moved into the lounge room. When Emma came back he offered her a glass of wine.
“Thanks.”
“Thank you for dinner. And your help.”
She sat down and watched the wine swirl in the glass, too afraid to look over at him. “I have a feeling if I drink the wine, it’ll knock me down as well. It’s been quite a day.”
He sat next to her and she stiffened, her hand tightening around her wine glass. Biting her lip, she slowly moved her head towards him. Mistake! Big mistake. When their eyes met, he smiled a deviously handsome smile and the silence in the room echoed in her ears.
As he took a deep breath, he placed his glass onto the table next to the sofa. “I’d better not keep you up too long then,” he said as he turned back to her. “Thanks again for having Nadine.” He smiled.
She was still biting her lip.
With an arched eyebrow he said quietly, “Sweetheart, lips are there to be kissed. Not to bite on them until they bleed.”
Emma placed her fingers on her lips instantly, and then she blushed. Good grief. She was about to turn her head away from him, when he slowly brushed away a strand of her hair. Flynn took her fingers into his hand and cupped her chin with his other hand. He hesitated for a moment before he leaned forward to touch her lips with his. His touch sparked shivers down her spine as his fingers traced along her jaw line. Emma’s hands moved to his flat chest to gently push him away, but when she sensed his hands exploring the hollows of her back, she just closed her eyes and kissed back. Mixed sensations rushed through Emma’s body, and she slowly relaxed next to him and sunk into his cushioning embrace.
Suddenly, something startled them. They both pulled back. The phone rang. As soon as Emma heard Jack’s voice she stood up and walked over.
“I’m sorry but I’d better get that one,” she said with a croaky voice.
* * *
* * *
Flynn merely nodded and as she walked out into the other room, he stood and left. Thoughts were running through his head about what had just happened, and he cursed the caller for such inconvenient timing. That kiss could have led to much more, yet he was wondering whether much more would have been right. Admittedly, he was thinking of Saz a lot, but his daughter’s best friend was causing all sorts of mixed emotions in him. As soon as he was in his car, he turned on the music full blast and tried to clear his mind by driving through the well lit Melbourne streets. But even Cold Chisel couldn’t do the trick that night.
17
Flynn was leaning against his fridge, drinking the milk straight out of the carton. He shook his head remembering how Saz had always told him off. She would thrust a glass into his hand and say, “This is why they invented drinking glasses.” With a slight smirk, he wiped his mouth. He missed her. And had every single day since he had left her behind, promising to come back for her. But when he had, she hadn’t been there. Gone.
He pushed away from the fridge and went for a shower. The morning jog through the park didn’t refresh his mind as intended. It was evident to him it would take much more than a good run to clear his head. There he was, early thirties and suddenly had a daughter living with him. Though there was pride mixed with fear, what concerned him more was Emma – he couldn’t stop thinking about her. The thought of their kiss the previous night had kept him tossing and turning all night like a hormonal teenager – the same inner upheaval of his emotions when he had fallen for Saz. It had been a while since he’d enjoyed a woman’s company. Even longer since he’d yearned to kiss a woman. But being around Emma made him do just that, and it scared the heck out of him. It’d only been less than a week that he had known her.
“Morning!” He smiled, first at Emma then he looked down to Nadine. He lowered himself, kneeling on one knee so he was at her height. “Hi, muffin. Have you had breakfast yet?”
Nadine slowly moved her head from side to side, and from the corner of his eyes Flynn noticed how she took Emma’s hand. It hurt. Why on earth did that have to be so difficult?
“Pancakes?”
Nadine beamed and said, “Yes please. That’s my favourite.”
Mental note, Flynn, she likes pancakes for breakfast!
He stepped aside as Nadine and Emma entered the apartment.
“Hi,” was all Emma said. A simple and quiet, Hi. He had no idea what to expect after the previous night.
He smiled. “Hi.” And gave her a kiss on her cheek. “Pancakes?” he asked with a grin.
There was something about her smile. It was warm, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “No thanks, but a cup of tea if you’ve got some.”
They all went into his small kitchen. As he prepared the pancakes, he told Emma where to find the teabags and cutlery to set the table.
“I invited Emma to come for dinner one day,” Nadine said. “I told her how Mum–” The little girl looked over at Flynn, and with hesitation went on. “–how my mum taught me to make a pasta salad.”
Flynn smiled. “Sounds good. Did mum have anything with the salad?”
Nadine moved the pieces of pancake on the plate as she shook her head and said quietly, “No. I heard her once saying to her friend we couldn’t afford any meat with it.”
Slowly placing his hands onto the bench Flynn dropped his head. It was like a stab in his heart, and the guilt inside ate away at him. He turned towards Nadine as he tried to figure out how to respond. Emma placed a hand on his arm, and he appreciated the gesture. Sighing inwardly, he put on a smile and asked, “Would you like me to buy some burgers to grill on the barbeque?”