by Iris Blobel
The tears began to sting behind her eyes as she choked back a sob. “Did he really… you know–” she sighed. “Did he really hurt them?”
“Honest to the core. I saw the bruises. And I saw the girls a few days later all shaken up.”
Emma looked around, unable to believe what she was hearing. Why would everyone tell her those things about Jack? Why did she believe it? Why should she? Okay, there were odd moments when she wondered about his opinions – especially his set mind on children. But violent? She shook her head.
“People can change, Frank.”
He nodded. “I agree. We’re just warning you, and leaving the rest up to you.” Leaning forward again, he wiped her tear with his thumb. “More importantly, though, go and get your friendship back on track with Jacqui. She misses you, and vice versa.”
Using a serviette to wipe her nose, Emma noticed a familiar figure coming into the restaurant. Flynn’s mother, Jenny.
The café wasn’t busy yet, but the first hotel guests were having their breakfast. It was an atmosphere Emma enjoyed. The buzz of the morning with the smell of coffee, the smell of fresh bread, pastries, the clatter of dishes – she loved it. It was a perfect start to her day.
Jenny came closer and Emma watched her every step. Jenny nodded in a gesture to say hello.
“I could say I was in the area, but I’m not a good liar.” Jenny forced a smile. “May I sit down?”
Frank stood and moved aside.
“Thanks, Frank. Much appreciated!” Emma turned to Jenny and gestured to the free seat. “Of course. Have a seat. Would you like a cuppa? Or breakfast?”
“Coffee would be nice.”
“I’ll bring it right away.” Frank replied.
“I had to give Flynn a lift to the office so we could have the car today. I asked him where you worked, and was hoping you’d have five minutes to spare.”
Emma nodded. “I start in half an hour.” Smiling, she sipped on her cup of tea.
“You like Nadine.”
Emma nodded again. No denying that. She really liked the girl.
“You wouldn’t agree with us taking her to Queensland, would you?”
She nearly spat tea all over the table. Still trying to catch her breath, she nodded again.
Jenny sighed as she slouched into the seat. “We need your help then.”
Emma’s eyes widened and she stared at the woman in front of her. “We?”
“Carl and me.”
Emma closed her eyes and massaged her temples with her index fingers for a moment. Confused — actually she was more than confused. Was she actually part of this conversation? “Could we step back here for a second, please?” Emma opened her eyes and met Jenny’s stare. “You need my help with what, and why?”
“Love, I know it sounds crazy. Flynn is everything to us. We love him dearly and we never stood in his way when he made a decision how to live his life – whether we believed it to be right or wrong. We love little Nadine. She’s delightful, gorgeous, and all a grandparent could ask for.”
Uneasiness spread through her. Her body tensing. There was a hesitation, but she remained silent.
Jenny continued. “Yet, this time we feel we need to intervene. I’d love to take Nadine with me to Queensland, because she needs a stable environment to grieve and to move on with her life. But most importantly, she needs her father.”
Emma tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. No idea what to say. No idea why Flynn’s mother even considered asking her for help. “I’m not really sure I’m the right person to ask, because–”
“He’s very fond of you.”
“That may well be–”
“The last time he had that twinkle in his eyes was when he was with Sarah.”
What was it with the interrupting? And twinkle? Was she referring to the icy stare? Emma took a deep breath. “Ma’am. I honestly cannot interfere in his family life. It’s none of my business.”
The tone in Jenny’s voice turned noticeably cooler. “I thought you liked my granddaughter.”
A lump formed in Emma’s throat. “I adore her.”
Jenny grabbed her handbag, and Emma moved forward to place her hand on Jenny’s arm. “I honestly like her. I lost my parents as well. I know the ache inside. I know the scream that wants to be heard. I know the loneliness, and it doesn’t matter whether you’re a little tod, a teenager, or in your twenties. But with Flynn… I… he…” She sighed.
“You’re scared you will like him too much.”
Jenny’s gentle voice reminded her of her mother, and she closed her eyes and nodded.
“But he likes you, too.”
“There’d be no room for two new people in his life. It wouldn’t be fair on Nadine. She needs all the attention, all the love, and all the dad she can get.”
Jenny stood and placed her bag over her shoulder. “He’s a good boy.” She took a deep breath, and Emma wasn’t quite sure what to think of her hesitation. “I think I understand where you’re coming from, though, I would like him to have someone in his life again.” And with that, she left.
Emma watched her leaving the café, and her heart was heavier than it had been for a long time. She took the easy way out. Placing herself in front of the girl who was handed from one to another, and was so desperate for some love. Yet there was no way she would let Flynn’s charm work on her. She was heading towards something special with Jack, and she was happy.
Or was she?
26
Emma locked the car she had borrowed from Mary, glad the rusty tin on four wheels didn’t break down. As she turned around, she bumped into Flynn. He shot her a look that made her knees go weak instantly.
She blew out a sigh. “What do you want?”
A smile curved the corners of his mouth when he spoke. “Thanks Em, nice to see you, too.”
Throwing her keys into her bag she tried to move past him, but he held her back by holding her arm.
“Em,” he said quietly.
Glaring at him, she said, “The soft voice thing with a smile doesn’t work. What are you doing here?”
“Dinner tonight?”
She suppressed a laugh. “Yeah, right.” Using two fingers, she lifted his hand from her arm and dropped it. “Look, Flynn, I accepted that you want to do the whole fatherhood thing the easy way, but please accept that I find it selfish and hurtful to Nadine, and… and… and everything else. Probably just the way you left her mother to follow this dream job.”
Ouch! She knew she’d hit too low. Emma nibbled on her lower lip and waited for him to respond. His hands fell down beside his body, and tension reflected in his beautiful hazel brown eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Rubbing his eyebrow with his thumb he drew a deep breath. “I can see that’s the way it may look, but–” He hesitated, and shook his head as he looked down at his feet. “She said she’d come back but never did.”
Emma stared at him. “Why?” she asked, her hesitation clear in her voice.
He shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. I’d like to blame her parents, but–”
But, what? Emma had the urge to ask, but her throat tightened and she stayed quiet. When he finally looked up, his eyes reflected the hurt inside.
Taking her hand into his, he asked again. “Dinner?”
“Look, Flynn–”
“Jack?”
She gave a slow nod. But it wasn’t just Jack, it was him. And it was her. How could she possibly explain to him?
“He doesn’t like kids.”
Instantly, she pulled her hand out of his and glared at him. “Well, apparently neither do you.” And she walked off.
When his hand touched her on her shoulder, she turned around. “What do you want?” she asked with her voice raised. Tears burned behind her eyelids.
“I’m sorry.” He placed his finger underneath her chin and lifted her head, so she was looking up into his eyes. “I’m sorry. I love Nadine. I look at her and can’t be
lieve that I have created such a beautiful, humble, and nosy little thing. But how can I give her the best she deserves if I don’t know how?”
Emma felt his thumb wiping away a tear.
“She’s my little girl. My little memory of what I had with Sarah. But I can’t look after her. I cannot raise her and give her the attention she needs.”
“Yes, you can,” she said with a hoarse voice.
“And I like you. It scares me nearly to my bones how much I have come to like you within such a short time. Although I’m not sure why, considering the trouble you’ve been giving me.”
He lightly curved his hand around her nape, making her shiver. “Please give me a chance to explain my reasons. One small dinner.”
She sighed. “How do you know about Jack not liking kids?”
Shrugging nonchalantly. “Nadine told me.”
She arched her eyebrows in surprise. “She told you?”
His mouth curved into a devious grin. “We do talk here and there. She doesn’t like him much.”
Emma stepped back out of his zone. Sighing inwardly, still not sure whether this was the right decision, she replied just above a whisper, “One dinner. Nothing fancy, though. I’m not the fancy-dinner kinda girl.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so? Well, I suppose there surely is a fast food chain restaurant around?”
Emma smiled as she slapped his chest playfully. “No. But there’s a nice pub at the corner of Mason and Walker Street. I’ll be there tomorrow night, seven o’clock.”
“Deal.” He leaned forward, but Emma placed her hand against his chest and prevented him from getting too close to her.
“Seven o’clock. Don’t push it!”
She walked off, a thousand thoughts rushing through her head. Was she doing the right thing by seeing him? What was there to talk if he thought he wasn’t able to raise Nadine.
What about Jack?
Exhaling a big sigh, she tried to push all worries aside and take one little step after the other.
* * *
* * *
“I’m trying to get my head around the legal stuff. Obviously, this whole mess needs to be sorted as soon as possible. I assume Nadine needs to go to kindergarten.”
Emma rolled her eyes and looked around. She had been to the pub a couple of times with friends or her auntie, but it had never seemed as dark as tonight. The queue for the meal was already long. The staff behind the bar were busy filling drinks. The noise of people drowned out the music of some country singer Emma had never heard of. The walls as well as the carpet had been finished in dark brown colours, but both showed signs of wear and tear. The buzzer indicating that meals were ready went off literally nonstop, and people were constantly walking past her. Bad idea to come here.
She turned back and looked at him. What had he said about kindergarten? “Flynn, she’s six. I would have a good guess she’s already in school.”
He shrugged. “Well, school then.”
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She played with her drink, swirling the straw in her lemonade around. “So, your parents are happy to take her?”
Their number came up and they both went to the counter to pick up their meals. Once they were seated, Emma asked again. “So, your parents?”
She wasn’t sure how much he knew about Jenny’s visit to her work, or if he knew at all.
He didn’t look at her and suspicion crept up her neck. “Flynn?”
“They’ll take Nadine.”
“You’re kidding, aren’t you?” Her reply was somewhat louder than intended, and Flynn shot her a look.
“Look, it’s the best for the girl.”
Anger took over and tears welled behind Emma’s eyes. Nadine. The girl has a name and it’s Nadine. She took a deep breath and picked up a piece of her steak. Just get this over and done with. It’s none of your business! But it was her business. She liked Nadine dearly, and it hurt — it tore her apart to see her carted around from one to the next. It had become her business the day she was asked to look after her.
“So, you’re telling me you were lousy enough to leave a pregnant girlfriend behind, and now you’re a coward and pushing aside your daughter as well?”
“Excuse me?” Flynn stared at her. “First of all, it’s none of your business. Secondly, you got it all wrong –”
“You’ve made it my business,” she interrupted. “You and Naddie’s grandparents made it my business by asking me to look after her. You’ve made it my business by ringing me in the middle of the night and asking for help. You’ve made it my busi–”
Flynn held up his arms. “Okay, okay, I get the gist of it.” He placed the cutlery onto the table, blew out a deep breath, and started, “I didn’t know she was pregnant. Man, initially I didn’t even believe the little girl was mine. We were always careful.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Once I had settled in Melbourne, Saz came over for a few weeks. She was constantly sick and not happy here. I had to work long hours and she was lonely.” His discomfort was obvious. He sighed. “She went back to Tassie to see the doctor, and when I followed a few days later, she was gone.”
Emma stopped the fork half way to her mouth staring at him. “What do you mean gone?”
With his arms crossed, he leaned on the table and shrugged. “Gone!”
Disbelief went through her mind for a moment and it must have shown on her face as he continued. “Now I know, or better, since Teresa and William’s visit, she was already pregnant then and didn’t want to be in my way here. She obviously didn’t like it, let alone the thought of raising a child here.”
There was an awkward silence in the air, only momentarily broken by his cynical snort.
“Would you have gone back?”
He gave that a lot of thought, and finally just gave a shrug. “It’s easy to say yes, of course, but honestly? I don’t know. I always felt crushed in Launceston.”
As he took his glass he leaned back and gave a mock smile. “I suppose we’ll never know.”
They ate their dinner in silence. Each to their own thoughts.
The waiter came over to take the plates and offer desserts, but they both declined.
“Flynn?” she said carefully, and took a deep breath. “This is your child. Your blood runs through her veins. She was created with love. She was raised with love. Her heart beats for love.” She gazed up into his eyes. “You need to keep that heart beating.”
He rubbed his jawline. “Sweetheart, that’s exactly what I’m doing. I reckon the girl is better off with my parents.”
“For goodness' sake, Flynn.” With the sudden outburst, she startled even herself. “Stop saying 'the girl.' We’re talking about Nadine, and Nadine is your daughter, your flesh and blood. The result of your relationship with Sarah, and thus you should treat her with the respect she and Sarah deserve. Not to mention the memory and history between you two.”
But he didn’t respond.
Pausing briefly, it was like the answer was in his eyes. “That’s it, isn’t it?” she asked just above a whisper.
An expression of weariness crossed his face. “Is what?”
She tilted her head slightly to the side and cupped her hands around the empty wineglass. “That’s exactly it. Is it guilt that you left her behind? That’s what you’re reminded of every day, isn’t it?”
“Good grief, will you stop it? You’re worse than–” He opened his mouth but seemed unable to talk. A big sigh escaped him instead. “I think I’d better take you home.”
* * *
* * *
They walked along the streets in silence. It was a lovely spring evening, and the air was still warm but comfortable. Melbourne’s streets were busy as usual, even on a weekday evening. Plenty of locals were walking up and down the road along the shops, all doing their bit for the economy.
Lost in his thoughts, Flynn didn’t notice how quickly they had arrived at Emma’s house.
He turned towards Emma. Her words sti
ll rang in his ears, taunting him. A suffocating sensation tightened his throat as he met her eyes. He knew in his heart she might be right about why he would send his daughter off with his parents, but until he knew for sure, he wouldn’t go there. It made him ache. Ache for her. For Emma.
He scratched the back of his head. “Thanks for joining me for dinner.”
Emma moved a strand of hair out of her face. “Thanks for being honest with me.”
Flynn cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t like me, do you?”
Avoiding his stare, she hesitated with her answer. Probably trying to find the right words to say. “I think you’re the coldest person I’ve ever known. Egoistic and selfish.”
“Those two words mean the same thing.”
She shot him an icy glare.
With a deep breath he stared right past her, watching the couple across the road. When he looked back at her, she was watching him almost curiously. As if waiting for him to say something.
“Cute!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I think you’re cute,” he repeated.
Emma narrowed her eyes at him.
He flashed a grin. “You said I’m egoistic and selfish, which by the way, really is the same thing, and I think you’re cute.” Flynn pushed his hands deep into his pockets. All he wanted to do was touch her, but knew it was out of the question at the moment. He shrugged a shoulder. “Honestly, what on earth do you expect from me? My life’s turned into a rollercoaster. Within a short time I’ve become a father to a six-year-old girl, my parents are living with me treating me like a hormonal teenager, and to top it off, I’m slowly falling for a girl who thinks I’m a selfish jerk.”
With her mouth open, Emma stared at him. “I don’t think you’re a jerk,” she said with a hoarse voice.
“Don’t lie, sweetheart. It doesn’t suit you.”
She bit her lip, but he moved his hand and touched her lips with his thumb.
“Stop hurting those lips. You know what happens when you do that.” He paused, then added. “I like you.”