by Iris Blobel
Carefully, he made a step closer to her. “That’s no reason, though, to show off your error in judgement.”
Emma looked down to her toes, wrapping her arms around herself again.
He gave her a narrowed glance. “Anything to do with looking after Nadine?” he asked.
She drew a deep breath. His ability to figure things out so easily left her uncomfortable. “No! No, not at all. It’s not her fault. It’s–”
“You’re a lousy liar!”
She let out a big sigh. “Looking after Naddie didn’t get me into trouble, but as you know I was put on unpaid leave and I can’t afford to have another day off. Especially now that I have to find a new place.” Her eyes filled with stinging tears. Hands dropping by her side she noticed how he gazed at her before he leaned closer.
She had a feeling, a notion, he was going to kiss her. But then he whispered, “Please stay.”
Taking a step back, she replied, “Not a good idea.” She looked around for the sake of not looking at him. “If it’s all right with you, I think I’ll just have a quick shower and be out of your place tomorrow.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned against the wall. Silence. Rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand, he gave in, “Okay, I get the gist about you’re not being fond of me at the moment, but I think the most important issue here is to get you back on your feet. The son-of–”
Emma held up her hand. “Don’t say it, Flynn.”
He stepped closer. “Listen. Jack obviously hurt you and bottom line is, it’s our family who is partly at fault for your troubles. So really, the least I can do is to help by letting you stay here.”
“It wasn’t your family. It’s in his character as it seems. I suppose it would’ve happened anyway. Sooner or later, I guess.” Clearing her throat, she lowered herself onto the bed. “Got tissues?”
His eyebrows shot up. “Beg yours?”
She whimpered as the tears rolled down her face. “I ne… need tissues.”
Flynn walked over and grabbed a box of tissues off Nadine’s shelf.
“I can’t believe this is all happening to me.”
With only a few steps, he stood right next to her. He kneeled with one leg in front of her, and his arm leaning onto his leg. “My grandma always said when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
She stared at him. Meeting his gaze, and with a hiccup, she said, “How is that supposed to help?”
“Don’t know. I suppose it’s about when life turns sour, try to make something sweet out of it. Or when everyone falls, get up and go again.”
Still confused she just stared at him.
“Fair dinkum, Emma. Think! What about this? Life’s not about perfection, but about the best you can do in every situation?’”
She pondered that thought as she clasped her hands together and stared at them. He closed his hands over hers, and their eyes locked. A quiver surged through her veins and there was a heavy silence around them again, only broken by a sudden noise.
The phone rang. He stood up to leave the room and answer it. Emma heard his distant voice and quickly figured it was business related. She threw herself back onto the bed and let the tears fall freely. Sobbing and tired, she took the pillow and hugged it tightly. And that was how she woke the next morning.
32
Flynn reached over to his bedside table and checked his watch. Seven o’clock. Good grief! With a big stretch, he turned onto his back and rubbed the tiredness out of his face. Well, at least he tried. As he listened carefully to the noise, he remembered that Emma had stayed the night, and apparently she was now in the bathroom. The thought of her standing in the shower just down the hall brought up emotions which had been dormant for a long time. He wondered what it was about her that drew him in and refused to let go. It wasn’t just the thought of holding her and touching her skin. Her naked skin. The naked skin she was covering with her clothes. No, it was something else. Her obvious fondness of his daughter? He knew it was more than that, too. Her smile. Her ability to help him cope, or understand Nadine. Her humour and her tears. He didn’t like her tears, of course, but he had come to appreciate her open emotions.
Turning to the side he gazed out the window. No rainbow today! He remembered years ago when he had rung his boss that day to take a week leave. Flynn was given two days. Taking the next possible flight to Launceston, he had searched up and down the streets, friends, family, acquaintances, and even neighbours. He was desperate to find her. Little did he know then that she didn’t want to be found.
With his heart broken into many pieces, he’d returned to Melbourne. His life would never be the same. And his heart closed up deep inside, never to resurface, until now.
Flynn threw the duvet back and sat on the side of the bed rubbing his hands again over his face. In one smooth motion, he stood up and walked over to his bathroom and had a shower as well. Once finished, he followed the smell of coffee into the kitchen, where he watched Emma carefully opening one cupboard after the other. Initially, there was some irritation building up inside of him wondering what on earth she was doing, but then he figured out she was trying to find her way around. Thank goodness she had found the coffee first.
“Good morning!”
She startled and quickly turned around. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Nodding towards the coffee, she asked, “I hope you like coffee.”
He grabbed a cup and filled it. After he took a sip he said, “For a coffee like that it might just be worth convincing you to stay here.”
A hesitant smile appeared on Emma’s lips as she looked around again.
Following her gaze, he asked, “I kind of know the kitchen quite well. What are you after?”
Holding up her finger, she explained. “Don’t like Vegemite, and I was looking for a towel so I can wash my hands.” But before she could get rid of the yeast product stuck to her hands, he took her hand and still holding eye contact, sucked it off her finger.
He grinned. Yes, he had noticed his effect on her as well, and imagined, or quietly guessed, her knees to be jelly-like. “Now I’d love to know how you got the stuff on your fingers in the first place, if you don’t like it.”
She nodded over at the jar. “It’s all over it, and I had to move it to check out the jam collection.”
“That’s what you get when living with kids.”
When her gaze fell onto her hand, she gently pulled it away. Flynn had other ideas though. He held on and kissed the inside of her palm.
“I’ve got to go,” she said quietly.
He raised an eyebrow. “So, you’re still going to work?”
“Yes, I honestly have to. I’ll be fine.”
Flynn hooked his finger into her pants and pulled her closer, and as soon as his knuckle touched her skin his body jerked in response.
Moving closer to her face, just close enough to feel the heat of her breath next to his ear, his pulse quickened.
“I’d give anything for you to stay here today, but I suppose the timing –”
With a heavy sigh she stepped back. “Not just the timing, Flynn.” Removing his hand from the waistband of her pants, she looked at his eyes. “I’m not sure whether you’re my lemonade. You seem more like cola to me. Tempting and yummy, but not good for one’s health.”
He let go of her hand and placed the cup on the bench. As he turned around, he asked, with tension obvious in his voice, “Do you need a lift?”
* * *
* * *
“Sunshine, I’m truly sorry.” Jack was walking behind her like a little duckling as she prepared for her shift to start in a few minutes.
It had taken her ages to get to work that morning. Though Flynn’s apartment was central, it had taken her a while to figure out which trams to take. Sleep the previous night had come quickly, but it hadn’t exactly been a good sleep, or satisfying. So, still being tired, still stirred up by the previous day’s events, and still confused by that morning’s events, she was in no
mood to talk to anybody, let alone Jack – in fact, she didn’t want any of him.
Emma turned, but her gaze went past him. “Please, Jack. I’d appreciate if you could leave me alone. At least here at work.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. “Em, I need you to listen to me.”
With tears pressing, she closed her eyes for a moment. “Jack, please.”
“Look Em. Give me just ten minutes. What about lunch?”
A deep breath. Still unsure, she hesitantly agreed. “Okay, lunch it is. Over at the café across the road.” She moved his hands off her arm, and then looked him straight in the eyes. “Don’t get your hopes up, though, Jack.”
When he lifted his arm towards her face she flinched, but he didn’t stop, and traced the curve of her jaw with his thumb. “I’d give anything to kiss this result of my stupidity away.”
Emma stepped back. “Jack, I’ll have lunch with you because you asked me for ten minutes. But I will not come back.”
Temper flaring again, he said through gritted teeth. “Please, don’t tell me you’re staying with Mr. Daddy.”
Swallowing hard, she replied. “This has nothing to do with him.”
“It has everything to do with him, Em. He’s the one who’s moving between us.”
Infuriated by his tone, she took a deep breath before she replied. “That’s not true and you know it. I think he’s a selfish jerk and I’ve told you many times, yet I love spending time with Nadine and–”
Cold eyes sniped at her. “For the love of Pete, Em. How can someone like to spend time with a little kid?”
She stared at him gobsmacked. Why on earth had she wanted to give him ten minutes of her precious time? Not only was her heart devastated, but she was getting beyond the point of anger. Or disappointment? No, no she wasn’t disappointed, but annoyed with herself for letting herself be blindsided like that. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
“I’m sorry. I don’t think–” She stiffened her bottom lip as a tear fell onto her cheek.
Cursing words flew through the room before he rubbed his face with his hands. “Sunshine, we get along great. Lunch at twelve. I’ll pick you up.”
No, she couldn’t. Like in slow motion she searched his eyes, but suddenly anxious to get away from his presence, she turned and left him standing there.
33
Flynn looked over at his daughter as she sat there in her pyjamas, dressing her little doll. With a smile he acknowledged that in only a few weeks he had mastered the little buttons on those doll clothes. Not to mention the crash course he had taken on the world of dolls and fairies.
He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a heavy sigh. Sarah’s letter had stirred up a lot of emotions in him, which caused him a number of sleepless nights. He had read and re-read it a thousand times – at least! Shown it to his parents to read, who told him again they would accept his decision, but it wasn’t really what they thought was best for their granddaughter. Having a father who worked all day couldn’t be the best for a child, though. Why would nobody see that? She would be constantly shoved around, and really only with him at night, when they both were tired.
Then, Nadine had left for Tasmania. It had only been a few days since his parents had taken her over. Mainly to “show her off” to friends and family, but also to visit Sarah’s grave.
The day after Emma had slept in Nadine’s room, he had thrown himself onto the extra bed, smelled Emma in the sheets and the pillow case, thought about the kiss they had shared, and thought about how relentless she had been for the sake of Nadine’s welfare. Thought about her trouble at work, and that son-of—. He felt her virtual hand on his mouth and didn’t go there. She was one in a million, just like Sarah!
He gazed over at Nadine’s empty bed and smiled. He actually grinned and started to laugh. He missed her. He actually missed her tiny little feet pitter-pattering through the rooms. Her giggle. Her questions. Her eyes when she asked him for one more lolly. He had been so blind and so trapped in the past that he had turned away from the future. It had been that day he had made some phone calls. Important ones. And he was quite pleased about the answers he had received. When he had told his parents, the joy that spread over their faces had said it all.
* * *
* * *
“Hey, Miss Muffin? Wanna come and sit with me for a minute?”
Nadine stood and came over to him. She sat next to him. Sitting on his lap didn’t yet come naturally, and he accepted that. Flynn sat with one knee bent under him on the sofa and the other one on the floor as he faced his daughter.
Flynn smiled at Nadine’s blank expression.
“Muffin, can you remember on the first day that I was scared?”
She took his face in her hands. “Mum always said you’re never scared of anything.”
Raising his eyebrows, he nodded. “I need to get this right, though.” He gently took a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. “I think it’s time to talk about what you want and how we can make you happy.”
Lowering her head she dropped her hands into her lap. He looked over to his parents who had been silently watching them both. Jenny nodded to him as though to say, “Go on.”
“Nadine. I need you to be honest, otherwise it won’t work.”
She nodded. “Mum said you’ll look after me.”
He took her hand. “I know. She wrote me a letter. See, sometimes it takes a bit longer for some people to figure out what’s right and what’s not so right.” His heart sank and guilt churned in the pit of his stomach. “Would you like it here in Melbourne?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “I s’pose so.” But she didn’t look up.
“You’re missing your friends?”
A nod, slow but distinct.
“Miss Muffin?” He tilted her chin up. “Would you like us to move to Launceston?”
Straightaway he knew. By the way she slowly gazed up at him with her green eyes lighting up, he knew! He looked over to Jenny and Carl, and from their expression it seemed they knew as well.
“With you?” he heard her asking quietly.
“Yup. You and me.”
“With Grandma and Grandpa Gibbs?”
“Are you out of your–”
She put her fingers onto his lips. “No swearing Dad. You need to learn to watch what you’re saying.”
“What did I say?”
“It’s what you were going to say.”
His eyes narrowed. “Mind?”
“It’s the tune that makes the music, Mum always said.”
Carl chuckled. “She might turn you in a respectable young man.” But held up his hands in surrender when Flynn shot him a glare.
Flynn turned back to Nadine. Defeated, he said, “I’ll do my best.”
“Good!”
The corners of his mouth twitched with the need to smile as he took her hand and kissed it. “I suppose it’s a done deal then that we’ll move. I’d better ring those people again to check when I can start to work there.”
“Really, Dad?”
With his heart skipping a beat, he pulled her close for a hug. “It’s a promise.”
Her lips spread into a big smile. “Mum said you would. I would just have to be patient.”
“Did she, now?”
“Hm-mm.” Still hugging him, she added quietly, “I’ll miss Emma though.”
Closing his eyes and enjoying the moment he knew — he would, too!
* * *
* * *
“How do you know where–” Emma stopped mid-sentence when he lifted the flowers in front of her. The most beautiful flowers she’d ever seen. She opened the door of Mary’s house a little wider and stepped out. Looking up and down the street, she wondered whether anybody else was watching. It was one of those spring days where the sun couldn’t make up its mind whether to shine or not, and the rain had no real intentions to come out, either. The sky was grey and dull and very much reflected her mood. Emma had stayed with her auntie the last
few days since moving out of Jack’s place, and she had done her best to lift her spirits, but to no avail. Sulking was her comfort at the moment, misery her friend.
After a minute of silence, she looked up at him. “Lilies.”
Shrugging, he held them up to her.
“How did you know where to find me?”
“Your friend Jacqui told me after a full-on confession.”
“Who is it, Emma darling?”
Turning around, she saw her auntie coming out of the kitchen towards the front door.
Mary stared at the flowers as well. “Oh my, aren’t they just beautiful. Wouldn’t you like to come in, young man?”
“No, he wouldn’t,” Emma said sternly focusing back on Flynn.
In a moment of silence, Mary looked from one to the other. She sighed. “Oh, my,” Mary said again. “I’ve almost forgotten to check on the roast in the oven.” And with that, she turned around and walked towards the kitchen. Without looking back, she added, “Nice meeting you again, young man! And give my love to Naddie.”
Flynn stared at his shoes. “Emma, just five minutes please?”
“As far as I remember, I’ve given you more than that, already.”
She was about to shut the door on him when he caught it with his hand and held it open. “Naddie is staying with me,” he said quickly.
She slowly opened the door and stared at him. Her composure was a fragile shell around her as she tried to take in what he had just told her in five words. Closing her eyes, she felt her heart thumping in her throat, her heart aching with pain. “So, you think that by keeping Naddie with you all is forgotten and forgiven, and I’ll like you now?” she whispered.
With the flowers clutched in his fist, he lowered his hand to his side. “Nope.” His gaze lowered as did his voice. To the point, she had shivers down her spine. “I’m purely here to give you the flowers as thanks for persisting with me and Naddie. I messed up by not following Saz back to Tassie. For not trying harder to find her. But I won’t mess this one up. Naddie and I had a heart-to-heart a few days back, and we both agreed that it’ll be tough, but we’ll give it a try.” He lifted up the flowers and laid them just inside the door next to her feet. “That was all.” He turned around and walked towards the car.